PREVIOUSLY

Tea: (Runs upstairs. Comes back with a few items of clothes in a satchel and the quilt off of her own bed.) Familiar -- ah, you, too.

Sam: (Nods.) Familiar objects might comfort him, yeah. Let's go. (They leave the Penthouse.)

[Scene ends.]

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[Scene: Todd: Alone in the cabin doorway having just arrived. It is roughly early evening, the sun is behind him and to the side. The image in the cabin interior shifts and he is in the cabin as a boy, with Peter. Todd draws a sharp breath. Camera pans the empty cabin to reveal Todd still standing in the doorway, the light behind him, and pans to his hand gripping the door frame, the knuckles white. He has dropped the dufflebag and it holds the door open.]

[Scene ends.]

[Scene -- Todd's Cabin. Nighttime. Phantoms lit by dusky sunset, coming in through the windows, and the bare bulb hanging from the cabin ceiling.]

Peter: (Cleaning and polishing a rifle quietly. Mid-morning or late afternoon.)

Todd: (Approx. 10 years old, wears a t-shirt and jeans, sneakers. Moving carefully, soundlessly, around the cabin. He is careful not to touch anything he doesn't have to and careful to handle things silently. Suddenly, while carefully handling a glass object, Todd knocks an empty tin can off the shelf next to it. It clatters to the floor. Todd gasps, and looking frightened, he turns to look at Peter.)

Peter: (Instantly enraged:) You worthless, clumsy, little worm!

Todd: (Jumps, staring at Peter, watching his every move. He is almost expressionless, except for wide eyes.)

Peter: I told you to be quiet! (Sets rifle down roughly next to him, advances on boy across the cabin, reaching for his belt and removing it from his pants.)

Todd: (Remains immobile, doesn't look at Peter, face distant and ashen, eyes wide and vacant. Mentally, the boy has left the scene behind.)

[Intercut: Todd is backed up against the cabin wall, behind where Peter is standing readying his belt to use against the boy. Todd is transfixed and unable to move, as he was as a child during the original events. He can't take his eyes off the scene, and they are wide with fear and pain. His hands and arms fan out a little away from his body as he presses himself into the wall and watches the memory unfold. This is the first time he's feeling the feelings that went with this scene.]

Peter: (Begins to beat the boy through his clothes with the buckle end of the belt. Todd makes no noise, nor does he move except as the blows move his body on impact.) You worthless little worm! Now I'll have to reclean that rifle! No, you will! You clumsy, good-for- nothing boy! You pathetic little worm! (Raises the belt.)

[Intercut: The sound of the belt slices the air and the buckle rattles through the air, landing on the boy's back repeatedly, as we watch the impact on Todd. He flinches visibly with each strike as he tries to melt into the wall, his face twisted in pain. He begins to sink to the floor and to his knees in an unusual loss of control, until he has moved a little away from the wall and turned his side towards the memory.]

Todd: (Crying out in pure anguish:) Delgadooooo! (He calls her name twice more, increasingly overcome with how alone he is and how painful this memory has been to relive.)

[He leans his arm on the floor and puts his face on his arm and the other around his head, to protect himself, now openly sobbing and crying. He begins to rock himself slowly, both arms now wrapped around his head, his body in a ball. He cries a long time. Hugging himself, he lays down on his side, to fall asleep, exhausted.]

[Scene ends.]

[Scene: Cabin. Morning.]

Todd: (Todd has been standing and yelling back at the phantom Peter Manning. Todd's hair is in his eyes, he looks scruffy, wears the same clothes he arrived in.)

[Camera pans the room. Todd is quite alone there and is too deeply caught up in this to realize it isn't real. Peter and Todd are in each other's faces.]

Peter: (Yelling at Todd:) You worthless, pathetic piece of garbage!

Todd: (Stands yelling back in an empty cabin:) I am NOT worthless! And you're just a common THUG!

Peter: (Yelling:) You're a failure! You can't do anything right! You couldn't even keep out of trouble long enough to finish college! You had to go rape another girl, didn't you learn anything?! Or are you too stupid?

Todd: (Yelling, practically screaming:) I learned to be just like you! Isn't that what you wanted? Everyone thinks I'm this ugly monster now, just like you!

Peter: (Still goading Todd:) Nobody cares about you! I don't even care about you, you're not my son! You're a rapist, and a troublemaker! You don't deserve to be happy, you haven't earned it! I wish you'd never been born!

Todd: (Upset:) SO DO I!!

Peter: (Grins. Mockingly:) Then why don't you just kill yourself, you worthless failure?

[Intercut: In the cabin in the NOW, Todd is all alone, and still upset after the vision seems to fade.]

Todd: (To himself:) I don't deserve you, Delgado, I really don't. I could never make you happy, not really. You deserve to be happy, but not with me. I'll only keep hurting you. You don't deserve that.

[He finds a rifle and some shells, and almost in tears, he begins to load it.]

[Camera cuts away to Sam and Tea in a car approaching the cabin on the roadway, Sam is driving his car. They are both dressed in casual traveling clothes, Sam wears black jeans and a plaid shirt with a denim jacket and a sweater, black boots; Tea in less-casual but serviceable travel gear to rough it in. They both look worried.]

[Camera cuts back to Todd as he sits on the floor of the cabin, his back against a wall, the rifle on his lap, and looks suddenly very calm and still. He only has a moment of calm before Peter starts up again.]

Peter: (Low and intense:) I never wanted you, it was your mother's idea to take you when Irene gave you up. I never wanted you. You're not my son. You should never have been born. You don't deserve to be happy, you haven't earned it. You were always a bad child. You don't deserve to live, Todd.

[Todd watches Peter approaching him, sitting on the floor now. Todd slowly raises the rifle so that it extends up his body from his lap and the barrel end rests above his Adam's Apple pointed toward the base of his skull. His hand moves to the trigger as Peter and a ghost image of himself continue to argue. He is immobile watching them. >From outside we hear Sam calling his name, but Todd doesn't react, he is lost in this waking nightmare. The cabin door opens and Sam enters.]

Sam: (Calls out, not seeing him immediately.) Todd? (Stops suddenly when he sees the state Todd is in.)

Tea: (Bumps into Sam in the doorway.)

Sam: (Twitches, moves out of the way just enough to allow Tea to see into the cabin and see this scene.)

Tea: (Shocked.) Todd?

Todd: (Unresponsive.)

Tea: (Turns to Sam) Sam? (Turns back to the scene.)

Sam: (Looks things over quickly. Turns to Tea, relieved.) No blood.

Tea: (Quietly:) We have to stop him.

Sam: (Advances toward Todd slowly.) Boomer? Boomer, you ok? Todd? (Arrives by Todd's side and kneels next to him. He passes his hand in front of Todd's eyes, he does not respond.) Something's really wrong, Tea. I think he's having another break.

Tea: (Advances towards Todd:) Todd? It's me, it's Tea. Are you all right, Todd? (She knows he isn't, this is to soothe him and coax him towards them.)

Sam: (Touches Todd's trigger hand and tries to get him to let go of the rifle, but he is immovable.) Todd, put the gun down please. You're safe now, Todd. Everything's ok now.

Todd: (Blinks several times. Looks at Sam and startles, as does Sam a moment. Quietly:) He's here you know.

Sam: Who is?

Todd: (Quietly:) Peter Manning. He wants me to kill myself. He's right.

Sam: No, he's not.

Todd: He is. I hurt people. All the time. I'm just what he always says I am. An ugly, worthless monster.

Sam: No, you're not, Todd. Give me the gun, Todd. I don't want you hurt.

Todd: I have to be.

Sam: No, Todd. You've been hurt enough.

Todd: (Quiet.) No.

Sam: Can we talk about this, Todd? Do you trust me, Todd?

Todd: (Looks right at Sam. Steadily:) I don't trust anybody.

Sam: If I didn't care about you, would I have come all the way up here to look for you? Would Tea?

Todd: Delgado?? (Looks behind Sam.) You came?

Tea: (Coming forward where Todd can see her well. Sweetly, gently:) Yes. Hi. We've been looking all over for you. Starr's very worried about her Daddy.

Todd: Starr?

Tea: Uh-huh. She wants her Daddy to come home.

Todd: She's better off without me.

Tea: No, she isn't. She's not eating, she's sleeping badly, she's been having nightmares that her Daddy is gone this time for good.

Todd: I'll only hurt her. See?

Tea: (Gently:) Do you remember what it felt like when your mother left you?

Todd: (Upset:) It was awful. I was left alone with him. (Points across the room with his chin. Camera cuts to a phantom Peter Manning grinning nastily back at Todd.)

Sam: Peter's not here, Todd.

Todd: Yes, he is. He's all over this place.

Sam: Give me the gun, Todd.

Todd: No.

Sam: Todd.......

Todd: I don't deserve to live, he's right.

Sam: Does Starr deserve to be without her Daddy? Really? Will this really make your daughter's life better not to really know you? Not to have her Daddy?

Todd: Yes.

Sam: That's not what Starr's been saying.

Todd: (Surprised.) Really?

Tea: She loves her Daddy very much. Todd, please come home. Starr needs you. We all need you.

Todd: (A bit more like himself, for a moment:) Nobody needs me. Nobody even likes me. I win.

Sam: You win what?

Todd: Blair and I used to compete for the Most Pathetic Award. I win.

Sam: You're not pathetic. Would we be here if that were true?

Todd: I don't know why you're here. Just let me die.

Sam: I can't do that, Todd. I love you too much.

Todd: (Touched.) You do? Why??

Sam: I just do. Come on, Starr's waiting. Viki's very worried about you, she wants to see you.

Todd: Viki? Why would she want to see me, after everything I did to her?

Sam: She's your sister. She loves you, despite yourself and what you've done.

Todd: (Looks across the cabin again, no Peter Manning. He seems to relax a little.) I don't see him right now.

Sam: (Reaching out:) Can I have the gun?

Todd: (Slowly opens his hands wide and the gun shifts.)

Sam: (Takes the rifle out of Todd's hands carefully and hands it to Tea, who puts it across the room from them and comes back, while Sam gathers Todd in his arms and holds him. Todd crosses his arms across his chest self-protectively.) It's ok, Boomer. Everything's ok. I've got you. You're ok. (Kisses the top of Todd's head and keeps holding him tight. Sam is teary.)

Tea: (Sits down with them.)

Sam: (Still holding Todd, but less closely.) Can you tell me what happened here?

Todd: (Leans away a little from Sam.) He was here.

Sam: Had something happened?

Todd: (Leans back against the wall and no longer against Sam.) He beat me with his belt because I dropped something and made noise when he was cleaning that rifle.

Sam: How old were you?

Todd: Maybe 10?

Sam: You were a Scout then.

Todd: That didn't help.

Tea: (Takes his hand.)

Todd: (He looks at Tea's hand and his, and then to her eyes, searching them.)

Tea: (Gently.) Hi. Welcome back.

Todd: (Stares at her.) I don't want to be 'back'.

Tea: We want you here, though.

Todd: Why?

Tea: You have a good side, a very good side. I can't have one without the other.

Todd: I'm not good.

Sam: You are sometimes.

Todd: Yeah? When?

Tea: You're great with Starr. She really loves her Daddy. She's been telling me funny things you do together and how much she misses you.

Todd: I miss her, too. She is my heartbeat.

Tea: See? Someone likes you. We need to get you home to Starr, ok? Sam and I like you, too, or we wouldn't be here.

Todd: (Quietly, intensely:) I thought I'd lost you, Tea.

Tea: (Touches his face. Quietly:) Ohhhh......you didn't lose me.

Sam: (Tiptoes out of the cabin.)

Todd: I know I've done things to you and hurt you. I don't deserve you. I don't deserve to be happy.

Tea: (Takes his face in her hands.) Yes, you do.

Todd: No.

Tea: I love you, Todd.

Todd: I don't see why.

Tea: (Kisses his mouth tenderly.) Isn't it enough that I do love you?

Todd: No. I don't know what love means.

Tea: It means things like searching all over for someone when he's run away and you don't know why or where he's gone. It means days of worry and walking the floor when he's ill or lost. It means holding you close when I find you. (Stroking his face.) Touching your face like this.

Todd: (Openly vulnerable.) It means being left behind.

Sam: (Quietly returns with the throwpillow, two small overnight bags, Tea's quilt. He stands quietly by the cabin door, not wanting to disturb them and holding the quilt and pillow.)

Tea: It doesn't have to. I came looking for you.

Todd: I'm afraid of your love.

Tea: So am I.

Todd: I'm sorry. (He turns away.)

Tea: (Holds his face again and turns his face back to her.) Don't be. You're safe now. I'm here.

Todd: I'll never be safe or good.

Tea: You can be.

Todd: I'm scared.

Tea: We'll both be with you.

Todd: Don't leave me.

Tea: (Smoothing his hair from his face.) I won't be far away.

Todd: I can't be what you want me to be.

Tea: You can be yourself.

Todd: That's not what you want, and I don't know who that is.

Tea: It is if I want you, Todd, all of you. And I do.

Todd: (Blinks at her once, face impassive. Pauses) I'm tired. Cried myself to sleep last night on the floor.

Tea: You did? That's so sad, Todd. (Keeps stroking his face. He watches her eyes. Tea' turns away to Sam a moment.) Sam? Can you help me get him into bed? (Turns to Todd.) I think you need some sleep.

Todd: (Nods head in small movements a few times, still watching her face.) Don't tell. (Whispered.)

Tea: (Kisses Todd's mouth tenderly.)

Todd: (Kisses Tea back, almost hungrily.)

Tea: (Holds his face, looking in his eyes:) I love you. I won't tell.

[Sam brings the quilt and pillow and sets them on the bunk. He and Tea help Todd up and onto the bed. Sam hugs Todd tightly once he has him standing, kisses his forehead. They variously tuck him in and remove his boots. His whole body speaks of fatigue. They cover him with some blankets and Tea's quilt. Tea sits next to him on the bed. He hugs himself.]

Tea: Rest here. Get some sleep.

Sam: (Lights a fire, adds more logs.)

Todd: Stay with me?

Tea: I will.

Todd: (Very quietly:) I was screaming your name last night.

Tea: (Whispered:) You were?

Todd: (Nodding his head.) Yeah.

Tea: (Strokes his face as he searches her eyes.) Thank you for trusting me with that. I won't tell.

Todd: (Mouths:) Thank you.

Tea: (Hovers over his mouth and kisses him again gently. Sits back up.)

Sam: (Busies himself orienting to the resources of the cabin and gathering Todd's belongings in one spot by the door.)

Tea: We'll pack your things, you rest. We can eat before we head back. Don't worry, ok? You're safe now. (Smoothes his hair back from his face..)

Todd: I can't sleep. I dream.

Tea: If you dream, we'll be right here.

Todd: (Closes his eyes and tries to relax, hugging himself.)

Tea: (Sits with her arm around him protectively.)

[Scene ends.]

[Scene: Around early afternoon, Todd is finishing an apple and throws the core out of the cabin door. He drinks some water from a canteen Sam gives him. Wipes his mouth on the back of his hand, and hands it back.]

Sam: Ready?

Todd: (Taking a big breath.) Guess I have to be.

Tea: (Slipping her arm around his waist.) You'll be fine.

Todd: I don't feel fine. (Turns and hugs her.)

Tea: Things will work out. You'll see.

(They all exit the cabin and close it up. Tea holding Todd's hand.)

[Scene ends.]

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[Scene: Llanfair front door at dusk. Todd, Sam, Tea. Sam rings the bell.]

Viki: (Answers door.) Sam! Have you found Todd?

Todd: (Steps forward, looking unsure if he's really welcome. Looking almost strung-out, hair uncombed.)

Viki: (Moves to Todd.) Todd! Come here. (Advances towards Todd, who is immobile. Holds Todd close.) Mmmmm... (Looks at him.) I was worried about you. Welcome home.

Todd: I don't live here.

Viki: Llanview is your home now, and you are my baby brother. This is your home, too.

Todd: (Can't really look at her.)

Viki: (Hugs Todd again. He finally hugs Viki back cautiously, putting his head on her shoulder and closing his eyes.)

Sam: (Puts his hand on Todd's shoulder. Mouths to Viki:) He's had a rough time.

Viki: (Holds Todd's face and looks him in the eyes.) Are you all right, Todd? You're trembling.

Todd: (Stressed.) No. (Pause. Tired:) Where's Starr?

Viki: Upstairs asleep. She missed you.

Todd: (Quietly, tiredly:) I missed her.

Viki: (Squeezes Todd's hand and leads him inside, followed by the others.)

Todd: Which room?

Viki: Top of the stairs, on the right.

Todd: (Lets go of Viki's hand, and lopes up the stairs two at a time.)

[Scene: Moments later. Guest bedroom, Llanfair. Room is dark. Starr is sound asleep in an adult-sized bed, the covers still tucked around her.]

Todd: (Opens the door slowly and looks around the door to see if Starr is asleep. He enters the room and stands over her bed, looking at her, watching his daughter sleeping peacefully. He takes off his boots quietly and sets them aside, takes off and drops his jacket to the floor at his feet. Then he gets quietly into the bed next to Starr, gathers her up against him under the covers, and holds her in his arms as she sleeps. He leans against the headboard and falls asleep like this, halfway sitting in the bed.)

[Scene ends.]

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