The Lonely...
As I stare out the cold paned glass of the rain splattered window..
I can only think of how alone and empty I feel..
No one understands me now..
Nor does anyone seem to see the world through eyes as sorrow soaked as mine have become.
I loved the life I left behind..
How sad is that.. when it was so miserable compared.. to what I thought.. I would be happy in..
I thought the world I was coming to.. would be roses and sunshine..
Instead I find.. hail storms and gloomy grey clouds..
I stare out the window.. pushing aside the tea stained tan curtains and stare..
I stare for the reason I have nothing but staring to do...
Wishing and longing to be part of a world..
A world that has little tolerance or acceptance of one who can not comprehend.. or communicate..
I dream.. benath the cold mellow covers at night.. listening to the breathing of my mate..
Knowing he would not understand my sorrows...
So when the door closes with that gentle thud behind him in the morning..
It is then that the tears parse and slake down my soon to be moistened cheeks..
Reminding me I am not a person.. I am a non-entity here.. simply because I can not speak the words.. that they do..
I feel.. alienated from those I loved most.. and even the gentle pouncing of my pets are left behind..
A neon lit screen is a poor substitute for companionship.. and friendship..
The tears fall so freely now.. I wonder.. if I ended it all.. would anyone even care?..
I used to dream of a new life.. maybe even having real friends.. and I am alone..
No one to tlak to.. to do things with.. who wants to be near a person with no brain for what is needed..
Who wants to befriend someone who can not communicate back?.. Broken words..
No one knows what it is like.. to be deaf and dumb in the eyes of the world..
Not until they are... until they can not read or write or speak or communicate..
Until the world they live is no longer hears the cries begging for help.. for acceptance..
Until it is to late..
Dedicated to Shaun and Tam.. who understand Me..
-April 2004 by G.M.N. aka J. Elf.-