Across time and space, in Balamb Garden, people
were barely waking up. Selphie and Zell bounced out of bed, finding their
stocking stuffed with gifts, goodies, and things to keep them occupied
and out of trouble for a little while.
Half an hour after they had demolished the
contents of their stockings and devoured enough sugar to keep them hyper
for a couple of hours they bounced out into the hall in search of one another.
They passed each other in the hall, stopped, turned around, backtracked,
stopped again, and stared. Thirty seconds later both of them screamed loud
enough to wake the rest of Balamb Garden.
The screaming brought Squall, Rinoa, Quistis,
and Laguna running from their rooms. All four stopped at the ends of the
hall, looking at Selphie and Zell as well at each other.
"What’s going on here?” Squall demanded, still
shrugging into his jacket, “and who gave me Ward’s coat?”
“We’re pre-teens again!” Selphie and Zell
cried, clinging to each other. It was true, for they had retro aged to
nine year olds.
“And the rest of you are the same,” Laguna
sighed, looking at Squall, Rinoa, and Quistis, all of whom were twelve
year olds. “If this keeps up I’ll be changing diapers by the end of the
week.”
“How do you think *we* feel?!” Squall exclaimed,
“My clothes don’t fit any more!”
“But we’re tiny!” Selphie cried. “I don’t
wanna be tiny any more!”
Laguna and Quistis sighed. “What happened
to us?” Quistis asked, looking up at Laguna.
“Who knows,” Laguna shrugged, “for the moment
make the best of it and be kids again.”
Rinoa began to say something, but stopped.
Sure she had made a wish, but could even she, with her sorceress powers,
cause something like this to happen?
“C’mon Zell, dry your eyes,” Selphie was saying,
“we can put our ski clothes on and go build snowmen or go sledding or something.”
“I’ll come with you,” Squall said, zipping
up his jacket. “C’mon Rinoa, let’s go and play in the snow.”
Rinoa nodded and took Squall’s arm, and together
they walked towards the entrance with Selphie and Zell catching up with
them a moment later.
“Ok, hold still and smile for the camera.”
Celia fidgeted on the bed that fed into Washu’s
scanner. She wore a simple hospital gown for the procedure, her hair spread
out on the bed, framing her face.
“You guys wanna hurry up this up?” the vampyress
said plaintively, “the room’s freezing, not to mention I’m still damned
bloody cold!”
“It’ll be another couple of minutes,” Washu
said, her face glowing green from the reflected light of the monitors.
“We almost have enough data to know what’s wrong.”
“We already know what’s wrong,” Seifer said,
“Celia’s a kid again.”
“But we need to know what caused it so that
we can fix it,” Alex said, pouring over streams of readouts.
“I think we should be thankful we took the
early flight,” Irvine yawned, “Say Alex, mind if we make a dimension to
dimension call?
“Go ahead,” the mage replied, his attention
still on the data.
Irvine dialed the number he had for Balamb,
and the image of a girl with curly red hair appeared. The cowboy blinked
for a moment. “Sorry,” he said, scratching the back of his head, “wrong
number.”
He hung up, waited a moment, and called again.
The same girl appeared on the screen, only she wasn’t smiling but scowling.
Irvine turned to Alex and said, “Hey, either this number’s wrong or the
system’s defective because I keep getting a kid whenever I call home.”
Alex looked up at the girl, whose angry face
now filled the screen, and face faulted. “Irvine, that’s Tiskili. You know,
the girl that Tenal had a crush on.”
Irvine turned his attention back to the screen,
a sweat drop forming on his head when he saw the look on the girl’s face.
“Kili?”
“Irvine Logan Kinneas!” Kili snarled, using
Irvine’s middle name, “If you *EVER* hang up on me again without so much
as a hello, so help me I’ll feed you to my GF for a snack!”
Irvine blinked before saying, “What happened
to you? You look like a twelve year old.”
“We figured around thirteen,” Laguna said,
joining Kili on the camera, “but you were close.”
“Any idea of what caused this?” Alex asked,
stepping closer to the screen.
“Your guess is as good as mine. Temporal abnormality.
Warp in time and space, or just time. Some spell gone wrong.”
“Or the powers that be having a field day,”
Washu said, approaching the screen holding a stack of printouts. “According
to my preliminary scans of our resident realm dancing vampyress, the greater
powers of our two worlds decided to grant some Yuletide wishes in a rather
awkward way.”
“In plain English please,” Seifer said, scratching
his head.
“Some god or goddess turned our friends on
Terra young and set up something so that anyone phasing there would experience
the same thing,” Alex said, translating.
“Very good,” Washu said, patting Alex on the
head and giving him a cookie. “You speak fluent scienceese.”
“So if we hop to Terra to find Spike we’ll
wind up the same way,” Irvine observed.
“Good boy,” Washu said, giving Irvine a cookie
as well. “Now, for two cookies, will Celia have another age jump back to
infancy if she makes the jump again?”
There was silence for a few moments before
Seifer said, “No, she’ll remain like this since the retro aging has already
happened.”
“That is absolutely.... correct!” Washu said,
patting Seifer on the head and giving him two cookies.
“You guys are an embarrassment to be around,”
Celia said, tugging her jacket back on. “But we still have to find Spike
before he gets into too much trouble.”
“Spike get into trouble?” Alex chuckled, “He
just barely learned realm dancing. I’m sure he’s fine.”
Across the ocean of time and space, on Terra,
quite a distance from Balamb or any real civilization for that matter,
a younger looking Spike was just regaining consciousness after a few blind
jumps through time and space.
“Bloody hell,” he grumbled as he sat up. He
went silent, since the voice that came out of his mouth didn’t sound like
him. “Knickers,” he said, falling silent. “Shag, bloke, cripes, bloody
shagging hell!” he shouted before leaning back against a nearby tree. That
was when he noticed that his clothes were a lot looser on his body, and
his hands were a lot smaller. “What in the nine bloody hells happened to
me?”
“William,” an eerie voice said on the wind,
“William the Bloody.”
Spike looked around, trying to pinpoint where
the voice was coming from. “What the hell ya want?” he asked the wind,
which began to increase in strength.
“We want you William. We want all the powers
that you possess.”
“Powers? What bleedin’ powers you talking
about?! I’m me... I got no special powers.”
“You lie William. You have untold powers that
you still have yet to realize.”
Spike struggled to his feet, shielding his
face with one arm as he squinted into the wind and sun. ‘Thank the gods
and goddesses for that gem Celia gave me,’ he thought, drawing a short
sword from inside his coat, ‘And thank Alex for his gift to me.’ “Come
out and face me! FACE ME!!”
The breeze increased in intensity, forming
a cone of high velocity wind around him. “Come with us. Be with us. Give
your powers to us.”
Spike began to slash wildly, striking nothing
but thin air. The funnel began to spin in a counter clockwise direction,
sucking the air out and leaving a vacuum in its wake.
“Air... running out,” Spike gasped, “I may
be bloody dead, but even I need some air.”
“Soon you’ll be with us,” the voice said as
Spike neared a pond. “Then you’ll see just how happy you can be with us.”
Spike collapsed to his knees, releasing the
sword as his hands fell into mud to support him. He looked into the pond,
a little shocked to see a reflection, even more shocked that the reflection
was so young looking.
“Bleeding hell, what happened... to... me?”
he asked, his vision going black as unconsciousness washed over him again.
Childish giggling echoed on the breeze as
the winds died away, leaving the glade virtually undisturbed.
“We ready to go yet?” Seifer asked, pacing
around the lab.
“Almost,” Alex replied, tightening the straps
on a bag of Washu’s equipment. “You sure you want to do this Washu?”
“I doubt it will really affect me much,” Washu
replied, adjusting her goggles, “I am several thousand years old, after
all, and this is how I’ve looked for most of that time. Plus I have my
personal shield, so there won’t be much chance to change.”
“Can we just hurry up and go?” Celia asked
impatiently. “The sooner we hook up with the others and Washu gathers her
data the sooner we can get things back to normal.”
“Are all preparations made?” Washu asked,
taking out a clipboard. “Equipment?”
“Check,” Alex replied, hefting one of the
bags onto his back, “I think we have everything including a kitchen sink.”
“Hah hah,” Washu chuckled sarcastically, “weapons?”
“Check,” Seifer and Irvine said, checking
their weapons. They looked at each other before saying, “Just in case.”
“Teleporter / Realm Dancer?”
Celia downed an energy shake, belching up
a couple of bubbles before giving a thumbs up to everyone else. “Check.”
“Twisted genius. Ok... wait, that’s me, so
that’s a big check.”
“I guess that’s everything,” Celia said, moving
towards the large collection of equipment in the center of the lab.
“Have a safe trip,” Mrs. West said as Celia
began her teleport. “Hurry back.”
“We’ll try,” Washu said, bowing formally to
Alex’s parents.
“Love you mom, dad,” Alex said as a column
of blue light engulfed them. A second later the column vanished, leaving
a relatively empty lab behind.
“I just hope they’ll be all right,” Mrs. West
said, watching the last few sparkles from the teleport dissipate.
“They’ll be fine,” Mr. West said, holding
his wife. “They’re trained professionals after all.”
“Countdown to Terra barrier,” Celia said as
they slid through time and space, “Five.... four.... three... two.... one.
Terra barrier has been reached.”
“Brace yourselves for whatever happens,” Alex
said, his body beginning to glow.
“Amazing,” Washu said, her goggles beginning
to glow as screen after screen of data scrolled over the lenses. “The change
has begun.”
“This doesn’t hurt at all,” Irvine said as
his body began to glow as well. “Actually, it tickles a little bit.”
“We’ll be phasing out in ten seconds,” Celia
announced, “so hold on to whatever you value.”
“And the change is almost complete,” Washu
observed as Alex, Seifer, and Irvine, all three now glowing a brilliant
gold, began to physically retro age from twenty three years of age to thirteen
years of age.
“Phase out in three... two... one...”
Blinding sunlight reflecting off of fresh
snow greeted them as they appeared on Terra. Below them people played in
the snow or skied or slid on make - shift toboggans or build snowmen or
snow people.
“This is Balamb?” Seifer asked, gazing out
the warp bubble at the countryside below.
“Never saw snow here before,” Irvine commented,
“wonder who wished for it.”
“We’re heading in for a landing,” Celia said
as the bubble dipped towards the countryside. They skimmed over the ground
for a short distance, coming to a stop outside of Balamb Garden. The bubble
vanished, setting them in calf deep snow.
“Miss Washu, Mister Alex, Miss Celia, and
Seifer and Irvine,” Headmaster Cid greeted as he, Laguna, and Xu approached
the group.
“Mister Cid,” Washu said, bowing formally
to the group, “It’s a pleasure to be here.”
“We only wish it could be more of a social
visit and not an emergency call,” Laguna said, shaking Washu’s hand.
“It’s a double emergency,” Celia said, “Spike’s
missing, and could be in trouble since he’s still learning how to ‘port.”
“Where are the others?” Alex asked, looking
around in search of Squall and company. A snowball pasted him in the back
of the head, knocking his hat off. Snow slid down the back of his shirt
as he formed a fist. “Grrrrr.”
He turned around in time to see some spiky
blond hair duck behind a snowbank. “Never mind,” he said, smiling evilly
while walking towards the snowbank. “I think I found one of them.”
“We’ll cover you from the sides,” Irvine said
as he and Seifer circled around the snowbank on either side. Both scooped
up snow and rolled it into snowballs so that they’d be properly armed for
winter combat.
“I’ll cover the back,” Celia said, teleporting.
“Looks like there may be bloodshed,” Xu commented
as the four crept up on their prey.
“Or a white washing,” Washu said as four people
pounced on the snowbank. Screaming ensued as Zell and Selphie leapt over
the snowbank and retreated towards those standing in the courtyard.
“Outta the way!” Zell cried as a hail of snowballs
assaulted them, “Move it! Move it! MOVE IT!”
“Come back here, Chicken Wuss!” Seifer cried,
lobbing snowball after snowball at Zell. “Come here and face your punishment!”
“I don’t wanna!” Zell wailed, ducking behind
Cid, who blinked before getting a face full of snowball.
The area fell silent almost immediately, and
continued that way as Cid wiped off his face and glasses. He burst into
hearty laughter, which was a good sign that he wasn’t angry with them.
“Prepare for total annihilation,” Alex and
Celia said, leaping over the snowbank, their hands glowing blue with magical
power. “Blizzard...”
“Don’t do it,” Laguna and Xu said, waving
their hands at the pair in a vain attempt to get them to stop.
“Barrage!!”
The air was filled with snowballs almost immediately,
and everyone in their path wound up as an instant snow person. Several
seconds later Alex and Celia laid off to see their work, and both grinned
happily.
“Gotcha!” they said in unison, pointing at
the bunch of blinking snow people.
“I think you need a lesson in snowball fights,”
Cid smirked, shaking the snow off. He took a stone of summoning from his
coat and held it aloft. “Goddess of ice, in you we trust. Teach these students
a lesson with your gem dust.”
Celia and Alex looked at each other before
wincing. They had an idea of what was coming, but neither had ever seen
Cid in combat before.
“Shiva!!”
A blizzard tore through the area, centering
on a single point. At this point a portal opened, releasing a woman with
pale blue skin and silvery hair, dressed in blue and white clothes. In
her hand formed a gem of ice blue, and this began to shimmer.
“Did he say something about gem dust?” Alex
asked, growing pale.
‘Shiva’s attack is Diamond Dust,’ Alexander
said in his mind, ‘It’s a powerful blizzard attack.’
“What’s going to happen?” Celia asked.
Her answer came in the form of a concentrated
blizzard that covered her and Alex in three inches of snow in a matter
of seconds. Shiva blew a kiss before vanishing in a could of snowflakes,
leaving several stunned students and staff members to blink in awe.
“I think that answers our question all too
well,” Washu giggled, brushing off their heads. “What did you learn from
this?”
“Never snowball the headmaster,” Celia replied
through chattering teeth.
“And what else?”
“That Cid has a few tricks up his sleeve that
he never revealed to us,” Alex replied, his teeth also chattering.
“Very good. Now let’s go inside and get warmed
up,” the pink haired genius proclaimed, using a high powered hair dryer
to melt the mage and vampyress out of their snowy cocoons.
“We have hot chocolate,” Xu said cheerily,
“with cinnamon or marshmallows or whatever else you want.”
“Cookies?” Selphie asked, tugging on Xu’s
sleeve.
“I’m sure Lunch lady Doris and her crew could
whip some up if we don’t have any,” Cid said. He whistled loudly, and Meltdown
drove up on a forklift. “Meltdown here will see to all the equipment.”
“All right,” Washu said, hopping onto the
seat next to the mechanic. “I’ll just tag a ride and have cocoa in the
lab.”
“See you later Washu,” Alex waved as he ran
off to the cafeteria. As he passed Seifer he smacked him on the back. “Tag!”
he called, running past everyone, “You’re it!”
“Come back here Alex!” Seifer called as everyone
scrambled and scattered. “I hate being it!”
Twenty minutes later the cafeteria was filled
with the bustling of the lunch ladies and hyperactive activity of pre-teens.
On top of hot cocoa being served there were cookies, cakes, and sweets
galore, all home made.
“Eat hearty kids,” Doris said, setting another
tray of cookies on the table, “you’ll need to keep your strength up.”
“I’m amazed at just how quickly you were able
to set all of this up,” Irvine commented between bites of cookie, “what
were you before you became a lunch lady? A field general?”
“Close,” Doris chuckled. “To be quite honest
I was a samurai.”
The silence that followed was tangible. Selphie
finally piped up with, “You were samurai Lunch lady?”
Doris chuckled again. “I was kidding about
that. I worked as a short order cook for a while before Cid and Edea hired
me. Since then I’ve been giving the orders and keeping this place running
like a well oiled machine.”
“You gotta admit that having a samurai lunch
lady would be interesting,” Zell commented.
“Not to mention amusing,” Celia said, taking
a long drink from her mug of cocoa, “she could use a ladle as a deadly
weapon.”
“Well, at least I don’t have to fend off the
students on a daily basis,” Doris smiled.
“Except for Zell,” Seifer said, “he’s always
causing trouble.”
“Take that back Almasy,” Zell hissed, hopping
off of his chair.
“Bring it on, chicken wuss,” Seifer replied,
hopping off of his own chair to meet the challenge.
“Here we go again,” Rinoa sighed, brushing
her hair back from her face, “just once I’d like to get through a meal
without all the macho posing or world war three.”
Alex looked over at Selphie, who motioned
for him to tag Seifer and run. He nodded and gave a countdown. When he
reached one he smacked Seifer at the same time that Selphie smacked Zell.
“Tag!” they echoed, dashing towards the exit, “you’re both it!”
Seifer colored, since he had yet to get Alex
back for the first game of tag. Zell simply began running after the two,
narrowly avoiding Washu and Meltdown as they walked in.
“We miss much?” Washu asked as Seifer dashed
past her.
“Not really,” Rinoa replied, sliding off of
her chair, “just the second game of tag of the day.”
“So that was why Alex and Selphie nearly ran
us down,” Washu said as she took a seat. Doris set a cup of cocoa in front
of her, and the pink haired genius took a long drink before setting the
cup down. “Ahhhh... perfection.”
“I hope they don’t cause too much trouble,”
Meltdown said, “we have all of Washu’s equipment set up, but we’ll need...”
“Guinea pigs,” Washu said, acting as cute
as possible, “Who wants to be one?”
The table was empty in under five seconds
as everyone took off running. The swinging doors threatened to come unhinged
as a large group of hyperactive youths crashed through to escape a fate
worse than the dentist - being one of Washu’s test subjects.
“I think that could have gone better,” Meltdown
said as the doors came to a rest, one slightly askew.
“How so?” Washu asked, snatching a couple
of cookies from a plate and munching on them.
“Well, for starters, you never call a test
subject a guinea pig.”
“And what do you suggest?” a sexy female voice
said from beside him. The mechanic turned his head, expecting to find little
Washu next to him. What he found was Washu all right, but a very grown
up version. Washu batted her eyes at him. “You can call me Washu now,”
she purred, leaning closer to Meltdown, whose face was turning crimson
as his temperature shot through the roof.
The doors came off of their hinges as Meltdown
exited running, leaving Washu to wonder if her visual psychological tactics
(a.k.a. her sex appeal) needed some work.
“Doris,” she called, setting her elbows on
the table and resting her chin on her propped up hands. “Bring me a double
chocolate cocoa please. It’s going to be one of those days.”