November 5, 1999
A test and a song, who knew? I took one of those tests yesterday.
I’ve never been a proponent of testing; I find the results ambiguous and subjective, not often a true reflection of the subject knowledge. I fear my teacher friend, Koko, may disagree. Koko, I’m sure, hands out tests and quizzes like Halloween candies. But she does this because the curriculum tells her she must. Structure, schools need structure. And testing is probably one of the many ways school boards feel they are preparing children for the big, cruel world out there. Maybe so. But I still don’t like ‘em.
Here’s an interesting example of how much we all despise the testing methodology.
I was surfing around the textaholics writers ring the other day and happened across a very interesting writer from Australia. He has a complicated site, chock full of theories, writings, thoughts and what-have-yous. I headed straight for his “theories” links. Gobbled up his writing like a starved dog. I think I bit off more than I could chew because I found myself confusing one theory with the next and being totally perplexed by one particular theory. So, I decided to write to him, to tell him I’d been by for a visit and find out why he wasn’t there, waiting for me, with a mug of coffee and a nice soft sofa to sit on and muse about his thoughts.
Note: I'm terribly embarassed to admit that I didn't bookmark his page so can't provide a link at this time. I will rectify that and link to his page in the next day or so, for anyone who's interested in reading his theories.I asked him about his theory which he calls Time Thought. I truly believe this theory holds some merit, I just haven’t been able to figure it out. It’s like when you eat something you’ve never eaten before. It tastes good, but you have no idea what you’re eating so you’re apprehensive about continuing to consume it until you know just what’s in it. Well, he wrote back. He wrote back to tell me he didn’t have time to write back! A generous gesture. As he began his reply to me, he was apologizing for not being able to answer my questions because he was so busy with exams. (at this point, I cleverly deduced that he was a student ). As I was reading, I was thinking to myself, with the time it took to write the apology he could have written a proper reply. But I know what exams are like. It’s easier to write “I’m sorry” which takes little brain power, than to formulate a reply that explains a theory that may very well be unexplainable with simple text.
But, at some point, he decided that he WOULD answer my question. I am thinking, well…so much for exams! I was really pleased that he took the time to attempt to quell my curiosity. Sadly I find myself still needing to form an appropriate example in my mind to make his theory make sense. I haven’t given up hope yet….like I said, it tastes good, I just need to figure out what’s in it.
Anyway, the test I took.
One of those little “personality” jobbies that ends with the epiphany of “this is who you love, this is who you can’t have, this is what song describes this feature of your personality”. I place little credence in these tests, again because they are ambiguous and silly, but they are still fun. So, now I know who I love (hmm, good thing I know this now, I was really wondering who it could be!). And I know what song describes him best…etc etc.
Okay, now for the hypocritical part of the program.
According to this test, Billy Joel’s “Piano Man” is the song the describes how I feel about life. At first I chuckled to myself as I imagined that my whole foundation of life was based on “making love to my tonic and gin”. But then I started to really think about the song and what Billy had to say in it. The Piano Man is the entertainer that is looked upon to solve the problems of his audience. He is the one that sets the mood, and maintains the mood. It’s not his Piano playing that does this. It’s who he is. I think I do look at life this way.
We can’t go through life alone. We look to each other to make us feel alright. And, even if this is where we don’t really want to be, this is where we are, and this is where we make the best of it. Suddenly, I am compelled to share this song with you. I’m sure we all know it, we’ve heard it a kazillion times – but maybe you can read it here, for the first time, as if it were a template for how we perceive life. Now, before you get all down in the mouth about this being a depressing idea, think about what Billy is really saying. He talks about people who seem unhappy and come to a bar for a break from loneliness. But maybe that’s not what this is really about. Maybe this bar of Billy’s is just a metaphor for the places we go in life, the mental places, not the physical ones, to find the togetherness that makes us humans. I think it’s a comfort song, a reassurance that when we seek out company, it’s alright. It’s okay to want to be with others, even if they’re strangers, and even they only exist in our minds.
The Piano Man It's nine o'clock on a Saturday
The regular crowd shuffles in
There's an old man sitting next to me
Makin' love to his tonic and gin
He says, "Son, can you play me a melody?
I'm not really sure how it goes
But it's sad and it's sweet and I knew it complete
When I wore a younger man's clothes"La la la, de de daLa la, de de da da da
Chorus
Sing us a song, you're the piano man
Sing us a song tonight
Well, we're all in the mood for a melody
And you've got us feelin' alrightNow John at the bar is a friend of mine
He gets me my drinks for free
And he's quick with a joke or to light up your smoke
But there's someplace that he'd rather be
He says, "Bill, I believe this is killing me.
"As the smile ran away from his face"
Well I'm sure that I could be a movie star
If I could get out of this place"Oh, la la la, de de daLa la, de de da da da"
Now Paul is a real estate novelist
Who never had time for a wife
And he's talkin' with Davy who's still in the navy
And probably will be for life
And the waitress is practicing politics
As the businessmen slowly get stoned
Yes, they're sharing a drink they call loneliness
But it's better than drinkin' aloneChorus
It's a pretty good crowd for a Saturday
And the manager gives me a smile
'Cause he knows that it's me they've been comin' to see
To forget about life for a while
And the piano, it sounds like a carnival
And the microphone smells like a beer
And they sit at the bar and put bread in my jar
And say, "Man, what are you doin' here?"Oh, la la la, de de daLa la, de de da da da
