[opening music] [wind] [clop clop clop] KING ARTHUR: Whoa there! [clop clop clop] SOLDIER #1: Halt! Who goes there? ARTHUR: It is I, Arthur, son of Uther Pendragon, from the castle of Camelot. King of the Britons, defeater of the Saxons, Sovereign of all England! SOLDIER #1: Pull the other one! ARTHUR: I am,... and this is my trusty servant Patsy. We have ridden the length and breadth of the land in search of knights who will join me in my court at Camelot. I must speak with your lord and master. SOLDIER #1: What? Ridden on a horse? ARTHUR: Yes! SOLDIER #1: You're using coconuts! ARTHUR: What? SOLDIER #1: You've got two empty halves of coconut and you're bangin' 'em together. ARTHUR: So? We have ridden since the snows of winter covered this land, through the kingdom of Mercia, through-- SOLDIER #1: Where'd you get the coconuts? ARTHUR: We found them. SOLDIER #1: Found them? In Mercia? The coconut's tropical! ARTHUR: What do you mean? SOLDIER #1: Well, this is a temperate zone. ARTHUR: The swallow may fly south with the sun or the house martin or the plover may seek warmer climes in winter, yet these are not strangers to our land? SOLDIER #1: Are you suggesting coconuts migrate? ARTHUR: Not at all. They could be carried. SOLDIER #1: What? A swallow carrying a coconut? ARTHUR: It could grip it by the husk! SOLDIER #1: It's not a question of where he grips it! It's a simple question of weight ratios! A five ounce bird could not carry a one pound coconut! ARTHUR: Well, it doesn't matter. Will you go and tell your master that Arthur from the Court of Camelot is here? SOLDIER #1: Listen. In order to maintain air-speed velocity, a swallow needs to beat its wings forty-three times every second, right? ARTHUR: Please! SOLDIER #1: Am I right? ARTHUR: I'm not interested! SOLDIER #2: It could be carried by an African swallow! SOLDIER #1: Oh, yeah, an African swallow maybe, but not a European swallow. That's my point. SOLDIER #2: Oh, yeah, I agree with that. ARTHUR: Will you ask your master if he wants to join my court at Camelot?! SOLDIER #1: But then of course a-- African swallows are non-migratory. SOLDIER #2: Oh, yeah. SOLDIER #1: So, they couldn't bring a coconut back anyway. [clop clop clop] SOLDIER #2: Wait a minute! Supposing two swallows carried it together? SOLDIER #1: No, they'd have to have it on a line. SOLDIER #2: Well, simple! They'd just use a strand of creeper! SOLDIER #1: What, held under the dorsal guiding feathers? SOLDIER #2: Well, why not?