HorrorScope

• Aquarius (Jan20~Feb19) ~~ Pisces (Feb20~Mar20) ~~ You have a vivid imagination and often think you are being followed by the FBI or the CIA. You have minor influence on your friends and people cuss you for flaunting your power. You lack confidence and are generally a dipshit.
  
• Aries (Mar21~Apr19) ~~ You are the pioneer type and think most people are dickheads. You are quick-tempered, impatient and scornful of advice. You are a prick.
• Taurus (Apr21~May 20) ~~ You are practical and persistent. You have a dogged determination to work like hell. Most people think you are stubborn and bull-headed. You are nothin' but a goddamn communist.
• Gemini (May 21~June 20) ~~ You are a quick and intelligent thinker. People like you cause you are bisexual. You are deluded and expect too much for too little. This means you are a cheap bastard. Gemini are notorious for thriving on incest.
• Cancer (Jun21~Jul22) ~~ You are sympathetic and understanding to other people's problems, which makes you a sucker. You are always putting things of. That is why you'll always be on welfare and won't be worth a shit. Everybody in prison is a Cancer.
• Leo (Jul23~Aug22) ~~ You consider yourself a born leader. Others think you are an idiot. Most Leos are bullies. You are vain and cannot tolerate honest criticism. Your arrogance is disgusting. Leo people are thieving motherfuckers and spend most of their free time kissing mirrors.
• Virgo (Aug23~Sept22) ~~ You are the logical type and hate disorder. This shit pickin' is sickening to your friends. Your cold and unemotional and often fall asleep while fucking. Virgos make good bus drivers and pimps.
• Libra (Sept23~Oct.22) ~~ You are the artistic type and have a difficult time with reality. If you are a male; you are probably queer. Chances for employment and monetary gain are nil. Most Libra women are whores. All Libras die of venereal diseases.
• Scorpio (Oct23~Nov21) ~~ The worst of the lot. You are shrewed in business and cannot be trusted. You shall achieve the pinnacle of successbecause of your total lack of ethics. You are a perfect son-of-a-bitch. Most Scorpio's are murderers.
• Sagittarius (Nov21~Dec21) ~~ You are optimistic and enthusiastic. You have a reckless tendency to rely on luck since you have no talent. The majority of Sagittarians are drunks. Nixon was a Sagittarian. You are not worth the time of day.
• Capricorn (Dec22~Jan19) ~~ You are conservative and afraid of taking risks. You are basically a chickenshit. There has never been a Capricorn of importance. You should kill yourself.

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