Little Johnny 2
Little Johnny was 7 years old and like other
boys his age rather curious. He had been
hearing quite a bit about 'courting' from the
older boys, and he wondered what it was and
how it was done. One day he took his question
to his mother, who became rather flustered.
Instead of explaining things to Johnny, she
told him to hide behind the curtains one
night and watch his older sister and her
boyfriend. This he did. The following
morning, Johnny described EVERYTHING to his
mother:
"Sis and her boyfriend sat and talked for a
while, then he turned off most of the lights.
Then he started kissing and hugging her. I
figured Sis must be getting sick, because her
face started looking funny. He must have
thought so too, because he put his hand
inside her blouse to feel her heart, just the
way the doctor would. Except he's not as
smart as the doctor because he seemed to have
trouble finding her heart. I guess he was
getting sick too, because pretty soon both of
them started panting and getting all out of
breath. His other hand must have been cold
because he put it under her skirt. About this
time Sis got worse and began to moan and sigh
and squirm around and slide down toward the
end of the couch. This was when her fever
started. I knew it was a fever, because Sis
told him she felt really hot. Finally, I
found out what was making them so sick -- a
big eel had gotten inside his pants somehow.
It just jumped out of his pants and stood
there, about 10 inches long, honest, anyway
he grabbed it in one hand to keep it from
getting away. When Sis saw it, she got really
scared -- her eyes got big, and her mouth
fell open, and she started calling out to God
and stuff like that. She said it was the
biggest one she's ever seen; I should tell
her about the ones down at the lake by our
house! Anyway, Sis got brave and tried to
kill the eel by biting its head off. All of a
sudden she grabbed it with both hands and
held it tight while he took a muzzle out of
his pocket and slipped it over the eel's head
to keep it from biting again. Sis lay back
and spread her legs so she could get a
scissor-lock on it and he helped by lying on
top of the eel. The eel put up a hell of a
fight. Sis started groaning and squealing and
her boyfriend almost upset the couch. I guess
they wanted to kill the eel by squashing it
between them. After a while they both quit
moving and gave a great sigh. Her boyfriend
got up, and sure enough, they killed the eel.
I knew because it just hung there, limp, and
some of its insides were hanging out. Sis and
her boyfriend were a little tired from the
battle, but they went back to courting
anyway. He started hugging and kissing her
again. By golly, the eel wasn't dead! It
jumped straight up and started to fight
again. I guess eels are like cats -- they
have nine lives or something. This time, Sis
jumped up and tried to kill it by sitting on
it. After about a 35 minute struggle, they
finally killed the eel. I knew it was dead,
because I saw Sis's boyfriend peel its skin
off and flush it down the toilet.
