Need I remind you...Disclaimer: Remember WENN and its characters were created by and belong to Rupert Holmes. The show is produced by Howard Meltzer Productions, and was broadcast on American Movie Classics. No copyright infringement intended.
May 19, 1943
To: General Marcus Weiskopf
From: Colonel Hans Krueger-Schmidt
Commandant, Stalag 15
Re: Prisoner-of-war transfer request
General Weiskopf,
Greetings! How are you doing, sir? And how is your lovely wife Anna doing? I hope she is over that bout of influenza she was suffering from when I last visited your estate.
This is difficult for me to write, sir, since it shows my command in somewhat of a bad light. However, I feel the matter is important enough for me to communicate with you. I am writing in regards to one of my prisoners-of-war. This man, a lieutenant in the United States Army, has caused me nothing but trouble.
He started to be a problem the first day he arrived. He seemed an agreeable sort of fellow when we sat down to meet, he and I. As I outlined the rules and regulations regarding his stay in my camp, he listened carefully. When I finished, he smiled a very big smile, and said something along the lines of, "Sure thing, pop!" Of all the infernal cheek, to call an opposing colonel "pop". I had it in my mind to send him to solitary that very first day. But I curbed my temper, and issued him a warning. He nodded, and left the room.
The next time I heard from him, was from one of my sergeants. It seems this American lieutenant had attempted to bribe my sergeant for some foodstuffs. My sergeant, being a loyal German officer, of course refused, and at once brought the matter to my attention. (I continue to be amazed at the loyalty and intelligence of Sergeant Dobbritz, and may ask for a commendation for him soon; I will keep you informed.) I brought the American lieutenant into my office, and dressed him down. Again, he grinned another large grin. I instructed him that the next time he was caught attempting to bribe a German officer, he would be sent to solitary confinement. This time, he merely said, "Yes, sir" in response.
Two days after that incident, I discovered that the very same American lieutenant had attempted to stow away in a cargo truck in order to escape the camp. He was caught when one of my sergeants noticed a booted foot sticking out from under the rubbish in the back of the truck. The truck was then halted at the entrance, and the lieutenant hauled out from under the garbage. Once in my office, I once again wentover our rules and regulations. I told him I had no choice but to send him to solitary confinement for 14 days. He nodded resolutely. I must admit, I admired him for his bravery in the face of solitary.
This lieutenant proceeded to spend the next two weeks confined in a small, cramped cell. No visitors, no talking even with the guards who brought him the occasional morsel of food. When I say, "No talking", I mean the guards didn’t talk. The American lieutenant talked up a storm. The guards went crazy trying to shut him up. He would, when asked, remain silent. For about ten minutes. Then he would start up again. It was all the guards could do to ignore the lieutenant and his rambling. More than once, the guards reported hearing the word, "Betty", which I assume may be some sort of codename (An operation? An Allied VIP?). They also reported that he continued to refer to something called "W-E-N-N", which may have something to do with intercepting German radio signals, as he kept mentioning "radio" in connection with it. After his sentence was up, I brought him into my office. I grilled him about this "Betty" he kept referring to. All he would admit to was that it was the name of a "girl" back home in America. I, of course, refused to accept this, and intensified my efforts. The sterner measures of my "interviewing" has broken many a man in the past, as I don’t need to remind you. However, this American lieutenant once again proved his strength. He refused to divulge the information about "Betty". I was angry, and I ordered him out of my sight.
About one week later, the American lieutenant was once again caught attempting to escape. This time, he had somehow got a hold of a German sergeant’s uniform, and was attempting to leave the camp with a squad of soldiers who were passing through and had spent the night at our camp. He was caught when another German soldier in the squad asked him for a cigarette. The lieutenant, to his dismay, had automatically replied in English to the German soldier’s request. Once more, he was brought before me for another dressing down. I also attempted to learn where he acquired the sergeant’s uniform, but he remained silent about everything.
The following week, the American lieutenant was caught attempting to construct a primitive radio in his barracks. It was not a very good attempt, made as it was with spoons, forks, and bits of other damaged and broken radios taken from the camp’s rubbish dump. It seems he did manage to get the contraption to receive some signals, but he was unable to transmit anything. He was overheard to remark, when he was caught and dragged to my office, "Aw, geez, I was always better behind the scenes than on the air, anyway."
I sent the lieutenant to solitary once again, this time for three weeks. It seems that the lieutenant was much more quiet this time around. Again, he was overheard, but did not seem to ramble and talk incessantly like the previous visit to confinement. The guards did report to me, that occasionally, mainly late at night, they overheard him mumbling, "Betty, Betty, Betty" as though it was some sort of mantra to get him through the rough period of isolation. I simply had to crack him and discover the secret behind this "Betty" code!
Once he got out of solitary, I had him brought before me. He again defeated my attempts to break him. He repeated his preposterous claim of this "Betty" being a "girl" back home in America. Furious, I once again threw him out of my office.
The next day, I discovered a massive attempt to break out of my camp. It seems that a large number of prisoners, including this American lieutenant, had begun to dig their way out of the camp. They had not gotten far in their attempt. Sergeant Dobbritz, of whom I have already mentioned, discovered their tunnel during a routine hut inspection. He noticed an unusual amount of dirt in a particular corner of the hut. Underneath the floorboards was discovered the tunnel. At this point, after Sergeant Dobbritz had found the tunnel, the American lieutenant admitted to my sergeant that he was behind the whole thing, and that it was his idea. Several of the other prisoners began to deny this, claiming they themselves were the masterminds. But it seems the American lieutenant was adamant, and silenced the other prisoners, taking full responsibility himself.
Yet again, I brought this lieutenant in before me. Again I railed at him, angrily asking him why he kept on persisiting in this manner, attempting to escape. He claimed it was his duty, and said that he had to get out so he could one day return to this "Betty" that he claims to know back in America. Furious at this resistance to tell me the truth behind "Betty", I sent the lieutenant back to solitary confinement, this time for four weeks.
This time, he was very quiet. Only once did my guards report hearing anything. This time they overheard, and I assume it was while the lieutenant was delirious, the phrase, "Buy barley futures." Some sort of code phrase? A password to something? This man was infuriating me with his simple utterances and utter denial of anything important, intelligence-wise.
After another harsh grilling from me after his sentence was up, which provided no more answers than before, I sent him back to his hut. Since then he has been involved in no less than three more escape attempts.
And so, now I write to you. This man has been my largest headache. He seems friendly up-front, but refuses to be honest with me. It occurs to me that behind his big smile is something more, something I cannot discern. And all his talk, about "Betty" and "Wenn", but refusing to divulge anything. That has simply frustrated me beyond belief.
I request that you take this American lieutenant off my hands, and send him somewhere that may be more gifted at cracking the man. Might I suggest Stalag 13? I hear good things about it. The colonel there must be one tough officer. I would hope that under his care, we may learn much more from this devious, secretive American lieutenant. Because, in all honesty, I have tried everything, and failed.
I hope you take my request under advisement, and I hope to hear from you soon.
Attached to this letter are the official documents on this Lieutenant Scott Sherwood.
Sincerely,
Colonel Hans Krueger-Schmidt, Commandant, Stalag 15
P.S. Say "Hello!" To your charming wife Anna for me, will you?
May 30, 1943
To: Colonel Hans Krueger-Schmidt
Commandant, Stalag 15
From: General Marcus Weiskopf
Re: Prisoner transfer request
Request to transfer Prisoner-Of-War Lieutenant Scott Sherwood, United States Army, from Stalag 15 to Stalag 13 approved. By order of General Weiskopf, prisoner is to be transferred no later than June 15, 1942.
General Marcus Weiskopf
P.S. Anna says to say "Hello", and wishes to thank your wife for the cookies she sent.
June 17, 1943
To: General Weiskopf
From: General Burkhalter
Re: Prisoner-of-war transfer
General Weiskopf,
I must say, sir, that I find it extremely unprofessional of you to send such a rapscallion of a prisoner to a Stalag under my command. Indeed, the very idea of sening me someone you are having trouble with! How dare you? My commandant in charge informs me that Lieutenant Sherwood, within 24 hours of his arrival at Stalag 13, has escaped! Need I remind you that no one escapes from Stalag 13? Until now, it seems! In future, I would advise that if you request to send any prisoners-of-war in my direction, you consult with me first and foremost. I will submit to Berlin that this should be listed under your name as an escapee, as he must somehow have contrived to escape either in your camp or en route to mine, as there is no way he could have devised an escape once he reached Stalag 13.
I trust that in future you will keep me better informed of your short-comings.
Sincerely,
General Burkhalter
P.S. Anna says "Hello."
The End
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