‘Mija, you can run all you want, but you cannot hide from the truth, your heart will never let you.'

‘I don't know what the truth is anymore, Abuelita, my heart and I are not on speaking terms much these days.'

Tear-filled, swollen dark circled eyes and mussed hair cinched in a loose, ragged ponytail starkly reveal Tea Delgado Manning's inner torment and vulnerability. Dressed in blue sweatpants and a plain white t-shirt, she appears far younger and fresher than when in her old cool and collective professional courtroom attire. Those deep chocolate eyes appear less mysterious and more like a those of a small wounded cat licking her wounds as she sits curled up in one of the lounge chairs of her hotel room remembering that months old conversation with her beloved abuelita. That conversation rocked her entire world, from her perception of her childhood, her mother's abandonment to her failed relationship with the man she still loved more than herself… but she was working on that last part. Finally working on how to love herself.

The question she pondered now, as she brought to light that conversation, was whether she would in fact be able to accomplish ... loving herself. Seeing Todd ... well ... certain old emotions had returned, certain ... personal reactions. He brought out her worst ... he brought out her inability to indulge in self-respect, in self-preservation.

Abuelita, she thinks, remind me. Please, talk to me once more.

‘Si, I noticed that. You stopped listening to your heart because you cannot handle what it speaks to you. '

‘Listening to my heart got me in this mess in the first place. I need to think with my head now… if I'm going to ever heal.'

‘Pobrecita, all this time, all this pain and you have learned nothing from it. Nothing. That wounded little girl who was left behind, she is still big part of you and will never heal if you continue to deny her.'

‘No, NO! You make me sound just like HIM!

‘Ay dios mio, that is my point, do you want to end up like HIM!? Too afraid to listen to your heart?'

‘No, Abuelita… I don't know what to do. I don't know how to handle these feelings, I never have.'

‘Why easier for you to help HIM than yourself?'

‘What are you saying? That I found it easier to hide behind HIS problems and his pain rather than face my own?'

‘Si. Now you are listening to what your heart is telling you.'

‘I loved him with everything I had, more than I loved myself, that is why I wanted to help him heal.'

‘But you do not love yourself, Mija, that IS your problem… and his.'

‘I think I see what you're saying. I failed to help him learn to love himself because I didn't know how to teach him that.'

‘You do not fail HIM, Tea, you failed yourself. You are a wonderful person that needs to love yourself before you can expect others to love YOU the way you need to be loved.'

‘Where do I start, Abuelita? When I look in the mirror I don't see that wonderful person. All I see a failure, in love and life, I mess everything up.'

‘I have tried for years to teach you to love yourself. But I have not, does it make my love for you any less?'

‘No, Abuelita, I know you love me, I've always known and counted on that. I think you're only one that ever truly has.'

‘What is love? Wanting what is best for another. Wanting to protect someone? Is this not all HE wanted for you, too, Tea?'

‘You think he loved me, truly?"

‘Why cannot you say his name anymore? I do not know if TODD loved you truly, Tea. But I believe TODD showed he cared more about you than himself in the end, Tea.'

‘I don't want to hear his name or say it aloud. I don't need to anyway he's still too much a part of me even though he considered himself and his caring bad for me.'

‘He wanted to protect you. That is part of love, Mija, as I tried to protect you from what I too thought was bad for you.'

‘It's not the same thing, your love never hurt me.'

Tea takes a deep breath ... sighing ... fiddling with the hem of her shirt and remembering being in that kitchen with her precious, wise Abuelita. A percolator had bubbled in the background as they had spoken and that sound oddly reflected the simmering nature of the Todd's and Tea's love for each other. Bubbling ... popping, something rumbling beneath the cover, something threatening to boil over ... yet until such time, only bits of heated liquid show through, only bits of the truth.

Tiny .... wet ... bubbles of truth.

‘Si, Tea, my love has hurt you … I may be old, but I am not blind. I can see my mistake in your pain.'

‘Abuelita, what are you talking about? I would be far worse off if it wasn't for you.'

‘Mija, my mistake was that I have kept a truth from you. I see now, I was wrong to do so. My failure, my mistake ...'

‘What, truth?'

‘Life is strange.'

Strange ... truths. Tea's heart clenches a moment ... realizing that were it not due to the devastation of losing Todd, and the state she found herself in… her abuelita may never have seen the desperate need inside her to understand the deepest pain of her childhood, her mother's abandonment. Had it not been for Todd's and Tea's love boiling over, blowing up, Abuelita may never have broken her sacred word to keep "the secret" from her.

‘I don't know if I can ever get past my love for Todd. But thank you, Abuelita, for helping me get past hating myself for not being good enough for my mother to take with her.'

Tea leans back and studies the gilded beams of wood decorating the room's ceiling, her eyes moving smoothly across the lines. Abuelita had been in a strange way, guarding Todd's love for Tea because she understood keeping secrets. This ... she understood. For a moment, Tea thinks back ... further back ... and remembers all too well, the brightness in his eyes as he bends to touch his lips to hers. As he says, I love you ... you believe in me. Those eyes ... those hurt, bright eyes.

He brought out her best, her ability to reach out to someone else and ... not abandon them.

Wiping the last tears from her face, Tea moves to stand in front of the mirror and faces herself. As she has been teaching herself to do, she does not flinch away from the pain reflected back at her. Pain has become like a best friend to her after all, familiar, almost comforting in his presence. Her insight that perhaps Todd felt a similar connection to his pain was interrupted by a knock at the door.

Turning sharply to the door, Tea assumes it is Roseanne back for more misery-loves-company conversation. ‘We Delgado women sure are batting zero at love these days,' she wonders, thinking if helping boost her niece's fragile self-esteem will ease her own heart in light of her recent relationship woes.

Another impatient knock prompts Tea to rush to open the door with a bit sharper than planned exclamation, "All right, all right, Roseanne-" only to meet the eyes of one very dangerous looking Todd Manning.

He brought out her worst.

Like Abuelita slamming closed the moisture ridden lid of the percolator, Tea clamps down on her inner scream of frustration. Suddenly self-conscious about her appearance, Tea's shoulders tense, and her back assumes a rigid stance as she chooses to fling his defiant glare right back in his face.

She bites out, "What the hell are you doing here, Todd?"

For his part, Todd Manning is not looking all that well himself. Hazel eyes are glinting with equal parts of fierceness and tiredness. Sleep is once again proving elusive for him. Dressed in black from head to toe the analogy of a big dangerous panther suits him more than ever.

Preparing to bite back an equally nasty retort, Todd pauses and takes in the view of his… well his current wife if she is to be believed. Thinking his Delgado looks more like something the dog dragged in than the lovely, composed woman he married provides some inner amusement. Enough amusement to release a long breath and give her a long once over with his heavily lashed, hooded eyes… a look formerly guaranteed to send her pulse racing-

Only to be met with a slammed door in his face.

Growling out angry oath, Todd pounds the door again, "Open the damned door, Delgado, I want the truth, damn you!"

Meanwhile…

Max Holden's Home
Llanview, PA
April 2, 2001
Close to midnight

Max Holden, formerly Max Buchanan, is not often given to contemplating his life or his choices, good or bad. However, on this night, alone, so very much alone, he finds himself indulging in a bit of soul-searching, a rare occurrence indeed for him. Once upon a time with Luna, he may admitted to belief in a higher power, perhaps going as far as that goddess mumbo jumbo of hers… but that was years ago, in another lifetime it seems to him now. Yet, somehow Luna or more likely his thoughts of her have put one thought inside his head, that bad karma wins out every time.

He has no one left in his life as a result of all his lies and scheming. Al, off with Gabrielle, wants nothing to do with him. The twins, Luna's beloved children, consider him a stranger. He has no one but himself to blame for THAT. Both Renee and Asa have turned their backs on him and perhaps he could live with ALL that loss if hadn't lost her too… somehow losing Blair remains the biggest hole in his current life.

Blair Dailmer Cramer… whatever all her names Max bitterly reflects has been like a steamroller plowing through his life for years, leaving behind wreckage after each attempt at making a relationship work between them. In a rare honest moment, Max acknowledges his own part and blame for that wreckage. But it's a rare moment as he is royally ticked off at Blair for daring to beg for his help!

Fuming at her gall to call and once again enlist his help to preserve that disastrous third marriage to HIM, that psychopath Todd Manning, Max storms about a bit, tossing couch pillows, magazines and anything in his wake to the floor in disgust! Working up a good head of steam, Max ignores the soft tap at the door. He knows she's on the other side of that door. His hackles have been raised for the last fifteen minutes because like a wolf can smell his mate, so can he always know when his Blair is near.

Stubborn to a fault, he let her build up the courage to knock on his door and some impatience as knock after knock is ignored. Finally, Blair loses what little patience she ever had to begin with and pounds with both fists screeching, "Max Holden, you open this door, now, or else I'll…. I' swear I'll"

Rolling his eyes to the heavens, he practically begs Luna to for once take pity on him and intercede on his behalf, but that fails to elicit any response. ‘Why should she' he mumbles to himself, ‘been ignoring ME and my pleas for years!'

Storming to his front door, Max flings it wides. Flashing a deadly killer smirk, he sneers, "Why Blair, I didn't hear you knocking. So sorry, have you been waiting long?"

Overcoming the tempation to slap that smirk right of his face, a disheveled Blair stalks past him and sharply turns to face the one man on the planet that can drive her completely out of control. Clamping down on her bitter infuriation, Blair manages to compose herself into a firm demand, "Max, you know why I'm here. I need your help… I want… no, I demand you to tell the truth for once in your miserable life!"

Slamming door shut, resigned to another "round of their tit for tat games" Max flashes her almost charming smile while taunting, "Blair, sweetheart, you wouldn't know the truth if it came right up and bit you on your shapely derriere! Besides, I offered my deal, Todd gets WHOLE truth or nothing from me!"

Firmness caves to wheedling tone as Blair pouts, "Max, please… for my baby's sakes, just tell Todd we didn't sleep together. You don't want an innocent child hurt, do you? I know you have a heart in there somewhere."

"No go, Blair, I tell Todd everything or nothing. Your choice!" Max replies. Leisurely approaching her, almost hovering in her face, he whispers seductively, "What will it be… Mrs. Manning… or should I call you by your real name, Mrs. Max Holden?"