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Feb. 16, 1998

By lunch today, everyone knew about the mall experience. Apparently, Jenna had told all the guys about "Baby Mermaid." I usually sat with the "nerds" but even today, the "nerds" left me, I had my very own lunch table, all to myself. The teachers never noticed me, even in class, because I never get in trouble and I never talk because I'm afraid of getting made fun of. No one but the snobs want to ever get involved with me, for a practical joke or teasing. They don't want to be seen with me, unless they're making fun of me. This really nice lady, a school counselor, came today to say that she was going to be around every day, and you can go talk to her, but you have to schedule an appointement to talk to her. Mom wouldn't dare let me go if I asked her, because then, social workers might take me away from her because of our financial problem. I just KNEW that Mom just mom wasn't right these days. It think she's really stressed, because she gets upset really easily, and stays in bed all day sometimes. That's why I went to the store today, because mom didn't feel up enough. I should have known that she was up to something. There was a very large family that had two REALLY big guys and a women along with maybe 6 or 7 kids and a mom and dad. Girls that went in and out started to scream. I wasn't sure who they were. They had three older kids, I thought that they were boys,
although they had long hair, and two in between girls with beautiful blonde hair, and a young, maybe 3 or 4 year old boy who kept running away and was just sooo cute. Also, a baby girl. She was darling. They seemed like a really loving and caring family, and I envied them. I passed by them in the cereal section, and the middle oldest boy said, "Oh, no, not another one," which offended me, and I started to cry because of my emotional build-up that I had held inside me for such a long time. He came over to comfort and soothe me, and said, "Oh, I'm sorry, I thought that you were a fan of ours, who would scream hysterically went you went by. Here, lemme help you up." One of the big guys said, "Taylor, be aware, you don't know her. Now run along, missy." The mother said, "Now, Jason, I think we can handle this one. Hon, what's your name?" "Carmeleta," I answered. She said, "Hi, Carmeleta! I'm Diana, and this is my husband, Walker. And Jessica, Avery, Mackenzie, Zac, Isaac, and, of course, Taylor." "Nice to meet you. There is one thing I want to know. Why would I be a fan of you?" Zac answered," We're in a band called Hanson." "Oh, yeah," I said. "My friends are big fans. I don't have a radio, or a TV or anything, so, I'm pretty much helpless." And I told them about my friends going to the concert without me and all, and how I'm treated so badly. "Whoa," Isaac said. "Can we give her a ride home, mom?" "Of course, Ike," she answered. "Oh, no," I said. "Mom would kill me if a stranger drove me home." "Well, we're trustful strangers. We can help you," Walker said. "Okay, thanks," I answered with a weak smile. They dropped me off at home, and Taylor helped me with the groceries. He said he'd wait and see if my mom was home, and I reassured him that she was. But he stuck around anyway. I checked upstairs, and there was a note that read:
Carmeleta, things just aren't working out. I'm depressed, you get a hard time at school, so, everything just has been miserable. That's why I'm going. Don't worry, I left Daria and Adrian in the back yard. I need to start over, and since dad left, we haven't been doing so well. I called child services, and they're going to try to temporary place you in a home tomorrow. You'll live. I'm sorry it worked out this way. You'll have a much better life. ~Mom~
Then, I broke down and sobbed, and Taylor signalled everyone to come in, and he comforted me. I thanked hime for accepting me the way I am. Would my life ever be okay again???

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Email: chagor@philly.infi.net