It's Pimp Time!
How to be a pimp, without really trying.
1. Call Tom McGreevy for lessons. 1-800-MAK-DAD1
2. Never wear socks... It's easier when your getting in the sack.
3. Carry no less than $2k in cash, but not in your wallet.
4. Get a huge pager, that way you can hear it in the sack.
5. Wear lotsa jewlery.
6. Grow Bitch-ass sideburns.
7. Get a convertible...
8. Talk with a very deep voice... I'm talking Shaft deep...Damn Straight.
9. Grow a goatee... This makes up for the sideburns...
10. Tap lots of ass.
11. Carry a Tec9.
12. Carry a wire hanger and a lighter.
What to do with your hoes.
1. Be polite... An angry ho is an unproductive ho.
2. Don't be afraid to rough up people who owe you money.
3. Drive them everywhere.
4. If you got enough cash, give them cell-phones.
5. Always check up on your hoes at home.
6. Buy them gifts. Diamonds are nice.
How to kick someones ass
1. Gat them with your tec9.
2. My personal fave: Heat up a wire hanger with your lighter, and proceed to slap the shit out of the fool who dares not pay.
3. Slap them, pimp style.
How much to charge.
1. If she is hot: She sets her own rates, and you keep 50%
2. If she is ok: She sets her own rates, and you keep 75%
3. If she is ugly: WHY THE FUCK IS SHE IN YOUR STABLE? YOU NEED BEAUTIFUL BABIES.
HOT PIMP NEWSFLASH
Pimp Daddy Cox and Silky Smooth have combined their stable, therefore unifying the two greatest pimps in the world. This new ultra-stable will consist of only the finest honies money can buy, cuz it's all about the benjamins. Silky Smooth has released a statement in which he declares that he will be leaving the proffesional pimping business in June, so he can continue on with his education. Pimp Daddy Cox will step up to be the head Daddy of the Bitches. Silky will continue to oversee the business, but will let Cox call the shots.
Email: downsideleft@hotmail.com
