Learning To Fly
By: Kellryn
Notes:
I want to thank Ad-chan for sending me the lyrics and some of her ideas. This fic wouldn't be possible without her generous help!
Into the distance, a ribbon of black
The sun was setting, bathing the ocean with red and orange hues. On the horizon, a small black dot appeared. The object skimmed just above the waves as it approached the OZ base, unawares.
Deathscythe Hell rose over the cliff face and wielded its thermal blade; ready to destroy the cargo planes of ammunition waiting for transport. Duo swore as a swarm of mobile suits suddenly came careening out of the nearby hangars and opened fire on the black gundam. Deathscythe Hell turned to face the approaching army, its pilot furious that he had been discovered.
“What the hell? This is a minimal security base... there shouldn’t be this many mobile suits!” yelled Duo.
Duo skillfully worked the controls to his gundam, his thermal blade passing through enemy mobile suits left and right. But for every one he destroyed, two more mobile suits would take its place.
Stretched to the point of no turning back
“Uhn... can’t take much more of this,” gasped Duo as an enemy got under his defenses.
The young pilot couldn’t keep up with the sheer number of attacks. I don’t believe this, a routine mission that only required a single gundam... How could it go so wrong? OZ was expecting me. That’s the only explanation. If only one of the others were here... he thought as he was thrown around his cockpit.
The mobile suits had him surrounded, and Duo knew he wouldn’t be able to keep his beloved Shinigami out of the enemy’s hands if he didn’t act fast.
“Guess there’s only one thing left to do,” Duo muttered, as a determined look crossed his face.
He flipped the switch on his gundam’s control panel that revealed the self destruct button. Duo was comforted a bit by the knowledge that he’d take a great deal of the enemy with him in the impending explosion.
Taking a deep breath, the pilot of Deathscythe Hell pressed the button.
Heero... was Duo’s last thought before unimaginable pain ripped through his body as a wave of searing heat enveloped his Gundam.
A flight of fancy on a wind swept field
Standing alone my senses reeled
The darkness was overwhelming. A cold wind swept through the abyss, causing the boy who called himself `Death` to shiver.
Where am I? Dead, I suppose... Didn’t think that death would hurt so much, though. The darkness slowly gave way to a pale, gray terrain. Ahead of Duo was a welcoming light, behind was more of the never-ending, cold blackness. Guess I go towards the light. Hn. Even in death, I still wear the mask of the joker. Duo smirked at his own joke and took a step towards the light, but hesitated when a voice pushed past the darkness behind him.
“Please don’t go, not yet... ”
A fatal attraction holding me fast, how
Can I escape this irresistible grasp?
That sounded like Heero. But... Duo stood riveted, the gray terrain shrinking around him. Bright tendrils reached out to him, folding Duo in warmth and easing his pain. The blackness was dwindling as more and more of the light swirled around to encase Duo.
So warm...
“Duo... ”
Heero!
Duo twisted away from the wisps of light and reached for the quickly disappearing darkness, from which he had heard Heero’s voice. As he left the light behind, so did the comfort of its embrace leave him, opening him to horrendous pain.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Duo opened his eyes, blinking in the sudden brightness. He groaned as a new source of pain lanced through his body.
“Duo! You’re awake. Let me get the others, they’ll want to see you too,” rambled Quatre as he ran to the door, yelling for the others. Turning back to Duo, Quatre said, “Lie still. You need time to recover. We... you almost died!”
Duo relaxed against the pillows as the other pilots entered.
“Where’s Heero?” Duo inquired.
“He went to work on Wing. Maybe he didn’t hear Quatre yelling that you were awake,” replied Wufei.
“Oh... ” the last was spoken as no more than a whisper.
If any of the others caught the disappointment in their companion’s voice, nothing was said to indicate it.
“Uhm... what happened? The last thing I remember is being surrounded by mobile suits and using the my self destruct,” Duo winced, as even talking made the pain worse.
“Heero discovered that the mission was a trap and we all went to help. Your comm unit must have been broken because you didn’t return our transmissions... We arrived just in time to see Deathscythe Hell go up in flames,” answered Quatre.
“We three held off the mobile suits while Heero searched what was left of your gundam to see if you had survived,” added Trowa.
“Guess I’m grounded until Shinigami can rise again,” sighed Duo, while glancing out the window towards the wide open sky.
Can’t keep my eyes from the circling sky
Tongue-tied and twisted just an earth-bound misfit, I
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Ice is forming on the tips of my wings
Duo awoke screaming. A barely recognized memory fragment of light and darkness fighting to claim his soul, was quickly turning him to ice. And then warm arms encircled Duo’s shivering form.
“Shh... it’s all right. Don’t move, you’ll hurt yourself even more,” Heero whispered.
Duo relaxed into the embrace and slowly began to warm up, the ice melting under Heero’s strong and steady presence.
Unheeded warnings, I thought I thought of everything
No navigator to guide my way home
Unladened, empty and turned to stone
This is the same feeling that helped me to fight the light in that abyss. Was it really Heero that allowed me to claw my way to the darkness? Strange that I would shun a light offering eternal peace and comfort. And instead, I battle my way through a darkness that was full of pain and misery. But then, I guess it really wasn’t much of a choice... Heero was where the darkness led.
“Heero?”
“Yes.”
“Thank you for saving my life. It was you that called me back from Deaths door.”
“...”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A soul in tension that’s learning to fly
Condition grounded but determined to try
“Duo, slow down!” yelled Quatre as he ran after a hobbling Duo.
“I can’t,” heaved Duo, out of breath from the short walk from his room to the balcony, “Besides, I need to be up and ready when those stupid scientists finish building me a new Shinigami!”
Can’t keep my eyes from the circling sky
Tongue-tied and twisted just an earth-bound misfit, I
Duo wistfully looked at the clouds. Quatre followed his gaze and shook his head.
Sighing, Quatre said, “Duo, you’re recovering well... please don’t rush yourself. Remember, you self destructed and almost died! Give yourself some time.”
He left Duo to his thoughts, as the latter seemed lost in his own world, anyways.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Above the planet on a wing and a prayer
My grubby halo, a vapour trail in the empty air
Duo was flying...
Across the clouds I see my shadow fly Out of the corner of my watering eye
As he watched his shadow, Duo noticed his was not the only one sailing across the clouds and fields below him. Glancing behind, he caught a glimpse of... something... just out of the corner of his eye. Something he desperately wanted to reach, but couldn’t. Almost like...
A dream unthreatened by the morning light
Could blow this soul right through the roof of the night
The scene changed abruptly, and Duo was once again back at his last encounter with OZ. The dream played itself out just as the real events had happened.
Duo whimpered as he dreamed of his self destruct and his near death once again. He was trapped by his indecisiveness. He badly wanted to be free from pain and suffering, yet he knew that only one thing could truly free his soul. The final comprehension of his dream and the realization of what it meant propelled Duo awake. Breathing hard, Duo thought; Even the promised sanctuary of death couldn’t sway me from my feelings for Heero. I actually fought to stay alive for him.
Duo slowly and painfully crept his way along the hallway towards Heero’s room. Pausing outside the door he swallowed, took a deep, calming breath and pushed the door open. Finally reaching the bed, he gazed down at the being that had claimed him. Duo tried to lower himself to the edge of the bed, but his legs gave out and he ended up sprawled on top of Heero.
“Duo?”
“Uhm, sorry... guess I’m still a little weak after all.”
“Duo, what are you doing here?”
“Heero... I need to know if... if everything you did to help me was just because I’m a fellow gundam pilot or... if I mean more to you.”
“...”
“Please answer me. I know I’m still alive because I heard you tell me not to die, but if that was just because I’m a fellow pilot, then maybe... I made the wrong decision.”
“Don’t say that! How can you say that death would be better than being alive when so many people need you?”
Duo looked into Heero’s wide eyes and leaned forward, “Do you need me?”
The simple question sent Heero reeling.
Why do I react this way? It’s just like when I saw Deathscythe Hell explode. Duo is a good pilot, he’s needed to fight in the war, that’s why I hoped he would live, right? But then why did I have the urge to comfort him that first night after he woke up? Does he mean more to me than just a fellow gundam pilot? Do I... care... for him?
Duo lowered his head, taking Heero’s silence as a negative. He awkwardly tried to detangle himself from Heero.
“Sorry, I woke you.” sighed Duo in defeat.
Heero grabbed Duo’s arm and held him close, “Why is my answer so important to you?”
Looking into Heero’s eyes once again, Duo found himself lost and replied without thinking, “Because I love you.”
Heero’s eyes widened in surprise. “Duo, I... ” I can’t say it... not yet but... Heero pulled Duo down and leaned forward to brush his lips over Duo’s.
Duo instinctually pressed his lips more securely against Heero’s and wrapped his arms around his neck. Heero parted his lips allowing Duo’s tongue entry to the warm, deep recesses of his mouth. Both boys groaned at the passionate sensations that coursed through their bodies from the wild and heated kiss.
Heero pulled Duo under the blankets and nuzzled his arched neck. Duo burrowed against Heero, tailoring himself, so that they were touching as much as possible.
As Heero pressed a last gentle kiss to Duo’s forehead, just before he fell asleep with a content smile playing across his face, Duo thought; I'm his - body, mind, and soul.
There’s no sensation to compare with this
Suspended animation, a state of bliss
Can’t keep my eyes from the circling sky
Tongue-tied and twisted just an earth-bound misfit, I
~Fin~
Notes:
Learning To Fly is sung and performed by Pink Floyd.
