Occasionally Coach Rettig will come by and chip in an amazingly funny but clean joke. Right now there are not many, but the page is still new
"Two peanuts walking down the road, one was assaulted."
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"Two carrots are walking down the street when a car careens out of
control and hits one of the carrots. The remaining carrot calls the
ambulance, they come and pick up the hurt carrot. Once at the
hospital, they rush the hurt carrot into the operating room while the
other carrot sits and waits for word of whether his friend will live
or die. Two hours go by, no word. Four hours go by, the carrot is
frantic! No word! Finally a doctor comes out but tells him it's too
early to tell.Six hours go by and a doctor comes out with a serious look.
"Doc,Doc! How's my buddy?", "Well son, I have good news and bad news.
He's going to live, but he's going to be a vegetable for the rest of
his life!"
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"Matt Myers, get in front of the ball, and if you dont have a cup for your little noogies, you can get one at Toys R Us"
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"A guy walks into a bar with a dummy on his shoulder, the other guys asks him where he got, so he says a people store."
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"Have you ever noticed, I dont swing and miss? It's because I used to hit a lot of ground balls back in 65' to impress a one Shannon Leotard, who I just happened to be dating in 78."
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"Myers, you call that a throw, I once knew a one legged girl who threw better than you."
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Brian Bonner said he was tough when he didn't take pain pills when he had his appendix out.
"You call that tough, when I had appendicitis, I took it out myself"
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Jimmy D comments that his side hurts in gym.
"When my side used to hurt I would jam sticks in me so the pain would go away"
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"Back in the 60's, kids were born, breast fed, then they learned to bunt"
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"Most kids got dolls when they were kids, Me, I had a brick with a face painted on it."
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"One night I fell asleep in a stable and woke up a little hoarse."
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"Bonner, you call that a stance? It looks like your taking a crap in the woods."
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"Rob, do you have your cup?"
"Sorry coach, I forgot it."
"Thats ok Rob, you don't need a cup for your little noogies anyway."
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Cale Shoemaker comments that it is hot.
"Hot? Back in the 60's, kids called this weather winter."
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-Coach Rettig
Send any suggestions, comments, or concerns to
Brian Bonner
