G.A.S.H.

A man is feeling very ill, goes to see his doctor, and is immediately rushed to hospital to undergo tests. The man wakes up after the tests in a private room at the hospital, and the phone by his bed rings. "This is your doctor. We've had the results back from your tests and we've found you have an extremely nasty STD called G.A.S.H. It's a combination of gonareah, AIDS, syphilis, and herpes!" "My gosh, doctor! What are you going to do?" "Well we're going to put you on a diet of pizzas, pancakes, and pita bread." "Will that cure me?" "Well no, but it's the only food we can get under the door.