…This is too fast - too soon, he thinks - but how does he deal with the need to have Téa and Starr in his life and the fear of hurting the woman he loves? He stops pacing and turns to face her. She stands up off of the couch, her eyes moist, the tears gone, and she faces him.
“What is it Todd? Was it…something I said? Something I did?” she whispered.
His eyes find her soul…
“I want to - touch you - feel you - comfort you - but I’m so afraid…” he replied searching for words.
“What are you afraid of Todd?” she asked.
“I need to call Dr. Jacobs. I have to talk to him,” said Todd. His stance changed.
“Dr. Jacobs is not here Todd. I am. Talk to me. Share it with me,” pleaded Téa.
“You? You want me - to share this with you?” he questioned unsure if that was what she really wanted. If she could handle it right now with all with all her other problems.
“Yes. I’m your wife Todd. Share it with me,” she said. She took a step toward him. He took a step back. She stopped.
“I dream of you Téa. I dream we’re in our house on Llantano mountain - and we’re kissing - candles - wine - it’s romantic - how Rodd would want it - he - I - we’re in the bedroom and he - no! “I” undress you - for the first time - and “I” touch you for the FIRST time where “I” never have before - and “I” make love to you - and it’s like the first time for me because “I’ve” never made love to a woman like that - like “I” do to you on that night…” whispered Todd lost in the dream, struggling for words, struggling to maintain his identity. He’s clearly uncomfortable telling her about the erotic dream he’s had of her.
“I dream of you too Todd,” replied Téa.
Todd’s eyes turned glassy and lost focus, “And I have another dream. And “I” us - it’s rough - I don’t smack or hit you but I hold your arms tight above your head. My kisses draw blood from your lips. Your clothes are tattered on the ground around us. You’re clearly uncomfortable - you try to hide the disgust you have for my body - as Pete - no! “I” shove myself into you and the tears that flow down your cheeks are from the physical pain I’m causing you. You don’t say no or stop either. You don’t fight me. You let me hurt you - because - because if this is the only way to have me, you’ll take it. It’s better than not having me at all,” said Todd his voice rough and tense.
“Todd,” she started, pausing, trying to find the right words, “Love is not about hurting the other person and I know you know that. Love is not violent. Love and violence are not interchangeable. Yes - Todd - I’ve wanted to be intimate with you since you proposed to me at the palace on bended knee - I’m not going to deny that. But if the only way I could be intimate with you was in the way of your second dream I wouldn’t take it. I would never have you…”
“I’m a violent man Téa - I’ve done violent things - “I” hit you Téa. Not Pete - me - “I” hit you - in the shed.”
“I know.”
“And you stayed with me!”
Téa took a step closer to him but he didn’t back away. Strangely, he held his ground.
“Tell me Todd, honestly, did you regret that action? Because not a day goes by I don’t regret hitting you with that shovel Todd. I hit the man I love with a shovel! And my heart breaks knowing I can’t take that back,” said Téa, “And you stayed with me Todd.”
A tear rolled down Todd’s cheek and his body began to shake, “I regret - “I” hit the woman “I” love with a closed fist in the face. I torment myself everyday knowing that’s why I can’t allow myself to be intimate with you…”
“Stop it Todd! Stop it! Just tell me you’re sorry. I know I’m sorry Todd. I want to love you - not hurt you - not break your heart and tear your soul to pieces. I want your forgiveness.”
Téa took another step closer to him. Again, Todd didn’t move away - instead he found her eyes.
“Your eyes don’t lie.”
“Neither do yours,” replied Téa.
“You had my forgiveness a long time ago Téa,” whispered Todd, “Can you forgive me?”
“Yeah - I can forgive you Todd Manning - I do,” whispered Téa. She stepped into the personal space between them. She could see Todd’s body shake.
They hesitantly reached out to each other - afraid of hurting the other - but wanting too - needing too - to touch the other - not only emotionally but physically as well. And when he took her in his arms he felt something drain away and for the first time there was no other thought he had but for her. His lips shook and he could feel hers shake as well as he tenderly kissed her.
“I forgive you Todd. I do,” she whispered.
“And “I” forgive you Téa,” he replied savoring the feel of her in his arms.

The Next Day,
The Client Interview Room at the Llanview police station

Téa walked into the room. Her brother, José Delgado shot up out of the chair he was in and they exchanged a warm, affectionate hug.
“Your arraignment is in two hours José,” said Téa as they parted, “I brought you a suit to wear.”
José smiled, “So, you’ll represent me?”
“No, I won’t,” said Téa firmly.
José’s face dropped, “What? Mija - I don’t understand…”
“You don’t need me to be your lawyer. You need me to be your sister right now,” started Téa.
“Don’t give me this bull! That’s all you ever do - is run away…!” exclaimed José.
“You shut up José Delgado!” shot back Téa getting in her brother’s face, “I can not be objective. Do you hear me? I can not be objective. I love you too much…”
José grabbed her arms, “Téa - but I - trust only you!”
“Then trust I know my own judgement José. I can not be objective. I might overlook something vital to your case or I might not consider something I should because…I’ll be worrying about you…” pleaded Téa.
“Téa - what? Who? What do we do?” asked José, “I need you!”
“Sam Rappaport is standing outside the door. I trust him to defend you José. Do it - please? Let me be a sister to you…”
He turned away and looked down.
“Look, Sam will get you bail, I’ll post it, and I’ll get you a room at the palace with me and we’ll go from there o.k…” said Téa.
José looked back to her, “All right, Téa. I trust you.”
Téa went inside and brought Sam in making introductions between them. Sam brought in Téa’s suit for José and he began to tell them what occurred. His assignment, along with Pedro’s was to follow, observe, and report back every action a man named Paulo Hesser made. Paulo had come to Llanview a few nights ago. Pedro and José were in a car, a few blocks down from where they observed Paulo enter a house. The next thing José knew was that he was being attacked. He heard a gunshot ring out and when he awoke he had the gun that had shot Pedro in his hand and Pedro was slumped down the car seat, a bullet wound to his head. Sam told José that would do for now and that he could work with that.
José got suited up. Sam and Téa escorted him to the courthouse. They were bombarded with press but they ignored the biting remarks. As they entered the courtroom, Todd stood off to the side in the back. He looked nervous - anxious. Téa leaned over and whispered to José she would be sitting in the back. José nodded his head. Sam and José took their seats.
“Todd, is something wrong? I thought we’d…last night…” asked Téa confused by his body language. She thought they had gotten closer since last night.
“Another fabulous Sun headline,” said Todd frowning, knowing that showing her would hurt her. He held up the paper.
“Righteous ADA Delgado’s criminal brother commits murder,” whispered Téa. She sat back and did nothing, holding her reaction inside, “I don’t want José to see this,” she said icily.
Todd took her head, “Let me - try to - make you - cheer you up. I’ve got therapy this afternoon so this evening - I’ll take you to dinner. The waterside inn. Just you and me and we’ll escape our problems…”
“I don’t know Todd. José…” started Téa.
“…Will be fine. Let me do this for you,” he replied.
“Just for tonight,” whispered Téa losing herself in his eyes.
The judge walked in and the court quieted down.
Todd pointed to the reporters who were hovering by the courtroom door and pointing to them.
“You can bet they’ll be all over you when this arraignment is over,” said Todd.
Téa drew a breath, “Bring ‘em on. I can take the press.”
“Well, if you can’t - I’ll take ‘em on,” whispered Todd. She let a quick smile escape her lips.
“José Delgado,” came the judge’s voice, “How do you plead?”
The court grew quiet and all eyes fell on Sam and José.