Jared's Pick - Movie Reviews: Celebrity

Celebrity

As a rabid Woody Allen fan, it pains me to report that Celebrity is a second-rate effort from the master of modern psychoanalytic comedy. Those of us who follow Allen's work religiously know that half the fun of Allen's films is decoding how much of his own life he puts into them; for example, the brilliant Husbands and Wives chronicled the dissolution of marriage just as Allen's own marriage was breaking up. Deconstructing Harry, Allen's best comedy in years, was more overtly sexual, profane and violent than anything he had done previously, filled with bitter self-loathing and indictments of male predatory behavior that again, are likely drawn from Allen's own experience.

Celebrity ups the ante again, with a prostitute demonstrating proper technique on a banana, a spoiled child star trashing a hotel room and an uncomfortable menage a quatre, all used to comic effect. Seems that as Allen's life gets more chaotic, his movies do too. This could be used to advantage, but unfortunately Celebrity plays like an episode of Saturday Night live, a string of tangentially related sketches. Some are hilarious, most are just OK.

Most bizarre of all is the casting of Kenneth Branagh as Woody Allen. Instead of putting himself in front of the camera as usual, Allen lets Branagh do the neurotic, sex-crazed Jewish intellectual that Allen perfected years ago. To his credit, Branagh nails the Woody persona flat, with the verbal tics, nasal whine and gestures so perfect that you think you're watching Woody himself. But because Branagh does Woody so well, it makes you wonder - why didn't Allen just play the role himself? As I say, bizarre.

Branagh is Lee Simon, an unhappily married journalist who ditches his wife so that he can buy a sporty car, schmooze with models and generally make an idiot of himself in an effort to regain his youth. Like most middle-aged men who go through a mid-life crisis, he thinks he's missed out on opportunities by being married (read: hasn't slept with enough 23 year old models), and so alienates the people who care about him for immediate gratification. Although to be honest, I'd risk my career and relationships to sleep with Charlize Theron, (who plays a multi-orgasmic model) too.

Simon's ex-wife, played by the ever-so-talented Judy Davis, takes the opportunity of their divorce to recreate herself - exactly Simon's plan, but she is far more successful as a gossip show host than he is at desperately pitching his screenplay to everyone he meets. She makes the point that you can learn a lot about a culture from who they choose as their celebrities - what does it say about America that a philandering wacko like Allen who divorced his wife to marry his adopted daughter is celebrated? Oddly, Allen's absence from the film is all the more noticeable because of Branagh's dead-on portrayal of him - maybe that's the point, that celebrities are interchangeable.

Who knows? And frankly, who cares? It might be a more intriguing point if Celebrity was a great movie, but it's not, so it's not worth thinking too hard about. And for that matter, it's not essential viewing either, except for the pleasure of seeing a black and white film on the big screen for a change. There are enough comic vignettes and interesting insights into the cult of personality scattered throughout to make Celebrity watchable for die-hard Allen fans, but honestly - if you really want a dose of solid Allen, go see Antz.

- Jared O'Connor

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