My beautiful Nathaniel was born into Heaven on November 5,1996.
This is when my beloved angel really entered into our world,he was actually
taken to Heaven, somewhere between October 31,1996 and November 1,1996.
He was such a beautiful little boy weighing 4 pounds and 9 ounces, and
was 16 inches long. So tiny for a little boy who was 31.5 wks when he died
yet he had all the sizes of a normal full term child except his umbilical cord.
That was half the length it should have been and may have contributed to
his death. He had a cute little button nose and dark brown almost black hair.
Unfortunatley I do not know what color his eyes were because I did not open them
but I would like to think he would have the same brilliant blue eyes that his brothers
have.
Nathaniel died according to the Autopsy of a Circumvalletd
Placenta. This is still a medical mystery, however they can tell you when it
has happened. A Circumvallted Placenta is where the placenta separates from the Uterine wall
therefore causing it to have to quickly regrow and attach itself to the Placenta
or the child will die. Unfortunately there is no known causes of what causes this
or if it can even be prevented. One day it is my hope that they will find out
what causes this so maybe no more children will have to die from it. We did find out in the years after his death that his death may have other complications that contributed to it such as a uterine infection. In 2000 I had to undergo a hysterectmy, when the doctor who performed the operation talked to me afterwards it was his opinion that the damage that ultimately lead to the removal was the cause of a Uterine Infection that I had back in 1996 during my pregnancy. Uterine Infections are deadly to babies while they are still in the mother's womb and this may be the ultimate cause of his death.
Nathaniel was born on the Island of Okinawa at the Naval Hospital at
Camp Lester. The doctor who delievered was a very heartless man as far as I am concerned. My doctor who should have delievered Nathaniel was a very kind gentleman who tried his best to help me understand what was going on and to help speed up the process since I was already in so much pain emotionally that I could not handle another long labor. However a long labor it was. Nathaniel finally entered into this world about 48 hrs after I was told my son had passed over Jordan's Banks and into the arms of my Grandpa in Heaven.I really wished he had delievered Nathaniel, he had delieverd my older son and just missed delivering Nathaniel by 3 whole minutes. He later told me that had he known I would deliver that soon he would have stayed and seen me through it. I remember him so well
and it meant so much that he tried to help me through what has been a very difficult time in my life that my youngest son was named Stephen after him.
Nathaniel has two brothers, one older and one younger than he should be.
His older brother was just a baby himself when his brother entered this world for such a
short time and does not really remember him except for what I have told him about. The baby of the family is slowly learning about our Nathaniel and who and what
part of our family he is. One of Nathaniel's favorite things when I was pregnant with him was our cat Garfield, whenever he would not be able to sleep
Garfield would lay on my stomach and purr and off to sleep my angel would go.
It has been almost 14 long years now since that day I found out my son was an angel and
it has been so extremely long years the one time I held my son in my arms. If I could go back in time to see my angel and hold him for just seconds to minutes longer I would even if it meant still having to give him to the care of his great grandpa I would.
There is nothing more that I regret than not spending more time with my son, and even though my own family especially my father, tells me that it was the worst thing I could do; I do not feel the same as they do. I love my child and more than anything would love to have him here but I can't have him physically, I do have him emotionally and spiritually for I feel he is ever near.
