I used to start my prayers by saying, “Hi God, It’s me AGAIN…..” I guess because in a way I was struggling with the fact that I had too come to Him in so many of my circumstances. I knew that God ha\d an unlimited potential and abundant patience but yet, it seemed like I was precariously close to the edge of even His understanding.

How many times had I asked forgiveness for the same things? How many instances of deception had I perpetrated? Was I approaching my limit of envy, greed, or improper thoughts? Had I approached my quota for ignorance or apathy to those in need of me? Would my understanding of the qualities of goodness be limited by earthly limits? I had reached the end of my rope in a few situations and now, again, I hoped there would be more. I have exhausted the limits of some of those I love.

So coming to the Supreme Being with yet another failure of faith, broken promise or misuse of trust, anxiety was my offering. I knew the commandments, I knew the expectations and yet when pressed to show my understanding through the goodness of my works, I often fell flat, short of the expectations of others. Which compromise had I made provided any benefit beyond the short term? What temporal conclusion had I come too measured up to expectations? And yet, like a fool to his folly I keep coming back again and again.

I have a Sin-o-Meter that will calculate your sin based on your input of your age and rate of sin. Believe that the numbers are staggering and yet as we face our daily routines, we continue on the same path of destruction. How many times did we expect the Lord to be there with open arms to welcome us back from the brink of exhausting our faith and His capacity? In Matthew 18, Peter asks Jesus how many times that our brothers sins against us, should he be forgiven, seven times? Jesus remarks not seven times but seventy times seven times. Jesus ‘ capacity for forgiveness is infinitely more abundant than that.

His capacity for forgiveness is only limited by our ability to bring ourselves to the foot of His Cross of Undertanding. Instead we hold on to all our mistakes, thinking we are not worthy of His Grace. I need to know the infinite bounty of His love, right now, tonight, cause I”ve fallen one time too many. Too many times for my own comfort, perhaps too many times for my expectation of forgiveness but just the right amount of times for my next blessing from Jesus.

I want to thank Christian disciples of music, Building 429 for providing the inspiration of this essay through their song One Time Too Many.