Dust settles on my stary night clouds fog my crystal visions my inner peace interupted. I see you for a moment. Perfect, as always… you in your short, velvet purple dress long sleeves, turtleneck Me all alone, gazing in awe wishing I was with you the rest of the night my eyes still stared into the empty air around me: mass confusion people making love with their clothes on me crying with my eyes still dry I never get to see you and now, when I had my chance you hid, or I hid… or we both did. It just happened that you dissapeared from my view the whole night long and I was stuck in the corner with the rest of my friends forced to put a fake smile on my face laughing to keep out the tears pouring from within I shouldn’t cry, what a pathetic idiot obbessed with the purity of obsession itself but obession is evil purely evil. I’m lost in my heart thinking I deserve thee. I don’t deserve shit. I am a piece of shit. Ugly, chunky, flush me down the toilet I’m already drowing in my sorrow my pathetic little selfish sorrows. All those people who have real pain me and my sorry excuse for my tears. I will live my life alone, always wanting what I can’t have always looking for someone who will never love me back. Do I really like to feel so low? Is my heart a guinea pig for my brain? Am I wishing that maybe somehow, someday, things will work out; though I’m sure they won’t. Things can’t go right for me. How can life give me what I don’t deserve? And you will never know how I feel I could never tell you you could never know. It’s my little bitter secret. My little ocean of lust and pain. My titanic forest of sorrow and misery. Alone, as always, wishing I had something; someone I will never have.