Everything was different at home. In the six months I'd been gone everyone had changed, or maybe it was me who had changed. I settled in fine and even though physically I was doing okay, I couldn't stop crying. Sometimes I would just cry and cry and then wake up crying.
Christmas was hard. Kevin sent me a cute little pair of socks and some other things and even though I had sent him a gift too, it was just sweet of him. The next two months were also hard. But I finally got into a routine of exercise' and medicine and sleep and life went on.
One day, I had been upstairs putting some things away but as I was walking down the steps, I got really dizzy and fell. I remember hearing some people talking once in a while but mostly I was too weak to hear anything or try to open my eyes. Finally though I began to feel strong enough to try and see. There were a lot of people in the room when I opened my eyes. My parents, Anna and Aaron, my brother and sisters, and Kevin. It took a while for me to understand what my mom was saying but I finally understood. I had been in a sort of coma for three days and the doctors didn't know why yet. Dr. Smitt, who I had met once before at a check-up, came to talk with me. Said they were running some tests and wanted to do more.
"Mom?"
"Yes, Chloe?"
"I just have a question," I said when we were alone.
"What?"
"Why is Kevin here?"
"He kept trying to call you and then got really worried that something was wrong. So your father talked to him and he came right away. Because we
weren't sure if you were gonna wake up or not, sweetie." She said giving me a kiss on the forehead.
"Hey you! How are you doing?" Kevin asked when we were alone.
"Okay."
"When I heard you were unconscious I just had to come and see you."
"Thank you," I said sincerely. "It means so much to know you care."
"Chloe, I do care so much. I want you to get better," he paused as if
thinking about what else to say. "Do you have any idea what might have caused this?"
"Actually I was thinking about that. I think I might have taken too much
red medicine or not enough yellow because it seems like they got mixed up. But I don't know?
"Maybe we should have the doctors check on that?"
"Yea," I said.
"I'll talk to them," Kevin said going to get the doctor.
It took almost two days for the results of the tests. I was so worried because Dr. Smitt had been really honest with me, and told me that his guess was the cancer was reoccurring. Amazingly, the strongest person in the room was Kevin. He told me not to expect anything because it was always the least expected thing. One time when he was out in the hall on the phone, where he thought I couldn't hear him, he told Brian:
~~~ I can't come back yet…No Chloe needs me here…So because we aren't
engaged anymore means I
~~~ don't love her?…Rok, please understand…Do it without me…I promise we'll
record as soon as I am ~~~ back…Soon, I just need to know she's okay…We get
the test results in a couple of days…You were ~~~ there when my dad died it
happened so quick, we didn't think we were going to lose him then…But we ~~~
did, I just can't let that happen again…I love you too, bye.
It almost killed me just hearing him talk like that and knowing how much he
was hurting too.
"Chloe, no matter what the doctor says, I'll help you get through it okay,
and so will the rest of your family." Kevin said stepping to the back of the room. Anna came and sat next too me as the doctor came in.
"Chloe, I have the results," he said his voice not revealing anything.
"There is good news and bad news. We will start with the good news, okay?"
"Okay," I could barely squeak out.
"The cancer is," he paused, "in remission." The tears started rolling down my face and as I turned to give Anna a hug, I could see Kevin in the back
crying too. I could see him mouthing a silent prayer to God too. Then I remembered the Doctor had said there was bad news too. "Smitt what's the other news?"
"The problem you have been having with your foot?
"Yea?"
"When you fell you cracked bones and tissue in your foot and you aren't
going to be able to walk on it anymore."
"What do you mean?"
"You are going to have to wear a brace and we may have to amputate if the infection or muscle deterioration spreads at all."
"Okay, I can handle that. Thank you," I said as he got up and left the
room. The next few hours were filled with tears and hugs. My mom just couldn't stop crying and was as happy as me. Finally everyone left so I could rest and I realized that Kevin hadn't been there at all. A nurse came into to check on me and then asked if I minded having one more visitor. I said no and Kevin came in.
"There you are," I said.
"Sorry, I just needed some time to think is all," he replied.
"Come and sit with me," I said sitting up and turning in bed so I could
face him. He sat down and after a minute or so he turned to look at me. Tears started running down his defined cheeks, his deep green eyes revealing all the hurt and pain and joy he was feeling.
"Oh Kevin, stop please," I whispered brushing his tears away as my own
started to fall.
"Chloe, how can I stop? I've tried being mad and over happy. I've tried to
hate you but I always end up loving you even more," he said looking at the wall behind me. Then his eyes locked with mine and he asked me, "Can you look me in the eyes, Chloe, and tell me you don't love me?" Everything I had hidden and forced away came rushing back to me and I started shaking because I was crying so hard. Kevin moved from the chair by my bed to sit next to me and held me. He kissed my hair and kept brushing the tears from my face, just letting me cry. I'm not sure how long it took me to calm down but eventually I was able to talk with him. I turned in his arms to face him and said, "Kevin I love you more than anything else in this world but…" he stopped me and said, "No buts this time, Chloe, I am not going to let you
leave me again. These past couple months all I could think about was what you said about time and your cancer and how we couldn't make it work. But Chloe, I would rather be married to you for the last week of your life, then never. I love you so much, please, marry me." I couldn't think of anything to say. He was right and he loved me and my heart was full of love for him. How could I say no to the only man I had ever loved?
"Kevin, to marry you is the only think I want. So yes, I will marry you!"
And the ring I had been so proud to wear before was slipped on my finger once again as I kissed my fiancé.
To tell you everything was perfect would be a lie. I still had to regain my strength again, which was a slow process. My foot was amputated and learning to deal with that and walk with a prosthesis was one of the hardest things I've done. But having Kevin by my side made each step worth it. I moved back to Orlando in the middle of May. Almost 6 months after I had left. However, the pain of recovering and healing never out weighed the joy and hope and love I felt each day now. We announced our engagement that August when yet another, awesome Backstreet Boys album came out. (And yes, two of the songs were secretly written and dedicated for me.) I was able to go out in public again in September walking 100% like normal.
After we announced our engagement, it seemed the press wanted to talk to me as much as Kevin. Kevin didn't want me to say "hi" to the media every time so often I just walked on by with him. But one time after a press conference I heard someone shout out, "What's it like to be marrying a Backstreet Boy?" And I knew I had to answer that question. I was quoted as saying, "Yes, I am engaged to a Backstreet Boy. Kevin loves his work and fans and making music, and as far as I know the guys are not going to 'break up' anytime soon. But I don't love him because he is part of a world famous band or because of the many awards he has received both for solo and group work. I love his heart and soul. His faith, passion, strength, incredible talent, and the hope he has given me. These are the things that tell me
marrying Kevin Richardson is the only thing I want. So in answer to your question, it is the most wonderful thing in the world for me to be marrying a Backstreet Boy."
When I moved to Orlando in May, Kevin was busy with business things. But on the anniversary of our "first" engagement date he had me meet him in the studio at his house. I still can't believe it ~~~ ~~~ "Hi Chloe, come in here please." ~~~ "What is it?" I asked after he handed me some music. He was sitting at his piano. ~~~ "Just follow along," he said. ~~~ "Okay," Kevin started playing the song, and I could see that it was a duet. The song was gorgeous and ~~~ when he stopped playing I asked him what it was for. ~~~ "I had always dreamed of writing a song for my wife and I too sing as a duet. But of course she'd have ~~~ to be able to sing, and since my future wife can sing," he said smiling at me, "I wrote this song for us. ~~~ You said you didn't know what to do about vows well what if we do short traditional vows and then ~~~ sing this song to each other?" ~~~ "Oh, Kevin, that is the best idea I've ever heard. Thank you." We learned the song, and it was ~~~ incredible to be singing just us. The song is about promises, and trust, and helping each other through ~~~ all the hard times.
As I stepped out of the limo and looked at the front of the church all I could think about was Kevin. Not the hundreds of people inside, whether I looked right, if all the plans were finished, only Kevin. My mind kept wandering to the part of the ceremony where we would do our duet. Just us and our forever promises to each other. Everyone was already in their places and finally it was my turn to walk down the isle. My dad took my arm and we slowly made our way to the front of the church.
"Who gives this woman to this man?" the pastor asked.
"I do," my father said giving me a kiss on the cheek. The rest of the
ceremony, our song, the vows, and the kiss went by so quickly. As we walked out of the church hand in hand I couldn't believe I was finally married to this man I love so much.
"We're finally married," Kevin whispered to me from the back of the car
that was taking us to the reception.
"I know, and I am already loving it," I whispered back giving me a kiss.
We talked and laughed the whole way there, just starting out new life together totally in love.
The reception and dance were so much fun. Great food, wonderful people, awesome music, and my incredible HUSBAND!
"I'd like to make a toast," Kevin said standing up at our table. "I'd like
to toast to my wife and the new life we are beginning together. These last 2 and a half years, Chloe, have been the most wonderful years of my life. And I know that the next years will be even better, I love you sweetheart!" I smiled up and him and told him I loved him too. Then everyone started hitting there glasses with their knives so I got to kiss my husband again.
I have been in remission from my cancer for almost 4 years now and Kevin and I have been married for 3 wonderful years. We have a little girl named Rachael, who is 13 months old and Kevin is a great father. In about 8 months another baby will be added to our family. Kevin and I are so happy. We are still very much in love and it seems most of his fans have either accepted our marriage or are happy for us. Kevin and I still go to our beach spot where we became "boyfriend and girlfriend" and where we got engaged. He is still the romantic he was when I met him that first New Years' Eve and even more of the best friend and man I need and want to spend the rest of my life with. Who would've thought that I, Chloe McKinney Richardson, would marry a Backstreet Boy? This story is dedicated to my "Backstreet Posse". Each character represents one of my friends and although it is totally fictional (and I would love it to be real) I have enjoyed writing it and would like them to know it is for them. And to the Backstreet Boys I would just like to say thank you because you have made a big influence in my life, your music has gotten me through some of the hardest things in my life.
THE END
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