Chapter 9
"You and I must make a pact/ We must bring salvation back/ When there is love I'll be there/ I'll reach out my hand to you/ I'll have faith in all you do/ Just call my name/ I'll be there…" ~Jackson 5 ("I'll Be There")
"Mom?" a pale Leslie asked as she dabbed at her eyes with a tissue.
"I think I want to go home."
Jane and Bob looked to Nick almost guiltily. "It's OK," Nick assured
them. "It's getting late anyway and we've all got stuff to do tomorrow."
"Where's Aaron?" BJ questioned after a quick survey around the room.
"He's not back yet?" Angel asked.
"I'll find him," Nick volunteered as he stood up.
* * *
Aaron sat at the
edge of the in-ground pool with his feet in the water, his head down, and his
tears making tiny splashes in the still water. He still couldn't believe that
his brother had AIDS. This afternoon had been so perfect that Aaron was sure
he'd wake up any second from this Hellish nightmare.
Nick took a deep breath and opened the sliding door to step outside. As he moved
towards his younger sibling, Nick saw Aaron's tear stained cheeks.
"Hey," Nick said softly as he came up behind his brother.
"Hey," Aaron replied quietly, desperately avoiding Nick's eyes.
"You mind if I sit?" Nick questioned. Aaron shrugged in indifference.
Nick took the opportunity to remove his sandles and place his own feet into
the water of the pool. The two young men sat in silence for a few moments, neither
knowing what to say.
"I don't want you to die, Nick," Aaron said tearfully.
Nick placed an arm around Aaron in reassurance. "I don't want to die either."
"But I thought we were gonna take over the world like we used to. Who am
I gonna talk to? Who am I gonna call when it comes to girls?"
"I'll always have time for the girls," Nick responded, causing both
him and Aaron to laugh a little.
"But it's not going to be the same without you."
"I'm not dead, Aaron. You're talking like I'm already gone."
"I know that, but AIDS is so permanent."
"But I'm HIV positive. There's a difference." Aaron gave Nick a questioning
look. "If all my research is correct, I can live for years with HIV without
really getting the full AIDS virus. Like Magic Johnson. He's had HIV for years,
but he's still around. AIDS attacks your immune system and runs in the blood
and attacks the good cells instead of the bad ones."
"So you're not going to die?"
"Eventually, yeah, but not right now." There was another pause. "Are
you going to be OK with this?" Nick asked.
Aaron shook his head. "No."
Nick looked at the confused 16 year old and tried to understand how he felt.
Dealing with being 16 was confusing enough, but having to do it in the public
eye and now having to deal with a thing like AIDS wasn't making anything any
easier.
"Can I still call you?"
"Anytime."
* * *
Another hour and
a half went by before the entire Carter clan, minus Nick, packed up and headed
home. Sara and Nick stood in the driveway as they waved goodbye. The two were
holding each other in the light summer atmosphere.
"I saw you talking to Aaron," Sara said as she looked up at Nick.
"You did?"
"Yeah," Sara said with a smile. "And I came to a little conclusion."
"What would that be?" Nick asked with curiosity.
"You're gonna be a great dad."
"And your gonna be a great mom," Nick countered.
The wind blew gently and Sara shivered. "Let's go in," she said. "It's
getting chilly."
"And we've got to get ready for tomorrow," Nick sighed.
"We're almost done with this, Nick. You see how it's better just to tell
them and get it over with rather than waiting."
* * *
The next day, Nick
made another round of horrifying phone calls to his bandmates. Things went generally
as he expected. There were tears on the faces of all parties and disbelief in
everybody's hearts, but Nick did his best to reassure everyone that things would
be OK.
Kevin took the news the way Nick had expected: he fell completely silent before
he attempted to say anything. This made Nick nervous, but he knew that it was
Kevin's way of dealing with everything. He was merely taking it all in.
Howie had sobbed. Nick knew he would. Howie was too sensitive not to.
AJ's response was on that Nick knew he'd never forget. AJ simply went through
the roof. He had yelled and screamed, and Nick was pretty sure that he heard
the sound of something breaking in the background.
Then there was Brian. Besides his family, Brian was the toughest one to tell.
The two had shared so many secrets, more than with the others, so many events
that Nick wasn't sure he had the strength to actually tell him. But, yet again,
Nick had picked up the phone and called. It wasn't easy for either of them,
but Nick pushed himself and got through it.
"I've got AIDS," Nick had told Brian.
"No you don't, Nick. Don't even play like that," Brian had responded.
"I'm not playin,' Bri. I mean it. I have AIDS."
Then there was the silence. Nick loathed that silence with all he had in his
system.
"Are you OK with it?" Brian asked while taking a staggered breath.
Nick shook his head. Brian was still thinking of others even in a crisis like
this. "I guess so. I'm dealing."
The conversation was pretty normal after that. They talked about everything
in general. Then there was the ending of the discussion…
"I gotta go, Bri. Sara needs help with something for the baby," Nick
had said.
"OK, I'll let you go then." Brian paused. "If you need anyone
to talk to, I'm here, OK? Anytime."
"I know, Bri. Thanks," Nick responded. "Look, uh, Sara needs
help. I'll call you soon. Bye Brian."
"Bye," Brian said back almost dejectedly. "Oh hey, Nick?"
"Yeah?"
"I love you bud."
"I… I love you too. Bye." With that, Nick hung up the phone.
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