Here’s another popular Internet activity: you can send electronic mail (e-mail). An e-mail message imitates a regular letter or postcard but is transmitted electronically so you don’t have to lick a stamp, don’t have to walk to the mailbox to send it, and don’t have to wait for the letter to be processed by your country’s postal system.
E-mail zips through the Internet at lightning speed, so a letter sent from Japan to the United States takes just minutes (sometimes even seconds) to reach its destination. Unlike regular mail, which the Post Office usually delivers just once a day, e-mail can arrive anytime, day or night. If your friends try to send you e-mail messages while your computer is turned off, your Internet service provider will hold their messages for you until you turn your computer back on and reconnect to the Internet.
Since sending e-mail is so much faster than using the Post Office (which is about as slow as a snail), the Post Office’s mail is nicknamed snail mail. Yes, e-mail travels fast, takes just a few minutes to reach its destination, and is free; snail mail travels slowly, typically takes several days to reach its destination, and costs about 50¢ (for a stamp, an envelope, and paper to write on). So if your friend promises to send you a letter “soon”, ask “Are you going to send it by e-mail or snail mail?”
An “e-mail message” is sometimes called just “an e-mail”. Instead of saying “I sent 3 e-mail messages”, an expert says “I sent 3 e-mails”.
To use e-mail, you need an e-mail program.
The e-mail program is called an e-mail client if it’s on your computer’s hard disk. Here are the most popular e-mail clients:
Outlook Express is part of Windows XP
Windows Mail is part of Windows Vista
Windows Live Mail is a free add-on to Windows XP&Vista&7
Outlook is by Microsoft and part of Microsoft Office
Safari is by Apple and part of Mac OS X
Thunderbird is by Mozilla.org, for use with Firefox
The e-mail program is called webmail service if it’s on a Website instead of your computer’s hard disk. Here are the most popular webmail services for the general public:
Yahoo Mail is at mail.yahoo.com, which is owned by Yahoo
Gmail is at www.gmail.com, which is owned by Google
Hotmail is at www.hotmail.com, which is owned by Microsoft
Some ISPs (such as AOL and Comcast) have invented special webmail services for use by just their own customers.
Which is better to use: an e-mail client or a webmail service? An e-mail client has 3 advantages over a webmail service:
An e-mail client runs faster than webmail.
An e-mail client understands more commands than webmail.
A webmail service puts ads on your screen and in your outgoing messages; an e-mail client doesn’t force you to look at ads.
But an e-mail client has 2 disadvantages:
Before you use an e-mail client the first time, you must install it.
If you’ve switch to a different computer (because you bought a new computer, or your building has several computers, or you’re visiting a friend), you can’t easily read your old messages: your messages and e-mail privileges are restricted to one computer (unless you fiddle a lot).
This chapter explains how to use these popular e-mail programs:
Outlook Express 6 (an e-mail client for Windows XP)
Windows Mail 6 (an e-mail client for Windows Vista)
Windows Live Mail 2011 (a newer e-mail client, for Windows Vista&7)
Yahoo Mail (a webmail service)
Gmail (a newer webmail service)
Simple e-mail
E-mail can be simple!
Start
Here’s how to start using e-mail.
Yahoo Mail To use Yahoo Mail (which is a webmail service), use your Web browser (such as Internet Explorer) to go to mail.yahoo.com. The computer will say “Yahoo Mail”.
If you have a Yahoo ID already, do this:
Type your Yahoo address (such as SecretGuide@yahoo.com) or just the part that comes before “@” (such as SecretGuide). Press the Tab key, type your Yahoo password, and press Enter.
If you don’t have a Yahoo ID yet, do this instead:
Click “Create New Account”. Click in the “First name” box. Type your first name, press the Tab key, type your last name, click the Gender box’s down-arrow, click your gender (“Male” or “Female”), click “Select Month”, click your birth month, and finish typing the date you were born (by typing in the Day and Year boxes).
The computer assumes you live in the United States. If you live in a different country, do this: click in the Country box, type your country’s first letter, then click your country’s name.
Click in the Postal Code box. Type your postal code (which in the United States is the ZIP code).
Click in the “Yahoo ID and Email” box. Invent your Yahoo ID. It must begin with a letter. It must have at least 3 more characters, which can include letters, digits, underlines, at most one period, no spaces, no special symbols. (For example, I invented SecretGuide.) Type what you invented. Click “Check”.
If the computer says “This ID is not available”, do this: click in the box, invent a different Yahoo ID, type it, then click “Check”.
Click in the Password box. Invent a Yahoo password that’s at least 6 characters long. Type it, press Tab, then type it again.
Finish filling the form. Click “Create My Account” (which you see when you scroll down).
The computer will say “Congratulations!” Click “Continue”.
GMail To use GMail (which is a webmail service), use your Web browser (such as Internet Explorer) to go to www.gmail.com. The computer will say “Gmail”.
If you have a Gmail account already, do this:
Type your Gmail address (such as TrickyLiving@gmail.com) or just the part that comes before “@” (such as TrickyLiving). Press the Tab key, type your Gmail password, and press Enter.
If you don’t have a Gmail account yet, do this instead:
Click “Create an account”. Click in the “First name” box. Type your first name, press the Tab key, type your last name, and press the Tab key.
Invent your Gmail account name. It must have at least 6 characters, which can including letters, digits, periods, no spaces, no special characters. (For example, I invented TrickyLiving.) Type what you invented. Click the “check availability” button.
If the computer says “is not available”, do this: double-click in the box, invent a different Gmail account name, type it, then click “check availability” again.
Click in the Password box. Invent a Gmail password that’s at least 8 characters long. Type it, press Tab, then type it again.
Finish filling the form. Click “I accept. Create My Account” (which you see when you scroll down).
The computer will say “Congratulations!” Click “Show me my accounts”.
Outlook Express To start using Outlook Express, choose one of these methods.…
Method 1 Click “start” then “Outlook Express”.
Method 2 (works usually) While you’re running Internet Explorer 5, 5.5, or 6, click the Mail button (which is at the top of the screen). Click “Read Mail”.
If the computer says “Internet Connection Wizard”, do this:
Type your name as you’d like it to appear in all e-mail messages you send (such as “Russ Walter”). Press Enter.
Click in the “E-mail address” box. Type the e-mail address that your ISP agreed to assign you (such as poo@gis.net). Press Enter.
Type the name of your ISP’s incoming mail server (such as “pop.gis.net”). Press Tab. Type the name of your ISP’s outgoing mail server (such as “smtp.gis.net”). Press Enter.
Press the Tab key. Type the user password that your ISP agreed to assign to you. (While you type your password, asterisks or black circles will appear on your screen, to hide your password from any enemy who’s looking over your shoulder.) Press Enter twice.
If the computer asks you, type your password again (and press Enter).
Here’s how to set up Outlook Express to work with Comcast’s webmail service:
Click “Set up a Mail account”.
Type your name as you’d like it to appear in all e-mail messages you send (such as “Russ Walter”). Press Enter.
Click in the “E-mail address” box. Type the e-mail address that your ISP agreed to assign you (such as SecretGuide@comcast.net). Press Enter.
Type the name of your ISP’s incoming mail server (such as “mail.comcast.net”). Press Tab. Type the name of your ISP’s outgoing mail server (such as “smtp.comcast.net”). Press Enter.
Press the Tab key. Type the user password that your ISP agreed to assign to you. (While you type your password, asterisks or black circles will appear on your screen, to hide your password from any enemy who’s looking over your shoulder.) Press Enter twice.
Click Tools then Accounts. Double-click “mail.comcast.net” then Servers. Put a check mark in the “My server requires authentication” box (by clicking it). Click “Advanced”. Type 587 and press Enter. Press Enter again.
You’ll see the Outlook Express window. If it doesn’t consume the whole screen yet, maximize it (by clicking its maximize button, which is next to the X button).
Windows Mail To start using Windows Mail, click Start then “Windows Mail”.
If the computer says “Your Name”, do this:
Type your name as you’d like it to appear in all e-mail messages you send (such as “Russ Walter”). Press Enter.
Click in the “E-mail address” box. Type the e-mail address that your ISP agreed to assign you (such as SecretGuide@comcast.net). Press Enter.
Type the name of your ISP’s incoming mail server (such as “mail.comcast.net”). Press Tab. Type the name of your ISP’s outgoing mail server (such as “smtp.comcast.net”). Press Enter.
Press the Tab key. Type the user password that your ISP agreed to assign to you. (While you type your password, black circles will appear on your screen, to hide your password from any enemy who’s looking over your shoulder.) Press Enter twice.
Click Tools then Accounts. Double-click “mail.comcast.net” then Servers. Put a check mark in the “My server requires authentication” box (by clicking it). Click “Advanced”. Type 587 and press Enter. Press Enter again.
You’ll see the Windows Mail window. If it doesn’t consume the whole screen yet, maximize it (by clicking its maximize button, which is next to the X button).
Windows Live Mail Windows Live Mail is part of Windows Live Essentials.
If your computer doesn’t have Windows Live Essentials yet, you can get it & install it by one of these methods:
Method 1: Using your Web browser (such as Internet Explorer), go to explore.live.com. Click the biggest “Windows Live Essentials” then “Download now”. Then follow the screen’s instructions.
Method 2: Click Start then “All Programs” then “Windows Update”. Then follow the screen’s instructions.
Method 3 (requires Windows 7): Click Start then “Getting Started” then “Get Windows Live Essentials” then “Download now”. Then follow the screen’s instructions.
To start using Windows Live Mail (after it’s been installed), click Start then “All Programs” then “Windows Live Mail”.
You’ll see the Windows Live Mail window. If it doesn’t consume the whole screen yet, maximize it (by clicking its maximize button, which is next to the X button).
If the computer says “Sign in to Windows Live Mail”, do the following.…
If you have a Windows Live ID already, do this:
Type your Windows Live ID password. Check the box marked “Remember me and sign me in automatically”. Click the “Sign in” button.
If you don’t have a Windows Live ID yet, do this instead:
Click “Sign up”. Click in the “Use your email address” box. Type the e-mail address that your ISP agreed to assign you (such as SecretGuide@comcast.net). Press the Tab key.
The computer asks for a Windows Live ID password. You can invent a password; but to avoid confusion, I recommend you use the password your ISP assigned you. Type it, press Tab, type it again, press Tab again.
Type your first name (or nickname) as you’d like it to appear in all e-mail messages you send (such as “Russ”). Press Tab, type your last name, press Tab again.
Fill in the rest of the form. Click the “I accept” button (which you see when you scroll down).
Close all windows, so you can start fresh (and avoid Microsoft’s ads about Hotmail).
Go back to the paragraph that begins, “To start using Windows Live Mail…”.
If the computer asks “Set Windows Live Mail as your default email program?”, click “Yes”.
If your ISP is Comcast, do this (if you haven’t done so already):
Click “Accounts” (which is at the screen’s top) then “Properties” then “Advanced”. Type 587. Remove the check mark from “Leave a copy of messages on server” (by clicking). Press Enter. Click “Home”.
If the computer says “Verify the email address”, do this (if you haven’t done so already):
Click “Verify the email address”. Then click the line below “Use this link to verify your account”. Then follow the instructions. Then close the Web browser window, so you see the Windows Live Mail window again.
Incoming mail
Here’s how to handle incoming mail.
At the screen’s left edge, you see “Inbox”.
In Yahoo Mail & Gmail & Windows Live Mail, click the “Inbox” that’s at the screen’s left edge.
In Outlook Express & Windows Mail, click the “Inbox” that’s at the screen’s left edge and below the word “Folders”.
Now most of the screen is divided into 3 big white windowpanes, which I’ll call “left”, “top”, and “bottom”. (Exception: in Windows Live Mail”, the “bottom” pane is actually to the right of the “top” pane instead of below.)
In addition to those big panes, you might see extras:
Yahoo Mail shows ads at the screen’s right edge.
Windows Mail shows a calendar at the screen’s right edge.
Gmail shows a one-line ad at the screen’s top.
Outlook Express might show a tiny “Contacts” pane in the screen’s bottom-left corner.
The top pane shows a list of all e-mail messages that other people have sent you. For each message, the list shows whom the message is from (the sender’s name), the message’s subject (what the message is about), and the time when the message was received.
The first time Microsoft’s Outlook Express or Windows Mail is used on your computer, the top pane shows you’ve received a message from Microsoft.
The first time Windows Live Mail is used on your computer, the top pane shows you’ve received a message from the Windows Live Team. That message asks you to “Verify the email address”.
The first time Yahoo Mail is used with your Yahoo ID, the top pane shows you’ve received a message from Yahoo.
The first time GMail is used with your Gmail account, the top pane shows you’ve received a message from the GMail Team.
After you’ve used the e-mail program awhile, you’ll probably receive additional messages, from your friends!
Here’s how to deal with a long list of messages:
Each message is initially listed in bold type (and Outlook Express & Windows Mail & Windows Live Mail show a picture of a sealed envelope). If you look at a message’s details awhile (at least 1 second in Windows Live Mail, 2 seconds in Yahoo Mail, 5 seconds in Outlook Express & Windows Mail), that message becomes unbolded (and Outlook Express & Windows Mail shows its envelope opened).
If there are too many messages to fit in the pane, view the rest of the messages by pressing that pane’s scroll-down arrow (the symbol 6 or Ú at the pane’s bottom right corner).
In what order do the messages appear?
Gmail & Windows Live Mail The computer puts similar messages together, to form a conversation thread of back-and-forth replies.
Outlook Express & Windows Mail & Yahoo Mail If you click the word “Received” in Outlook Express & Windows Mail (or “Date” in Yahoo Mail), the messages are listed in the order received (chronological order). If you click the word “From” instead, the messages are listed by the sender’s name (in alphabetical order). Clicking “Received” is typically more useful than clicking “From”. When you click the word “Received” or “From”, a triangle appears next to that word. If you click that same word again, the triangle flips upside-down — and so does the list. For example, suppose the triangle is next to the word “Received”: if the triangle points down, the messages are listed from newest to oldest; if the triangle points up instead, the messages are listed from oldest to newest.
Look in the top pane, at the list of messages you received. Decide which message you want to read, and click the sender’s name. Then you start seeing the complete message.
Outlook Express, Windows Mail, and Yahoo Mail: the message appears in the bottom pane.
Windows Live Mail: the message appears in the so-called “bottom” pane (which is actually to the right of the top pane instead of below).
Gmail: the top pane shows the message, and its right edge shows ads relating to the message’s words; when you finish reading the message & ads, click “Back to Inbox” to make the top pane return to normal.
If the message is too long to fit in its pane, you can see the rest of the message by press that pane’s scroll-down arrow (the symbol 6 or Ú at the pane’s bottom right corner).
Junk If a message seems to be junk, here’s what happens:
Outlook Express puts the message in the Inbox, like any other message.
Windows Mail puts the message in the Junk E-mail folder instead of the Inbox. To see what’s in the Junk E-mail folder, click “Junk E-mail”. To see what’s in the Inbox again, click Inbox.
Windows Live Mail puts the message in the Junk email folder instead of the Inbox. To see what’s in the Junk E-mail folder, click “Junk email”. To see what’s in the Inbox again, click Inbox.
Yahoo Mail puts the message in the Spam folder instead of the Inbox. To see what’s in the Spam folder, click the Spam button at the screen’s left edge. To see what’s in the Inbox again, click Inbox. Once a month, the computer erases the Spam folder’s messages.
Gmail puts the message in the Spam folder instead of the Inbox. To see what’s in the Spam folder, click the Spam button at the screen’s left edge. (If you don’t see that button yet, make it appear by clicking the more button, which says “6 more” or something similar.) To see what’s in the Inbox again, click Inbox. If a message has been in the Spam folder for more than 30 days, the computer erases it.
How to send mail
To write an e-mail message, perform 5 steps.
Step 1: get the window In Outlook Express & Windows Mail, do this:
Click “Create Mail”. You’ll see the New Message window.
In Windows Live Mail, do this:
Click “Email message” (which is near the screen’s top-left corner). You’ll see the New Message window.
In Yahoo Mail, do this:
Click the New button (which is near the screen’s top-left corner, next to “Check mail”). The top pane will say “New Email Message”.
In Gmail, do this:
Click “Compose Mail”. The top pane will say “To”.
Step 2: choose a recipient To whom do you want to send the message? To send an e-mail message to a person, you must find out that person’s e-mail address. For example, if you want to send an e-mail message to me, you need to know that my e-mail address is “Russ@SecretFun.com”.
For the Internet, each e-mail address contains the symbol “@”, which is pronounced “at”. For example, my Internet address, “Russ@SecretFun.com”, is pronounced “russ at secret fun dot com”.
To find out the e-mail addresses of your friends and other people, ask them (by chatting with them in person or by phoning them or by sending them snail-mail postcards).
If you send e-mail to the following celebrities and nuts, they’ll probably read what you wrote. (But they might not have enough time to write back, and they prefer you use the feedback forms on their Websites instead.)
Comment E-mail address
Actors
Clint Eastwood rugged Westerner RowdiYates@aol.com
Tom Hanks plays nice guy in trouble NY122@aol.com
Brad Pitt heartthrob CiaoBox@msn.com
Tom Cruise heartthrob AGoodActor@aol.com
John Travolta black-jacket cool JohnTravolta@EarthAlliance.com
Adam Sandler childish adult sandler@cris.com
Talk-show hosts
David Letterman CBS’s “Late Show” LateShow@pipeline.com
Jay Leno NBC’s “Tonight Show” TonightShow@nbc.com
Oprah Winfrey warm harpo@InterAccess.com
Howard Stern talks dirty on radio SternShow@HowardStern.com
Politicians
Barack Obama President of USA comments@WhiteHouse.gov
Joe Biden Vice-President of USA Vice_President@WhiteHouse.gov
Reporters & commentators
Dave Barry syndicated columnist NoLowFlow@DaveBarry.com
Roger Ebert movie critic, thumbs up feedback@RogerEbert.com
Bill Nye PBS’s “Science Guy” BillNye@nyelabs.com
Fictions
Santa Claus delivers presents santa@NorthPole.com
Scott Adams draws Dilbert cartoons ScottAdams@aol.com
Computerists
Bill Gates Microsoft’s chairman BillG@microsoft.com
Russ Walter nut, wrote this book Russ@SecretFun.com
Pop singers
Britney Spears young Britney@BritneySpears.com
Madonna sexual Madonna@wbr.com
Sports heroes
Tiger Woods golfer Tiger@TigerWoods.com
Evander Holyfield boxer had his ear bit Evander@EvanderHolyfield.com
When you type an e-mail address, you don’t have to capitalize. The computer ignores capitalization.
Never put a blank space in the middle of an e-mail address.
Warning: people often change their e-mail addresses, so don’t be surprised if your message comes back, marked undeliverable.
Type the e-mail address of the person to whom you want to send your message. If you’re a shy beginner who’s nervous about bothering people, try sending an e-mail message to a close friend or me or yourself. Sending an e-mail message to yourself is called “doing a Fats Waller”, since he was the first singer to popularize these lyrics:
Gonna sit right down and write myself a letter,
And make believe it came from you!
If you send an e-mail message to me, I’ll read it (unless my e-mail address has changed) and try to send you a reply, but be patient (since I typically check my e-mail just a few times per day and don’t check it when I travel) and avoid asking for computer advice (since I give extensive advice just by regular phone calls at 603-666-6644, not by e-mail).
At the end of the e-mail address, press the Tab key twice (just once in Gmail & Windows Live Mail), so you’re at the line marked “Subject”.
Step 3: choose a subject Type a phrase summarizing the subject (such as “let’s lunch” or “I’m testing”). At the end of that typing, press the Tab key again.
Step 4: type the message Go ahead: type the message, such as “Let’s have lunch together in Antarctica tomorrow!” or “I’m testing my e-mail system, so please tell me whether you received this test message.” Your message can be as long as you wish — many paragraphs! Type the message as if you were using a word processor. For example, press the Enter key just when you reach the end of a paragraph. (If you’re using Outlook Express or Windows Mail or Windows Live Mail, you can maximize the window you’re typing in by clicking the window’s maximize button, which is next to the X button.)
Step 5: send the message When you finish typing the message, click the Send button.
Outlook Express & Windows Mail The Send button is above where you typed the e-mail address. It shows an envelope with a right-arrow.
Windows Live Mail The Send button is left of where you typed the e-mail address. It shows an envelope with a right-arrow.
Yahoo Mail & GMail The Send button is above where you typed the e-mail address.
If the computer says “Display name” (because you’re using Outlook Express and haven’t sent e-mails before), do this:
Type your name as you’d like it to appear on all e-mail messages you send (such as “Russ Walter”). Press Enter.
Type the e-mail address that your ISP agreed to assign you (such as “poo@gis.net”). Press Enter.
Type the name of your ISP’s incoming mail server (such as “pop.gis.net”). Press Tab. Type the name of your ISP’s outgoing mail server (such as “smtp.gis.net”). Press Enter.
Press the Tab key. Type the user password that your ISP agreed to assign to you. (While you type your password, black circles will appear on your screen, to hide your password from any enemy who’s looking over your shoulder.) Press Enter twice.
In Outlook Express & Windows Mail & Windows Live Mail & Gmail, the window (or pane) you typed in will close automatically. In Yahoo Mail, this happens instead:
If the computer says “Verification”, type a copy of the big distorted characters you see (to prove you’re a human who has eyes and a brain), then press Enter. (If the computer says “There was a problem”, try again.)
The computer will say “Message Sent”. If the computer says “Recipients not in your Contacts”, click the box marked “Automatically add new recipients to my Contacts”.
Click “OK”.
When do messages transmit?
When you try to send or receive a message, when does the transmission actually occur?
Receiving a message from a friend When a friend tries to send you a message, the message goes from your friend’s computer to your friend’s e-mail server (such as Yahoo or your friend’s Internet Service Provider), which passes the message on to your e-mail server. The message is stored on your e-mail server’s hard disk.
Since your e-mail server is always turned on (day and night, 24 hours), it’s always ready to receive messages your friends try to send you, even while your own computer is turned off.
When you try to examine your Inbox, your computer ought to contact your e-mail server and tell the e-mail server to transmit any new messages to your computer; but if your computer is lazy, it might not contact your e-mail server immediately to get the newest messages. Instead, your computer might decide to wait awhile before bothering your e-mail server. For example, your computer might contact your e-mail server just once every 30 minutes to check whether there are any new messages for you; or your computer might not contact your e-mail server until the next time you start running the e-mail program — which might be the next day.
Here’s how to make your computer communicate with your e-mail server now, so all the messages you’re trying to receive get transmitted to your Inbox now:
Outlook Express: click the Send/Recv button (or press the F5 key)
Windows Mail: click “Send/Recv” (or press the F5 key)
Windows Live Mail: click envelopes above “Send/Receive” (or press F5 key)
Yahoo Mail: click the Check Mail button
Gmail: click “Refresh”
If you want Outlook Express & Windows Mail to check for messages more frequently (such as every 5 minutes), do this:
Click “Tools” then “Options”. Put a in the box marked “Check for new messages” (by clicking). Put a small number (such as 5) in the minutes box (by clicking the box’s down-arrow). Also, to make sure e-mails you create get sent immediately, do this: click “Send” (which is at the top of the screen); put a in the box marked “Send messages immediately” (by clicking); click OK.
If you want Windows Live Mail to check for messages more frequently (such as every 5 minutes), do this:
Click the Windows Live Mail button (which is left of “Home” and has a down-arrow) then “Options” then “Mail”. Put a small number (such as 5) in the minutes box (by clicking the box’s down-arrow). Press Enter.
Sending a message to a friend When you tell the computer to send a message to a friend, the computer typically transmits the message immediately to your e-mail server (which passes it on to your friend’s e-mail server).
Printing
To copy a message onto paper, get the message onto the screen then do this:
Outlook Express & Windows Mail Click “Print”. Press Enter.
Gmail Click “Print all” (which is near the screen’s right edge). Press Enter.
Yahoo Mail Click “Actions” then “Print Email”. Press Enter.
Windows Live Mail Click the Windows Live Mail button (which is left of “Home” and has a down-arrow) then “Print”. Press Enter.
Acronyms
People often use these expressions and abbreviations when writing e-mail messages (and text messages on phones):
Expression Abbreviation
I’m GRINNING! <g>
I have a BIG GRIN! <bg>
I have a VERY BIG GRIN! <vbg>
Laughing out loud! LOL
Lots of laughing out loud! LOLOL
Lots & lots of laughing out loud! LOLOLOL
Laughing my ass off! LMAO
Laughing my ass off, on the floor! LMAOOTF
Rolling on the floor, laughing! ROTFL
Ha ha, only joking! HHOJ
Tongue in cheek! TIC
No problem! NP
Way to go! WTG
Too good to be true! 2GTBT
Good game! GG
Great minds think alike. GMTA
I love you. ILY
Love you, miss you! LYMY
Wish you were here! WYWH
Hugs and kisses! XOXO
Oh my God! OMG
before B4
later L8R
real soon now RSN
See you later! CUL8R
Talk to you later! TTYL
Ta-ta for now! TTFN
Parent over shoulder! POS
People are watching! PRW
Best friend forever! BFF
Thinking about you! TAU
Be back later! BBL
Be right back! BRB
Be back in a flash! BBIAF
Just a minute! JAM
Back at keyboard! BAK
Welcome back! WB
Long time, no see! LTNS
Thanks in advance. TIA
No reply necessary. NRN
in my opinion IMO
in my humble opinion IMHO
in my not-so-humble opinion IMNSHO
off the top of my head OTTOMH
I am not a lawyer. IANAL
Trust me on this. TMOT
Don’t quote me on this. DQMOT
Just kidding! JK
for your information FYI
frequently asked question FAQ
waste of money, brains, and time WOMBAT
Do it yourself. DIY
Read the manual. RTM
Read the f***ing manual. RTFM
Oh, I see. OIC
Still in the dark! SITD
Are you OK? RUOK
in real life IRL
Been there, done that! BTDT
Good luck! GL
Good luck, have fun! GL/HF
Shit out of luck! SOL
by the way BTW
as a matter of fact AAMOF
for what it’s worth FWIW
before I forget BIF
in any event IAE
in other words IOW
on the other hand OTOH
Don’t hold your breath. DHYB
Laughing at your mamma! L@YM
what the hell WTH
what the fuck WTF
Are you serious? AYS
Oh, really? O RLY
Yeah, really! YARLY
No way! NOWAI
Got to see you! GTSY
Those abbreviations are called acronyms.
Acronyms can be ambiguous. For example, “LOL” can mean “laughing out loud” or “lots of love”. If you receive an e-mail saying “LOL”, you must guess whether the sender is laughing at you or laughing with you or loves you. Don’t write an acronym unless you’re sure the recipient will understand it.
Smiley’s pals
Here’s a picture of a smiling face:
 |
It’s called a smiley. If you rotate that face 90°, it looks like this:
:-)
People writing e-mail messages often type that symbol to mean “I’m smiling; I’m just kidding”.
For example, suppose you want to tell the President that you disagree with his speech. If you communicate the old-fashioned way, with pencil and paper, you’ll probably begin like this:
Dear Mr. President,
I’m somewhat distressed at your recent policy announcement.
But people who communicate by e-mail tend to be more blunt:
Hey, Prez!
You really blew that speech. Jeez! Your policy stinks. You should be boiled in oil, or at least paddled with a floppy disk. :-)
The symbol “:-)” means “I’m just kidding”. That symbol’s important. Forgot to include it? Then the poor Prez, worried about getting boiled in oil, might have the Secret Service arrest you for plotting an assassination.
The smiley, “:-)”, has many variations:
Symbol Meaning
:-) I’m smiling.
:-( I’m frowning.
:-< I’m real sad.
:-c I’m bummed out.
:-C I’m really bummed out!
:-I I’m grim.
:-/ I’m skeptical.
:-7 I’m smirking at my own wry comment.
:-> I have a devilish grin.
:-D I’m laughing.
:-o I’m shouting.
:-O I’m shouting really loud.
:-@ I’m screaming.
:-8 I talk from both sides of my mouth.
:-p I’m sticking my tongue out at you.
:-P I’m being tongue-in-cheek.
:-& I’m tongue-tied.
:-9 I’m licking my lips.
:-* My lips pucker — for a kiss or pickle.
:-x My lips are sealed.
:-# I wear braces.
:-$ My mouth is wired shut.
:-? I smoke a pipe.
:-} I have a beard.
:-B I have buck teeth.
:-[ I’m a vampire.
:-{} I wear lipstick.
:-{) I have a mustache.
:-~) My nose runs.
:-)~ I’m drooling.
:-)-8 I have big breasts.
:*) I’m drunk.
:^) My nose is broken.
:~I I’m smoking.
:~j I’m smoking and smiling.
:'-( I’m crying.
:'-) I’m so happy, I’m crying.
:) I’m a midget.
;-) I’m winking.
?-) I have a black eye.
%-) Dizzy from staring at screen too long!
8-) I wear glasses.
B-) I wear cool shades, man.
g-) I wear pince-nez glasses.
P-) I’m a pirate.
|-O I’m yawning.
|^O I’m snoring.
X-( I just died.
O:-) I’m an angel.
+:-) I’m a priest.
[:-) I’m wearing a Walkman.
&:-) I have curly hair.
@:-) I have wavy hair.
8:-) I have a bow in my hair.
B:-) My sunglasses are on my forehead.
{:-) I wear a toupee,
}:-) but the wind is blowing it off.
-:-) I’m a punk rocker,
-:-( but real punk rockers don’t smile.
[:] I’m a robot.
3:] I’m your pet,
3:[ but I growl.
}:-> I’m being devilish,
>;-> and lewdly winking.
E-:-) I’m a ham radio operator.
C=:-) I’m a chef.
=|:-)= I’m Uncle Sam.
<):-) I’m a fireman.
*<:-) I’m Santa Claus.
*:o) I’m Bozo the clown.
<:I I’m a dunce.
(-: I’m a lefty.
The symbol for “love” is —
<3
because if you rotate it 90° in the opposite direction, it looks like a heart. So to say “I love you” just write:
I <3 U
To say “Lots of love!” just write:
<333
Since those symbolic pictures (icons) help you emote, they’re called emoticons (pronounced “ee MOTE ee cons”). Technically, just the first one in that list is called a smiley, but some folks call all emoticons “smileys.”
To understand those American smileys easily, you must turn your head 90°.
Japanese versions The Japanese have invented these straight-on smileys, which don’t require you to turn your head — you can look at them straight-on:
Symbol Meaning
(^_^) I’m smiling.
(@_@) I’m dizzy and giddy.
(*^_^*) I’m smiling and blushing.
(^.^) Smiling with my cute little-girl mouth!
(-_-) I’m angry but trying to force a smile.
(T_T) I’m crying. Tears run down my cheeks.
(p_-) Trying to find secret, using magnifier!
(>_<) Ouch! That was a painful failure!
(>_<)(>_<) I deny it strongly, shake my head!
(._.?) Are we confusing each other?
(._.)(._.) What are you looking for?
(^_^;) I’m stunned, break into a cold sweat,
((((((^_^;) and want to run outta here!
(^_^)V Great! My hand makes the victory sign!
(^^)// Great! My hands clap!
\(OoO)/ I’m wowed! My eyes bulge, arms flail.
(-_-)zzz I’m going to sleep. Good-night!
QQ I have tears in my eyes. I’m upset.
The Japanese call their straight-on smileys “facemarks”, since they’re marks that represent faces simply, without rotation.
Other body parts Analysts of American culture invented these assicons to illustrate slang:
Symbol Meaning
(_!_) regular ass
(!) tight ass
(__!__) fat ass
[_!_] hard ass
(_) half-assed
(_o_) ass that’s been around
(_O_) ass that’s been around even more
(_*_) sore-ass loser
(_o^^o_) wise ass
(_E=mc2_) smart ass
(_?_) dumb ass
(_zzz_) tired ass
(_13_) unlucky ass
(_jack_) jackass
(_Y_) ass that can’t say no
(_x_) kiss my ass
(_X_) get off my ass
(_$_) money coming out of his ass
(_#_) take an ass pounding
(_~_) Latin ass
(_/_) Asian ass
Analysts of the female form have invented these titicons (which are also called boobiecons):
Symbol Meaning
(o)(o) regular tits
(O)(O) big tits
(@)(@) big, hairy tits
(.)(.) tiny tits
{.}{.} shriveled tits
(,)(,) droopy tits
(')(') perky tits
(.Y.) curvy tits
($)($) silicone tits
Leet
Youngsters sometimes write emails in a secret slang code called Leet (which stands for “élite”), so their parents won’t understand — and neither will out-of-touch school administrators, employers, censors, and email filters.
To translate English to Leet, change the letters to similar-looking digits (or other symbols) or similar sounding expressions, like this:
English Leet
the letter o or O the digit 0
the letter i or I the digit 1 or the symbol !
the letter s or S the digit 5 or the symbol $
the letter z or Z the digit 2
the letter b or B the digit 8
the letter l or L the digit 1 or 7
the letter t or T the digit 7 or the symbol +
the letter a or A the digit 4 or the symbol @
the letter g or G the digit 6
the letter e or E the digit 3
the letter h or H the symbol #
the letter x or X the symbol % or ><
the letter v or V the symbols \/
the letter w or W the symbols \/\/
the letter y or Y the letter j
the letter f or F the letters ph
the sound “ate” the digit 8
the sound “are” the letter R
the sound “you” the letter U
the sound “and” the symbol &
the sound “ant” the symbol &
Examples:
English Leet
boobs 80085
Leet 1337
shit $#!+
ass @$
To avoid too much confusion, make just some of those changes — just enough to confuse your parents without confusing your friends. For example, you can keep the b and t:
English Leet
banned b&
newbie (beginner) n00b
Hooray! We won! w00t (we own other team)
To further confuse parents and be cool, some kids purposely type letters in the wrong order or type a nearby letter on the keyboard:
English Cool Leet
the word “the” t3h (instead of th3)
newbie (beginner) b00n (instead of n00b)
laughing out loud OLO (instead of LOL)
the word “crap” carp
the word “porn” pr0n or n0rp
the letter “o” p (which is next to o)
the word “own” pwn
capital “O” ZP (since Z is near Shift)
Oh, my God! ZPMG
What did you send?
To check which messages you sent, do this:
Outlook Express & Windows Mail: in the left pane, click “Sent Items”.
Windows Live Mail: in the left pane, click “Sent items”.
Gmail: in the left pane, click “Sent Mail”.
Yahoo Mail: in the left pane, click “Sent”.
You’ll see a list of messages you sent. For each message, the list shows the address you sent it to, the message’s subject, and when you sent it.
When you finish admiring that list, make the screen become normal again by clicking “Inbox” (which is in the left pane).
Reply
While you’re reading a message that somebody’s sent you, here’s how to reply.
Click “Reply” (or use this Yahoo Mail shortcut: press the keyboard’s R key). Then type your reply.
While you type, the computer shows a copy of the message you’re replying to. In Outlook Express & Windows Mail & Gmail, the copy has a vertical bar (“|”) in front of each line.
If you want to abridge that copy (so it doesn’t clutter your screen), use your mouse: drag across the part you want to delete, then press the Delete key.
When you finish typing your reply, click the Send button. The computer will send your reply, along with your abridged copy of the message you’re replying to.
Delete old messages
The list of received messages — and the list of sent messages — can become long and hard to manage. To reduce the clutter, delete any messages that no longer interest you.
To delete a message you received (or a copy of a message you sent), make the message’s name appear in the top pane, then do this:
Outlook Express & Windows Mail & Windows Live Mail: click the name so it turns blue, then press the Delete key.
Yahoo Mail: click the name so it turns green (or gray), then press the Delete key.
Gmail: click the box that’s left of the name so you see a check mark, then click “Delete”.
That tells the computer you want to delete the message. The computer moves the message into a Deleted Items folder (which Yahoo Mail & Gmail call Trash). It resembles the Windows Recycle Bin.
To find out what’s in that folder, do this:
Outlook Express & Windows Mail: click “Deleted Items”.
Windows Live Mail: click “Deleted items”.
Yahoo Mail: click “Trash”.
Gmail: if you don’t see “Trash” yet, make it appear by clicking “more”; click “Trash”.
You’ll see what’s in that folder: a list of the messages you said to delete.
Are you sure you want to delete all those messages?
If you change your mind, you can keep one of those messages. For Yahoo Mail, do this:
Find the message’s name (in the top pane) and drag that name to where you want the message moved (the left pane’s Inbox or “Sent”).
For Gmail do this:
In the top pane, click the message’s name then “Move to”.
You see a menu under “Move to”. In that menu, click “Inbox”.
For Outlook Express & Windows Mail, do this:
In the top pane, right-click that message’s name (using the mouse’s right-hand button). Click “Move to Folder”.
You see the Move window. In that window, double-click where you want the message moved (“Inbox” or “Sent Items”); if you don’t see those choices, make them appear by double-clicking “Local Folders”.
For Windows Live Mail, do this:
In the top pane, click that message’s name then “Move to”.
You see the Move window. In that window, double-click where you want the message moved (“Inbox” or “Sent items”).
When you’re sure you want to eliminate all messages in the Deleted Items folder, do this:
Yahoo Mail Click the word “Empty” that’s next to “Trash”. Click “OK”.
Gmail While you’re looking at the messages in the Trash, click “Empty Trash now”. Click “OK”.
Outlook Express & Windows Mail Right-click “Deleted Items” (using the mouse’s right-hand button). Click “Empty Deleted Items Folder” then “Yes”.
Windows Live Mail Right-click “Deleted items” (using the mouse’s right-hand button). Click “Empty ‘Deleted items’ folder” then “Yes”.
If you’re using Windows Mail or Windows Live Mail or Yahoo Mail or Gmail, handle the Junk E-mail folder the same way as the Deleted Items folder.
Signature
At the bottom of your e-mail message, you can include a few lines that identify who you are. Those lines are called your signature (or sig).
For example, your sig can include your full name, address, and phone number. You can mention your office’s address & phone number, but be cautious about revealing your home address & phone number, since e-mail messages are often peeked at by strangers.
If you’re employed, you might also wish to give your company’s name, your title, and a disclaimer, such as “The opinions I expressed aren’t necessarily my employer’s.” You might also wish to reveal your personality, by including your favorite saying (such as “Be creative” or “May the Lord bless you” or “Turned on by Twinkies”). But keep your sig short: any sig containing more than 7 lines of text is considered an impolite waste of your reader’s time.
Don’t bother putting your e-mail address in your sig, since your e-mail address appears automatically at the top of your message.
Here’s how to put the same sig on all your e-mail messages easily. For Outlook Express & Windows Mail, do this:
On the menu bar at the screen’s top, click the word “Tools”. Click “Options” then “Signatures” then “New”.
Press Enter (so your sig’s top line will be blank). Then type whatever words and numbers you want to be in your sig; press the Enter key at the end of each line.
Click “Add signatures to all outgoing messages”. Click “OK”. Then the computer will automatically put that sig at the bottom of each new message you write.
For Windows Live Mail, do this:
Click the Windows Live Mail button (which is left of “Home” and has a down-arrow) then “Options” then “Mail” then “Signatures” then “New”.
Press Enter (so your sig’s top line will be blank). Then type whatever words and numbers you want to be in your sig; press the Enter key at the end of each line.
Click “Add signatures to all outgoing messages”. Click “OK”. Then the computer will automatically put that sig at the bottom of each new message you write.
For Yahoo Mail, do this:
Click “Options” (which is near the screen’s top-right corner) then “More Options” then “Signature” (which is at the screen’s left edge).
Click the button marked “Show a signature on all outgoing messages”. Click in the box below “Show a signature on all outgoing messages”.
Then type whatever words and numbers and numbers you want to be in your sig; press Enter at the end of each line.
Click “Save Changes”. Then the computer will automatically put that sig at the bottom of each new message you write.
Click “Back to Mail” (which is at the screen’s left edge).
For Gmail, do this:
Click “Settings” (which is near the screen’s top-right corner). Scroll down until you see the word “Signature”. Click the circle that’s left of the white Signature box, then click in the white Signature box. Type whatever words and numbers and numbers you want to be in your sig; press Enter at the end of each line.
Click the “Save Changes” button (which you’ll see when you scroll down). Then the computer will automatically put that sig at the bottom of each new message you write.
Click “Back to Mail” (which is at the screen’s left edge).
While you edit a message, edit its sig! Customize its sig to match the rest of the message.
Finish
When you finish using e-mail, do this:
Outlook Express & Windows Mail & Windows Live Mail: close the window (by clicking the X at the screen’s top-right corner).
Yahoo Mail: click “Sign Out” (which is at the screen’s top).
Gmail: click “Sign out” (which is at the screen’s top-right corner).
Attachments
An e-mail message can have a file attached to it.
Send a file attachment
While you’re writing a message, here’s how to insert a file (such as a picture you drew in Paint, or a document composed in WordPad or Microsoft Word).
Click the Attach button, by doing this:
Yahoo Mail: click the button that says “Attach”; it’s next to the Send button.
Gmail: click the button that says “Attach a file”.
Outlook Express & Windows Mail: click the button that says “Attach” and looks like a paper clip.
Windows Live Mail: click the button that says “Attach file” and looks like a paper clip.
If Yahoo Mail says “Set up the easy attach tool”, click the “I agree” box then “Continue” then “Run” then “Allow” then “Attach Files”.
Which file do you want to insert? Make its icon appear on the screen. If its icon is not on the screen because the computer is showing a different folder, do this:
Windows Mail Click the Ù next to “Folders”. Click the folder that the file is in.
Outlook Express Click the 6 or Ú next to the folder’s name. Click the hard disk’s “C:” icon. Double-click the folders that the file is in.
Yahoo Mail & Gmail & Windows Live Mail At the screen’s left edge, you see a list of folders. (To see the whole list, scroll it up or down). Click or double-click the folder that the file is in.
When the file’s icon is finally on the screen, double-click that icon.
Near the message you were writing, you should see your file’s name. (Windows Mail & Outlook Express put the file’s name into the Attach box, which is above the message. Yahoo Mail puts the file’s name into the Attach pane, which is below the message. Gmail & Windows Live Mail put the file’s name next to the paper clip, below the Subject box.)
Make sure the message and the file’s name are correct.
Then click the Send button. That makes the computer send the message and attached file.
Receive a file attachment
Here’s what to do if a friend sends you a message that includes an attached file.
Outlook Express & Windows Mail begin like this:
While you’re reading the message (in the bottom pane), you’ll see a paper clip in that pane’s top right corner. Click the paper clip.
Under that paper clip, you’ll see the attached file’s icon. Click that icon.
Yahoo Mail begins like this:
While you’re reading the message (in the bottom pane), click the attachment’s name. (The name is at the pane’s top, next to a paper clip. The name is blue.) Click “Download Attachment”.
Windows Live Mail begins like this:
While you’re reading the message (in the bottom pane), double-click the attachment’s name. (The name is near the pane’s top-left corner, below the word “To”.)
Gmail begins like this:
While you’re reading the message, click “Download” (which is below the message).
If the computer asks “Do you want to open or save this file?”, click “Open”. (If the computer instead asks “What would you like to do with this file?”, click “Open it” then “OK”.)
If the computer says “A website wants to open web content”, click “Allow”.
If you’re using Gmail (which shows a list of attachments), click the file’s name.
The computer will try to show you the pictures and words that are in the attached file, by running the program that created the file. For example, if the file is a picture created by Paint, the computer will try to run Paint; if the file is a document created by Microsoft Word, the computer will try to run Microsoft Word. (If the file was created by software that your computer doesn’t own and your computer doesn’t know how to handle the file, your computer will gripe by saying “Open With”.)
When you finish looking at the pictures and words that are in the attached file, close whatever program showed it (such as Paint or Windows Photo Gallery or Microsoft Word) by clicking that program’s X button. (If you’re using Gmail, also close the window that shows the list of attachments.) You’ll return to seeing your e-mail program’s screen.
Multiple people
An e-mail message can be sent to many people. Here’s how.…
Multiple addresses
Outlook Express, Windows Mail, Windows Live Mail, and Yahoo Mail:
If you want to send a message to several people, put semicolons between their addresses. For example, if you want to send a message to the President of the United States (whose address is President@WhiteHouse.gov) and also to me (Russ@SecretFun.com), address the mail to:
President@WhiteHouse.gov; Russ@SecretFun.com
That little list of addresses is called the mailing list.
The space after the semicolon is optional. If you accidentally type a comma instead of a semicolon, the computer will eventually turn the comma into a semicolon for you.
Gmail:
If you want to send a message to several people, put commas between their addresses. For example, if you want to send a message to the President of the United States (whose address is President@WhiteHouse.gov) and also to me (Russ@SecretFun.com), address the mail to:
President@WhiteHouse.gov, Russ@SecretFun.com
That little list of addresses is called the mailing list.
The computer automatically puts the space after the comma.
Carbon copies
Here’s how to send a message mainly to the President of the United States but also send me a copy:
In the main address box (called “To”), type the address of the main person you want to send the letter to (which is President@WhiteHouse.gov).
In a box marked “Cc” (which stands for “Carbon copy”), type the address of the person you want to send a secret copy to (which is Russ@SecretFun.com). (If you’re using Gmail, make the Cc box appear by clicking “Add Cc”. If you’re using Windows Live Mail, make the Cc box appear by clicking “Show Cc & Bcc”.)
Here’s how to send a message mainly to the President of the United States but also send me a copy, and make the copy be secret, so the President of the United States doesn’t know the copy was sent to me:
In the main address box (called “To”), write the address of the main person you want to send the letter to (which is President@WhiteHouse.gov).
Make sure you see a Bcc box, just above the “Subject” box. (“Bcc” stands for “Blind carbon copy”.) If you don’t see a Bcc box yet, create it by doing this: for Gmail, click “Add Bcc”; for Windows Live Mail: click “Show Cc & Bcc”; for Yahoo Mail, click “Show BCC” (which is near the screen’s right edge); for Outlook Express, click “View” then “All Headers”.
In the Bcc box, write the address of the person you want to send a secret copy to (which is Russ@SecretFun.com).
Replies
While you’re reading a message you received, here’s how to send a reply: click either “Reply” or “Reply All”.
If you click “Reply”, your reply will be sent to just the person who sent you the message. (Yahoo Mail permits this shortcut: instead of clicking “Reply”, you can just tap the keyboard’s R key.)
If instead you say “Reply All”, your reply will be sent to the person who sent you the message and also to everybody else on that person’s mailing list. Here’s how to say “Reply All”:
Outlook Express & Windows Mail: click “Reply All”.
Windows Live Mail: click “Reply all”.
Yahoo Mail: click the Reply button’s down-arrow then “Reply to All”.
Gmail: find the rightmost Reply button (which is near the screen’s right edge); click that button’s down-arrow then “Reply to all”.
For example, if Bob sends a message addressed to a list of three people (you, Sue, and Jill) and you want to reply, click either “Reply” (which will send your reply just to Bob) or “Reply All” (which will send your reply to Bob and also to the other people on Bob’s mailing list: Sue and Jill).
Type your reply, such as “Thanks for your email; you made me laugh” or “I love what you wrote and want to marry you” or “I think you’re nuts and should be locked up”.
Below your typing, the computer shows a copy of the message you’re replying to. (If that copy is long, abridge it or delete it by using the keyboard’s Delete key.)
Click the Send button. The computer will send what you typed, along with a copy of the undeleted part of the message you’re replying to.
Forward
While you’re reading a message you received, here’s how to send a copy of it to a friend.
Click “Forward”. Type your friend’s e-mail address.
Press the Tab key several times, until you’re in the big white box where you can type a message. Type a comment to your friend, such as “Here’s a joke Mary sent me.” Below your typing, the computer automatically shows a copy of the message you’re forwarding.
Click the Send button.