~*Outside.. Outside Lookin' In..*~
I'm always the one the edge of the field
The one always longing to play
I'm the one who gets hurt the easiest.
Always in night or in day
I'm the one who peers in the window
Watching the others have fun.
I'm the one who watches in the distance
Watching the others have all their fun.
I'm the one who is all alone
Not a single soul is like me
How I do wish I could be them
And in return they could be me
One does not know what it is like
To be alone, truly alone, until one has been there.
I am the one who has always been out of bounds
Never asked to join in and play ball.
I am the one who is always criticized
Even when alone, wandering down a hall.
They look and ask...
"Who is that lonely person?"
"Why is she all alone?"
"What has she done to deserve this?"
"Or has she done anything at all?"
How much I try, and try and try.
And when it has all failed I try some more.
And for all my trying what do I receive,
But in my face the slamming of the door
BOOM! Right in her face.
SLAM! Knocked right off her feet.
The only thing left to do right now,
Is making a hastened retreat.
"Why do they ostracize her?"
"What has she done to them?"
"It looks like all she ever wanted
Was to have a couple friends..."
Why DO they ostracize me!
What is it I have done?
All that I ever wanted was
To be included in on their fun.
I never really needed anything.
A kind word now and then would have been welcomed.
But what else can I say?
Words cannot describe my anguish.
My pain my feelings inside.
Words alone cannot describe the emotions that I hide.
"Why is this world full of torment?
Selfishness. And greed?"
And "why do they pick on this outsider, this child, this girl."
"She never had a choice of being brought into this world."
Someone please help her... her time is running out.
Never leave her alone, nor leave her in doubt.
I am the child on the edge of the edge of the field.
The one always longing to...
I am the girl whose image is seen...
In the window.
On the fringes.
On the edges of life.
I am the one who is outside...
I am the one who is always outside...
I am the one who is always outside... outside lookin` in.
~Gina N. © Spring` 96.