Todd: Sis?

Viki: Yes?

Todd: (Looking uncomfortable:) Ummm....

Viki: You're welcome, sweetheart.

Todd: (With difficulty:) Whatever.

Viki: (Quietly smiles to herself.)

[They hang up. Scene ends.]

*****

[Scene: Llanfair. Next day. Todd to the front door, rings bell. Viki answers, ushers him in.]

Todd: (Leans over and kisses Viki.) Everyone here, Sis?

Viki: Yes. What's going on?

Todd: I need to talk with all of you. (Crosses to the livingroom.) I've put this off long enough.

Viki: (Looks concerned, follows him in.)

Todd: (Stands nervously in doorway.) Hi. (His eyes dart around, he is trying to avoid eye contact.)

Viki: (Sits on couch, watches him.)

Sam: Hi, Todd.

[Music: REM's "I Don't Sleep, I Dream" plays over Todd's panic attack.]

Todd: (Panics, hard. Turns and bolts to the front door again, and opens it. Pauses, his head against the edge of the door a moment, and stares out through the open doorway.

[Camera shows his face: his expression is outwardly blank, but he is also very clearly panicking and wanting to hide or run. His eyes move from side to side, as if he’s planning his escape route.]

He begins to gently tap the side of his head against the door's edge several times, stops, closes door, straightens up and stands facing the door for several long seconds. Seems to steel himself a moment, taking a heavy breath. He wheels around and marches back into the study, closes the doors, and turns around to face the room, his hands still on the doorknobs behind his back. He looks ready to bolt again as he looks around the room. His face is impassive, but eyes openly fearful.

His whole posture betrays his panic. He is breathing hard.)

Tea: (Crosses to him and hugs him close.)

Todd: (He hugs her back, closing his eyes, nuzzling his head against hers. His breathing slows down greatly, and steadies.)

[Music fades but is still quietly audible until the song ends.]

Tea: (Breaks the embrace, kisses his mouth tenderly. Quietly, her hand on his cheek:) What's wrong, Todd?

Todd: (Looks in her eyes. Quietly:) I'm scared. (Swallows. Addresses the room:) I have something ..... to tell you all about. (Prepares himself, puts his head back against the doors for a moment, hands on Tea's waist, eyes closed a moment. Opens eyes, steps around Tea, and strides purposefully into the middle of the room to stand in front of them. They are all arrayed on the couch together, the couch arranged across the width of the room facing the doors.)

Viki: What's wrong, Todd?

Todd: Ummm........ (Looks very nervous, stands very still, eyes darting from face to face and away. Long pause, he stares out the french doors, at the back of the room, then begins to pace down the length of the room and back again. Stops near couch. Takes a breath, as if steeling himself again, turns to everyone. Exhales slowly through his mouth, trying to calm himself.) Ok.... Ummm.....

Tea: What's wrong?

Todd: Shut up. I can't think..... (Takes a breath. Exhales. Swallows.) Ok..... I'm going to try to trust you all with this.... (Starts pacing again.) You all know I was having really bad nightmares, right?

[Everyone nods.]

Todd: (Stops pacing, faces them.) I don't think you know what the dreams were really about. The only one I told was Blair, and I know she didn't tell anyone. She can't use it against me once I tell you, see? It was a fit of collossal stupidity almost as bad as that tape Pete was caught on that caused me to tell her any of this. I'm still mad at myself for it. You'd think I'd learn!

Tea: I know the nightmare involved Peter Manning chasing you through the house, and that he caught you and beat you. Did that really happen?

[Reaction shot: Sam looking protectively guilty. Viki upset and concerned.]

Todd: (Pained:) Yes.

Tea: It was a memory?

Todd: (Winces.) Yes.

Viki: You told me the dream was a flashback.

Todd: (Flatly, but controlled:) It was.

Viki: How did you know? When did you figure this out?

Todd: I didn't remember it the first night, not really. Bits and pieces only. Shook me up but good.

Tea: When did you realize what was happening?

Todd: I think the second night I had the nightmare. I started seeing more of it and then it was very obvious this was no dream, this was no mere nightmare, not like usual nightmares where everything is just ..... weird somehow. Like out of "Alice in Wonderland" or something. But, not this. (Looking shaken and apprehensive, runs hands through hair.) This was real somehow, in a way a dream just isn't. And then it hit me this was a memory, a (his voice trembles a little:) horrible, scary, painful memory. I couldn't escape my father. Pete's right, I’ll never escape what my father did to me.

Sam: (Anxious for Todd:) What did Peter do?

Todd: (Begins to pace again. Raking his hands through his hair.) I don't know what I did. He started in the middle of the night just screaming at me that night. I think he was drunk. The noise woke me up, I ran out of my room to get away from him, I knew he was coming, only he was down the hall in his doorway. Screaming. Calling me names. He saw me and came stumbling after me.

Tea: (Stands up and walks to him. He stops pacing. She takes his hand.)

Todd: (Looks into her eyes and seems to calm down somewhat.)

Tea: (Guides him to sit down on the couch between she and Viki.)

Todd: (Sits next to Viki, his knees together, elbows on thighs when he isn't raking his hands through his hair. His body language self-protective. He looks into space in front of him. He sounds as if he is simply reporting now.) It took weeks for this memory to unfold in my head, piece by piece. I couldn't sleep. The voices got so loud. I knew who they were.

Tea: (Sits next to him on his other side, Sam to her left. Gently:) Go on.

Todd: (Quietly, strained:) I must've been 4 or 5 then. Tiny. He chased me down the hall. He kept screaming at me, telling me I was worthless, and stuff... He just kept yelling and screaming, and he got closer and closer.... I-I-I went around the corner... tried to hide in the closet by the bathroom, in a big box of old clothes. At first he didn't find me..... but then he did..... All hell broke loose then. (He has become upset during this and pauses to try to compose himself.) Don't laugh, huh? (Looks around uncomfortably at them.) I had a big teddybear. He got left in the box.

Sam: (Gently:) Take your time. You're safe here. He can't hurt you anymore.

Todd: (Takes a breath, and prepares for the rest.) Ummm...... You'd think this would get easier each time I tell it..... He... uhh..... (he has some difficulty keeping calm) My Dad grabbed me by the arm and yanked(makes a sharp yank movement with his arm) me out of the box.... like a ragdoll.... (Anguish crosses his face. Takes a breath to steady himself, exhales.) dragged me into the hall. My teddybear, he was safe in the box..... As we rounded the corner in the hallway, I completely panicked.

Viki: That's horrible, Todd.

Todd: (Nods sadly, looking into space roughly by his hands. He seems to want to crawl under a large rock. He looks like a lost little boy, trying to control his emotions, his body hunched inwardly, so he somehow appears smaller. Emotional:) I was so little.

Tea: (Strokes his hair a few times, and puts her forehead against his temple, her hand on his back.)

Todd: (Takes her other hand in his and squeezes it, still emotional. Struggles to stay composed and get through this. Tea's touch calms him markedly, but it is still difficult. He starts breathing again.)

Sam: Is there more to this?

Todd: (Nods.) Yeah. (Pauses. Takes a breath, exhales.) Ok. (Swallows hard.) My Dad started dragging me. I fought, but couldn't break away to save myself. I felt so helpless. Mom was nowhere around. (Nuzzles Tea a moment, his eyes closed, a moment's refuge.) I panicked, terrified. I didn't know what my Dad was going to do to me..... (Sits up, stares into space. Pauses. Quietly anguished:) and then it happened. (Tries to calm down again, looks at his hands, fidgeting them. Strokes Tea's hand in his, still holding it tightly.)

Viki: It's ok, Todd. We're all here.

Tea: (Starts to cry quietly.)

Todd: (Nods, eyes closed. Opens eyes. Exhales, trying to calm himself.) When I panicked, I lost all bladder control, and wet all over his slippers. My Dad went completely nuts, and started beating me, slapping me across the face. My legs buckled under me. He lifted me by my arm and kept screaming at me, telling me how worthless I was, how much of a piece of total garbage I was. I freaked out even more. (Pauses.) Pete was there.

Viki: Pete?

Todd: (Nods.) That's when he started really hitting me again, when I got so mad at him and Pete showed up. He could see it in my eyes, I guess. He hit me some more.

Viki: You didn't deserve this.

Todd: I did. (His voice cracks.)

Sam: (Gently:) What did your father do next?

[Camera focuses on Todd and Tea only for the rest of this section.]

Todd: (Pauses. Looks into space:) He dragged me to my room, still screaming at me about how disgusting I was and how disgusted he was with me. I was hysterical. I think I was screaming. Next thing I knew I was.... airborne.... landing in a heap on the floor of my room... I curled up on the floor at the foot of my bed as small as I could, and just..... blacked out...... At some point, my Mom came in and was holding me.

Tea: (Gently:) The way I held you that night?

Todd: (Quietly, wide-eyed, in shock and awe:) That was how she held me. (Looks her in the eyes. Quietly:) I came-to when she was rocking me, the way you did.

Tea: (Smoothes his hair from his face, stroking his cheek and chin, looking into his eyes.)

Todd: (He reaches for her, to hold him.)

Tea: (Holds Todd, his head on her shoulder.)

Todd: (Closes his eyes, his face relaxing, still obviously upset, trying not to cry.)

Tea: (Holds his head gently against her cheek and cuddles him closely.)

Todd: (Responds by molding his body against her, holding her. He breathes deeply finally, a few times, as if he has been forgetting to breathe through much of this.)

[Scene ends.]