"we're going to take this biiiiitch (bench)..." - trading spaces
"pun'kin, if you don't shut up i'm going to sell you on ebay!" - vince
"what do you expect when your biggest daily dilemma is what shade of pink to wear?" - i love dev psych.
"that was my first burger out..." - katie beth
"aww, let's sing the lutkin." - vince
"(yelling) i'm sorry, you'll have to speak up. we have a volvo in our living room." - but at least the apt is fully air-conditioned.
"i don't even know what american myth is." - vince
"i think it's probably about folklore or something." - me
"huh?" - vince
"ya know, davy crockett..." - me
"davy crockett? what the FUCK?" - vince
"sadness fell upon the land..." - the closing in an email from kriley. it's so benjamin britten; i had to post it.
claviergrl: you're taking gvt this semester, right?
pianokenny: of course...i get to learn how to be late to a choir rehearsal and be manic depressive. can't wait.
pianokenny: let's fucking graduate already.
"let's get this straight. my name is NOT ozzie. and i'm not selling posters." - ashi
"dude, why won't your printer print?" - me
"uh...i don't know." - chris
"oh, wait. i know what's wrong." - me
"what's that?" - chris
"there are life savers in the paper feed." - me
"we have got to get her off wheels." - trish, on cheryl's wandering eye.
"fuck a donkey!" - dave, ensconced in roadrage.
"i got my jersey in the mail yesterday." - chris
"and...?" - me
"i tried it on and i look like a gay ballerina." - chris
"so, are you guys going to talk about anything besides alcohol?" - dave, to allison and me.
"where are you now?" - mom
"i'm on the ben franklin bridge. it's like, gridlock traffic at 11.30 at night, so ridiculous. but i'll be home soon." - me
"ok, well, take your time..." - mom
"mom. i'm in bumper-to-bumper traffic. i don't have much of a choice." - me
"ok, now we're going to move on to the next portion of the presentation..." - ed
"...the tape." - mike
"hmm...what's next..." - ed
"the tape...the tape..." - mike
"ok, let's just move on to self-motivation..." - ed
"ok, no tape." - mike
"i am like, so stoked to see the pope." - toronto's world youth day; a turn out of the best and brightest.
"there will be no ugly, out of shape lesbian action going on in this office." - chris, on cheryl and tina.
"i just thought i'd bring something to your attention." - me
"what's that?" - chris
"the fact that cheryl grabbed my ass a total of three times during the tour." - me
remind me again why i go back to pbp every summer?
"are you foreign or just retarded?" - kelly, to a sales rep.
"ok, you have to do something about the hoes in the training room..." - rebecca
"ok, you've got three seconds. three..two..one..bye-bye, johnny." - trish
"dude, you just got run over by jesus." - vince, after i was attacked on nassau street.
"their coffee's so bad. people who come into bucks started calling it 'third world.'" - the bucks county coffee opinion of small world's coffee.
"does it hurt?" - ben's question of concern as i was choking.
"unicle! it's like uncle with an i. but only one!" - we really liked our co-op. really.
"so like, what makes an interval perfect? does it like, have great hair? does it have shoes and matching belt?...do i look ok?" - every girl at princeton high school.
"that is sew ah-sum!" - yes, again, every girl at phs.
"you guys were so squirrly today." - chuck
"heh, we are every day." - kriley
"really? i never noticed." - chuck
"we'll be more obvious." - me
"girl scout cookies - not for resale." - patty.
"look at the dynamic. does it say 'lame?' no, it says 'forte.'" - remind me to never volunteer to run the freshman boys' choir rehearsals again.
"ooo, i hope scott's middle name doesn't start with a T." - kriley.
"i sat next to this man. his name was EF AYE." - pete, on ozzy, on FA.
"more like spongebob no pants!" - kriley, on one of our phs choir friends.
"abdick. don't leave home without it." - teaching at princeton high is an untapped resource for comedy.
"more geese? no thanks!" - kriley.
"oh, chuck's just a big teddy bear." - scott
"yeah, only on monday and friday nights." - kriley
"it's like crack; you won't have a problem if you don't start." - westminster's music ed program.
"all i wanted to do is print out the assignment! now it's printing out hearts and stars and all the other fucking shapes in a box of lucky charms!" - vince.
"let's just leave and get cocktails." - dr. kawarsky
"i'm in." - me
ahh, parade. the good times that were had...
"i wanted them to be in the moment; they wanted to be in the streets." - dr. abrahams on teaching in trenton.
"shut up, you japanese bitch!" - kazumi was annoying me on the bus. i had to do something.
claviergrl: so, would you happen to have any bach cantatas on cd?
pianokenny: nope
pianokenny: hate bach
"they don't have fuckin' pie." - some old man at the whitman diner.
"ken, i said 'wine and cheese', not 'hard liquor and fire.'" - although, i quite enjoyed the mix-up.
"where are the children's balls?" - yet another reason why i will not go bowling with kelly ever again.
"screw the freshman fifteen; girlfriend gained a whole freshman." - oo, let's leave this one anonymous.
"fifty grand doesn't give you character; it makes you poor." - kenny, on paying off collage loans.
"it's running slower than chapel choir learning text." - kenny, on ridernet.
"we're beginning to take over the world." - dr. abrahams, on the music ed department.
"it's only my piano music and i don't fucking practice anyway." - kenny, on the music he left in joe's room.
"excuse me, bartender, but this is the weakest drink...goodbye!" - mark's impression of a drunk anne robinson.
"not only do i have tenure, but i head the department that appoints it." - dr. kawarsky
"it's like drinking my backyard." - mark, on my coffee.
