ECW Houseshow Results
Steven Prazak is interviewing Ballaz Mahoney as the show opens. Ballaz asks Steven if he is a news man and Prazak says yes. Ballz says to Prazak to follow him, they'll go make some news. Or something like that. Now Ballz Mahoney takes Prazak Dudley huntin'. Ballz lays some random person out with a chair and where he gets to his destination he is told that the security team has 2 responsibilites. One is to keep Sabu out of the building(alluding to later in the night and the whole Sabu situation.) The second is to keep the Dudleyz isolated. Ballz starts to complain about how they attacked him while he was in the shower last week in Dalton, Georgia and then Sign Guy starts to come out and get into it verbally just a little with Ballz Mahoney. Nothing happens, but it's a distraction and from behind D-Von Dudley comes and plants Ballz with the steel chair. Now security gets the Dudleys away so that they can't do more and the opening rolls. Nice one here, says if YOU, not your girlfriend likes Ricky Martins Livin la vida loco or whatever that shit is, you shouldn't be watchin' ECW. Amen brah.
Styles welcomes you to Columbia, South Carolina and the Town Hall place aka a building that'll house a couple thousand drunk ECW fans for 3 hours breaking fire codes and having building violations...nah this building is kinda nice and it gets better as you will see in the forthcoming stages of this recap. So Styles takes us down to Steve Corino who's appendix is all fixed up and he's ready to rock the house and tear the Carolinas down more then the Hurricanes...BTW...fuck da Spurs...continuing...Steve Corino is in the ring and Corino is talking about some greats that have been through this building and all that crap. Corino says....guh...Ric Flair...and the crowd POPS. AN ECW CROWD POPS FOR RIC FLAIR. Now I know ECW hasn't been tearin' it up like 1994-1996, and my dawgs are sayin' ECW is getting more and more like WCW by the minute, but for chrissakes if you do go to an ECW Show do not...DO NOT...pop for Ric Flair.
Marc Middleton was at this show....remind me to smack him.
Ric Flair catching cheers in ECW...damnit whats the World coming too. Fuck the Carolinas. So Corino says he is the New Age World Champion and next ECW World Champion. Corino says he is in the Greatest shape of his life...and with that, cue the man from the Red Hook Section of Queens, NY...you know him as Taz...I know him as Tazmaniac. Man if I were on ECW payroll Paul E. would dock my pay for reliving the past like that, but I got nothing to worry about.BTW, Taz waited till Corino said he was in good shape to come out because if he would have came out Corino would have bitched about his appendix, but now? No can do. Here we go. A classic coming up...Taz gets in and Corino....damnit..Corino gets on the mic and starts to whine. Says someone(Cyrus i bet, asshole) steered him some wrong info and he was having an appendix attack...I had one of them, don't eat a Mickey D's Breakfast Burrito..."Fuck Him Up Taz Fuck Him Up" Chant begins as the Carolinas redeem themselves from the "Flair-pop fiasco" as we insiders like to refer to it as. Corino says there is peace in Kosova, why can't they have peace, Corino trying to grab his own little peice of Rodney King there, atta guy fella. Corino tells Taz if he wasn't hurt he'd beat him...and damnit...he would. Corino asks the fans if they want a World Title Match to give him a Hell Yeah. Hell Yeah. Corino says Hit my mans music....
"Back in Black...I hit the sack, don't you know it's so good to be back..." and out comes Chris Can....damnit...wrong tape, that was De-twoit(Detroit but in Canadian). No Candido this time and Corino is beligerant....you guys don't know what it means, so I'll throw it out there like I'm smart...Corino says he'll piss his pants...Taz says "why don't cha." Corino talks about his wife and his son. He whips out his wallet and shows Taz a picture of his son. Then they exit the ring to exchange stories about their babies keeping them up at 4 in the morning...check that...Taz says "I hope you kissed your son goodbye because I'm gonna fuckin kill you." And kill he does as he knocks Steve to the mat...but Highway to Hell starts up and out comes LSD:Little Spike Dudley. LSD hits the ring area and looks pissed. He gets in there as Taz asks the fans if they want to see this one FTW Rules style and even if those stupid Flair fans don't know what FTW Rules are, they say "yea, go for it." Taz starts beatin LSDs ass around now and Prazak is trying to interview Corino as Corino leaves. Corino is whining and thinking his nose is broken up ala Jerry Lynn.
Taz starts to take LSD into the crowd and up some stairs. This is where the building starts to get interesting. LSD gets dropped onto some chairs...and WOW...colored AND padded. Paul E. musta came into some money for this Arena. Now Spike gets tossed down the stairs and I guess they were pretty high up before, 'cause now they are down on the camera platform. Styles is going psycho because they are near him. Dude, settle down. Spike gets powerbombed through a table but then LSD is able to send Taz face first through a table and LSD tosses a ladder down on Taz. 2 count by LSD. Back to the ring. German Tazplex by Taz. Head and Arm Tazplex. LSD goes for the Acid Drop, but Taz slips out and fuckin kills LSD with a clothesline. Another Acid Drop time by LSD, but this time Spike turns it into a Kata-Ha-Jame aka The Tazmission for those of you not trained in Taz's Dojo like yours truly. Taz gets the win because the Kata-Ha-Jame always finishes the person off. Taz and LSD shake hands.
Some commercials and then Jerry Lynn comes out to beat some bitch named David Cash or somethin around the ring. They show the "discussion" last week between RVD and Lynn and Fonzie says "Bitter daddy" which was worth seeing again. Fonzie is worth every red cent of his bounced paycheck. Jason and Justin Credible come down to the ring and Jason is talking on a cell phone with Lance Storm who is chillin' with Dawn Marie somewhere else. Credible tells Jason to tell Lance that everything will be find. That's good. Rolling shoulder block by Lynn onto Cash. Jason and Credible leave. Cash sends Lynn into the guardrail. Clothesline by Cash when back in the ring and a Suplex...hell naw...Lynn with a Cradle piledriver....1...2......3..Lynn wins it. Then Lynn picks Cash up and nails him with another Cradle Piledriver...Lynn must be headed to the darkside now.
Super Crazy comes out now and he is taking on Yoshi Taj as Styles sends us to a bathroom where Danny Doring and Roadkill are making their locker room. Doring talks about some tag teams in the Carolinas and says that none of them are as good as him and Roadkill. Doring says Roadkill wants to give a mad shout out to someone. Honestly, he says that. Dastardly Danny Doring is cool. Doring does the Dastardly shuffle as Roadkill clears his throat to speak. Then Roadkill, who's a little shy, whispers to Doring, then says "Chickens" and does the plucking motion. NICE.
Back to action and Sal E. Graziano aka 600 pounds drops an elbow on Tajiri putting him through a table. Crazy goes at it with Guido and the Carolina crowd is chanting "Where's your pizza." Guido takes a moment out to respond by saying "backstage" and Marc Middleton yells to him "I'm yer master" as Crazy whacks him with a spinning heel kick. Crazy puts Guido into the crowd and climbs the balcony thing again...this would be perfect for The OG, New Jack...but alas...we'll settle for one hell of a Crazy Moonsault onto Guido. Now back to the ring and Guido with a fujiwa armbar. Crazy nails the Italian witha sit down powerbomb. Guido now distracts the official and Sal E. comes in, does a little shimmy, hikes his big ass shorts up a tad and wham...elbow to Crazy and Guido with a splash and cover..no, kickout. CHops by Guido and a rolling necksnap. Crazy then nails him with a DDT. Guido though turns Crazy over into a Sicilian Crab and in comes Tajiri! Tajiri snaps off some kicks that fuck Guido's vision over a bit and Guido goes down. Tajir killing Guido and the official makes this one a Three Way Dance. Tajiri and Crazy take out Sal E. and Crazy does a 1st turnbuckle moonsault, then a 2nd turnbuckle moonsault and finally a 3rd turnbuckle moonsault for the pin fall. Tajir quickly catches Lynn from behind. Brainbuster,1,2,3. Tajiri gets the win.
Justin Credibe comes out and The Dudleys are already in the ring and Credible says that Rob Van Dam has been ducking him and that he should have that TV belt around his waist. Credible says him and Storm will be tag champs. Cue the whistle. Here he comes, whistle blower extrodanaire, Bill Alfonso hits the ring and Alfonso says JC is only out there 'cause Sabu ain't out there to put him through a table. Middleton oughta put Jason through a table. Fonzie calls Credible a "lucky bitch." Fonzie says the Dudleys are just tralkin and talkin and now he can talk cause RVD is coming out in 10 seconds!!!! Fonzie says RVD is gonna smoke him all...NBCs City Guys producers freak once again...Here comes the F'N Show. and Credible skips out the back/front door. Van Dam taking on Brother D-Von Dudley and RVD hits a bodyscissors and then a hurracanrana. Then a cross body onto D-Von. Front kick by RVD. Van Dam hits a Sunset flip, but a powerbomb by D-Von. Credible out and Bubba gets caned 3 times over. D-Von attacks Credible and Jason goes to help Justin. RVD goes up top and launches himself onto all three. Both wrestlers back in the ring and going toe to toe. Van Dam with a drop kick into a chair into DVon. Sommersault leg drop by Van Dam, but D-Von with a Hangmans Neckbreaker from the 2nd turnbuckle. D-Von takes out the ref now and Bubba in with Sign Guy's sign and nailing Van Dam. Combo sit down powerbomb and neckbreaker by The Dudleys. Ballz Mahoney in. He takes down the Dudleys and puts D-Von on the ropes with an atomic drop. Fonzie holds the chair up for the modified Van Daminator. Sign Guy nails Fonzie out of the way and Ballz nails Sign Guy out of the way and Ballz holds the chair up. Modified Van Daminator and Ballz tries to wake up the ref. 5 Star Frog Splash. Mahoney puts on the refs shirt...1,2,3, Van Dam gets the win and then Van Dam realizes Mahoney helped him. Both men pushing each other now. Huge chair shot by Ballz as he holds the chair up and his music starts to play as the show ends.
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