Foot Steps

On the way to preschool,a doctor had left her stethoscope on the car seat, & her little girl picked it up & began playing with it. 'Be still my heart,' thought the doctor, 'my daughter wants to follow in my footsteps!' Then the child spoke into instrument:
"Welcome to McDonald's. May I take your order?

Oh boy children

Ever notice how a 4 year old's voice is louder than 200 adult voices?
Several years ago, I returned home from a trip just when a storm hit, with crashing thunder & severe lightning.
As I came into my bedroom about 2am, I find my two children in bed with my wife, Karey, apparently scared by the loud storm. I resigned myself to sleep in the guest bedroom that night.
The next day, I talked to the children, & explained that was OK to sleep with Mom when the storm was bad, but when I was expected home, please don't sleep with Mom that night.
They said OK.
After my next trip several weeks later, Karey & the children picked me up in the terminal at the appointed time. Since the plane was late everyone had come into the terminal to wait for my plane's arrival, along with hundreds of other folks waiting for their arriving passengers.
As I entered the waiting area, my son saw me, & came running shouting,
"Hi, Dad! I've got some good news!" As I waved back, I said loudly, "What's the good news?"
"Nobody slept with Mommy while you were away this time!" Alex shouted.
The airport became very quiet, as everyone in the waiting area looked at Alex, then turned to me, & then searched the rest of the area to see if they could figure out exactly who his Mom was.

Good Things

A little girl goes to the barber shop with her father. She stands next to the barber chair, while her dad gets his hair cut, eating a snack cake. The barber says to her, "Sweetheart, you're gonna get hair on your twinkie." She says, "Yes, I know. I'm gonna get boobs too."
GOOD THINGS COME TO THOSE WHO WAIT.......

Who I am

A certain little girl, when asked her name, she would reply, "I'm Mr. Sugarbrown's daughter." Her mother told her this was wrong, she must say, I'm Jane Sugarbrown."
The Vicar spoke to her in Sunday School, & said, "Aren't you Mr. Sugarbrown's daughter?"
She replied, "I thought I was, but mother says I'm not."

Girls and Boys

A little girl asked her mother, "Can I go outside & play with the boys?" Her mother replied, "No, you can't play with the boys, they're too rough." The little girl thought about it for a few moments and asked,
"If I can find a smooth one, can I play with him?"

Lords Prayer

A mother was teaching her 3-year-old the Lord's Prayer. For several evenings at bedtime she repeated it after her mother. One night she said she was ready to solo. The mother listened with pride as she carefully enunciated each word, right up to the end of the prayer. "Lead us not into temptation," she prayed, "but deliver us some E-mail,
Amen."

Cars

A blonde pushes her car into a gas station. She tells the mechanic, "It died." After he works on it for a few minutes, it's idling smoothly. She says, "What's the story?" He replies, "Just crap in the carburetor." She says, "How often do I have to do that?"

Travel through jokes or back to pick your own