Get it Back ~ Chapter 11

Tea lets the hot water run over her, eyes closed. She feels her neck and shoulder muscles relaxing from the heat, and almost falls asleep...almost. A sudden sting wakes her up, and she looks down at her arms, rubbing her bandaged wrist. Both cuts were healing well, enough that she could almost forget they were there...

...almost...but not completely. She would always get a reality check when she needed one...a stinging, sore reminder of what she had done to herself. She holds her forearm, her palm pressing on the bandage, her thumb rubbing against her skin...why, she doesn't know. It certainly wasn't doing anything to help...just a way to soothe herself, she supposes. She sniffs, blinking the water out of her eyes as she leans against the wall...staring at the water, running over her hand like a tiny waterfall.

Then the bathroom door opens with a squeak, and Tea glances through the frosted shower door.

"Mija? You okay?"

Tea looks back at her arm for a second, then lets it drop finally. "Yeah," she says, as she reaches down and shuts the water off. She wipes her face, then slides the door open a bit. Carlotta pokes her head in, smiling.

"I can barely see you in this fog," she jokes...but Tea can't seem to muster a proper reaction. She just stares back at her. Carlotta clears her throat, smiling again because she can't think of anything else to do.

"Well...I have to get downstairs. Cris can't cover for me 'til this afternoon, so."

Tea nods at that, looking down. Carlotta sighs, as she takes a step in and grabs a towel off the rack.

"And, um...well...Rae just called. She'll be here in half an hour."

Tea looks back up, rolling her eyes at that. Then, with an angry sigh, she snatches the towel from Carlotta. She pushes the door open and wraps the towel around herself as she steps out. Carlotta steps back, as Tea moves over to the sink, and angrily goes about brushing her teeth. Carlotta watches her for a moment, with a helplessness that Tea sees in the mirror. It makes her feel instantly guilty, and she has to look back down. Carlotta stands there, wanting to rub her shoulder, or give her a hug...she even starts to reach out. But she stops, not wanting to aggravate her any more than she already is.

She sighs again. "I'll bring her up when she gets here," she says...then walks out. Tea stops brushing as soon as she leaves, taking the toothbrush out of her mouth. She bends down over the sink and spits...then leans down farther, folding her arms and resting her head on them.

Carlotta only gets a few steps away when she hears the sound of...nothing...a sudden cease in activity. She turns back, ready to run back in and be a mom...but again, she stops, just on the other side. She stays there until she hears the water running again, the sounds of Tea getting herself together...getting ready.

*****

Todd pulls up and parks his car in the first spot he finds on the street. He gets out, looking around at the neighborhood, one that he hadn't been to in quite a while. Angel Square...the working-class, lower-income part of Llanview that the Vegas called home. He pulls his coat closed, then starts walking, heading for Carlotta's diner. He had no idea what would happen to him...well, actually, that wasn't true...he knew exactly what would happen if Carlotta or any of Tea's pseudo-family saw him. They'd go ballistic. But as he walks on, he realizes that he doesn't care. All he needed to do was get information...even a vibe would do. That wouldn't take long.

He stops when he sees the diner...immediately paranoid, looking for the booby traps that might be waiting for him if he gets too close. For a second he wonders if Del might be watching him from somewhere...from behind the bushes across the street, or inside one of the parked cars. He scans the area, holding his breath...waiting for a sound, a movement, anything.

But nothing happens. The sound of a doorbell draws his attention to the two guys exiting the diner...two guys he doesn't recognize. He makes a face as they cross the street with their steaming cups of coffee...then he sighs, chewing on his lip as he stares at the door. He was definitely getting a vibe...but what it was trying to tell him, he couldn't say.

Then suddenly, he hears a car approaching...behind him. He freezes, not sure if he should turn around...or start walking. After a second, he opts for the latter, and walks quickly down the block, away from the car. He hears it slowing and stopping, as he gets to the corner...so he rounds the bend, stopping just on the other side. Then he pokes his head back around the corner, peering back up the street at the car.

A shiny, black, ultra-expensive car sits parked in front of the diner now, and he sees movement inside. After a second, a dark-haired woman gets out, her face buried in a fur coat. Todd makes another face, wondering why someone with that much cash would waste their time in this neighborhood. The car alarm turns on with an echoey 'beep-beep' as the woman walks quickly into the diner. Todd watches the area for another moment, then starts walking back up the block, slowly.

*****

Carlotta looks up as Rae enters the diner, making sure the door closes behind her, shutting out the cold air. She offers a cordial smile as she walks over to the bar and sits down.

"Hello, Carlotta."

Carlotta smiles back as she places a mug in front of her. "Coffee?"

"Absolutely. Can't function without it," Rae replies, taking her gloves off and rubbing her hands.

"Mmmm...I'm the same way...so's Tea."

Rae glances down at that. "Yes...so...how is she this morning? She ready for me?"

A heavy sigh is her response, as Carlotta puts the coffee pot back on the warmer. Then she shrugs.

Rae nods. "Kinda figured."

Outside, Todd crosses the street, walking as casually as possible as he gets up to the diner. Then he stops, looking in the windows, even though he can't see anything with the blinds down. He examines the car, but doesn't see anything that would tell him who it belongs to.

Then he looks up, his eyes drawn to the windows above the diner...Carlotta's apartment.

*****

Tea ties Carlotta's heavy robe around her, shuffling through the living room in socked feet. She runs a hand over her blow-dried hair, that's still a little damp as she makes her way to the window. She passes the coffee table, then stops...turning back to look at the morning edition of the Banner sitting there.

She picks it up, scanning one of the headlines: 'Former Llanview ADA Out of Hospital After Suicide Attempt.'

Her mouth falls open, and new tears spring to her eyes...then the horror turns to fury, as her teeth clench...and she hurls the paper across the room, right into the window.

Todd does a surprised take at seeing something hit the glass, sending paper flying everywhere. He watches closely, holding his breath again...waiting for something else to happen.

Tea slaps her hands over her eyes, unable to stop herself from crying. She suddenly felt so horrified...so humiliated. It never even occurred to her that this might happen...but now, there it was, staring her in the face in bold type. EVERYONE in town knew what had happened...maybe even the whole county by now. She couldn't even get her mind around it...everything was becoming too surreal...too scary. But her breathing finally slows, and the tears dry up again...having tapped out for the moment. She sniffs hard, wiping her face. Then she stares up at the ceiling, as if trying to summon strength from somewhere...and it's at least another moment before she moves again, over towards the window to pick up the mess on the floor. She sighs as she bends down, picking up the scattered newsprint and crushing it all in her hands. Then she straightens up, arms filled with paper, and glances out the window.

She freezes...and outside, so does Todd. Seconds pass, and neither of them make a single move or sound. Finally, Todd manages to blink himself out of his stunned state...and he opens his mouth a little, as if he were about to say something to her...as if she could hear him from where she was. He sees her take another step towards the window, and can see her breath on the glass. But he can't say anything...he doesn't even know what to do now, or what he's been doing there at all anymore. So his mouth closes again...and all he can do is gaze up at her, with no particular thoughts in mind. No idea. No clue.

Tea looks at him, her head drifting down, down, down...until it taps against the glass. And she also has no particular thoughts in mind...just a river of loss, longing and helplessness flowing between them, each of them standing on opposite banks, staring silently at each other. Almost as if...there wasn't anything to be said, or done. Things just were the way they were. Tea blinks slowly, her expression softening...a dreamier, sleepier look in her eyes...

...then her mouth turns up, into the slightest and saddest of smiles. An extremely subtle change...but one that Todd can see from where he is, like it was meant for him...and him alone. She too, sees his response, with the blink of his eyes and the drop of his shoulders. Understanding, and a strange sense of calm lingers between them...and both Todd and Tea find themselves oddly satisfied by it...at least, for now.

Then a knock at the door breaks the moment, and Tea looks away, toward the door.

"Mija? You decent?"

Tea looks back out the window, gazing down at Todd again...taking one last mental picture before she turns away, walking back over to the couch. She sits down just as Carlotta opens the door, with Rae following behind her, carrying two cups of coffee. They both see the crumpled up papers in her hands, and stop.

"What's all that?" Carlotta asks.

Tea looks up at her, shooting an unpleasant look at Rae while she's at it. Then she untangles the front page, putting it down on the table to smooth it out, and pushes it at them. Both Carlotta and Rae step over to the table, looking down at it.

Carlotta gasps. "Oh my god..." she starts. Tea watches her as she snatches up the paper and crushes it again.

"...Tea, I'm so sorry...I...I completely forgot...I didn't want you to see this. I'm so sorry."

Rae grabs the paper from Carlotta, stretching it out again to examine it more closely.

"Kevin...why am I NOT surprised?" she says, mostly to herself. Tea looks over at her, watching her do the same thing and crush the paper up again.

"Well," Rae says, directly to Tea. "Looks like I'm just going to have to have a little talk with him."

Tea just glares back at her...then looks to Carlotta, who starts making her exit, with an apologetic face.

"Um...I should get back downstairs. Let me know if you need anything," she says, quickly leaving the room.

Tea watches the door shut behind her, and can't help but feel like a prisoner all of a sudden, watching the dungeon door slam shut. She sighs heavily, not wanting to look at Rae, who's now sitting on the other end of the couch, sipping from her coffee cup. Tea smells the coffee, and suddenly, she can't think of anything else she wants more. So her eyes dart over, then finally, her head turns.

Rae just smiles, offering Tea the other cup. "Here. I know you need it as much as I do."

*****

Before he knows it, it's mid-afternoon, and Todd finds himself standing outside of Starr's school, waiting for her to come out. He shifts around, as he leans against his car...unlike all the other parents, who sat in their cars with their heaters running. But Todd wanted Starr to see him as soon as she came out...and before Blair could get there. He unfolds his arms, then refolds them, a little unsettled...at noticing how 'okay' he actually felt.

Until today, he'd been hiding away, for the most part...roaming like a ghost around the penthouse, afraid to go near Starr in his state of mind...not wanting to deal with Blair. But now, all he could see in his head was Tea looking down at him from the window...smiling...at him. Even though things still weren't right between them, it was a glimmer of hope...and a promise of something better, however small. It had given him a push, and a sudden need to reconnect with his daughter...to explain himself, after what had happened with Blair.

The bell rings, and a moment later the front doors open, letting out a rowdy bunch of kids who spill down the steps and out towards the waiting cars. Todd cranes his neck, looking for her...and she finally appears, one of the last to come out. She spots him immediately, and a huge smile lights her face. Todd grins, waving to her as she runs over.

"DAD!" she yells, throwing her arms around him. Todd picks her up, backpack and all, with some difficulty.

"Jeez...kinda books are you carrying in here?? Pre-med? Dang."

Starr giggles. "I have history homework. It's a big book."

"Guess so...oof," he grunts, putting her back down. "Remind me to wear a weight belt next time."

Starr laughs again, letting her bag drop onto the ground. "Are you driving me home?"

Todd squats down, shaking his head. "Nah...Blair doesn't know I'm here."

"Oh," she replies, disappointed...then she makes a face. "Is something wrong?"

He shrugs. "Well...I have some explaining to do."

She makes another face, confused for a second...then she realizes. "Ohhh...that fight you had with Mommy."

Todd grimaces at that, knowing that 'a fight' doesn't really describe it...then he sighs. "Yeah," he says, as he stands up.

"Listen...why don't we sit in the car? It's too cold to stand around out here."

Starr nods, going for the door handle...when a hand suddenly reaches in and grabs hers roughly, pulling her away. Both Starr and Todd look over and see Blair standing there.

"And just what the HELL do you think YOU'RE doing here??" she spits, already furious. Starr tries to wrestle her hand out of her mom's tight grip as Todd sighs heavily.

"Mom...let go!"

Blair looks down at her, then reluctantly loosens her hold...but doesn't let go. "Sorry, sweetie...but you're going HOME...WITH ME," she says, more to Todd than anyone else.

Todd runs a hand over his hair, sighing again. "Look, I wasn't trying to---"

"Shut up. Just SHUT UP. I don't wanna hear another word outta you."

Starr makes a horrified face. "MOM...why are you being so mean?? Daddy came to apologize to you!"

Todd looks down at her with a 'what??' look on his face. Starr widens her eyes at him for emphasis.

"Right, Dad???"

Todd's eyes dart up to Blair, who just laughs. "Yeah...RIGHT. Well, you'll forgive me if I just...DON'T CARE!" she says, as she starts to pull Starr away again. Starr struggles, trying to keep them in place.

"No...wait...Mom!"

"I don't have time for this, Starr...let's go," Blair says, continuing to walk. Starr looks back at Todd, silently begging him to do something. He rolls his eyes, looking away for a second...feeling all that 'okay-ness' suddenly leaving him, and being replaced with old anger. He looks back, and sees them getting farther away.

"Blair...STOP."

And stop she does, in spite of herself. Her back to him, she runs her tongue along the inside of her cheek before turning around.

"Look, I'm not interested in your apology, okay? Apologies don't mean anything to you anyway...and besides...I don't care WHAT you say. You're NOT sorry. So don't try pulling this fake 'humble' act. I'm not buying it."

Starr finally manages to get her hand free, and she pulls away from Blair, standing between them...watching as they stare daggers at each other over her. Todd swallows hard, finding it increasingly difficult to say anything, much less anything apologetic.

"I just...wanted to explain to her, that's all. I don't want Starr thinking it was her fault."

Blair's eyes flash with indignance. "How dare you...I told you before...I have HAD IT with you talking to MY daughter about ME...behind MY back!!" she yells, getting right in his face.

"And if you think you can slap me around...and still be alone with Starr...you're HIGH."

Todd shuts his eyes at that, knowing Starr heard it. He bites the inside of his lip hard as he opens his eyes, wanting to cry and throttle Blair, all at the same time. Blair stands there, reading his eyes...the 'how could you?' that he says, without saying anything. She moves back, folding her arms...waiting for his reaction. But all Todd can do is stand there, staring past her...terrified of looking at his daughter.

Finally, Blair sniffs...satisfied that she's put him in his place. She turns to Starr, who just stares back at her, in disbelief...and silent shock. Blair takes her hand again, picking up her backpack with the other hand.

"C'mon sweetie. Let's go home," she says gently...then pulls her away again. Starr walks with her reluctantly, looking back over her shoulder at Todd, who just stands there, frozen...unable to move, or think. By the time he can finally take a step, Blair has Starr in the car and is walking around to the driver's side. In a flash, he's right up to her, stopping her from getting in. She steps back, glaring at him.

"I can't believe you," he whispers.

She laughs, humorlessly. "Awwww...did I rat you out? I'm just sorry I didn't do it before."

"Blair," Todd says, with a soft pleading that takes her off-guard. "Don't do this...please...I love her...you know I do. You know I'd never hurt her---"

"Why, just 'cause she's a kid??" she interrupts. "Well, what happens when she gets older? Huh?? I mean, at what age does it become okay to start slapping girls around??"

"Goddammit..." Todd mutters, through clenched teeth. "I would never---"

"Oh, you are so full of SHIT! You would 'never'...hmm. I hate to tell you, honey...you HAVE. With me...with Marty...and god knows who else. I mean, Tea's certainly got a mouth on her...I'm sure you've had to bitch-slap HER a few times, huh??"

Inside the car, Starr climbs over to the driver's seat, and stares out at them...listening to their muffled argument continuing. Todd looks away again, so angry and humiliated now, he can feel himself shaking. Blair pushes him aside with the door as she opens it.

"I remarried you to do you a favor...is this how you pay me back?" he finally asks.

She stops, turning to look at him again. "Well, let's see...it's either take my chances with the courts...or be your punching bag. Think I'll go with the courts."

Todd looks at her, making eye contact again. "You won't take her from me, Blair...you WILL NOT."

"Oh yeah? WATCH ME."

With that, she starts to get in. Starr moves back to her seat, still looking up at Todd. He sees her and makes an apologetic face...but he can see she's looking at him differently now...with trepidation in her eyes. The damage is done...and it cuts him right to the bone. He backs off as Blair slams the car door. Then she rolls down the window to fire one last round.

"Gloves are off, Todd. I'm through defending you to her. So you'd better get ready to explain all the OTHER things she doesn't know about...yet."

Todd's mouth falls open slightly, as she rolls the window back up and pulls away from the curb, driving off...leaving him standing there. His breaths come out in steamy clouds, as he watches his daughter disappearing in the distance...knowing Blair was going to take her home, sit her down, and rat him out for every stupid, spiteful thing he'd ever done to anybody.

And to think, just a few minutes ago he'd been hopeful...Tea's smile had filled him with it. But it was gone now. Maybe it never was...maybe it was something else. Maybe somehow Tea knew he was going to be hit with the same kind of pain he'd inflicted on others over the years. Maybe somehow she knew what had gone around was coming around...and had smiled, not at him...but at knowing he might finally learn.

All he could do now was wait...wait and see how bad it would get. His thoughts stop there...afraid to go any further. He walks back to his car absent-mindedly, eyes unfocused and hazy...and he gets in and drives off...but to where, he had no idea.

To Be Continued