He slowly puts the reciever back on the phone. He leaves the phone booth, his panic at not being able to find her quelled. His eyes mist up at the remembrance of her voice. And Viki's. Bringing up both hands and rubbing his eyes...he begins his walk back to his lonely exile.

*************************

Chicago, same night

Todd re-enters his father's room slowly. His eyes survey the damage. The bed linens strewn across the floor. Black marks where different items of furniture had hit the wall. He runs a hand through his tangled hair.

"Better clean up before Daddy gets home," Pete's harsh voice rips through his head.

Todd shuts his eyes tightly. His fists clench at his side.

"Come on Todd...hurry! Daddy'll be home soon...he'll be real mad at us," Tom's frightened voice whispers.

"Shut up!" Todd yells. "Shut up!"

He brings his hands up and clamps them over his ears. He turns and quickly leaves the room, running back to his room. He flops down on the bed, bringing the pillow up, covering his head. Trying to drown them out. His head is still throbbing from his scotch binge, but the pain is almost a relief. Concentrate on the pain. Ignore them.

Ignore them and it'll all go away.

*************************

The Diner

Téa looks through the door of the diner. The front is dark, but she can see a light in the back. She begins banging on the door. After a minute, Carlotta comes out of the back. Her look of curiosity changes to a smile as she sees Téa. The smile lessens somewhat when Téa does not return it. Carlotta unlocks the door.

"Mija, this is a surprise," Carlotta says, an edge of nervousness in her voice as she catches Téa's icy stare. Téa wordlessly walks past Carlotta. She walks to the counter and slams her keys down, turning back to Carlotta with fire in her eyes.

"I had a visit from John Sykes," Téa says icily.
Carlotta glances around nervously. "How did it go?"
Téa just shakes her head, her eyes misting up with tears. "How could you tell him Carlotta?" she asks, her voice a mixture of anger and sadness.
"Oh mija, he was so worried about you."
"Damn it Carlotta, if I had wanted him to know I would have told him myself!" she yells.
"Téa, he was so heartbroken and he wants to understand. You weren't opening up to him, I was just trying to help!"
"You were trying to help? By revealing something so private!"
"Mija, he loves you so much," Carlotta says weakly.
"Oh, he doesn't love me Carlotta! He loves the woman he THINKS I am. The goody two shoes Assistant District Attorney. He doesn't know ME...and what's more he has no interest in knowing ME! John Sykes doesn't want me to be ME. Everytime he gets a glimpse, he makes some snide comment about not seeing that side of me before!"
"You deserve someone good like John, Téa."
Téa laughs. "Someone good like John," she says sarcastically. "All he ever did was make me feel bad about every choice I've made in my life. I'm NOT the woman he thinks I am Carlotta. And what's more...I DON'T want to be her!" Téa pauses as she sinks down onto one of the stools. "You know, I thought I did," she continues quietly. "I thought I wanted to change everything about me. And if I could...maybe...maybe I could forget....maybe this pain inside of me would just go away..." her voice trails off as a tear slips down her cheek.
She lifts her hand and brushes the tear away. "But it didn't...the pain...the ache....it's still there. And it's actually worse because I have been lying to myself for months about who I am and what I feel. I'm not gonna do that anymore Carlotta. I'm not."
Carlotta takes a deep breath and steps closer to her.
"Téa, I know how afraid you are of relationships again, especially after Todd...but John..."
Téa cuts her off. "Don't start in on Todd, Carlotta," Téa says defensively.
"It's that key isn't it? He's still got a hold on you."
Téa shakes her head and leans back against the counter.
"Sweetheart, you have to let him go."
"Why?"
"Because you have a wonderful man who loves you! I don't understand why you hold these feelings for Todd...all he ever did was hurt you!"
Téa's anger is raised again. "That is NOT true. He did hurt me Carlotta...but I hurt him too. And you know what, for all of this John being a *wonderful man*, he's awfully judgmental. You know, Todd NEVER judged me. He never made me feel bad about the choices I made, and he listened to me...REALLY listened."
There is a silence for a moment as both women stare hard at the floor. Suddenly, Téa's head snaps up.
"That's it," she whispers.
Carlotta looks at her questioningly.
"Dios mio, I can't believe I didn't see it before," she says softly.
"What?"
"I wondered..you know why now? Why did that key find me again now? I've had this feeling ....that he needs me...that something is wrong. But you know what I was completely missing? I need him. This secret....my past...I could tell Todd....and he would understand. I could talk to him about this. You know, for a long time, he was my best friend....I didn't just lose my husband when he left....I lost the one person I could tell ANYTHING too. He may need me right now, but I need him too," she finishes, silent tears streaming down her cheeks.
"Téa...."
She shakes her head, and grabs her keys.
"I gotta go," she mutters.
"Mija, wait...."
"Carlotta...I've waited long enough...."
"You're not going after him?"
Téa doesn't answer, just stares at Carlotta.
"You're making a mistake, mija," Carlotta says quietly.
Téa looks at Carlotta, determination in her eyes. "The only mistake I've made is waiting this long." With that, she bolts out of the diner. Carlotta watches after her...trying to decide what to do.

Téa gets in her car. She felt better than she had in a while. The realization that had hit her had freed her to some extent. But she didn't have anymore time to waste.

She reaches over to the passenger seat and picks up her cell phone. She dials information and gets a number....then dials it.

"Yes...can you tell me if you have any flights leaving for Chicago tonight? Two hours? I'd like a ticket for that flight....yes..Téa Delgado....thank you."

She presses the end button and puts the key in the ignition. Sam had told her some of Todd's history in Chicago...to her it seemed the logical place to start...maybe it would lead to some clues as to where Todd was.

As she drives back to the penthouse, she mentally makes a list of everything she has to do in the next two hours before she leaves. An image of Starr floats in her mind.

She smiles slightly. "Hang in there, Starr....he'll be home soon..if I have anything to say about it."

To be continued....