Dust settles on my stary night
clouds fog my crystal visions
my inner peace interupted.
I see you for a moment.
Perfect, as always…
you in your short,
velvet purple dress
long sleeves, turtleneck
Me all alone, gazing in awe
wishing I was with you
the rest of the night
my eyes still stared
into the empty air
around me: mass confusion
people making love 
with their clothes on
me crying
with my eyes still dry
I never get to see you 
and now, when I had my chance
you hid, or I hid…
or we both did.
It just happened that you
dissapeared from my view
the whole night long
and I was stuck in the corner
with the rest of my friends
forced to put a fake smile on my face
laughing to keep out the tears
pouring from within
I shouldn’t cry,
what a pathetic idiot
obbessed with the purity of obsession itself
but obession is evil
purely evil.
I’m lost in my heart
thinking I deserve thee.
I don’t deserve shit.
I am a piece of shit.
Ugly, chunky,
flush me down the toilet
I’m already drowing in my sorrow
my pathetic little selfish sorrows.
All those people who have real pain
me and my sorry excuse for my tears.
I will live my life alone,
always wanting what I can’t have
always looking for someone 
who will never love me back.
Do I really like to feel so low?
Is my heart a guinea pig for my brain?
Am I wishing that maybe somehow,
someday, things will work out;
though I’m sure they won’t.
Things can’t go right for me.
How can life give me what I don’t deserve?
And you will never know how I feel
I could never tell you
you could never know.
It’s my little bitter secret.
My little ocean of lust and pain.
My titanic forest of sorrow and misery.
Alone, as always, wishing I had something;
someone I will never have.