The couch is definitely the world's greatest invention.
That's what Todd thinks to himself, as he lies there, in the light of the afternoon sun, motionless...feeling all of his limbs relaxing. He listens to the quiet around him, quiet except for the faint sounds coming from upstairs...that's where Tea was with the babies, changing them and getting them dressed. He'd just spent the last hour picking up the mess in the living room...getting the place ready for the onslaught of company, which would undoubtedly be starting that day. He sighs at that, wishing he could keep everyone out, away from this place...from their home, their safe haven.
Safe.
He suddenly makes a face...wondering what made him think that.
Who says it's safe? It still gets dark, even in here.
Then he makes another face, wondering where THAT thought came from. He sits up, rubbing his face, running his hands over his hair, catching it all in a bunch behind his head and holding it there. Then he finds himself having to shake off another one of those weird, creepy-crawly chills. He'd been doing it all day...and the night before.
God, what the hell is wrong with me?
But before he can become too introspective, the whole place suddenly echoes with loud knocking.
"Dad!!! Tee!!"
Todd looks over toward the door, at the muffled voice coming through it. He shakes his head, still shaking off the creeps as he gets up and heads for the door. He swings the door open, to find Blair, holding a big, beautifully wrapped gift.
"Hey," she says, with her typical blinding smile. Todd just stares back at her, blankly...suddenly noting to himself how his ex-wife always seems like such a phony, even when she's being sincere. Starr, on the other hand, just pushes past him, wasting no time busting in.
"Where are they?? Can I see 'em???"
Todd makes his way back into the living room, leaving Blair to let herself in. She takes a few steps into the living room and stops, making an impressed face.
"Wow...I expected the place to be a mess."
Todd grins as he scoops a giggling Starr up in his arms, and turns around to face her. "Yeah, well...just don't look under the couch," he says, as he plants a big kiss on Starr's cheek. Then he shifts around, barely able to keep her from slipping out of his arms.
"Jeez...you're gettin' too big to hold."
"Guess I'm not such a shorty anymore, huh?" she says, proudly.
Blair cracks up at that, then her eyes catch Tea, coming down the stairs slowly, with a twin in each arm. She looks at Starr, and points. Todd turns around with her and Starr gasps with delight, her face lighting up. She jumps out of her dad's arms and runs over to Tea, running right into her and hugging her around the middle. Tea reels from the weight of her, smarting a little.
"Ooof...hey, you."
"Hi! Hi!" Starr says, waving at both of the babies. "Can I hold 'em? Pleeeeeease?"
Tea laughs, gesturing to the couch. " 'Course you can. Go on, sit down."
As Starr jumps on the couch and settles in, Tea walks up to Blair, smiling gently. Blair smiles back...there's a bit of an awkward silence between them, as there always has been...and probably always will be.
Finally, Blair shrugs, making an effort. "So...how do you feel?" she asks.
Tea looks at her for a moment...then just cracks up, shaking her head. "Like crap."
Her unexpected candor takes Blair off-guard...and to her own surprise, and Tea's...she laughs, earnestly, and nods.
"Mmm-hmm. Been there, done THAT."
Todd sits down on the couch, next to Starr. They watch as Tea turns a side to Blair.
"Blair, this...is Evan. Say hi to Blair, Ev."
Blair can't help but smile at the tiny boy. "Wow...hey there, handsome."
Then Tea cocks her head to the other side. "And this...is Brendan."
Tea notices the look that suddenly comes over Blair's face...her eyes mist up a little, but she still smiles at him, as she reaches out and gently touches his hand.
"Oh...I always liked that name," she says, softly.
Tea glances over at Todd, who makes a bit of a face. Then she moves closer to Blair, offering her the baby.
"Wanna hold him?"
Blair looks at her, and tries to say something, but she's too surprised. Tea just smiles back.
"Don't worry, he's been fed and burped and changed, so...he should be pretty mellow for a while."
Blair just laughs...then offers her arms. Todd and Starr watch as Brendan passes from Tea's arms to Blair's, gently. She shifts him around, making sure she has a good hold on him. His head comes to rest comfortably in the crook of her arm...and Blair laughs again, as he looks up at her...blinking contentedly. She looks up at Tea, who tosses one of those soft, terry baby towels over her shoulder.
"Think he likes you," Tea says, smiling, as she heads for the couch.
Todd reaches up and takes Evan out of Tea's arms, holding him out in front of Starr with just his two hands...one behind his head, the other under his butt, letting his arms and legs dangle.
"Say hi to your big sis, there, dude."
Starr waves at him. "Hi!" she chirps happily, as Tea lays a towel over her lap and sits down beside her.
"Ready? "
She nods, pressing the towel over her lap and holding her arms out. Todd gently places Evan in Starr's arms as Tea helps her get a hold of him properly. Evan settles into position without complaint, kind of sinking down into her arms.
"There you go...just keep holding his head up, like that...yeah. Oh, here, let me pull your hair back or he's gonna pull it. There you go...you got it," Tea says, letting them go.
"Tee, take a picture...I brought my camera!"
"Oh, okay," Tea says, making an impressed face at Todd as she digs in Starr's little purse, and pulls out a disposable camera. Blair laughs as she holds Brendan, swaying a little.
"Y'know, ever since she got back from Montana, she's been crazy about taking pictures. We got tons of 'em, laying all over the house now. I think you're gonna be a famous photographer someday, sweetie."
Starr smiles broadly, then turns her attention back to Evan, making little noises at him. He looks up at her with bright, inquisitive eyes, stretching and squirming around. Todd looks at his daughter admiringly, watching her. He grins, amazed...amazed at how she's grown...and amazed that such a happy, self-secure, loving, beautiful child came from him and from Blair, two of the most screwed-up people on the planet.
"Smile," Tea says, as she takes a picture of them. They all blink at the flash. Tea turns and snaps a shot of Blair with Brendan, then puts the camera back in Starr's bag. She glances over at Todd and notices how intently he's staring at Starr. She wrinkles her brow a little, about to say something, when he suddenly gets up.
"Be right back," he says, as he darts into the kitchen. Tea looks after him, a little concerned.
Blair interrupts her train of thought, passing in front of her to sit down with Brendan.
"So Tea...you should open your gift."
"Oh! Right," she responds, lowering herself down on the floor. She turns and glances toward the kitchen again...then shrugs, turning her attention to the box. She pulls the bow off, rips the paper and starts digging through the layers of tissue. Finally, her hands find the object, and she lifts it out.
"Ohhhh...it's beautiful," she gushes, smiling at the delicate mobile. She taps the hanging stars and clouds, watching them spin around.
"Wind it up...it plays 'When You Wish Upon a Star,'" Starr says.
Tea cocks an eyebrow at her as she winds the music box. "Ohhh...a little personal touch."
She lets go of the key and it starts to play...the tinkly sounds of the music draw the attention of the twins, both of them looking over at it. Tea smiles at them both, watching them watching the mobile spinning. When the music box loses its steam, she places it back in the box, gently. Then she gets up and goes over to the couch, planting a kiss on Starr's head.
"Thank you...it's beautiful," she says, then she smiles at Blair. "Thanks, Blair. That was really thoughtful."
Blair nods back, as Brendan reaches out and grabs a strand of her hair, yanking.
"Ow!" she shrieks, pulling her hair out of his grasp. Tea makes a face, stifling a giggle as Blair holds the baby out in front of her.
"Now you listen here, mister. There'll be none of that."
Brendan just kind of thrashes about happily as he looks back at her, kicking his legs out. Blair smiles at him, lifting him up high, then lowering him back down on her shoulder. Tea laughs a little as she checks on Evan, who's still enjoying Starr's noises and funny faces. She kisses his head, then gets up.
"Listen, let me get you guys some iced tea or something. That okay?"
Blair and Starr both nod, but are totally distracted by the babies. Tea grins at them, then heads for the kitchen. When she gets to the doorway, she stops...seeing Todd standing at the sink, just leaning on it, his back to her. She watches him for a moment, then takes a few steps toward him.
"Hey."
He whirls around, startling her. Then he calms down, slumping against the sink. She walks up to him, leaning on the kitchen chair in front of him.
"You okay?" she asks, quietly.
He nods, but is clearly not. Tea gives him a knowing look. "I know that face. It's not a good one...so what is it?"
Todd looks into her eyes...and they say what they always say to him. I'm here...with you. I'm not going anywhere. It always made him feel better...and it did this time, too, but...there was also something else. A familiar feeling comes over him, but it's something he hasn't felt in a while. For some reason, he is suddenly reminded of the time when their relationship was at its most fragile and tumultuous, when it seemed like they were always just seconds away from destroying each other. He remembers looking at her then, and being scared of that very thing...scared that he would lose her for good, because of the kind of person he was...because of that darkness that was so much a part of him.
But he had been able to push that fear down, had been able to get past it just enough to keep his bond with her intact. In fact, with everything that had happened, that old fear had gotten pushed way down to the bottom of the pile of fears he kept inside. Other fears had taken its place, primarily the fear for her safety...the fear for his children's safety...much more basic, perhaps more practical fears. Todd wrinkles his brow a little, realizing that the old fear has returned. Tea stands up, taking a step into him, looking more deeply into his eyes.
"What?"
He shrugs. "Dunno...it was weird. I was just looking at Starr, and...all of a sudden I felt really weird."
"Weird?"
He shrugs again, avoiding her eyes. "Scared, I guess."
She sighs, knowing what he's talking about...then she reaches up and pushes his hair behind his ears, her favorite sign of affection.
"I know I don't have to tell you this, but...I'll say it anyway. I'm not going anywhere. I'm here...the kids are here...and we'll ALWAYS be here..."
He looks back at her, relieved by those words...but at the same time, a little troubled by them.
"...I could never leave you, you know that. We're joined at the hip," she whispers.
Todd grins at that, taken off-guard by her wisecrack...then he pulls her closer to him, bringing their faces close.
"What, like that?" he asks, in a seductive whisper. Tea grins back, blushing a little.
"Yeah...something like that," she starts, then cracks up. "...except without the clothes and stuff," she finishes, giggling at the same time.
He cracks up at that, too...they stand there laughing quietly for a moment, their foreheads tapping together gently. When they finally simmer down, Todd leans in and kisses her...lightly at first, then a bit harder. Tea responds to it, grabbing a hold of the back of his head, tangling her fingers in his hair. He wraps his arms around her, tightening his hold on her as much as possible without hurting her. The two of them quickly become wrapped up in each other, both of them having just about forgotten what it was like to do this. But before it gets too intense, the sound of someone clearing their throat breaks the moment. They separate and look toward the door to see Starr standing there, arms folded. She cocks an eyebrow at them knowingly.
"Are you guys making another baby already?" she asks, as if she already knew the answer.
Both Todd and Tea's eyes widen at that. They look at each other, stunned silent for a moment. Then Todd makes a face at his daughter, pointing at the living room.
"Uh, hey, smarty pants. Get your little butt back in the living room."
"But Tee said she was getting us a drink."
"Oh! Yeah, I did, didn't I?" Tea says, breaking away from Todd and going to the fridge.
She grabs a few small bottles. "Here, Starr...one for you, one for your mom."
Starr grabs the bottles, then gives her dad a cheesy smile over her shoulder as she struts out of the room. Tea grabs a couple more bottles, tossing one over to Todd before she closes the fridge. She just laughs again, still caught totally off-guard...she makes a face at Todd as she opens her tea bottle with a pop. He returns the look, walking up to her and punching her arm lightly.
"That was all your fault, y'know."
She punches his arm back, harder. "Was NOT...shut up."
"Was too," he says, returning the hit.
"Was NOT!"
"Was too!"
They stand there, punching each other's arms until they both start cracking up. Then Tea finally slaps his hands away playfully and sprints for the door. Todd catches up and grabs her around the shoulders, trying to get at her neck. She lets out a loud, obnoxious laugh as they both stumble out into the living room, still attached. They stop short when they see Blair, Starr...and the twins...all staring at them. They separate, clearing their throats. Blair rolls her eyes a little as Tea walks over and takes Evan out of her arms.
"Here, Manning...hold your kid, for god's sake," she says, jokingly, handing Evan over to Todd.
She giggles as he makes a face at her, slugging his tea...then he takes the baby from her, propping him up on his shoulder. Tea turns back to Blair, taking Brendan from her.
"Sorry. Didn't mean to strand you with both of them."
"Oh, that's alright, they're..." she starts, then lets herself say it, even though it means complementing Tea, indirectly. "...they're both such angels," she says, shrugging.
Tea smiles broadly, surprised...and genuinely touched, as she puts Brendan on her shoulder. He immediately starts fussing, and she changes her hold so he's cradled in her arms.
"Better?" she asks. The baby continues to squirm uncomfortably, still fussing. Tea sighs, looking at Blair and Starr.
"Well...maybe angel isn't quite the word," she says, as Evan follows suit, and starts crying too.
Tea makes a face over the growing noise. "Listen, I think they both need a nap, so, um..."
Blair stands up, checking her watch as she finishes her tea. "Yeah...that's okay, we gotta run anyhow."
Starr grabs her mom's hand. "Can't I stay?"
"Sweetie, we gotta get you over to River's, remember? Now c'mon, gotta go."
"Oh," Starr replies, a little disappointed.
"Well, we'll see you this weekend," Tea says, heading for the stairs with a loudly protesting Brendan.
Starr immediately brightens up. "Oh! Right! Okay, bye!" she says abruptly, grabbing her little purse. Todd walks them to the door, trying to shush Evan. Blair just laughs at him, shaking her head a little as she slips her sunglasses on.
"Have fun," she says teasingly, then waves and heads for the elevator. He squints after her, then looks down at Starr. She waves...he kisses his hand and blows it to her. She turns away and he gently taps her behind with his foot, pushing her toward Blair. He hears her giggling as he closes the door. As he heads for the stairs, he takes Evan off of his shoulder and cradles him in the crook of his arm, still trying to quiet him.
Tea calls down from upstairs. "Todd, get him up here! They're never gonna settle down until they're together!"
Todd looks down at his boy, getting all red-faced and upset. "Oh, is that it?" he whispers to him, as he walks upstairs and into the bedroom where the bassinettes are. Tea stands there, her hand on Brendan's chest, rubbing it soothingly. Todd sets Evan down in his crib, doing the same with him...and within a minute or so, both of them stop crying. Both Todd and Tea stand back, watching as the twin boys drift off to sleep.
Todd wraps his arms around Tea's shoulders, holding her from behind. "That...is weird," he whispers.
She nods, whispering back. "I know. Guess there must be some truth in those twin theories, huh?"
"Mmmm," he replies, burying his face in her hair. They stand there for a while just watching them...and Todd suddenly thinks of all the things he'd ever heard about twins...
...they can sense each other's presence for miles...each can read the other's mind...
...one cannot live without the other.
He tightens his grip on Tea, holding her tightly as he shudders a little at that last thought. She lets her head rest on his, unable to see the concern in his face...as he wonders where all these weird thoughts are coming from.
*****
The day goes by quickly, with the feeding, changing and napping routines...and the occasional phone call or person dropping by to gush over the kids. Pretty soon the sun has gone down and the penthouse is lit up...soon after that, the whole place is dark and quiet. Tea wakes up around 4AM, as her pain medication wears off and the soreness returns. Her hands move down to her belly even before her eyes open, lightly touching the area. She opens her eyes as she tenses up, smarting at her own touch. She lies there still for a moment, hoping maybe it will subside...but it doesn't. She sighs, cautiously pushing herself up on her elbows...and she stays there for a moment, getting used to the position before she tries going further.
She takes a moment to look around...right next to her is Todd, eyes closed and quiet. She stares at him for a while, wondering if he's really asleep. But as she looks at his face, barely visible in the dark...and watches his chest, rising and falling slowly, she knows he is. Her lips curl up into a small, tired smile...feeling like she's getting a peek at something secret...
Well. Todd Manning DOES sleep, after all.
She watches him for a while...knowing it's probably just pure exhaustion that's knocked him out...but all the same, it's quite a sight. She smiles again...then starts the process of getting herself out of bed quietly. She slips one leg over the side, planting her foot on the floor...then she uses that leg to pull herself toward the edge, grabbing onto it. She clenches her teeth as she pushes herself up to a sitting position. Once there, she takes a few breaths to take the edge off the pain, then steels herself again as she stands up. She turns around and looks at Todd...but he hasn't moved.
She grins...mission accomplished, she thinks, as she takes small steps over toward the bassinettes holding the boys. Peering over the tops, she realizes she can't even see them with all the blankets and bedding in the way. She shakes her head, reaching in and pulling the blankets down a bit.
Her brow crinkles. She pulls the blankets down further...and further...finally, she yanks them out altogether...
...to find an empty bassinette. She shakes her head in disbelief as she reaches into the other one, pulling the blankets out. A breath escapes her lips as she realizes it's empty too. Her heart racing now, she lets out a loud whisper...
"TODD!"
She looks toward the bed...he's gone. She whirls around, trying to see something, anything in the dark. Finally, she hears something out in the hall...
..someone yelling...? ...sounds like...Todd...
Tea makes her way over to the door, looking out into the hall.
"Open this door RIGHT NOW!!!"
Her head snaps over in the direction of Todd's voice...and she sees him, already dressed, with his long winter coat on...leaning on the closed bathroom door, frantically shaking the knob. Completely bewildered, she steps out into the hall.
"Todd...what are you doing?"
But it's like she wasn't there at all. He continues to scream at whoever is on the other side of the door, furious...and formidable.
"I said open this door, goddammit!!"
Just then, she hears the sounds coming from the other side of the door...a child...a boy...
Her eyes widen...no...two boys, both yelling back at him as they struggle to keep the door closed.
"NO!! Leave us ALONE!!!"
"MOM!!!! MOM!!!!"
Todd answers them back, in a low, icy...heartless tone. "Don't bother calling for her...she can't stop me. Now open this door!!!"
All of a sudden, Tea feels the air getting sucked out of her lungs, like someone just punched her in the gut. She stands there, watching this horrible sight...listening to her children crying for her in terror...listening to their father...her husband...the love of her life...threatening them. She tries to speak, tries to move, but can't. Unable to look at this vision anymore, she slaps her hands over her eyes...and sinks to the ground, crying.
"No...please...stop...stop...stop...stop..."
Tears run down her cheek and into her nose, waking her up. She sits up quick, breathing hard, and wipes her face. Todd looks over at her from across the room, about to put Brendan back to bed.
"Hey," he whispers. "Just missed the four o'clock show."
Not even listening, Tea draws her knees up, burying her face in them. Todd squints at her, unable to see her well.
"You okay?"
Muffled crying is his answer. He starts to walk over, then realizes he still has a sleeping Brendan in his hands. Gently, he lays him down in the bassinette and covers him up. Brendan stretches, stirring a bit and yawning before he drifts off again. Todd walks over to Tea's side of the bed and touches her leg. Without a word, she reaches out and hugs him tightly, crying into his shoulder. He wraps his arms around her, touching her gently...his face takes on a confused, concerned look as he realizes she's trembling.
"Oh, hey...hey. What is it?"
She doesn't answer him at first...so they stay like that for a while. Eventually, Todd feels the trembling easing up, and her crying subsides. She pulls back from him, taking deep breaths...then looks at him, wiping her face.
"I just..." she starts, then has to take another deep breath. "I just had the worst dream."
He just looks at her, worried. "Looks that way."
She stares into his eyes, and starts crying all over again...not wanting to say anymore. He reads her eyes in turn, and makes a face, getting a bad feeling.
"Wanna tell me about it?"
She sighs, wiping her face again, knowing she should probably just be honest about it. But the images and sounds were so horrible, so unthinkable...the words form, then catch in her mouth, as she mentally stops them from escaping. And as she looks at him, she wonders. What would it do to him, to hear that from her?
What WOULD it do? She wonders again. They'd been through just about every terrible thing two people could go through. But this...this was the one thing. The one thing that Todd never talked about, for fear of losing his mind...the one thing she never brought up, for fear of losing him. This was the one room that was off-limits...the door that remained locked, it seemed, for their own good.
Fairytale happiness was never in the cards for them, she accepted that...but now here they were, together...finally together, in their home, with their baby boys...the family they always wanted...as close to happily-ever-after as they could ever be. And now...NOW...she has this horrific vision, a frightening glimpse...of the monster Peter Manning must have been. Tea chokes on the words she holds in her throat...how could she possibly tell him? How could she possibly say that she's seen him as EXACTLY what he's been trying his whole life NOT to become? It could undermine everything they'd worked so hard for...it could break his heart...it could scare him back into that place inside himself again...the alters could start reappearing...
...the decision made, the words come out...before she even realizes it.
"I was back in that crack house...with those cholos who attacked me..." she says, quietly...her voice trailing off as she looks down, closing her eyes.
Oh my god. I just lied. I just lied to him...
Feeling awful, mentally and physically, Tea starts to cry again. Todd hugs her close, tucking her head against his neck, rocking her gently.
"You know this already, but...nobody's gonna hurt you again. Not you, not the boys...I won't allow it," he whispers, into her hair.
He feels her nod in response, and hug him back. Then she kisses his neck softly, patting his arm.
"I gotta get up."
They separate, and she wipes her face. He hunches down slightly to look in her eyes.
"Sure you're okay?"
She smiles, tiredly, nodding. "Yeah," she says, gently twirling a strand of his hair around her finger.
"Painkiller's wearing off, that's all," she continues, looking over at the clock. "I can't take anymore for another couple of hours, so...I should just get up, I think."
"And do what?" he asks, making a face. "You're not getting like these guys, are ya? You DO know what time it is."
She laughs a little, trying hard to put her nightmare out of her mind. "Hey, some of the BEST stuff on TV is on right now. Infomercials and endless reruns of that real-life show with all the kids living rent-free in some swanky pad in Hawaii or San Francisco or whatever...picking fights with each other all day long...quality stuff."
He cracks up at that. Just then, a soft, fussing cry floats out of one of the bassinettes. They both look over at it. Todd makes a little clicking sound with his mouth.
"He was still asleep when Brendan got up just now. I was hoping he'd STAY asleep," he sighs, collapsing, his head hanging off the edge at the foot of the bed.
Tea pats his leg and slowly makes her way up and out. He gently grabs her leg.
"I can get him."
She takes his hand, squeezing it. "Nah...fair's fair. Besides, like I said. I was getting up anyway," she says, making her way over to a fussing Evan.
Todd turns over on his stomach, watching Tea scoop him up, and gently place her pinky finger in his mouth to quiet him temporarily. She glances over at Brendan, still asleep...then shuffles toward the door, stopping to look at Todd.
"You guys rest...Ev and I are gonna watch the tube," she whispers, smiling at him as she closes the door behind her.
Tea gets all the way to the bottom of the stairs before stopping. She looks down at Evan's face in the moonlight...he looks up at her, sucking on her finger quietly. She suddenly lets out a labored breath, and the pent-up tears start to flow...as she lets out all the stress of holding back. She puts Evan on her shoulder, closing her eyes and hugging him tightly, as he starts to fuss again.
"Ohhhh...it's alright...it was just a dream...just a bad dream," she whispers, more to herself than to the baby.
To Be Continued...
