Todd stares at her bowed head, her soft, plaintive question ringing in his ears. He reaches over and tentatively takes her hand.
"Because it's the truth," he says softly, "I know that probably doesn't mean much to you, coming from me...but it is the truth."
Téa looks up, her eyes locking with his, the sincerity in his voice touching her.
"Okay," she whispers, "I believe you....I have no idea why....but I do. But Todd...you still lied to me...about so much.." her voice trails off.
Todd swallows hard. No..this wasn't going to be easy at all. Inside, he was a jumble of raging emotions....the urge to run from this conversation overwhelming him...but he knew in his heart if he did...he would lose her forever.
"I hated that...lying to you...but see once it started....I don't know...I felt like I couldn't stop it...I'm so messed up inside Téa...so messed up...I just felt out of control. It ate at me every day...knowing how much I was hurting you...Viki...Sam...even Starr. I...I just didn't know how to stop it....I felt like I couldn't. It's not that I didn't trust you....I just didn't want to lose you....God I hate this...I'm not making any sense," he sighs, exasperated. "You are...go on," she urged quietly, her hand still tightly grasped in his.
He runs his free hand through his hair, and looks down at their joined hands. "It's why I walked out on our wedding," he says softly, "I mean...Viki and Sam talking about all that trust stuff...and you....you were so beautiful...and looking at me with those eyes...those trusting eyes...I felt like the world's biggest jerk."
Tears fall down Téa's cheeks as she recalls the moment he turned and left the ceremony. It had felt like all her dreams had come crashing down.
"But you came back," she says.
He lifts his head to look at her. "Yeah....I did. See...it wasn't just all the DID stuff...I was scared....of hurting you," he pauses to search Téa's eyes, to see if she understands his meaning, and he can see she does, "and Viki...she came and talked to me and said I was scared cause I loved you. And Sam...he came and said you were leaving...and I guess I realized what that meant....and I knew I couldn't let you leave. I guess I rationalized it all...yeah...I was lying about the DID...but years from now...when we had the life we talked about the night before the wedding...the house and everything...it wouldn't matter how we got there...it would only matter that we got there at all."
"How can you say that...when that life would be based on a lie?"
"But see Téa, it wouldn't be...not really. Cause yeah..I lied about the alters...but I NEVER lied about the really important stuff....about my feelings for you...about wanting to have a life with you and Shorty...okay so maybe I used some stupid accent to do it...but I meant every word...that was all me...all true. Our marriage would be about all that stuff....that's what important."
Téa shakes her head, a small smile playing on her lips. Todd's logic was unique...if nothing else. And part of her understood what he meant. That was one of his problems...he had the best of intentions...he just didn't really how to act on them all the time. Todd watches the gentle smile on her lips, allowing himself the tiniest bit of hope that somehow he was getting through to her.
"You know," Téa says, her eyes again falling to their joined hands, "it wasn't all your fault Todd. I mean...I saw what I wanted to see...that's for sure. After you left...when I looked back on it...I couldn't believe I ignored so many signs. You hurt me," she says, raising her eyes to his, "but you know what, I hurt you too. I'm certainly not blameless in this relationship."
Todd grins, "Yeah, Delgado, I guess we both had our moments...but I never meant to hurt you...and I don't think you meant to hurt me."
Téa's face expresses mild shock at his words. She certainly didn't expect that.
"Can I tell you something?" she asks.
"Yeah."
"Do you know what hurt the most?"
Todd shakes his head, watching her intently.
"Well.. the lying...about the DID..that hurt a lot...my pride and ego mostly because I felt like an idiot..and because I felt like you didn't trust me to tell me the truth...meanwhile Max, Blair, and even Kelly knew! But what hurt more than anything was that....you left, Todd...you just left...after the fire...all I got was a note, and of course, a check," she says bitterly. She wipes a tear away from her cheek. She puts her hand under Todd's chin, and lifts his eyes to meet hers. "And that's why I thought you never loved me....you just left....and that killed me...because you....of all people...know how it feels to have someone you love just walk out on you," she finishes softly.

****************

NEAR YOU ALWAYS 12

Todd silently regards her for a moment, noticing the pain that is evident on her face. Her words had struck him, because when he left, he truly thought it was what she would want. But as he sits here looking at her...he remembers a promise he made to her, and with sickening twist in his heart...he thinks back to the night he finally proposed to her...

All right. I...I want to say that...um...that I..I won't split on you the way your mother did....

He squeezes her hand, and attempts to explain.
"I thought you wanted me to go," he says softly.
"I wanted you to leave me alone, not leave town...there's a difference," she replies, her voice rising. Todd grins....remembering a time he had said something similar to her.
"Téa...for the first time in my life, I was trying to do the right thing. I figured you needed time....and maybe it would be easier for you if I wasn't around."
"Okay...fine.....then why did you leave the check? I mean...you told me before that you loved me...that you loved me the whole time...and I don't know why but I believe you. So...why did you do it...if you loved me so much...didn't you know me well enough to know that I didn't want your money?"
Todd swallows hard. "I wanted you to stick around. I tried to think of anything Delgado...you know money always worked before...not just with you but with other people too...I wasn't thinking straight....I thought maybe it would work. I just didn't want you to give up...." his voice trails off, as he lifts her chin, and stares into her eyes, "You know..I knew I screwed up when I saw you tear up the check."
Téa's eyes register shock. "You saw me...you mean you were at the hospital?"
He takes a deep breath. "Yeah...but I figured you wouldn't want to see me ...so I hid."
She laughs a little. "You know...as much as I didn't want to see you that day...I wanted to see you...does that make any sense?"
"Yeah...to me it does," he says, grinning, "Look, Delgado....leaving you and Shorty was the hardest thing I've ever had to do....but my head...it felt like it was spinning all the time...it still feels like that..." he pauses and shakes his head slightly, "I was just trying to do the right thing...if you can imagine that," he says with a sardonic grin.
"But you came back," she says softly.
"Yeah, well Shorty...I feel god awful for leaving her. And you...I had to see you. See....I always wanted to be alone..you know? It was just easier....but there I was ....alone....and all I could think about was being with Shorty and you. Which by the way is you're fault," he says grinning, "and Shorty's....you guys made me not want to be alone anymore."
Téa reaches up and wipes her cheeks, which now seems almost a useless move what with the endless stream of tears flowing down them.
Todd runs his hand through his hair. "You know..maybe we should head back," he says, not really wanting to leave her...but this talk was beginning to take its toll on him. He wanted it...and they still had a lot to talk about...but there was plenty of time.
"Todd...I have one more question."
"Delgado, we've got plenty of time to talk."
"This one can't wait," she replies, finding his eyes.
"Shoot," he says grinning.
"You said you lied about the alters....did you lie about your father...about Peter Manning?"
Todd immediately stiffens, and unconsciously tightens his grip on her hand. He lowers his head and runs his free hand through his hair. Téa watches him, noticing a slight change in his breathing. She feels her heart break...deep inside she had almost wished he was lying about Peter...because the thought of him enduring that torture was too much for her to bear.
"Okay, Todd..okay," she whispers, reaching up without thinking to tenderly stroke his hair. "I'm sorry to bring it up...but I had to know. I should have known....you would never lie about that."
He hesitantly meets her eyes, and sees sadness, pain, and even love. No disgust...it's amazing to him.
"Todd," she begins haltingly, "you have to deal with this...."
He cuts her off, "I don't want to talk about it...okay?" he says sharply. Noticing the surprised look on her face, his voice softens. "Delgado, there's still so much garbage between us...and I know we need to talk about it...but do we have to do it all tonight?" he finishes, slightly grinning.
Téa smiles. "I guess not."
"Good...cause all this communication junk is giving me a headache."
Téa grins. "I'm not surprised," she pauses, and measures her next words carefully. "Look, Todd...I appreciate you setting me straight on things...and yes we still have a lot to talk about...but...I don't want to lead you on...about us...I'm not making any promises," she says softly.
She watches as Todd's eyes fill with sadness, but soon change to that stubborness she adores. "Whatever Delgado....I told you I'm not giving up...and you know how I am when I want something."
She just shakes her head and looks down. He gently lifts her chin.
"Okay...come on...I'll walk you back," he says, and gets up. He reaches down and offers his hand to help her up. She takes it, and stands up, ending up closer to him than she expected. He grins at her, and reaches into his pocket. He had written the address of their house on it before the party, and had planned on slipping it in her purse at some point during the night. But ...after their talk...he decided to give it to her himself.
"uhhh..Here..." he says awkwardly, shoving the card towards her.
"What is this?" she says, taking the card.
"It's uh...where I'm staying...you know in case you want to see me or something."
"No phone number?"
"Nope...you're gonna have to come out there," he says, grinning wickedly. With that he leans forward and gently places his lips against her forehead. She closes her eyes, savoring his closeness...regardless of how hard she is trying to fight it. He takes her hand, and wordlessly leads her back to the party.

*************

NEAR YOU ALWAYS 13

Tea's suite at the Palace

Téa finally gets out of bed after a restless night's sleep. Actually, two restless nights. The two nights since her talk with Todd. She sighs as she pulls on her long, red satin robe. She sits back down on the bed and picks up the card with Todd's address on it.

"It's uh...where I'm staying...you know in case you want to see me or something."

She knew when he gave it to her, he wanted to see if she would make the next move. Not that it would stop him if she didn't. She had wrestled with it all day yesterday, and several times had grabbed her keys to go to him. But she had stopped herself. She still had so many questions.

Then again, she thinks, he opened up the other night, at least for him.
And she can't deny that she wants to see him, desperately. She shakes her head, a wry grin crossing her face. She knows she won't rest until she sees him again. With resolve, she gets up and heads for the shower.

*********************************************************************************

The Millhouse, same morning

Kevin looks with disgust as his uncle walks past him and into the living room.
"Yeah," Kevin snorts, "Blair said you were back....lucky us."
"Whatever...where's Blair...she's not at Big Momma Dorian's so I assume she's here."
"She is," Kevin says, in a somewhat gloating fashion, but unfortunately not getting the reaction he hoped for out of Todd.
"Well, I need to see her."
"Too bad."
"Look, Kevvie....I could give a damn about you and Blair...I hope you torture the hell out of each other...however...this affects my kid...so I need to see Blair...deal with it."
"Todd, what are you doing here?" Blair asks, having just walked into the room. She sits down on the couch, where Kevin joins her.
"So, Blair...what does your dear cousin Cassie think about you doing the nasty with her honey?" Todd asks, grinning.
"Shut the hell up Manning, you don't know anything about it," Kevin says angrily, "besides...if I were you...I'd be worrying about whether or not you can convince Téa to take your sorry ass back," he finishes smugly.
Todd's eyes turn icy as he stares at Kevin. "You don't talk about her, understand?"
"Ohhh protective," Kevin taunts.
"Will you two stop?" Blair says, frustrated, "Todd...for the last time...what do you want?"
"I want to see my kid."
"Well...see if you can arrange a time with Viki and I'll bring her by."
"Viki had to go out of town this morning...Banner business...or didn't you know?" Todd replies sarcastically.
"Oh yeah...well it'll have to wait until she gets back then."
"What! No way Blair...I want to see her."
"Sorry Todd...but not alone."
"Why? I'm fine!"
"That's debatable."
"Blair...don't do this..you'll regret it."
"I'm real scared. Look, I don't trust you as far as I can throw you...and you seem to have a penchant for leaving town suddenly. Sorry, I'm not taking the chance."
"I'm not leaving again....I'm not."
"Oh that's right...still working on thawing out the Ice Queen," Blair retorts, amused at the fierce look her nickname for Téa brings to her ex-husband's face.
"Shut up Blair. Fine...I'll wait...but Blair....this little arrangement isn't gonna work...understand?" he says, his tone cold. With that, he turns and heads for the door.
"You won't take her away from me Todd!" she yells at his back, and then turns into Kevin's arms for comfort.

**********************************************************************************

Téa's Suite at the Palace, early afternoon

Téa picks up the address and shoves it in her purse. After going through several outfits, she finally decided on white and black checkered shorts and and white sleeveless top. Her beautiful hair is hanging loosely around her face. She takes a deep breath, not really sure if what she is about to do is the right move...but she knows she has to do it. She grabs her keys and heads for the door. When she opens it, she is surprised to come face to face with John Sykes.
"John? What are you doing here?"
He smiles, leaning closer to her. "I just wanted to see you....you know I haven't heard from you since we went to Viki's event. Thought maybe you'd want to grab some lunch."
"Oh...that's sweet...but actually, I have plans."
"Oh," he says, sounding disappointed. "What's up?"
Téa looks momentarily confused. What business is it of his? "Just errands and stuff," she says nonchalantly.
"How about dinner?" he asks, seeming very persistent. The slightly impatient edge to his voice makes it clearer than ever to Téa what she must do.
"Um...John...look, I like you...I do...I just don't think we should see each other anymore."
John looks shocked. "What? I thought things were going well! Oh," he pauses, a sneer forming on his lips, "You're going back to Manning."
"No!....anyway like I told you...my relationship with Todd is none of your business!"she retorts, her anger rising. She attempts to calm herself. "Look John....I just think you are looking for a lot more than I'm willing to give...and like I said...I don't want to lead you on...I like you."
"You'll be sorry, Téa. Manning's a loser, he'll only hurt you," he says icily, and turns to leave. Halfway down the hall, he turns back. "Téa, I'm not gonna give up easily...you deserve somebody good and decent...better than that jerk...I'm that guy...and I'm gonna prove it to you." He leaves.
Téa sighs, and leans against the wall. That had not gone at all well.

Meanwhile...in the elevator...John Sykes furiously punches the wall. His mind races as he tries to come up with some way...any way to keep Manning away from Téa.

**********************************************************************************

Téa steps out of her car in awe as she stares at the beautiful house in front of her...the house that rests on the address Todd gave her.
"Not bad accomodations Manning," she whispers to herself. She notices that there is no car there...and realizes he's not home. She decides to wait a little while to see if he'll show up. She walks around the grounds, noticing the generous yard, the lovely wraparound front porch. It's the kind of house she dreamed of having...for them. She swallows the lump that has formed in her throat. She walks to the front and sits down on the porch steps. She tries not to picture Todd and Starr playing in the yard...her and Todd hanging out and talking at night on the porch...she furiously blinks back tears. Before she has a chance to fantasize further, Todd pulls up.
He smiles as he sees her sitting on the front porch. She came, he had wondered if she would come to him.
Don't screw this up, he thinks.
He gets out of the car and walks up to her, the grin still on his face.
"Hey Delgado."
She smiles. "Hey. Nice place."
"Yeah? Glad you like it. But why are you waiting outside?"
She looks at him, confused. "You weren't here, and I don't have a key," she replies.
Todd looks at her, that sexy grin still on his face, "Yeah you do Delgado."