The Naming of Cats
The naming of cats is a difficult matter
It isn't just one of your holiday games
You may think, at first, I'm as mad as a hatter
When I tell you a cat must have three different names
First of all, there's the name that the family use daily
Such as Peter, Agustus, Alonzo, or James
Such as Victor or Jonathanm George or Bill Bailey
All of them sensible, everyday names
There are fancier names, if you think they sound sweeter
Some for the gentleman, some for the dames
Such as Plato, Admetus, Electra, Demeter
But all of the sensible everyday names
But I tell you a cat needs a name that's particular
A name that's peculiar and more dignified
Or else how can he keep up his tail perpendiculas?
Or spread out his whiskers, or cherish his pride?
Of names of this kind, I can give you a quorum
Such as Munkustrap, Quaxo, or Coricopat
Such as Bombalurina, or else Jellylorum
Names that never belong to more than one cat
But above and beyond there's still one name left over
And that is the name that you never will guess
The name that no human research discover
But the cat himself knows, and will never confess
When you notice a cat in profound meditation
The reason I tell you is always the same
His mind is engaged in the rapt contemplation
of the thought, of the thought, of the thought of his name
HIs ineffable, effable, effanineffable
Deep and inscrutible, singular, name
Name, name, name, name, name, name
