Mageman's Digidating Service - A guestfic by Warrior Saturn.

    location: a small pocket of subspace.
    time of day: unknown
    day of week: unknown
    subject: Mageman, the owner of the digidating service.

Mageman *is seated behind a computer terminal* "Damn. Damn, damn, damn! All this is wrong. This is so totally wrong."

Yolei *walks in* "What's so wrong about it?"

MM: "I'm getting e-mails from people who want to see digidestined dating other digidestined, not them dating the digidestined of their choice, and when it's that it has a tendency to be yaoi or yuri in nature."

Yolei: "So what are you doing?"

MM: "I'm tearing the whole thing down... lock, stock, and homepage."

Yolei *sighs* "So in other words I'm never going to get chosen for a date."

MM: "Unless we can find somebody before I finish the undoable delete command.... looks like it."

Yolei *sighs again* "Oy vey."

    *A door appears on the wall, and this opens to reveal a rather tall young man clad in black and dark violet armor and clothing. The young man steps into the room, running his fingers through a waist length ponytail, which cascades back down into position over his cape. He smiles, his brown eyes twinkling, the light from the desklamp illuminating the cranberry and burgundy highlights in his bangs*

man: "Wow... so this is the digidating service."

MM: "And who would you be? I'm in the middle of something so it had better be important."

man: "I'm Warrior Saturn, and I'm interested in a date."

Yolei *blinks at the young man, then looks at MM, then back to the young man* "I'll go and get the other girls." *exits*

MM *looks up from his computer at WS* "Say, you look somewhat familiar... aren't you..."

WS *grins* "One of the guestwriters for the Queen of Swords? Yes, I am."

MM *sweatdrops* "Oooo-kay. I must be out of the loop. Who is the Queen of Swords?"

WS *sighs* "It's going to be a long day."

    .... Yolei has rounded up some of the digidestined girls, as well as a few of the boys, who want to see who may be dating the girls.

Matt *pokes head out of the room, then back in* "Hey, I know that guy... sort of."

Kari: "Is he cute?"

Matt *sweatdrops* "He's one of the more twisted fanfic authors out there. Don't know what he's doing here, though. Who would want to date him?"

    *all of the girls & guys look at Rika*

Rika: "What? Why the hell are you looking at me?!"

Mimi: "You have a match for personalities... headstrong, kinda rude at times, somewhat twisted..."

Zoe: "Plus you look like his type."

Rika *snarls* "You're not any help to *MY* cause!!"

Yolei *shrugs* "Well, we'll see who he chooses out of all of us, and then go from there."

Rika *sighs and walks towards the door* "If I come running back in here do me a favor and put me out of my misery."

Zoe *grins* "Will do."

    .... Saturn and Mageman have come to a decision reguarding the dating service. Saturn would get one date and then would be able to review the service's services. A favorable review would mean that Mageman would have to try harder to close down. An unfavorable review would mean that MM could do as he pleased, reguardless of what anybody else wanted.

WS: "Do we have a deal?" *holds out a hand to MM*

MM *nods* "Yes, we have a deal." *takes WS's hand and shakes it*

Rika *walks in* "So who has he chosen for his digi dream date?"

MM *arches eyebrow at Saturn* "Good question. Who are you going to choose? We have Mimi, Sora, Kari, Yolei, Rika, Jeri, and Zoe."

WS *ponders and looks at some profiles he pulled up on his palmtop* "All very good candidates. Some stronger in some aspects than others. It's going to be a tough decision."

    *Several minutes pass*

WS: "Any suggestions?"

Rika *is nearing the end of her patience* "Just hurry up and pick one! We don't have all bloody day ya know! Or are you just going to make us sit here and stew until we explode!"

MM *falls silent, as does the rest of the pocket dimension*

WS *ceases pondering and points to Rika* "..... her."

MM & Rika *blink* "Huh?"

WS *nods* "I want that girl." *is still pointing at Rika, who frowns and looks at the camera*

Rika: "If you even bloody think we're going to do a parody of that stupid and insipid sitcom you've got another thing coming!"

    *the other girls burst into the office and surround Rika*

Zoe: "Molto bene... we'll have to get you all dressed up for this dream date."

Mimi: "I know the perfect dress for you to wear. It's been sitting in your closet for months, and it'll look so cute on you."

Zoe: "I'll help with your hair."

Sora: "I'll be moral support."

Yolei: "I'll create a simulation of all dating possibilities and what could possibly go wrong on a date."

Kari: "I'll help to accessorize."

Rika *balls hands into fists and grumbles before screaming* "GET THE BLOODY HECK AWAY FROM ME!!" *runs out of the room and slams her door*

WS *watches the theatrics* "Wow... now I know why I want her as my dream date. Feisty."

all girls *sigh* "Oy vey."

Zoe: "Rika, you've been locked in that closet for half an hour now. Aren't you ever going to come out."

Rika *muffled* "No, now leave me alone! I don't want to go on this date!"

Yolei: "But Rika, it'll be fun. You'll get to have a wonderful dinner with a distinguished author and see the sights and walk under the stars. It'll be so romantic."

Rika *gagging sounds from the closet* "Yuck. I don't want any of that. And I'm not gonna dress up for this!"

Mimi *knocks on the door* "Rika Nonaka, you come out here right now before I call your mother."

    *a large exclamation point forms on the door. A moment later it opens, and a very angry Rika steps out*

Rika: "Ok Mimi, you win. I think I'd rather have you girls dressing me up for this than trusting my mom. She bought me a dress that had teddybears on it a while ago and I nearly barfed."

Mimi *nods and smiles* "Ok, you go and wash up and we'll pick out what you'll be wearing. Zoe, you're on shampoo and hair duty. Jeri, you're to help with her nails and makeup. Kari, fingernails and toenails. Yolei, you're going to help with choosing a dress. Sora, shoes."

Sora: "What are you going to do Mimi?"

Mimi *grins, bows head, and adjusts her hat* "I'm going to look for a decent themesong for Rika to walk out to."

all *saulte Mimi before wandering off to their appointed tasks*

WS *is being surrounded by a small army of digidestined boys* "What the hell gives?!"

Tai: "We're going to make sure you take good care of Rika on her date."

Takuya: "Plus you need to look extra special, since she *is* the daughter of a supermodel."

JP: "At least he's not taking Zoe out on a date. I'd have to fight him for her honor." *begins to daydream*

Koji: "Hate to burst your bubble, but he's twice your size, a little more than one and a half times your weight, and may be more powerful than us after beast spirit evolving."

JP *shudders* "Oh man."

WS: "Look, I can get dressed just fine by myself. I don't need the help of... *begins to count all of the digidestined boys, then stops* "Oh man, oh man, oh man..."

Henry: "Well, at least things couldn't get any worse."

Matt *sighs and watches from the sidelines* "You guys don't know him very well, do you. I actually worked with him on a Gourrigan's Island fic, and *that* was a traumatic experience."

WS *looks at Matt* "You fell into an LCL ocean to save Del while I was being held hostage with 2 other cast members. how was that traumatic?"

Matt *sighs and looks at his feet* "I'll tell you later. Guys, just steer clear of his closet... or at least the back of it."

Cody *walks out of WS' closet with a scared look on his face* "Now he tells me... there are whips and chains and...." *passes out*

Takuya: "Ok, everybody out of the pool."

*the boys leave WS alone in his room*

WS *sighs* "Well, at least I can figure out what to wear for this date in peace right now."

    *awkward silence*

WS *runs to the door and pulls it open* "Takuya, Koji, Matt, and Izzy... report front and center!"

    *four digidestined boys are suddenly in front of his door*

all: "You called."

WS: "I think it would be safer to have you guys here to help me choose what to wear than some of the others."

Takuya *smirks* "Shake it baby!"

    .... The digidestined boys and girls meet in the main office, all beaming with pride about their sudden makeovers for the soon to be dating couple. Mageman is also in the main office, anxiously awaiting the outcome of the night and what it could spell for the digidating service. The door to the girls' room opens first, and the girls spread out to allow Rika to enter.
 The boys gasp when they see Rika wearing a knee length black skirt, black knee socks, black sneakers, a black tank top underneath a gauzy black blouse. Rika sighs and shakes her head, her hair down and pulled back with a couple of black butterfly clips.

Takato: "Wow. Rika, you acutally look..."

Rika *glares* "Say it gogglehead and I'll make you regret it later!"

Henry *sighs* "Rika, you do know you're doing this for all of us."

Zoe: "She knows, so relax guys. Now, where is this Warrior Saturn?"

     The door to the boys room opens and a very nervous WS steps out.Gone is the armor and some of the darker clothes. Instead he's wearing black dress slacks, black dress shoes, a black leather belt, a blue dress shirt, a black and silver tie, and a black dress vest. Slung over his shoulder is a black sportcoat, and his hair is pulled back in four or five small braids.

WS *sighs* "This is embarrassing beyond belief."

Mimi *sudden shocked look. Pulls out boombox and starts playing Pink's 'Don't Let Me get Me'* "Almost forgot Rika's themesong."

Rika *looks at Mimi and glares* "If that's my themesong then I'm gonna puke! What about leather and lace?!"

Zoe: "Yuck. You like heavy metal?"

Rika *growls* "Yeah, I like heavy metal. It's better than this bubblegum..... whatever it is!"

MM *sighs and looks at WS* "Well, did your group come up with a theme for you?"

WS *smirks* "Nope. I only had 4 stick around long enough to help out with a few things."

Izzy: "But we found a suitable song in that time." *opens up his laptop and begins playing 'Catseye' by E*Rotic* "We figured this one would be a suitable song."

Rika *slowly steps towards WS* "Well, where are we going on this date?"

WS *shrugs* "Ramen sound good?"

Rika *nods* "Sure. Ramen sounds excellent right about now."

WS *looks at the others, grins, and snaps his fingers* "Shaboom!"

    *Rika and WS vanish in a puff of violet smoke*

MM *blinks* "Wow... what an exit. Anybody bug 'em for video and audio feed?"

Matt: "No need to. Takuya and Ryuu took off to spy on them."

all *sigh* "Oy vey."

MM *plunks down on a nearby couch and turns on the tv* "Well, we can at least watch their date and see how it goes."

    .... to be continued....