Episode 105 - An Elephant Makes Love to A Pig
Cast
Eric Cartman
Stan Marsh
Kyle Boslofski
Kenny McKormik
Ms. Crabtree
Mr. Garrison
Mr. Hat
Pip
Terrence
Shelly
Jesus
Dr. Moreau
Chef
Elton John
Jimbo
Officer Barbrady
Randy Marsh
Mrs. Marsh
An elephant
Fluffy
Cameo Appearance by Sparky
[Bus Stop]
Cartman: Hey Stan, where'd you get that black eye?
Stan: Nothing, I mean, I mean, nowhere.
Cartman: Your sister beat you up again, huh?
Stan: No!
Cartman: Ehe, you know, heh, your sister kicked your ass.
Stan: She's just pissed off 'cause she got headgear at the dentist. She's taking it out on me.
Kyle: Yeh, but that sucks you get your butt kicked by a girl, Stan.
Cartman: I would never let a woman kick my ass. If she tried anything, I'd be like: hey, you get your bitch ass back in the kitchen
and make me some pie!
Stan: My parents don't even believe that she beats me up. They think she's all innocent and sweet, but I know that she's an evil
bitch!
Cartman: Be a man Stan. Say, "Heyy woman, ee, ee, you shut your mouth and make babies."
Stan: Hey Kyle, what's that
elephant doing?
Pan out to shot of huge elephant.
Kyle: You mean this one?
Stan: Yeh.
Kyle: He's my new pet elephant.
Stan: Whoa dude! Where'd you get a pet elephant?
Kyle: I got it mail ordered from Africa. The ad said it would take 4 to 6 weeks, but it only took three.
Stan: Wow, that's cool!
Kyle: No it's not cool! My mom won't let me keep him in the house. She says he's too big, and that his poop is bigger than our
couch.
Cartman: That's why my mom got me a pot-bellied pig. Cause its poop is small.
Kenny: Hey you guys, I talked to Garrison and he told me they're like the same.
Stan: Well yeh, but pigs aren't
smart like elephants.
The bus pulls up.
Ms. Crabtree: Hey. Wait a minute. What is that thing?
Kyle: Uh, oh, this, this is, the new retarded kid.
Ms. Crabtree: Oh, I'm sorry
little girl. But you still can't get on. You have to take the special ed
bus.
Shot of retarded kid bus.
[Retarded noises]
Kyle: Boy, it looks like you're
not welcome anywhere elephant. See ya.
The boys get on the bus.
Cartman: If a woman ever gave me crap, I'd say, "Hey, you go do my laundry and ÿ."
Ms. Crabtree: SIT DOWN KID!!!
Cartman: Yes ma'am.
[Mr. Garrison's Classroom]
Mr. Garrison: And now children, our friend Mr. Hat is going to tell us all about genetic engineering.
Mr. Hat: That's right Mr. Garrison, genetic engineering is an exciting new science. You can splice the DNA from some animals, and
make them better.
Kyle: Mr. Garrison?
Mr. Garrison: Yes Kyle.
Kyle: With genetic engineering, can you make an elephant smaller?
Mr. Garrison: Well, uh, ye, yes, I suppose you could. You could, splice elephant genes with a dog, or cat, or a, pot-bellied pig
genes.
Kyle: That's it. I'm going to combine my elephant with a pot-bellied pig and makeÿpot-bellied elephants.
Class: [Gasp]
Kyle: They'd be smart like elephants, but small like pigs.
Stan: That'd be cool!
Girl: I want a pot-bellied elephant.
Pip: Yes, I'll pay fifty dollars for one.
Terrence: That's stupid.
Kyle: Shut up Terrence, we can gentical engineer anything we want.
Terrence: Oh yeh, I bet I can gentically clone a whole human being before you crossbreed and elephant and a pig.
Kyle: I'll bet you can't.
Terrence: Watch me plebian.
Mr. Garrison: Well, spank my ass and call me Charlie. Isn't this exciting, two a-plus students in a cloning war.
Mr. Hat: Yes Mr. Garrison, genetic engineering lets us correct God's horrible, horrible mistakes, like German people.
Mr. Garrison: You know, you boys might want to visit the Genetic Engineering Ranch outside of town for some help. And you could
both use this for your science fair projects next month.
Kyle: Genetic Engineering Ranch! Sweet!
Stan: Wait, wait. We still need a pig.
Kyle: We can use Cartman's pig.
Cartman: Ehh, you leave Fluffy out of this.
Kyle: We're not gonna hurt her, we just need some of her blood.
Cartman: You're not using any of Fluffy's blood, or else I'll kick you in the nuts. Kyle, Kyle no!
Mr. Garrison: Uh, uh, Stanley, can I talk to you for a minute?
Stan: Ok.
Mr. Garrison: I couldn't help but notice that black eye you have. Are there problems at home?
Stan: [Despondantly]Yes.
Mr. Garrison: Oh dear. Here
Stanley, sit down, have some cocoa, and tell your friend Mr. Hat all about
it.
Stan sits down.
Mr. Hat: I'm your friend, Mr. Hat, Stan. You can tell me anything. Now, who hits you, is it your father or your mother?
Stan: Oh, neither. It's my sister.
Mr. Garrison: Your sister?!? Oh for Pete's sake, don't be such a little wuss. Stop wasting Mr. Hat's time with pansy little foo-foo
problems, and, give me back
my cocoa!
[Stan's house]
TV Voice: Let's open the phone lines back up for some questionsÿ.
Shelly: Hey.
Robert: Yeh, is this Jesus?
Jesus: Yes, my son.
Stan: Hi Shelly.
Shelly: Are you looking at my headgear?
Stan: Headgear? What headgear?
Shelly: Are you looking at my headgear?
Stan: Oh, gosh, I didn't really notice.
Shelly: You little liar.
Stan: No, I think it looks terrific.
It matches yourÿAHHHHH!
Shelly proceeds to beat the living hell out of Stan.
Shelly throws Stan down the stairs.
Shelly drops the TV on Stan's
head.
Stan: Ah, ah, ah.
[Outside Stan's house]
Kyle: Ready to go Stan?
Stan: Go where?
Kyle: To the Genetical Engineering Ranch.
Kyle: We got Cartman's pig so we can splice it's genes with my elephant.
Cartman: Nobody's splicin' nothing
from Fluffy!
Zoom in to Shelly's face in
the window
Shelly: I swear I'm gonna kill you Stan!
Kyle: Why's your sister so mean to you dude?
Cartman: Yeh, if some sissy chick tried to kick my ass, I'd be all like, "Hey, listen, missy, eh, yewhy don't you go knit me sweater
before I slap you in the face!"
Zoom in to Shelly's face in
the window
Shelly: Who said that?
[Outside the gates of the South Park Genetic Engineering Ranch]
Kyle: This must be it.
Cartman: Yeh, looks like nobody's home. Guess we should come back some other time.
Kyle: No Cartman, we're going in there and splicing Fluffy and my elephant together.
Cartman: It's ok Fluffy, I won't let them hurt you.
Kyle: It's just a stupid pig.
Stan: Yeh, quit being such a baby.
Cartman: Baby?!? Well, at least I don't get my ass kicked by a girl!
Stan: At least I'm not a little pig f%$%#$!
Cartman: Hey! I'm taking my pig andÿScrew you guys! I'm going home! This whole idea's stupid anyway.
Kyle: What the hell would you know you fat sweaty Mongoloid, you never get higher than a 'D'!
Cartman: Hey! Why don't you go back to San Fransisco with the rest of the Jews?!?
Kyle: There's no Jews in San Fransisco, you retard!
Cartman: I'll kick you in the nuts!
Moreau: Can I help you?
Kenny pulls his hood closed
Kenny: Mmmmmm!
Kyle: Uhÿyehÿwe want to crossbreed an elephant with a pig.
Moreau: Brilliant idea, huge elephant-sized pigs.
Kyle: No, no, no. We want to make little pot-bellied elephants that people can keep in their houses as pets.
Moreau: Ohh, that's an even
better idea. Come on in.
[Inside the South Park Genetic Engineering Ranch]
Moreau: I'm so pleased that you children are interested in genetic engineering.
Cartman: Eh, it's ok Fluffy, nobody's going to hurt you.
Moreau: It's thanks to the wonders of genetic engineering that soon there will be an end to hunger, disease, pollution, even war. I
have created things that will change the world for the better. For instance, here is a monkey with four asses.
Monkey: Mhhh.
Kyle: How does that make the world better?
Moreau: And here, of course, is my four assed ostrich. And my four assed mongoose.
Stan: Do you have anything besides just animals with four asses?
Moreau: Oh, uh, I suppose so uh. Oh yes, over here. Here I have rats splice with ducks, and gorillas spliced with mosquitos, and
here I have rabbits spliced with fish to make little, bunny fish.
Cartman: Heyyy, these bunny ears are tied on with little strings.
Moreau: And over here, swiss cheese spliced with chalk, and a beard.
Kyle: Well, what about our pot-bellied elephant?
Moreau: Oh. Well I'm sorry children, but, pig and elephant DNA just won't splice. Haven't you ever heard that song by 'Loverboy'?
Stan: Which song is that?
Zoom in to Moreau dancing and
singing
Moreau: Diindoon - pig and elephant DNA just won't splice!
Moreau: Although, maybe I could help you add a few asses to that swine of yours.
Cartman: You can keep your hands off of Fluffy's ass!
Moreau: You know, it's amazing what we can do with a little blood sample these days.
Stan: Ow!
Moreau: Hmm? What? Oh, excuse me.
Kyle: Wait, what are you taking Stan's blood for?
Moreau: Oh, pardon me, I tripped. Could I have some hair please?
Kyle: Watch out Stan! Genetic engineers are crazy.
Cartman: Come on Fluffy!
[Fluffy Squealing]
[Cut to Commerical]
[Inside the Cafeteria]
Kid 1: This gas is just hurting my ass.
Kid 2: Yahh, that's pretty fresh. Oooh.
Cartman: I sure am hungry.
Pip: Ello gentlemen, any of you blokes know what's for lunch today?
Pip: Lunchy munchies, hmmm?
Cartman: Go away Pip, nobody likes you!
Kyle: Yeh, what kind of name is Pip anyway?!?
Pip: Well, my father's family name being Pilip, and my Christian name being Phillip, my infant tongueÿ.
Cartman: God Damnit, would you shut the hell up!?! Nobody gives a rat's ass.
Stan: Yeh, go away Pip.
Pip: Right-O.
Pip walks off
Cartman: Dah, French people
piss me off.
Terrence and Co approach
Terrence: Hey dumb asses. You morons give up on your stupid science fair project yet?
Kyle: No! We're already halfway done.
Terrence: Halfway? Then all you've got is a stupid pig.
Bully 1: Yeh, prolly a gay pig too.
Bully 2: Stupid gay pig.
Kyle: It's more than you've got!
Terrence: Wronng. We've already
got our human clone well under way.
One of the bullies pulls a foot
out of a bag.
Kyle: Oh my God! They cloned
a foot.
Foot kicks Cartman in the face
Cartman: Hey! Hey! I'll kick
your ass!
Cartman kicks foot away
Foot lands in Pip's lunch tray
Pip: Ooohhooo!
Terrence: By Friday, we're gonna
clone a whole human being. Good luck with your stupid little pig.
Boys go to get their lunch
Chef: Hello there children.
Kyle: Hey Chef.
Chef: How you doin'?
Boys: Bad.
Chef: Why bad?
Kyle: We need to genetically engineer our pig and an elephant, but their genes won't splice.
Chef: Ahhhh, of course their genes won't splice children. Haven't you ever heard that song by 'Loverboy'?
Chef: Dooodnnndoodnn - A pig and an elephant DNA just won'tÿ.
Chef: A pig-elephant. Say, now that's not a bad idea.
Kyle: I told you guys.
Chef: Imagine, a pint sized elephant that you could keep in the house. Children, we could make a fortune with this.
Kyle: You hear that dudes? We'll be rich.
Chef: Forget about all that genetic engineering whoos-a-fudge. If you want to combine a pig and an elephant, just get them to make
sweeet love.
Cartman: Whaaat?!?
Stan: I don't think an elephant would make love to a pig.
Cartman: I don't think my pig would want to make love to that stupid elephant.
Chef: Sure they would. But you're gonna have to get 'em in the mood.
Stan: So how do we do that?
Chef: Do what I do, get 'em
goood and drunk.
[At the bus stop]
Boys get off the bus
Stan: Hey uh, you guys want to come over to my house?
Kyle: We've got work to do Stan, I think it takes a while for an elephant to get drunk.
Chef: Really, you, you guys don't want to come over for just a little bit?
Cartman: Why? Is your sister gonna kick your ass again?
Stan: Shut up Cartman!
Kenny: Or are you gonna feather your hair?
Kyle: Yeh Stan, she's just a girl.
Cartman: Yeh, if some girl tried to kick my ass, I'd be like, "hey, why don't you stop dressin' me up like a mailman, annnd making
me dance for you while you go and smoke crack in your bedroom and have sex with some guy I don't even know, on my dad's bed!"
Stan: Cartman?!? What the hell are you talking about?!?
Cartman: I'm just saying you're just a little wuss, that's all.
Kyle: Stan, you can use family love as a weapon against Shelly. The next time she's gonna kick your ass, just tell her, "Shelly,
you're my sister, and I love you."
Kenny: And I want to take off your bra.
Stan: Sick dude, she's my sister.
Kyle: Try it. We'll see you in a while, we got to go get Cartman's pig.
Cartman: No, you don't gotta get Cartman's pig! You leave Fluffy out of this!
Kyle: Come on Kenny.
Cartman: Kyle no, seriously. No f'n' elephant is going to make love to my Fluffy, IÿKyle, I will kick you in the nnnnuts.
Stan: Crap.
[Stan's house]
Stan sneaks through the front
door
TV Voice: And now back to Jesus and Pals on South Park Public Accessÿ.
Shelly: Are you staring at my neckbrace?
Stan: No, I mean, yes, I mean, what neckbrace?
Shelly: Shelly, before you beat
my face into a bloody pulp again, I just want you to knowÿthat you're
my sister, and I love you.
Shelly smiles, Stan smiles,
it looks like she's gonna let him goÿ
Stan: No. Ahh! Someday, Shelly, I'm gonna be bigger than you, and you're gonna wish you'd never done any of this to me.
Shelly: You'll never be bigger
than me Stan. Never!
[Inside the South Park Genetic Engineering Ranch]
Moreau: Beautiful, it's absolutely beautiful.
Moreau: My son, I think we've finally done it.
Terrence: Yes, we have dad. My very own human clone.
Bully 1: Hopefully not a gay clone.
Bully 2: Yeh, that was stupid.
Bully 1: Stupid.
Bully 2: That was stupid.
[Out in the hills somewhere]
Kyle is pumping a keg that the
elephant is drinking from.
Kyle: Come on elephant, keep drinking.
Stan: Damn, I wonder how drunk
he needs to be to make sweet love to the pig.
Shot of Fluffy drinking from
a trough labeled "BEER"
Kyle: Damn it! This is never gonna work.
Chef: Hello children. I thought I'd check and see how our little entreprenural venture is going.
Kyle: Rotten, they're both really drunk, but the won't have sex.
Chef: Ohh, children, you just can't stick a drunk pig with a drunk elephant, and, and, expect them to do the matress mambo. You
need to set the mood. Let me
show you boys what I'm talking about.
Chef goes over to boombox with
a mic
Chef: [Singing] Tonight is a-right for love, you know I, want to touch you where the lights don't go. Tonight is a-right for love, love
gravay.
Chef: Expressing love so sweet. I want to, keep you burning like a dog in heat. Tonight is a-right for love, love graaavaaay. Ladies
and gentlemen, Mr. Elton John.
Enter Elton John
Elton: With youuuu tonight,
ohhhh it's a-right. Ooooh tonight is right for love, love gravaya.
Intermingled shots of Fluffy
and elephant getting interested.
Chef: Thank you Elton. Tonight
is right for love, love graaavaaaaaay.
Elephant is about to mount Fluffy
Kyle: Hey look! It's working.
Chef: Now children, gather around, and watch the wonders of life. The beauty of Mother Nature.
Stan: Ahh, sick!
Cartman: Fluffy!
Chef: Hmm, now I know how all
those white women must have felt.
[Fluffy Squealing]
[Cut to Commerical]
[Inside the South Park Genetic Engineering Ranch]
Moreau: How luscious. Our creature has come to fruition boys.
Terrence: Dad, you're the best.
Moreau: Oh my God! He only has
one ass. He's of no use to me, I'll have to burn the room.
Big Stan breaks out of "womb"
Moreau: Oh no, this entire expriment is turning out very bad.
Big Stan: Me bad??
Big Stan throws four-assed frog
against wall, killing it.
Moreau: Eeegads, he's out of control. We'll have to destroy him.
Terrence: But he's our science fair project!
Big Stan: Uhhh, me baad, aba-ba-chewy-chomp.
Moreau: He's too dangerous son.
Terrence: But dad! I want a human clone.
Moreau: Son, no.
Big Stan jumps through window
Moreau: Oh son, you've made a horrible mistake. You've put all the people of South Park in jeopardy.
Terrence: They're all stupid anyway. Come on guys, let's go.
Bully 1: Yehh, they're all gay.
[Back on the Hill]
Shot of Fluffy and elephant
sleeping together
Kyle: Aren't they ever gonna wake up?
Chef: Oh, they will. It's gonna be one ugly site.
Kyle: I thought you said the wonder of Mother Nature was a beautiful thing.
Stan: Yeh, when does Mother Nature go from beautiful to ugly.
Chef: Usually about 9:30 in
the morning, children.
Elephant begins to wake up
Chef: Uh oh, here we go.
Elephant looks down at Fluffy
with surprise
Chef: Yehhh, there's nothing
worse than getting all drunk and waking up the next morning next to a pig.
Fluffy looks up at elephant,
begins crying
Chef: Or a big fat elephant.
Kyle: Hey, how do we know if she's pregnant?
Chef: Well boys, we might not know that for a couple of days.
Kyle: Couple of days? But Terrence is going to have his human clone by tomorrow.
Cartman: Well, good job Einstein,
why don't we just build a rocket in the meantime?
Kyle punches Cartman
Cartman: Hey!
Moreau approaches
Moreau: Oh thank Buddah I found you boys. You must tell me, have you seen anything odd lately?
Stan: Uh, we saw an elephant have sex with a pig.
Moreau: No, no, I said odd.
Chef: Hey, you're that crazy cracker from up on the hill.
Moreau: Sir, if making mutant animals spliced with humans is crazyÿthenÿuhhhhhÿhmmmÿoh, nevermind. I'm afraid there's been a
bit of an incident at the ranch. You see, I've created a large mutant clone of that little boy there, and he's broken free.
Kenny: A big mutant Stan?!?
Stan: A big mutant version of me?
Kyle: Is he bigger than a regular clone?
Moreau: He's terribly dangerous.
His brain is identical to yours. I need you to help me find him.
[Downtown South Park]
Big Stan is wreaking havoc on the town
People are running in fear
Big Stan has a car in one hand, he's destroying it
Big Stan tosses car aside effortlessly
Big Stan: Ah chewy-chewy-chomp.
Mr. Garrison: Stan, are you wearing a different hat?
Big Stan: Uhhhyahhuhhh.
Big Stan picks up Mr. Garrison
and begins beating him against the ground
Mr. Garrison: Hey, I know a
certain young man who's itching for a detention.
Big Stan throws Mr. Garrison
aside
Mr. Garrison: Ahhhhhh!
Mr. Garrison flies through Jimbo's
Guns window
[Boys in Downtown South Park]
Kyle: How big do you think he is?
Stan: I bet he weighs four hundred pounds.
Kyle: Come on Stan, don't you even know where you would go?
Kenny: Oh my God, what's he doin'?
Stan: Oh my God!
Townsman: Ahhhh!
Big Stan is running by with
two people in his arms
[Newscaster on TV]
Tom: It appears that the horrible, destructive creature is actually eight-year old Stan Marsh of South Park.
Tom: When asked why he was wreaking so much havoc on his home town, the little boy replies simply, "Me Stan, ba-chomp,
ba-chewy-chomp, ba-chewy-chomp. Back to you in the studio.
TV Newscaster: Thank's Tom, police are requesting that if you see this little eight-year old boy you immediately kill him and burn his
body. That's all for now.
TV Voice: Now back to Jesus
and Pals.
[On the set of Jesus and Pals]
Jesus: Yea, the way is paved
with gold for ye who seek truth andÿ.
Big Stan breaks through wall
on set of show
Big Stan: Ba-ba-chomp-ba-chewy-chewy-chomp-ahhh.
Jesus: Jesus!
Big Stan: its-to-the-left-mayoueyea.
[On the streets of South Park]
Officer Barbrady is directing
traffic
Stan: Officer Barbrady, my evil genetic clone is destroying the town. We have to find him.
Officer Barbrady: You boys have been watching the "X-Files" too much, there's no such thing as genetic clone -
Big Stan: Ahhhh
Big Stan grabs Officer Barbrady
and throws him into nearby pond
Officer Barbrady: whoa
Officer Barbrady: Listen, uh, you kids go on home, there's nothing to see here.
Kyle: Come on, let's go!
Uncle Jimbo approaches
Uncle Jimbo: There you are! Stanley, you tore up my entire gun shop, you better have a good explanation for this mister!
Stan: It wasn't me Uncle Jimbo,
it was my evil genetic clone.
Mr. Garrison approaches, and
he looks like hell
Mr. Garrison: Stanley, what the hell has gotten in to you?!? You have got severe lunch room duty mister!
Uncle Jimbo: I'm gonna go have a word with your father Stanley.
Mr. Garrison: Yeh, you wait 'til your father hears about this.
Kyle: Wait, Stan, there he goes.
Stan: Stop!
Big Stan: Ahhh, ba-ba-chomp.
Kyle: He recognizes you dude.
Stan: That's good, that's good
dude. Just calm down.
Big Stan is now seated in the
road.
Big Stan: Ba-chomp, eh mee ahh jaran.
Kyle: What should we do with him?
Stan: Stan, how would you like to go home and meet your sister?
Big Stan: Ahhhh, yehhh.
[Outside Stan's house]
The boys and Big Stan approach
the front door. Sparky can be seen off to the side.
Stan: So remember, Shelly's the one with the big wire coming out of her mouth and a metal plate on her back. When you see
Shelly, kick her ass. Shelly bad, Shelly very bad.
Big Stan: Me bad??
Stan: No! Shelly bad, you good.
Big Stan proceeds to destroy
the house
Stan: He's tearing up the house,
stop him!
Big Stan is hitting a chair against the ground
Kenny runs towards Big Stan
The chair knocks Kenny into the microwave in the kitchen
The microwave starts up, cooking
Kenny
Stan: Come on dudes.
All the kids run at Big Stan,
he knocks each one aside.
Big Stan: Ah.
Shelly: What the hell do you want.
Big Stan: Chewy-chewy-chomp.
Shelly head butts Big Stan onto
the ground
Big Stan: Ahhh. Uhhh.
Dr. Moreau enters
Moreau: Boys. Boys, I'm lusciously
sorry for everything.
Terrence and Co approach
Terrence: Hey, they've got our clone. He belongs to us.
Moreau: No son, this beast is a disgrace to genetic engineers everywhere. Boys, I'm sorry I've caused you suchÿinconvenience. I
tried to play God, and I failed.
Dr. Moreau shoots Big Stan through
the head
Terrence: Daddy! Nooooo!
Moreau: All I ever wanted was to genetically engineer something useful, but I failed. Perhaps we shouldn't be toying with God's
creations. Perhaps we should just leave nature alone, to its simple one assed schematics.
Terrence: You cheating bastards. This isn't over, just wait until tomorrow.
Kyle: Oh my God, they killed
Kenny! You bastard!
Stan's parents drive up
Stan: Mom and dad are home. My house is a disaster, you guy, you guys have got to help me.
Cartman: I ain't helpin' crap! I want to eat some pahy.
Stan: You can't just leave me here alone.
Cartman: Oh yeh, watch me.
Kyle: Yeh Stan, we have to go find out if Cartman's pig is pregnant or not. See ya.
Stan: Thanks a lot.
The other boys leave
Shelly: Ohh boy, you are gonna
get it now.
Jimbo and Mr. Garrison are shown
outside, talking to Stan's parents
Stan: It isn't fair! Everybody hates me! The whole town wants me killed! Mom and dad are gonna send me away! I don't want to be
sent away! I want to stay here!
Eehhhehehe!
Stan's parents enter the front
door.
Randy: Stanley, what, what in God's name have you been doing?
Mrs. Marsh: Everybody in town is upset with you young man. What's going on? Are you on drugs?
Shelly: It's not Stan's fault.
Randy: Huh?
Shelly: It wasn't Stan, he wasÿit was just me the whole time.
Randy: Oh, well Stan, we're uh, we're sorry we jumped to conlusions.
Mrs. Marsh: Oh honey, please forgive us son.
Stan: Shelly, you, you saved my life. And yet, you've done so much more than that. Today you've taught me the meaning of family.
Sure, families don't always
get along, but when the forces of evil descend upon us, we conquer them,
by sticking together.
Shelly begins beating the crap
out of Stan.
Stan: Uh, ahh, uhhh.
Shelly takes a lawnmower to
Stan's face, as rats drag away Kenny's charred corpse
[Cut to Commerical]
[Inside Mr. Garrison's Class]
Mr. Garrison: Everyone, let's
give Casey and his weed a big hand.
One kid claps (Clyde)
Mr. Garrison: Ok Kyle, we're ready to see your science project.
Kyle: Well, our pig hasn't given birth yet, but she should anytime now.
Mr. Garrison: Oh, well then I guess you get an 'F'. Ok Terrence, I know the class can hardly wait to see your science fair project.
Terrence: Thank you Mr. Garrison. Boys, Mr. Garrison, fellow students, for our science fair project Bill Fosey and I have spawned a
creature genetically far superior
to man. I present to you, the five-assed monkey.
Shot of Monkey with five asses
Monkey: Ahhheh.
Mr. Garrison: Oh, Mr. Hat, isn't it beautiful?
Stan: Wait, wait, the pig just gave birth. It, it had a baby!
Kid 1: It had a baby?!?
Kid 2: Oh wow!
Kid 3: What's it look like?
Kyle: Does it look like a pig, or an elephant?
Shot of pig that looks like, wellÿ
Cartman: Hey, it kind of looks like Mr. Garrison.
Mr. Garrison: Ohh, uh, gee, isn't that an amazing coincidence? Hmm, what are the odds of that?
Stan,Kyle: Hmmm.
Mr. Garrison: You boys get first prize.
Cartman: That'll do pig.
(END)