1993

Anna sat down on the yellow couch. "Don'tcha just love this couch?"

Chris rolled his eyes. "Oh yeah. It's the best couch ever." He sat beside her.

She smacked his arm. "Smart alec. If you feel that way about it why did you encourage me to buy it?"

"Because…you don't have any furniture. I need something to sit on while I wait for you to get ready. I was tired of sitting on the floor."

"Aww, poor baby. But no matter what you say I still love this couch. It's nice and comfortable, plus no one I know will have one the same color."

"That's because they all have taste, hon."

"Why, Christopher, I'd oughta…" She shot him an evil look.

He grabbed her hands as they waved in the air. "You'd oughta what?"

"Well, with those lips of yours so dangerously close I think I'd oughta kiss you. Any problem with that?"

"None at all. Fire at will." Chris' smile widened as Anna leaned into him and pressed her lips to his.

~~~~~~ ~~~~~~ ~~~~~~

2000

"Chris? Phone for you."

Chris laughed silently. I'm not falling for that old trick. If she wants to find me she'll have to do it the old fashioned way. Using her noodle.

"Chris, this time I'm being serious. You have a phone call." Chris' girlfriend, Sabra, sighed and called out to him again. "I'm swearing on my own grave that you really do have a phone call and this is not some way to make you lose this game of hide-and-seek. And this is also not a trick to tell you this is not a trick to get you to come out of hiding."

Chris sat down in the closet he was hiding in.

"Okay, Chris, I'll tell the nice lawyer that you never knew anyone by the name of Anna Tirenna and don't care what she left you in her will."

At the name Anna Tirenna Chris sat upright, knocking half the things on the floor crashing around him. Did she just say Anna was dead? No, that can't be. Anna's my age, much to young to die.

"Okay, Chris. Hello, Mr. Titleram, he's not answering me so I'm guessing he never knew a woman by the name Anna Tir- Wait, a second. Here he is." Sabra handed the phone to her irritated boyfriend.

"This had better not be one of your friends so you can win this game, but I don't remember telling you Anna's last name." He sighed. "Hello?"

"Chris Kirkpatrick?"

Chris' body tensed when he didn't recognize the voice. "Ye-ye-yes. How can I help you?"

"Did you know someone by the name of Anna Tirenna, who use to live in Orlando, Florida?"

"Yes, I know someone by that name who use to live here."

"I'm sorry to be the one to break this news to you, Mr. Kirkpatrick, but Anna Tirenna's dead. Her family gave me a number to contact you and they gave me this number."

Chris' face paled and he sat down. "What do you need from me?"

~~~~~~ ~~~~~~ ~~~~~~

Chris sat in the cab and watched as the Phoenix skyscrapers went by in a blur, both from the speed of the car and the tears threatening to fall from his eyes.

"All right, son. 321 Highland Street. That'll be $8.50."

Chris pulled out his wallet and paid the driver before climbing out of the taxi and stopping to look at the building. It looked like most around it, many floors and a windowed front. He took a deep breath and opened the front door. Here goes nothing.

The security guard at the front desk told him the correct floor to go to and he waited for the elevator. Once as he got on the elevator it seemed to go too fast and too slow at the same time. It went fast because of Chris' mission. To find out what a now dead ex-girlfriend had left him. It went slow for the same reason. The faster the elevator went the quicker Chris had to accept the fact that Anna was dead, and that was something he was having a hard time doing. He took another deep breath before walking into the attorney's office.

"Hey, Chris."

Chris looked up and smiled. "Hey, Les, it's great to see you. Well, the circumstances aren't great. I mean I wish it was under better circumstances…"

Les held his hand out and shook Chris'. "I know what you're trying to say, and me too. We're still waiting on a few people."

"Okay. Are those you're parents over there? I haven't seen them since they came to visit Anna before she moved away and we lost touch. I'm going to express my gratitude toward them for helping Anna when she was sick."

"Chris, I wouldn't do that." Les placed his hand on the older man's arm.

"Why not? We always got along."

"Just trust me on that one. I would probably be dead if my mother's look at me could kill me. Then again two children in one week would be a bit much."

Chris peered behind the taller man and would have been sprawled on the floor if Mrs. Tirenna's stare could kill. "Just a bit. What happened, Les? How'd she die?"

"She was outside the elementary school picking up some kids when her heart gave out."

"It just gave out?"

"Yup."

Chris shifted in his seat. "Did that have anything to do with why she came home to Phoenix five years ago?"

"Kind of. What happened didn't help her heart out, but you know how stubborn my sister is…was." Les couldn't meet Chris' eyes.

"She never told me what she had that was bad enough for her to come back here…and to break up with me."

Les looked down nervously. "Well, Chris…the reason why she didn't tell you is because…" The sentence was never finished because they were called into one of the conference rooms.

The lawyer sat at a desk and everyone sat in a chair facing him. Everyone in the Tirenna family sat in a circle around Anna and Les' parents, leaving Chris to sit to the side.

"I don't have to tell you what we're all doing here. A wonderful young woman has died."

"My baby. Why? This didn't have to be. Why, god?"

Chris turned his head at Mrs. Tirenna's cry and found some people looking at him, as if he were to blame for Anna's death. But I haven't seen her in five years, ever since she left me. This is just weird.

"Well, Anna prepared for this day, should it ever come," the lawyer continued after a moment of quiet. "Now Miss Tirenna wrote letters to all of you, each telling you what she left you. I have copies of them locked up somewhere. Anna wanted me to incase anyone decided to go against her wishes. She also wanted me to remind you that these are her wishes, and to please respect her decisions. Here are your envelopes." He passed the white envelopes out. He then walked over to Chris.

"Mr. Kirkpatrick, I presume?"

Chris nodded.

"I'm sorry for the loss, but Anna wanted your 'inheritance' to be given to you here. Please come with me." He led Chris to a side door in the room. "Anna wanted you to read the letter before you go in there."

Chris nodded. As he opened his envelope and read the letter he felt the eyes of everyone else in the room on him.

Dearest Chris,

   If you're reading this then I must not be alive, and I haven't talked to you yet. Please don't be mad at me. I know my parents are mad at me, and furious with you. When you look at what I left you you'll know why, but it's all my fault. Again, please don't be mad at me.

   Remember the yellow couch? Well, it didn't sit well with my parents, but I kept it. I needed something to remind me of you. Your dislike of it was enough to make me keep it. I remember all the time you spent on it complaining to me about how we were going to be late. I also remember what we'd do on it after we left early from all those places we were late to. That thing holds a lot of memories for me. Good ones.

   I'm sorry for leaving you. It was a hard decision. One I think my parent's coerced (I looked that up in the dictionary. Aren't you proud of me?) me into it. I can't give them all the blame. I went along with everything.

   I figured that once as your group got off the ground that you'd be so busy that I'd get in the way. You didn't need anything holding you back. I wanted to let you have the freedom to do what you needed, without restrictions from me, or anyone else. I was already confused and figured just going home to Phoenix and letting you live your life was the best thing for all of us. I may have been wrong, or I may have been right. I'll never know.

   I'm glad your group has worked out. I'm very proud of what you've accomplished. Just to think that I couldn't tell anyone about the fact that I knew you for fear of never being left alone, because all these people want to know the "real" Chris Kirkpatrick.

   Well, the real Chris Kirkpatrick is a loving and caring man. Willing to sacrifice himself, his face, for others. Maybe that's one reason why I did what I did. Who knows? Now onto more of your good qualities. Isn't that an oxymoron? Chris Kirkpatrick and good qualities? Damn, how I loved your smile. You'd better be smiling since I just told/wrote a joke. Enough being sidetracked. Let's see where I was…oh yes. He's kind, caring, lovable, unselfish, big hearted, fun, unpredictable. I could go on, but there's not enough paper in the world.

   I hope you do with what I left you as I hope you to. Please don't hate me. I give you my most treasured possession. You're the only one who's ever held my heart, so I left you this.

Eternaly,
Anna

Chris smiled slightly at Anna's jokes and turned to the lawyer. "What did she give me? The yellow couch? Why couldn't that have been shipped from where it was?"

"Mr. Kirkpatrick, here's what she left you." The lawyer opened the door and let Chris walk into the room alone.

Chris slowly walked into the room and turned to the yellow object he saw in the corner of his eye. As the couch came into view Chris tasted the tears he didn't know had started to fall.

~~~~~~ ~~~~~~ ~~~~~~

"Chris?"

"In here, Sabra," Chris called from his kitchen four days later. He turned as she entered the room. "Sorry for staying in Phoenix longer than expected."

"It's okay." She reached out and hugged him. "By the way. What's up with the yellow couch? It's new, at least to here."

"Oh, that's part of what Anna gave me…" Chris trailed off.

"If that's only part then what's the rest? A matching rocking chair?" Sabra laughed until a shuffling was heard in the hall.

"Daddy?"

Sabra turned and saw a miniature version of Chris standing in the doorway. Her jaw dropped in shock. Chris got up from the table and knelt beside the child.

"Allen, this is my…daddy’s friend Sabra. Sabra, this is my son, Allen. He’s the other part of what Anna left me." He turned back to Allen. "What do you need, Allen?"

"Umm," the little boy hesitated with a sniffle, "I can’t find my picture of mommy. I miss her and I can’t sleep without it."

"Will you wait here until I come back?" he hopefully asked Sabra. After she nodded he followed his son to his room. Chris tucked Allen into bed and placed the found picture next to him. He brushed Allen’s bangs off his face as the boy fell asleep.

He stopped at the door and watched the young boy sleep in the big bed. After a moment Chris went back into the kitchen and sat at the table. He waited until the question on Sabra’s mind was voiced. He didn’t have to wait long.

"Why didn’t you tell me you had a son?"

"I didn’t know. No, Sabra, I didn’t," he repeated as a disbelieving look crossed the woman’s face.

"You mean to tell me that this woman carried and gave birth to your son and she didn’t tell you?"

Chris nodded. "Yes. I swear it’s the truth. Here," he got up and returned with an envelope in his hands," this is a letter she wrote and it explains why she didn’t tell me."

Sabra took the letter from her boyfriend, opened it and began to read. The kitchen was silent as she read. Her expression softened as she got to the end.

"So she didn’t tell you because she didn’t want you to have any obstacles on your way to making it big in the music industry?"

"I guess. That’s what she wrote." He placed a hand on hers. "I swear that if I knew about Allen I would have told you. He’s not something that’s easy to hide. I’ve known him but a few days and I already can’t imagine not giving him my all. Damn, I wish she had told me," he lightly cursed.

She spread her fingers so his could slide between them and squeezed. "I know you do, but she had her reasons and they’re right here." She pointed to the letter in emphasis. "Chris, you can’t change the past."

He stood and leaned against the counter. "I know I can’t. It’s just hard to believe that I’ve been someone’s father for five years and had absolutely no clue. No wonder Les told me not to speak to his parents. They thought I would break up with my pregnant girlfriend to follow my career. I guess that shows how little they knew me."

"But I thought in the letter Anna said that it was their idea?"

"She did, and it was, but they somehow thought I knew about it…him. They had told her that I would drop her like a hot potato once as I found out she was carrying my child. That my career would always come first, and she and the baby would be lost memories once as the fame came. And, somehow, she went along with it."

"What do you believe she was thinking?"

Chris took a deep breath. "I think deep down she knew I would never do anything like what they were suggesting, but she knew that having a baby and maybe even wife could effect the success of the group."

"With the fans and all?" Sabra moved in her seat to get a better look at him.

"Not just that, but also with my time constraints. Having a child takes time. Time that should be spent rehearsing and recording." He took another deep breath and glanced at the hallway leading to the bedroom. "This is all so new to me. Having a child changes my life completely."

"Are you willing to make those changes?"

Chris’ head snapped up. "Of course I am. That is my son in there," he started to yell as he pointed out of the room. "I would do anything for him."

"Chris! Stop yelling or you’re going to wake him. I know you would do anything for him. It’s just that it’s a huge undertaking"

He sighed and ran his hands through his hair. "Sorry. It’s just that this has been a rough couple of days. What do you think about this new development in my life?" He looked at her expectantly.

"Well, it’s going to take some time to get used to. You being someone’s father? Don’t get me wrong, I’m sure you’ll make a great daddy, but this is unexpected. To tell you the truth I don’t know how I feel at this moment. I need to let it absorb first. Will you let me do that?"

"I’ll try. That’s the best I can give you now. I guess what I really want to know is if you’re staying or going."

Sabra sighed. "I know and I don’t know. As I said before this is a huge undertaking, one you shouldn’t do alone, but I don’t know if I can be here to help you with it. I would love to say, ‘yes, I’ll be right next to you’, but this is big and I don’t want to make a mistake with my decision."

"Then maybe you should just go. Right now I need definites and you’re not giving me any. As much as I care about you I need to think of Allen first and I don’t want him getting attached to a woman who’s not going to stick around."

"Chris, please don’t do anything rash. I just need a few days or so to get used to the idea. Please just give me some time to think about it?"

Chris sighed and lowered his head. "All right, but just think about my concern. If you’re sure you’re not going to stick around, don’t come back. I have a son to think about now."

"Chris, don’t make this all about Allen. Sure, you need to take him into consideration, but don’t forget about yourself." She stood. "As much as you want the best for him don’t forget about doing the best for you. Don’t go shutting people out that could help you in the long run. If you go turning down every female because she may not be ‘the one’ then you’ll be alone for the rest of your life, because you never know unless you try." She let him walk her to his door. "Can I call you in a few days?"

Chris nodded silently and let her kiss his cheek before closing the door behind her.

"Well, that went well. One down and four to go tomorrow." He picked up the phone and dialed. He pressed the on/off button twice. "Damn ten digit dialing," he cursed as he re-dialed.

"Hello?" the voice on the other line asked.

Chris took a deep breath. "Justin, do you think we could have a group meeting at your house tomorrow?"

~~~~~~ ~~~~~~ ~~~~~~

Chris nervously tapped his fingers on the steering wheel as he waited for the light to turn green. He looked at the boy in the passenger seat and sighed. He was worried on how his group mates would take the news of a new Kirkpatrick. He knew this development effected them all and hoped they could work something out.

If not, then I might have to quit the group. I hope we figure something out, Chris thought as he pulled into Justin’s driveway.

Inside the house his friends were waiting for him.

"Here he is," Justin announced. "I wonder what was so important that he called an emergency group meeting here?"

Lance stood beside him. "I don’t know. Maybe it has something to do with that girl Anna’s death. Wait a second," he continued as Chris pulled Allen out of the passenger seat, "is that a kid he’s carrying?"

"What?" the three other men cried in unison. JC and Joey ran to look out the window over Lance and Justin’s shoulder.

"What’s he doing with a kid? Is that what this is all about?" Joey paused. "How long ago did Anna leave?"

"Why?" Justin asked.

"Because I’m thinking it was about five years ago and that boy looks about five years old."

"Wait a minute here," Lance interrupted. "Let’s not jump to any conclusions. Just sit back and let him explain. Okay?"

He was met with three nods. The four men watched as Chris bent down to talk with Justin’s brother Jon. He looked at the younger boy and nodded. Chris ruffled the boys’ hair and kissed Allen’s head before heading towards the house. The four men at the window ran to sit on chairs and the couch. As the fifth man joined them they strained not to look out the window and interrogate their friend.

"Hey, guys," Chris said cautiously.

"Hey, man, what’s up?" JC asked casually.

"Well, I’m sure you all are wondering why I called you here and why I showed up with that boy outside with Jon. Don’t even pretend you weren’t at that window there." Chris pointed to the window where the four men had been perched.

Joey shrugged a sigh. "Okay, so we were. Can you please put our minds at ease and tell us what’s going on?"

Chris looked at his four friends before continuing. "Well, as you know, before I left none of us had ever seen that kid before, and now I come here with him. I’m sure you’ve all come to conclusions and I have to say you’re right. That boy out there is my son. Allen." Chris closed his eyes and waited for their reaction.

"Your son?"

"Yes, Joey, my son. And, no, I didn’t know about him. I know that was the next question someone was going to ask. She left before she started to show and her parents convinced her not to tell me."

"Wow. What are you going to do?"

"I don’t know, JC, I don’t know. Five days ago I find out I’ve been a father for five years. Five years. Right now I’m just trying to figure out the simple things, like just having a child first."

Justin stood beside his friend and placed a hand on his shoulder. "Chris, as I’m already sure you know, just having a child isn’t easy."

"I know. Being a parent is hard work, not that I’m surprised though. When I think of all my mom went through."

"Speaking of your mom, how’s she taking it? You did tell her, right?"

"Yeah. She and my sisters are coming down this weekend. She said she’d be happy to help as much as she can, but she can’t stay as long as she’d like."

"It’ll be okay. I’m sure my mom will help as much as she can."

"What did you volunteer me to help with, son?" Lynn Harless asked as she entered the room. "Who is that that Jon’s playing with?"

All the guys looked at Chris.

"I can answer both questions with one answer there, Lynn." Chris paused. "My son."

Shock registered on Lynn’s face. "Your son? I didn’t know you had a son? You never mentioned him."

Chris sighed. "That’s because I didn’t know about him until a few days ago."

"I have some questions, but I think I’ll hold off on them for now. I’ll go outside and see what the boys are up to." She looked outside before going to the door.

Chris watched as Lynn knelt beside the boys and talked with Allen. So far nothing major. Let’s just see what happens.

"So, how’s it been being a father?"

"Well, Lance, it’s been interesting. I’m learning every second. Being the oldest child I have some fatherly instincts, but I’ve never been the father before. My sisters can attest to acting like one, but I’ve never had the responsibility, or the actual job of a father."

Lance nodded.

"How’s your son handling it? He did just loose his mother too," JC pointed out.

"I know." Chris sat in a recliner. "We’re both grieving, but I can’t be as visual about it. I have to have some sort of authority feel over him, but sometimes I just loose it. Last night when I went to bed I crawled beside Allen and my dreams were filled with Anna and the memories we made. When I awoke I found myself crying and I just held Allen and cried myself back to sleep.

"Another thing that’s hard is that he knew all about me. I guess it’s good that Anna didn’t portray me to him as an evil guy or anything, but the other day he asked me why I hadn’t visited him like his mother promised him I would one day." By the end of his last sentence Chris’ words could hardly be heard through the emotion in his voice. After a few minutes he got himself back together. "I’m sorry guys."

"Don’t worry, Chris, I’m sure we’d all be acting the same way if we were in your shoes." Lance’s observation was met with three agreements.

Chris smiled. "Thanks, guys. It’s just that finding out Anna was dead, finding out I was a father and it’s aftermath has just been stressful. I hope you guys didn’t think I was avoiding you all week."

Joey waved his hand dismissively. "Not to worry. All’s forgiven. Did you talk to Sabra yet?"

Chris nodded. "Yeah. Last night."

"Well, how’d it go?"

"I don’t know. Good, bad, we’ll have to see. She said she needed time to get used to the idea. I told her if she really wasn’t sure then don’t come back because I don’t want Allen to get close to someone if they’re not going to stay. She said some more things, I said some more things, then she said she’d call me in a few days."

"So you have no clue how that’s going to turn out? Sorry, man." JC shook his head.

"Its all right. I’ll have to come to terms with whatever comes my way. From her…or from you guys."

"What do you mean, buddy?"

Chris faced Justin before looking at the rest of his friends. "Well, now that I have Allen I can’t just leave him somewhere while I go on tour. I can’t do that to my mom, or to yours, Justin. I want to stay with Allen, but I also want to stay in the group. And with our upcoming tour…"

"You want to know what we think about the whole situation?" Lance finally asked.

Chris nodded. "Yeah. I wanted to know what you guys thought of maybe, just maybe, Allen could go…could go…"

"On tour with us?"

"Yeah. I know it’s not the model way to raise a child. I know I should just stay home and raise him here but-"

"But that’s not how you live. Right now your a traveling person because of your career so it could be either your family, or your career."

Chris silently nodded. He closed his eyes and waited for a response.

"Well, as I see it there’s only one thing to do. Do you guys agree?"

Chris opened his eyes and stared at Joey expectantly. "What?"

"Well," Lance started, "there’s a bunch of things we have to do. I’ll start a list."

"First put on it that I’m going to call my old tutor and see if maybe she, or someone she could recommend, could come on tour with us. Allen’s going to have to have school."

"Good idea, Justin. Plus, that’ll give him something to do during interviews and all." JC stood up and walked behind Lance. "We need to make sure the bus will be safe for him."

Joey nodded. "Yup. I’ll tell Steve that Nicky will have a playmate if he comes with us anytime."

Chris watched his friends plan with wide eyes. "Wait a second. Does this mean…?"

Justin stopped walking and placed a hand on Chris’ shoulder. "But of course he can come with us. We seem to be adding something new to each tour. First a dog and now a kid. Come to think of it, they’re both yours. Don’t think you can make the rules just because you’re the oldest."

"I severely hope you don’t have a five year old child out there, Curly. If you do I’ll have to knock you from gig to gig myself. You won’t need the bus."

Justin smiled. "Now there’s the Chris I know."

"I’ll always be here to set you straight, J. Are you guys sure about this?" Chris asked for reassurance.

"Yes, we are, Chris. You said it was between your family and your career, right?"

Chris nodded.

"Well, you forgot one thing. Not only are we part of your career, but we’re part of your family too. Allen’s going to be just like a nephew to us." JC looked around the room. "Personally, I think having a child will be good on tour with us. I’d love to teach him to play an instrument or something. It might even help relieve stress for me to teach the kid. As long as his attention span isn't as short as his father’s." He smiled ruefully at his older friend’s glare.

"And who else to teach him to chase skirts than me?"

"Thanks for giving me a reason to keep Allen away from you, Joey. He’s five. Too young for ‘chasing skirts’ as you put it."

"Aww, dad," Joey whined.

"Now be good or I’ll send you to bed without dinner, just like Peter Rabbit."

"Yes, sir." He shot Chris a mock salute.

JC clapped his hands. "Now that everything’s back to normal, for us that is, can we meet your son?"

Chris stood up. "That might be good. Meet the kid you just volunteered spending a whole tour with. Let me get him." He walked to the door and called Allen to come in. Chris grabbed Allen’s hand when he approached the door. JC, Joey, Justin and Lance watched in awe as their ‘older brother’ transformed into a father before their eyes.

"Allen, I’d like you to meet some of my friends. We’re going to be spending a lot of time with them."

"Mom’s shown me pictures of you with them, daddy. Who are they?"

"Well, the tall one over there with all the curls is Justin. The one with the blue shirt over there is JC." JC waved and smiled when Allen waved back. "The one over there with red in his hair is Joey. And the guy over there writing is Lance."

Allen shyly looked around the room. Justin saw his eyes stop on a football in the corner of the room.

"Hey, Allen, do you like to play football?"

Allen nodded. "Yeah, but mom and Uncle Les didn’t like to play a lot."

"Well, you’ve come to the right place." Justin knelt beside the boy. "You see your father," he pointed to Chris, "used to play football. And the rest of us like sports too. How do you feel about basketball?"

"It’s my favorite." Allen smiled widely.

Justin matched his smile. "That’s what I like to hear. See Uncle Justin loves to play basketball. I’d love to play with you and teach you a few moves."

Allen’s face lit up. "Really? When?"

"How about now. Hey, Jon, about some ball? I’ll even let you take it out." Justin turned to the other guys. "Last one out is a rotten egg."

Chris laughed as his friends and son ran out of the house. He shook his head in disbelief before following them. He walked toward the basket and sat next to JC on the grass.

"How come you’re not playing with them?"

JC shrugged. "Well, Justin insisted on having both Jon and Allen on his team, so Lance and Joey and I teamed up but I decided they were enough competition."

"Fair enough. Do you think bringing Allen on tour with us is all right? Please tell me your real thoughts."

"I think it’s going to be a big adjustment for us all, but we’re going to see how it turns out. It’s going to be touch and go at times, but it’s always like that. I really don’t want to jinx it, but I think it’ll all be fine."

The two men watched the game and laughed when people made mistakes.

"JC?"

JC turned his head. "Yeah?"

"Who do you think will win this game?"

JC looked back at the driveway and laughed. "Justin, Jon and Allen. You know how Joey and Lance play, or can’t as the case may be."

Chris laughed along with his friend. He couldn’t wait to show Allen some of his favorite sights on the tour. He was grateful of his friends’ acceptance of his son. He knew the road ahead of him was a long, but not a lonely, one.