“Beth”
“What?”
“Listen to me, you can either talk to me and be civil about it, scream and shout at me like a neanderthal and get nothing accomplished, or don’t talk to me at all, it’s your choice” JC said as if he had some form of dictatorship over me.
“I’m tired of you people,” I said as my stomach began to turn “please, for my sanity’s sake, just get over it”
“How about for my sanity you just work with me?”
“You don’t get it huh? I cant. There is nothing. So stop” and with that I hung up the phone.
A tear falls. Another one follows in its path and makes a long journey down my cheek, and soon more are taking the trail. I don’t understand why they are falling but I try my best to make them stop. It’s like they have a mind of their own because they are endless so I eventually give up and let them all out.
I look at the phone and hope for anything that he calls me back. All I want right now is a reassurance that I haven’t lost him for good. That I haven’t overly fucked up the situation. It’s horrible that I have a tendency to fuck every situation up.
I know I say all the time that I want to be alone, that I am better at handling things by myself but the truth is I desperately need a dependency. I need a second person in my life. Not a person to love me, not a person to nourish me, and not a person to represent my everything. I need to find a soul mate to act as my second half. I figured if I had a sole mate then at least he could catch some of this bad luck that’s been coming my way and then I could remain somewhat sane.
He doesn’t call me back
The rest of my day is spent by me sulking in self-made misery.
---
“Hello?” I asked, a little unsure of my own voice
“Beth?” JC questioned back. He blinked his eyes and then opened them widely.
“Sorry, if you were sleeping I can go…”
“NO NO no” he cut me off with “stay… come in”
I can’t believe I actually showed up at his house. I didn’t know what I was doing anymore.
I stared to pace back and forth. “This is INSANE… why did I come over here?” I asked, obviously talking to myself.
“I don’t know, I’m just as baffled as you” JC said with a smile
“Hey, don’t make this any harder then it is for me Chasez” I said
“What?” he asked
There was a large distance between us.
I took a step closer to him. He took a step closer to me.
“So, what do I owe this pleasure to?” he asked, still smiling.
“I’m sorry… I guess”
“You guess?” he asked, with an even wider smile now.
“Fine… I AM sorry”
“Maybe I should be sorry too”
“Why would you need to be sorry for anything?” I asked, a little confused.
“Because I was kind of… relentless with everything, and I think maybe I was more of your burden then a person that liked you”
“Don’t be sorry for that… if you weren’t so damn relentless I wouldn’t be standing here right now”
“True” he said with a nod of his head.
I took a nonchalant step closer to him.
“So you’re here because you are sorry?” he asked
I quickly inserted another step closer to him.
“Yeah, that’s basically…. It” I said
“Nothing else?”
He stepped closer this time. There was now only a foot between us.
“Well that… and…”
There was now mere inches remaining between us.
“And?” he asked
“… And this” I said and kissed him.
