My name is Sheila and I found out on August 26, 1998 that I was adopted. It was a family secret that was kept for 35 years of my life. It has changed my life dramatically! I'm still dealing with the fact that I'm adopted, a hurt inside that never seems to disappear. I have a very difficult search. I was born in Jacksonville, Florida on August 16, 1963. Mind you, because of the lies in adoption, I don't know if that's a fact but it's what I believe for now. My adoptive parents were 47 when they adopted me, so it was handled privately through an attorney in New York City. Yes, I have to deal with two states to get at my truth. New York denies me because I wasn't born and adopted there. Florida currently has my court order for release of information to an intermediary tied up in litigation. I feel like I may be so close yet so far. I plan to use this page to track my journey as I go after the truth. I hope you will join me!
I'd like to thank my cousin Kathleen for bringing the secret out of the closet. I could never be mad at you! I'd also like to thank my friends who have stood by me while I search, you know who you are. I couldn't have made it through all these months without you. A special thanks to the AIML and LDA mailing lists. I found you guys a week after I found out I was adopted and you have been a tremendous resource for support, understanding and ideas. Thank-you for everything!
13-15 May 99
Went to DC for a few days. I had originally intended to march in DC but couldn't find that group. Instead, I hooked up with fellow Bastards and rallied in front of the NCFA. It was an incredible experience as all members of the triad were present, rallying for open records. I met many wonderful people I hope to keep as friends over the years and heard many adoption stories from both adoptees and bmoms. I never felt like I was in better company since finding out about my adoption. I was no longer alone! I even adopted a bmom, Lury, while I was there. Hers was a wonderful story of courage and survival. She will always hold a special place in my heart.
26 May 99
So much has happened since I last visited my own site. The attorney in Florida at Vital Statistics has filed her second appeal to prevent the release of my birth records to an intermediary. She has turned this all into a very ugly experience. She told me by phone that I, as an adoptee, have no rights under the 14th Amendment! I contacted the ACLU today and am also hoping to have an attorney to help me soon. Since it has come to this point, I hope my fight for the truth will ultimately help ALL adoptees.
22 July 99
Well, the ACLU turned me down and Janine Myrick
kept filing appeals against my court order. I hired an attorney and am waiting for my case to be heard in the Florida Supreme Court. I am soooooo tired of this whole thing. I'm used to waiting but at the same time, the waiting is killing me. My birthday is coming up next month and I don't want to STILL be waiting. Will this bullshit ever end???????
1 Aug 99
As my first birthday approaches since I found out I was adopted, I wonder if it is indeed my actual birthday. Will "she" be thinking about me this month? I need to feel the pain of this whole thing again. I was so proud of myself when it didn't bother me anymore but now it has gone too far. I don't feel anything but anger. I want to cry and turn my feelings on again. It is my goal this month...to be human again. I want my personal life to get back to normal without adoption being the driving force in my life. My other goal is to still get into the storage unit and look for my adoption papers if they exist. With the excessive heat in NJ, this has not been possible. I want to take a step forward in all this by the end of the month. I want to believe this goal will be achieved and be disappointed if it isn't. We'll see.
29 Sep 99
The following is an e-mail I received last week from my attornies. I really hope Myrick just lets it go and let my birth records be released! I'm so excited. Between the opening of TN records (although contact veto is in place) and the Atlantic City Bastard Nation Conference coming up next week, I feel better and better about being an adoptee! Keep the positive thoughts coming this way. If we win in Florida, perhaps open records in Florida will be in the foreseeable future :-)
"Great News!!! The Florida Supreme Court has ordered the Florida Department of Health to Respond to our writ of Prohibition. This means that the Florida Supreme Court has made a preliminary determination that
we were entitled to have the Florida Department of Health's appeal dismissed for lack of jurisdiction. If the Petition is granted and the appeal dismissed, then the Florida Department of Health would have to
provide you with the birth record information.
For now, the Florida Department of Health must serve its response no later than October 6, 1999 and we may serve a reply on or before October 18, 1999. I will keep you apprised of developments."
12 November 99
All the replies have been submitted and I am again in "wait mode". On December 15, a panel of 3 judges will discuss my case. They then have up to 6 months to make their decission...which puts me all the way out to June! Unbelievable the things we must endure when trying merely to find out about ourselves. In the meantime, I'm having a "Help Sheila Get A Clue" party tomorrow. A group of friends will help me get into Dad's storage unit and search for any adoption paperwork that may exist. I hope...... I'm trying to keep busy by getting involved with TIES and NARD day. I really look forward to doing this and it gives great satisfaction. Thank-you Mary for getting me involved! I feel as though I have found a true friend in you :-)
11 Jan 2000
I can't believe I'm coming up on a year since I've had the court order! My case was discussed by three judges on Dec 15 and we are now in the wait mode to see what their decision will be. Waiting has become so much easier. At this point, no news is good news. We went through the storage unit and came up with nothing. At least that stone has been turned! I found some pictures, which I will eventually put here, that I believe are 1) when I was first brought home and 2) taken the day my adoption was finalized. I look at them often, wondering what was going through my parents heads regarding the "secret". Oh well. I'm starting to wear thin on this whole adoption thing and am considering just "dropping out" for a little while. I want my life to be normal again without the constant reminders of how much the laws that keep us children suck. I keep thinking there has got to be a way to hasten reform and change in each state but I haven't come up with anything yet to force change. The slow boat to change just seems so SLOW!!!
31 January 2000
Still waiting but my gut tells me the decision is coming soon. I don't know why this didn't stick out to me earlier but here is what is being asked for on my behalf in a brief from June:
A) Directing and ordering the Florida Dept of Health, Office of Vital Statistics to immediately comply with the Order Appointing Intermediary entered the 25th day January, 1999 B) Directing and ordering the Florida Dept of Health, Office of Vital Statistics to appear befor this Honorable Court and show cause why the Department and its Secretary should not be held in willful contempt for the failure of the Department to fully comply with the Order Appointing Intermediary. C) Awarding Petitioner reasonable attorneys fees and costs of this cause, payable in full by the Department. D) Granting such other and further relief as the Court may deem just and proper. Anyway, my attoney's have done an excellent job fighting for me and I will never be able to thank them enough. Now as for this WAITING!!!! I'm tired of waiting!!!!!!
12 Feb 00
Well, the waiting for the decision is finally over! On Feb 8, my attorney called and told me I have won!! I should be more excited but I'm not yet. I don't trust Myrick. She has 10 days to file for a rehearing, which she will probably do. Then my side files. Then it's either approved or disapproved. If disapproved, it really is over and my birth records will be released to my CI. The general feeling is that a rehearing won't be granted. Until I hear that, I can't be jumping up and down happy. But still, now I have thoughts in my head that I will know who my bfamily is no later than this summer. God I hope it's all good and true! Just a little more waiting....
25 Feb
It's over! This part of the journey if finally over!! Myrick didn't file. While I should be happy, I can't help but wonder what surprises she has up her sleeve. Now a new kind of waiting has set in. I find myself daydreaming about the bfamily I don't know. I'm sure I will be anticipating every call, every e-mail as the days draw out. It is now just a matter of time. The rollarcoaster has been stalled for so long, I almost forget what it is like to ride it! What if she can't be found? What if she is dead? What if she rejects me? I have to face the bad with the good and I hope I'm strong enough to do it. These are emotional questions that have potential to bring about a strong emotional response...am I ready? My first thought is, who cares, I've come to far now to worry about it. One day at a time. And support of my friends. I'll be fine...keeping my fingers crossed the happy fantasy wins out over the sad fantasies!!
1 March 2000
I was going to fill this entry with all kinds of bad language but I'm just too happy to do that. Just when I thought it was over, I got word yesterday that Myrick had filed an appeal. The decision in my case became mandate last week and I have won the war but she still wanted to do battle. Well, my CI filed the request for my records yesterday because she had the right to do so. The Dept. refused her request, thereby starting to stand in contempt of the court order. She called my lawyer, who in turn sent a legal nasty gram to the Dept. and the next thing he knows, Myrick is on the phone. After some discussion, she said she would release my records, which will be in my CI's hands tomorrow. She also dropped the appeal. It is really, really over and now the search process and whatever else lies beyond that begins. I'm finally really, really happy. Myrick is now just a bad memory! YIPPEEE!!!! Thank-you Steve and Rick. There's a great big hug coming your way when I get down to Florida!
19 Mar 2000
REUNITED!!!!!! On March 10, 2000, my life profoundly changed again! Around 8 PM, I received a phone call from my CI that my bmom had been found. Oh my God, at loud levels, was heard repeated over and over. It took about an hour to finalize the "legal paperwork" but around 9:30 PM, I heard my mother's voice for the very first time. We spoke for about an hour and then I had the wonderful opportunity to speak with each of my three brothers! What an indescribably awesome experience! They are all welcoming me with open arms...the fantasy I feared most to believe has come true! Mom's name is Sandy and I have an older brother Tim and two younger, Chris and Matt. The feelings of being overwhelmed have finally subsided enough for me to feel normal again. Sandy is going to come visit us here on the 24th and I will finally get to hold her in my arms. I can't wait. Then at the end of April, I will get to meet my three handsome brothers. There picture will be on my sight as soon as I can figure out how to shrink to a smaller size. The first time I put it up, it was like godzilla had invaded this page!!! Oh, and I'm Irish for sure! And the medical history is looking pretty good as well. There may even be a chance I can meet bdad some day, if he is receptive...contacting him is still in work via Sandy's friend Sandy. If he doesn't want to know me, he's missing out on a good thing. Well, this is the short of it for now. Stay tuned for reunion pictures in the next couple of weeks!!!! Happy days are here again!
28 Mar 2000
Yes, I'm slow to update! It's been busy, getting to know this wonderful new family of mine. Not only have I been reunited with bmom Sandy, but also bdad Gary. They have been both so wonderful to me! I could not have been any luckier if I had tried!! Over this past week-end, Sandy flew out from Illinois and we had a wonderful but too short week-end together. Over the next few weeks, I will be meeting Gary, Tim, Matt and Chris. I also have two more brothers, Erik and Scott. I look forward to meeting them when they are ready. And Gary's wife, Marlene, has been so nice to me. I can't thank you enough for accepting me into your life! I'll be putting up all your pictures soon so please come back and check. My connection is slow today so, it may not happen today but I will dedicate pages to my new found family. I love you all. As you have welcomed me into your lives, I welcome you to mine. Enjoy!
