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Some Funny Pick-Up Lines

1. Are you tired?.....Cuz you've been running through my mind all day.
________________________________________________________________ 2. I'm Irish. Do you have any Irish in you?...would you like some?
______________________________________________________________ 3. Did it hurt?....when you fell from heaven, did it hurt?
_________________________________________________________________________ 4. If you were juice you would be Very-Fine.
______________________________________________________________________________________ 5. The only problem with the alphabet is that U & I are not toghther.
____________________________________________________________________________________ 6. You must work at a bakery cuz you have great buns!
__________________________________________________________________________________ 7. The word of the day is legs...lets go back to my place and spread the word.
__________________________________________________________________________ 8. I lost my number...Can I have yours?
________________________________________________________________________________________________________ 9. Hi! would you like to come to the beautiful Islands of Hawaii with me? ....The Isle of Doyouwannalayme.?
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________ 10. Do you like math? Well, we could subtract the clothes, add positions,Divede the legs, and multiply!
______________________________________________________________________________________________ 11. Hey how about a pizza and a #@!%?...oh, you don't like pizza?
___________________________________________________________________ 12. Nice shoes...wanna fuck?
___________________________________________________________________________________________ 13. Nice dress....It would look better on my floor.
_________________________________________________________________________________________ 14. Your clother are becomming of you, If I were in your clothes would I be comming on you?
____________________________________________________________________________________________________ 15. Nice underwear...In my opinion they would look better around your ankles.
_____________________________________________________________________________ 16. Hi I'm gonna be a dr.
_____________________________________________________________________________ 17. Excuse me wiater....Are my buns hot?
____________________________________________________________________________ 18. *dip your finger in water and wipe it on the persons shirt* Hey lets go back to my place and get out of these wet clothes.
___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ 19. They say that milk does a body good but Damn, how much have you been drinking?
______________________________________________________________________________ 20. I like straight hair...oh, what a pitty by morning it'll curl with pleasure.
_______________________________________________________________________________ 21: Are those space pants? cuz your ass is outta this world.
__________________________________________________________________ 22: If I was a squrrel and you were a tree, could i get up in your hole and bust a nut?
____________________________________________________________________________________ 23: You have been a naughty boy/girl...go to my room.
_______________________________________________________________ 24: Do you believe in love at first sight or do I have to walk by you again?
_______________________________________________________________________ 25: I'm sorry...couldn't help but notice ME staring at YOU...
____________________________________________________________________ 26: Didn't anyone tell you that you wanted to sleep with me?!?! I thought you knew...
_________________________________________________________________________________ 27: Do you know the difference between my penis and a chicken leg? No??? Well, let's go on a picnic and find out!
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________ 28: Do you sleep on your stomach? [any answer] Can I?
__________________________________________________________________________ 29: Excuse me. Do you want to fuck or should I apologize?
____________________________________________________________________ 30: Forget that! Playing doctor is for kids! Let's play gynecologist.
______________________________________________________________________ 31: Fuck me if I am wrong, but haven't we met before?
___________________________________________________________________ 32: Fuck me if I am wrong, but you want to screw me, don't you?
___________________________________________________________________ 33: Fuck me if I'm wrong, but don't you want to kiss me?
_______________________________________________________________ 34: Fuck me if I'm wrong, but isn't your name Laura?
_______________________________________________________________ 35: Have you ever kissed a rabbit between the ears? (Pull your pockets inside out....) Would you like to?
_____________________________________________________________________________________________________ 36: Hey baby, let's go make some babies.
____________________________________________________________________ 37: Hey baby, whatdya say we go behind that rock and get a little boulder?!?
_________________________________________________________________________ 38: Hi, my name is {name}, I like peanut butter, wanna fuck?
______________________________________________________________________ 39: Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, I like Spaghetti, Let's go fuck!
____________________________________________________________________ 40: you know, if i were you i'd want to have sex with me.
___________________________________________________________________ 41: Do you wanna lick my tongue?
___________________________________________________________________ 42: (silently mouth) I want a fig newton.
______________________________________________________________________ 43: Hey good lookin', whatcha got cookin'? Nuthin could be finer than the taste of your vagina!
_________________________________________________________________________________________ 44: Hi my name is(your name), did I mention I have a penis.
___________________________________________________________________________________ 45: I wanna put my thingy into your thingy.
____________________________________________________________________________________________ 46: I put new shocks in my car. care to help me test them?
___________________________________________________________________________________ 47: I just wanted to come over and introduce myself cuz I have this feeling that I'll see you again.
_________________________________________________________________________________________________ 48: Remember my name cuz you will be screaming it later!
_____________________________________________________________________ 49: Hey baby your last name must be gillette, cuz your the best a man can get.
_________________________________________________________________________________ 50: You need a man in your life, baby. And like, I need a woman. Let's like get into each other's life or whatever.
____________________________________________________________________________________________________________ 51: Uh, get out of my car and into my dreams, baby.
______________________________________________________________________________________ 52: If I said you were sexy, would you hold your body against me?.
____________________________________________________________________________________ 53: I can make you feel like I've never had sex before..
__________________________________________________________________ 54: If I was the last man on Earth I bet we could do it in public..
_________________________________________________________________ 55: If you need a love doctor, I have like a medicated degree..
______________________________________________________________________ 56: If you ever had sex with a machine, that's what it's like with me. 'Cause I'm like a sex machine
________________________________________________________________________________________________ 57: If you're really hot, I bet I can cool you down..
__________________________________________________________________________ 58: Hey, baby, do you want me to take off my shorts?
________________________________________________________________ 59: Excuse me, but would you like an orally stimulated orgasm?
_________________________________________________________________ 60: Excuse me, have I fucked you yet?
_____________________________________________________________________ 61: Go up to a girl at a bar or a dance and ask her: do you want a fuck(wait for a second gauging her reaction)...ing drink?
_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ 62: Hey Baby! I'd like to use your thighs as earmuffs.
__________________________________________________________________________ 63: Hey Baby! I'd like to wrap your legs around my head and wear you like a feed bag!
___________________________________________________________________________________ 64: Hey baby, wanna go halves on a bastard?
_______________________________________________________________________ 65: Hey baby, wanna play lion? OK. You go kneel right there and I'll throw you my meat.
___________________________________________________________________________________ 66: Hey I am a wrestler, let me take you down.
___________________________________________________________________ 67: Hi, do you want to have my children? (assuming the answer is 'no'), OK then, can we just practice?
______________________________________________________________________________________________________ 68: Hi, I'm not trying to pressure you, I don't want to have sex without mutual consent; and by the way, you have my consent.
____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ 69: Hi,wanna fuck? Her: No! Mind lying down while I have one?
___________________________________________________________________ 70: I miss my teddy bear. Would you sleep with me?
_____________________________________________________________________ 71: I'm gonna have sex with you tonight so, you might as well be there.
_____________________________________________________________________ 72: If it's true that we are what we eat, then I could be you by morning.
______________________________________________________________________ 73: Let's bypass all the bullshit and just get naked.
___________________________________________________________________ 74: Let's go to my place and do the things I'll tell everyone we did anyway.
_______________________________________________________________________________ 75: My name's [your name], but you can call me "lover."
______________________________________________________________ 76: Nice socks. Can I try them on after we have sex?
______________________________________________________________________ 77: Oh, you're a bird watcher....(Whip out your unit and ask) Well, would you take this for a swallow?
___________________________________________________________________________________________________ 78: Sex is a killer...want to die happy?
______________________________________________________________________ 79: Since we shouldn't waste this day and age what you say we use these condoms in my pocket before they expire.
_________________________________________________________________________________________________________ 80: Take an ice cube to the bar, smash it, and say, "Now that I've broken the ice, will you sleep with me?"
__________________________________________________________________________________________________________ 81: The only reason I would kick you out of bed would be to fuck you on the floor.
______________________________________________________________________________ 82:I wish you were a screen door..... [Why?] So I can slam you all day long!
___________________________________________________________________________________ 83: Your place or mine? Tell you what? I'll flip a coin. Head at my place, tail at yours.
_______________________________________________________________________________________ 84: I'd like to get between your legs and eat my way straight to your heart...
____________________________________________________________________________________ 85: You touch his shirt and ask, "Is this cotton?" Wait for response. Then touch down in the crotch area and say, "Oh, this must be felt."
______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ 86: My dick's been feeling a little dead lately. Wanna give it some mouth-to-mouth?
_____________________________________________________________________________________ 87: Are you going to the party tonight (what party?) The one in your mouth, everybody's cumming.
_________________________________________________________________________________________ 88: If I told you I had a 2 inch dick would you fuck me? (if she says no) say Good, because mine is 8 inchs.
________________________________________________________________________________________________________ 89: Oh my God! I think I love you! Now lay down!
___________________________________________________________________ 90: Hello. I have sex on the first date. Do you?
______________________________________________________________________________________________________ 91: Do you like apples? (Yes.) How about I take you home and fuck the shit out of you. How do like them apples?
________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ 92: First, I'd like to kiss you passionately on the lips, then, I'll move up to your belly button.
__________________________________________________________________________________________________ 93: (With hands on shoulders) Oh, those are shoulder blades, I thought they were wings.
__________________________________________________________________________________ 94: Am I dead, Angel? Cause this must be heaven!
__________________________________________________________________ 95: Are you busy tonight at 3:00 A.M.?
______________________________________________________________________ 96: Are you lost ma'am? Because heaven's a long way from here.
_________________________________________________________________________ 97: Are you O.K.? Because heaven's a long fall from here.
_____________________________________________________________________ 98 As she's leaving....Hey aren't you forgetting something? She: What? Me!
_________________________________________________________________________________ 99: Baby, somebody better call God, cuz he's missing an angel!
______________________________________________________________________________ 100: Can I borrow a quarter? ["What for?"] I want to call my mom and tell her I just met the girl of my dreams. OR: I want to call your mother and thank her.
_______________________________________________________________ 101: Do you have a map? I just keep on getting lost in your eyes.
_________________________________________________________________ 102: Excuse me, but I think I dropped something!!! MY JAW!!
___________________________________________________________________ 103: Hello, I'm a thief, and I'm here to steal your heart.
_______________________________________________________________ 27 104: I must be lost. I thought paradise was further south.
__________________________________________________________________ 105: I'm new in town. Could you give me directions to your apartment?
___________________________________________________________________ 106: I'm sorry, were you talking to me? Her: No. Well then, please start.
____________________________________________________________________ 107: If I followed you home, would you keep me?
_______________________________________________________________ 108: If you were a tear in my eye I would not cry for fear of losing you.
________________________________________________________________ 109: Is there an airport nearby or is that just my heart taking off?
______________________________________________________________________ 110: My lenses turn dark in the sunshine of your love.
_______________________________________________________________ 111: So there you are! I've been looking all over for YOU, the girl of my dreams!
_______________________________________________________________ 112: Stand still so I can pick you up!
_________________________________________________________________ 113: Would you touch me so I can tell my friends I've been touched by an angel?
______________________________________________________________________ 114: Wouldn't we look cute on a wedding cake together?
____________________________________________________________________ 115: You must be a hell of a thief 'cause you stole my heart from across the room.
__________________________________________________________________ 116: [Grab her tush.] Pardon me, is this seat taken?
____________________________________________________________________ 117: Can I have directions? ["To where?"] To your heart.
_____________________________________________________________ 118: Was your father a thief? 'Cause someone stole the stars from the sky and put them in your eyes.
___________________________________________________________________________________ 119: Your eyes are blue, like the ocean. And baby, I'm lost at sea.
_____________________________________________________________________________________ 120: Ask a woman for the time. "10:30? So today is July xx,xxxx, at 10:30 pm, thanks I just wanted to be able to remember the exact moment that I met you."
_______________________________________________________________ 121: You're daddy must be a hunter because he sure caught a fox!"
________________________________________________________________ 122: Your daddy must play the trumpet, because he sure made me horny!
______________________________________________________________ 123: You must be Jamaican, because Jamaican me crazy.
____________________________________________________________________ 124: Baby, if you were words on a page, you'd be what they call FINE PRINT!
______________________________________________________________ 125: You must be a Snickers, because you satisfy me.
______________________________________________________________ 126: Are you religious? Cause you are the answers to all my prayers.
___________________________________________________________ 127:You're like a dictionary, you add meaning to my life!
_____________________________________________________________________________- 128: If beauty were sunlight, you'd shine from a million light-years away.
___________________________________________________________________________________ 129: Hello. Cupid called. He says to tell you that he needs my heart back.
___________________________________________________________________________________ 130: I must be a snowflake, 'cuz I've fallen for you.
________________________________________________________________________________________ 131: Do you know how to use a whip?
__________________________________________________________________ 132: I'm not trying anything, I always put my hands there.
_____________________________________________________________________ 133: I'm on fire. Can I run through your sprinkler?
____________________________________________________________________ 134: I Really like your peaches, wanna shake your tree.
______________________________________________________________________ 135: Would you like to see me naked ??
__________________________________________________________________ 136: if i were to ask u for sex would your answer be the same as the answer to this question?
_______________________________________________________________________________________- 137: If you were a booger I'd pick you first.
________________________________________________________________________ 138: Excuse me , she says "Uh huh", do you have any grey poupon? no? well we can still get the sandwich action going on baby....
___________________________________________________________________________ 139: Do you like clocks? (if yes) put two hands and a face on this.(pointing down)
______________________________________________________________________________ 140: Is your name daisy? Because I have a sudden urge to plant you right here!!!
________________________________________________________________________ 141: I am not a queen but I'll give you something royal.
________________________________________________________________________ 142: I'm feeling a little off today. Would you like to turn me on?
_____________________________________________________________________ 143: You're like a Pringle. Once I pop ya, I can't stop ya.
__________________________________________________________________ 144: I lost my virginity. Can I have yours?
____________________________________________________________________ If you have any funny pick up lines that should be on this list let me know.