If the world was how it should be, maybe I could get some sleep

it seemed innocent enough, a few nights of restlessness, afterall there is a lot going on. With responsibility comes a price to pay and so, I just thought that this was the price. In a few days when my body required it, I would fall soundly into peaceful rest. Then a few nights turned into stretches of them. But time will catch up and everything will even out.

A dog is parking, a car horn blows and that whistle meant to instill peace, blows, inflaming every nerve. The mind begins first, to digest the surroundings, then as if will could rule I try to go back to sleep. The events of the day begin the parade across my mind and sleep becomes a foregone conclusion.

For me, issues of family and how to maintain, to keep the peace and synergy it takes to remain a functioning body. A close look at how everyone is coping with the chasing of one’s pillow and plate, the dynamics of work and school and social calendars all become a dizzying whir, a ball of confusion. Whatever happened to the mental health days where everything was let go so that one could refresh and rejuvenate their senses? Time has whisked that away. What demands could there be to further infringe on a schedule? Manipulations made to keep the train of life on the right road, not always centered on the white line, but absolutely held from road’s edge.

For work, watching and planning, pushing and stretching the normal to see where the breaking points are. Watching what they do, in respect to what the company is saying. Not being complacent with where they are but trying to anticipate where they are going. Instead of three or four family members the number now at 70 or 80 members, each unique with issues. Personalities that sometime grate and chafe, ethics, work practices, and patience and understanding that the ills of one’s own family problems often spill over and onto those around them. The dynamics of the workplace is a shifting paradigm that sometimes requires more then the 24 hours allowed in one day.

Personal issues of health, and well being. My own fears and concerns for those around me, for the socio environment. AM I considering all applications to make effective the effort that is being put forth for success and growth? Where am I in my walk and journey of faith, am I honoring the Lord, my God in my thoughts words and deeds? When it is decided that my work on earth is done, will, when I advance against the gates of Heaven will I hear the words every man of faith wants to hear, well done my good and faithful servant. Perhaps it is the whole issue of morality to wonder how and where and if my efforts have borne fruit for the harvest of the kingdom.

the issues flow together and the start of one demand crosses over transforming into the end of the last. Definition and expectations of demands becomes a wonder rather then a absolute. The tear between what is being done and what is left to do. Caught in a vortex of the past with no sight to move ahead.

The morning began with being spoken to by a voice that transcends the cacophony of the day. It came as it often does, in the words of the music I listen too. In these extreme days, mercy cuts so deep and the only truth is the rock that the pain will be worth the thunder. The only answer is to plea to God for help, to raise your hands in the air and call out Oh My God (jars of clay) in confidence that He will answer your prayers. If the world was how it should be, maybe I could get some sleep.

The truth is that the world is exactly how it should be, the pain IS worth the thunder and when I learn to surrender my fears, worries and concerns to the Lord Jesus Christ, I will find the restful, peaceful rest I seek, in the comfort of my Lord……