This is a journal/flashback story. It is Hilary's journal, just so you don't get confused. This is my first fanfic, so it might not be the best you've read, but I like it.
Disclaimer: The characters of Hilary Booth and Jeffrey Singer do not belong to me. This story however, is mine.
July 14, 1941: Everyone noticed. I tried my best to act at least normal, but my depression seeped threw that facade. I can't help it, today's her birthday, and her mother isn't with her. She's six today. I wonder, does she look like me, does she know about me? I miss her almost, but how can I miss something I never knew? Maybe miss is the wrong word. Maybe, long for? I don't know, whatever it is, it hurts more than anything.
Hilary closed her journal. Enough for tonight, she thought to herself. Time for sleep.
Several hours later, Hilary was still trying to get to sleep. She just kept thinking of that summer, six years ago. That year away from Jeffrey...
September 1, 1934: Here I am, in New York City, Jeffrey and Is "honeymoon". We were granted this because we got married. But they don't know about the divorce. Both Jeff and I decided we needed this trip apart, so we could figure ourselves out. He didn't tell me were he was going, but its not here. He assured me, he wasn't coming here.
September 5, 1934: It's rather boring here. I haven't found anything really exciting. I go to The park a lot. I sit and look at trees. I sometimes sketch them, but not often. I would go to a show, but my funds don't allow it. As I said before, I have nothing to do.
September 9, 1934: I met someone today, a man. His name is Ronald. He reminds of Jeffrey, but not really. He's tall with dark features, like Jeffrey's, but Ronald is a little more closed off. We met at the park. He saw me sketching, and asked if he could just look. I showed it to him, we chit-chatted, and he invited me to lunch. I thought it would be rude to decline, so I accepted. I don't really know anything about him, but he asked me out to dinner tomorrow. Something strange came over me, and I said yes. Well, you never what might happen with these things.
October 30, 1934: I have a lot to catch up on. Well, Ronald and I have started seeing each other regularly. I'm almost starting to think of him as my beau. He took me to a play, but for the life of me, I cannot remember what it was. I wasn't really paying that much attention. He's invited me to his house for Thanksgiving, and I told him I would think it over. I have some idea of what will happen at his house. No one ever accused me of being stupid. In a week or so, he will have his answer. I'm pretty sure it will be yes. It's not like I'm married to Jeffrey anymore. I bet you anything he's seeing at least three other women. But I'm not quite sure how I feel about it.
November 10, 1934: I gave Ronald his answer today. It was yes. I think I love him. He loves me though, he told me. I don't think he would lie to me like that. He's too, gentlemanly. I'm looking forward to it. This could lead to marriage, but I'm probably just putting too much into it. I never married John Barrymore, did I? Only 16 more days until Thanksgiving. I sound almost school girlish, I'm so excited.
November 25, 1934: One more day, one more day! The anticipation is killing me. Ronald has been so sweet since I agreed to this. He was sweet before, but now even more than before. I don't really think about Jeffrey anymore. I wonder if he thinks about me. I hope he forgets me, because I think I might forget him. Ronald might just be my one. I can sense it in him. He really loves me.
December 1, 1934: Thankgiving was wonderful. It was everything I hoped it would be. Who knows, maybe Ronald and I will get married soon. Just like him, he invited me to spend Christmas with him as well. And like me, I accepted. He is my one, and I'm his. I feel so in love. I love him, I know that for sure. I wonder how Jeff will take this. He has some feelings for me, I can't say either of us knows what they are. I hope he finds someone for him, like I found Ronald. Jeff is a wonderful person, I hope he doesn't spend the rest of his life alone.
December 23, 1934: I went to the doctor, and its official, I'm pregnant. I never once thought about this. I told Ronald as soon as I found out. He was furious. He hates children. He told me that himself. I can probably safely say we our finished. I guess I was wrong after all. He never loved me. I let people in and I get hurt. Now I have to deal with this.
December 24, 1934: I've decided adoption would be best. I can't raise a child. I'm going away. I can't let anyone know, including Jeffrey. Most of my things will stay here, but I will be coming back, in July or August, after it's born. >From there I guess back to Jeffrey. Maybe we can actually live together.
July 24, 1935: I'm back. I got back yesterday, but I just went to sleep. It was a girl, Laura. Her new parents named her. They seemed like good people. It was the best thing, but I can't help but wonder, what will my daughter be like?
Hilary was still trying to get to sleep at one in the morning. "I give up," she declared, and made some tea. She knew the rest of the story. Jeffrey and her agreed to pretend to be married. They lived together as the seemingly happy married couple. He didn't find out about Laura. And he never will, Hilary thought to herself. He never will.
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