My letter of October 1, 1990 had told the Constitutional Litigation Clinic of Rutgers University: "The attached materials indicate a long ... history of criminal interference with my rights under state, federal, and international law. In six years of struggle, I have not been able to secure the arrest and prosecution of those responsible or obtain effective advocacy." Law student Dwayne Warren wrote to me on November 19, informing me that the Clinic was unable to provide representation "in the matter you presented [scan]." He added: "You should be aware that we have no authority to initiate criminal prosecutions nor any special influence with the authorities that do." Had anyone, I wonder, informed the Rutgers Inquiries Team and Mr. Warren that civil rights attorneys may seek mandamus relief to compel recalcitrant public officials to perform their duties, as well as injunctive relief, instructing individuals and agencies to cease unlawful activities?

My attempt on October 20, 1990 to contact journalist Tim Weiner at the Philadelphia Inquirer produced no acknowledgment or feedback. I doubt that he ever saw my letter. He may, by then, have started work at the New York Times.

The late Professor George Wald of Harvard University, eminent scientist and human rights activist, sent me a condescending hand-written response dated December 18, 1990 [scan]. Using the same word Aryeh Neier had used the day before, he wrote that my letter was far out of his "scope." He described it as "very well written, deeply disturbing, no doubt characterized as deeply disturbed, paranoid." He wrote: "You have to do it all in your Self. Your Self is all you have." His final advice was: "Stop writing to strangers."

WBAI-FM in New York may not have received my first letter, dated September 18, 1990. I had written the address incorrectly. I wrote again on February 1, 1991, having heard Bob Fass and Tuli Kupferberg on the night of January 26. In the course of their bantering, Mr. Kupferberg had asked jokingly: "You don't have one of those machines here that read people's thoughts, do you?" Mr. Fass responded "Yes" and cut immediately to music. My three-page letter was never answered.

On May 9, 1991, WBAI rebroadcast an interview originally heard several days earlier in which California-based researcher and broadcaster Dave Emory discussed the Intelligence Community's use of mind control. He reported that devices generating microwaves could "do a number of things to actually kill people, physically kill people. Their brains can be controlled; subconscious impulses and thoughts can be placed in their brain while they're asleep; their thoughts can actually be read, and auditory and visual hallucinations broadcast into the brain." I phoned the station to thank WBAI's staff for broadcasting the truth.

After my divorce in 1991, possessing money of my own for the first time since 1988, I decided to seek political asylum in Europe. I planned a visit to Washington, DC to follow up personally my letters to the Dutch and Danish embassies and to make one last attempt at securing effective advocacy in my native land. My letter of June 5, 1991 to the Washington office of Human Rights Watch announced my intention to visit that office later in the month. There, on June 20, I learned that all the Helsinki Watch personnel were on vacation until July 8 (Helsinki Watch was then the division that dealt with the USA). Again, however, a young man appeared, looked briefly at my documents, and told me with a straight face that the organization does not investigate or report abuses within the United States!

The same day, and again two days later, I visited the Christic Institute, following up a letter written on June 5 and presenting some documentation. The tiny, cluttered, run-down office and the decent staff person occupying it -- a far cry from Human Rights Watch's plush space and high-handed staff -- suggested sincerity, but no attempt was made to get in touch with me at the motel, or later at home.

My European ordeal is recounted in "Hard Realities"." Briefly, the Dutch authorities, not wishing to offend my government, coerced me into withdrawing my asylum request. At Amnesty International's Amsterdam office on September 3, 1991, two staff persons listened patiently, but ended up questioning my mental health and suggesting that I see a psychiatrist. They would not offer any sort of advocacy or assistance.

I headed north. The Danish government housed me in a refugee camp, but rejected my asylum request without legal representation or right of appeal. On December 19, 1991, Danish authorities returned me against my will to the United States, having charged me more than two thousand dollars for the privilege. According to the US Embassy in Copenhagen, they had falsely described me as "apparently deranged" and "hospitalized here," while conveniently neglecting to state that I had sought political asylum.

My new apartment in Elizabeth, New Jersey was well within the New York broadcast area. On June 15, 1992, WBAI-FM interviewed Kenneth Roth, then Deputy Director of Human Rights Watch. Explaining his organization's criticism of Haiti's Aristede Administration, he said: " ... a human rights group must be concerned first and foremost with its credibility. It must report violations by whoever commits them, be it a horrendous military regime or a democratically-elected leader like President Aristede."

I took the opportunity to send a certified letter to Helsinki Watch in Washington, reporting violations of my human rights by the United States, the Netherlands, and Denmark. There was no response. Letters to Oregon Public Broadcasting (producers of "European Journal"), Western Public Radio (producers of "The Privacy Project"), WCBS-Channel 2 in New York (regarding the program "Intruders"), and to the late Samori Marksman at WBAI likewise went unacknowledged.

I phoned in to Bob Fass's WBAI radio show on the night of June 27, 1992, relating my experience as a refugee. Under severe heckling from other callers, I revealed some of the corruption at my erstwhile workplace, and eventually, at the end, mentioned the "stream of consciousness" mind-reading machine. The program ended with the animalistic guffaws of my hecklers. This was the same radio station, remember, that had broadcast Dave Emory's revelations the year before. A letter to Santiago Nieves at WBAI on August 1 regarding Rudolph Giuliani's tenure as US Attorney produced no feedback (16).

My only positive contact during 1992 was with Myra Reynolds of the Citizens Commission on Human Rights in Los Angeles, which deals primarily with the abuse of mental patients. Ms. Reynolds, though compassionate and interested, was not moved to publicize my situation. I must nevertheless praise her for her sincerity and decency, rare qualities these days.

There followed another trip to Europe. This time, despite advance notice, no-one at Amsterdam's Amnesty International office would even talk to me. American agents played sadistic cat-and-mouse games with me and stole several items, including a briefcase containing papers I had intended to submit in support of my asylum application (I didn't get it back until after my interview with the Dutch Ministry of Justice). The Dutch, whose country and culture I idolized, just about destroyed my faith in humanity. They rejected my appeal, forcibly repatriated me, refused me re-entry into the Netherlands, and apparently conspired to confine me in a Belgian hospital under psychotropic medication, then imprison me as an illegal alien to coerce my "voluntary" return -- disheveled and penniless -- to the land of my torturers. Three days later, a much-resented "guest" in my former wife's home, I attempted suicide by swallowing a handful of her Xanax pills. The hospitalization that followed put the finishing flourishes on a long campaign of psychiatric discreditation that had begun in 1984. Doctors now feel free to call me a victim of Delusional Disorder, though they cannot explain exactly what delusions I entertain.

16. Rudolph Giuliani was more recently Mayor of New York City.