You walk down the streets
of egggtown, looking for a place to stay and warm up. You can hear
the sounds of dancing and
laughter coming from up ahead. Stopping, you pause a minute to
take in what you see. Before
you is a large, three story building, easily the largest along the
highway, possibly the largest
in the city of egggtown. You step through the door and the
proprietor greets you warmly.
Well into the night the ladies of egggtown are still enjoying
themselves in the huge common
room. The proprietor bids you to sit and have a drink and
join in the merriment.
Shoes and Shirts Required. Bra and Panties
Optional !
Welcome to...
Ladies' Night Out At
"eggghead's Tavern"
But Wait...
Before you enter...
eggghead's Tavern is open for
ladies only!
I'll be keeping my eyes open for any men attempting to sneak in!!!
Bruno is my bouncer watching
the door. He will pat down, frisk, touch, feel, and generally grope everyone
coming in.
If he should happen to find
any *non-female* type anatomical parts on your person, he is under orders
to place them between his palms and press firmly.
Show 'em how you do it, Bruno!
Good boy Bruno... you can go
sit down now.
Besides, if any of you men
did happen to make it in, you can't help but feel inferior! And the ladies
would probably just laugh and throw popcorn at you. Save yourself the embarrassment,
turn back now!!!
A man was talking to God and
asked Him "God, why did you make women so beautiful?
God replied "So you would
find them attractive".
Then the man asked "But God,
why did you make them so dumb"?
God said "So they would find
you attractive"!
~*~*~*~*~
Hi Ladies. My name is Biff. I'm your
coatcheck guy for this evening. I need to take your coat because it's quite
obvious that I don't have one of my own!
Belly on up to the bar
ladies... egggys buying!
Hi Ladies. My name is Boff.
I'll be your waiter this evening. Please feel free to feel me! Tip generously,
though, 'cause I'm saving up to get my teeth fixed.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Ladies, who loves ya???
If you wanted something non-alcoholic,
well, You got it!!!
This Is egggy's own special
concoction. I call it the
"Pink Possum"
It's cherry soda with a frothy
cream topping. I float a few black olives in it for color and texture.
ENJOY!
Good evening, ladies
. We are Buff and Beef. We are available for your dancing pleasure this
evening. If none of you cares to dance, well that's o.k., because we actually
prefer to dance with each other anyway!
A woman could never get her
husband to do anything around the house. He
would come home from work, sit
in front of the tv, eat dinner, and sit
some more--would never do those
little household repairs that most
husbands take care of. This frustrated
the woman quite a bit.
One day the toilet stopped up. When
her husband got home, she said
sweetly, "Honey, the toilet is
clogged. Would you look at it?" Her
husband snarled, "What do I look
like? The tidy-bowl man?" and sat down
on the sofa.
The next day, the garbage disposal
wouldn't work. When her husband got
home, she said, very nicely, "Honey,
the disposal won't work. Would you
try to fix it for me?" Once again,
he growled, "What do I look like?
Mr. Plumber?"
The next day, the washing machine
was on the blink. When her husband
got home, she steeled her courage
and said, "Honey, the washer isn't
running. Would you check on it?"
And again was met with a snarl, "What
do I look like? The Maytag repairman?
Finally, she had had enough. The
next morning, the woman called three
repairmen to fix the toilet, the
garbage disposal, and the washer. When
her husband got home, she said,
"Honey, I had the repairmen out today."
He frowned, "Well, how much is
that going to cost?"
"Well, honey, they all said I could
pay them by baking them a cake or
having sex with them." "Well, what
kind of cakes did you bake them?" he
asked. She smiled. "What do I look
like? Betty Crocker?
~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Ladies, I'd like to introduce
you to "Baff". He just hangs around to be looked at. He has no other purpose
in life that I've ever been able to determine. I think he must have a sore
wrist, cause he always walks around holding it!
Ladies, my name is "Herc".
In the event that any of you should over-do the merriment here tonight,
my job is to get you home safely.
***
I'm not really a designated
driver, as I'm much to stupid to pass a drivers license test.
***
What I actually do is pack
you into your car, then I pick up the car and carry it to your house!
Hey, don't laugh... it
works!!!
Girls, please don't mind him!
He's just some Lounge Lizard!
~*~*~*~*~
The elderly woman took her hard-of-hearing
husband to the doctor for a physical.
When the doctor entered the room
he said "The first thing I want to do is take your blood pressure".
The old man turned to his wife and
bellered "What did he say Ma"?
His wife screamed loudly "THE DOC
NEEDS TO TAKE YOUR BLOOD PRESSURE"!
The doctor proceeded and told the
man "Now I need to take your temperature".
Again, the old man turned and asked
"Ma, what did he say"?
And again she yelled back "THE DOC
NEEDS TO TAKE YOUR TEMPERATURE"!
Finally the doctor told the old
man "In order to complete my exam, I'll need a stool sample, a urine specimen
and a semen specimen".
Once again the old man hollered
"What did the doc say Ma"?
The old lady hollered back"THE DOCTOR
SAYS HE NEEDS YOUR UNDERWEAR"!!!
~*~*~*~*~
Well ladies, did you enjoy
yourselves? I certainly hope you had fun at eggghead's.
If you did, drop me a note
and let me know. If you think I should be staked out naked on an ant hill,
let me know that too!
~*~*~*~*~
I Love you eggghead. Really I do !
Email: Click here for eggghead's
Mail Box
Let's
go visit eggghead's Hot Tub !
Counter reset on January 2nd, 1998
