PREVIOUSLY
Sam: You're ok, Todd.
Todd: It feels so wierd.
[They exit the house, Sam shuts the front door behind them.]
[Scene ends.]
*****
[Scene: Hallway at Llanfair, upstairs. Todd is visiting Jessica.
Coming down the hallway, he hears the refrain to The Goo-Goo Dolls'
song "Iris", and stops in his tracks in shock. He regains
composure, and proceeds into Jessica's bedroom.]
Todd: (Enters Jessica's room, the song still playing.) Jessica?
Jessica: (Sits up on her bed.) Hi, Uncle Todd.
Todd: (Wide eyed.) What's this song called?
Jessica: "Iris", why? You ok?
Todd: (Still a bit stunned:) That's just what it feels like
sometimes.
Jessica: Like what feels like?
Todd: (Silent, zoning out, staring blankly.)
Jessica: (Concerned:) Uncle Todd?
Todd: (Comes back to the moment, blinking a little, looks around
until he meets Jessica's eyes.) Ok. (Sees her
expression.) I'm ok.
Jessica: Come sit down, Uncle Todd. (Pats her bed.)
Todd: (Crosses from doorway, sits on Jessica's bed. Looks at
her.) Sorry.
Jessica: (Reassuring:) It's ok. What about the song?
Todd: That's what dissociation often feels like.
Jessica: Like what?
Todd: (Haltingly, looking into space:) Like I'm hiding, o-only
it's in front of everybody, right? ...... O-only, they
can't see me -- nobody can see me -- hiding...... I seem
to go on as before (intense, almost whispering), and no
one knows the difference....... (Looks at her:) I wasn't
lying, Jessica... I wasn't.
Jessica: Everyone thought you were. We were all so sure.
Todd: That was Pete..... Look, I'm sorry I hurt you -- we hurt
you. I wasn't in control.
Jessica: Why didn't you say anything?
Todd: I didn't want everyone thinking I was screwy.
Jessica: Not people who know you and know better. Not people who
love you.
Todd: How could I tell anyone I didn't know how I'd gotten the
places I wound up? How could I tell anyone about the blank
spots? The blackouts? Lost weekends? The noise in my
head? Not remembering things?
Jessica: We would've understood.
Todd: That's all scary enough without telling people about it. I
was scared and ashamed. I don't want to be locked up in
some institution.
Jessica: You could've told my Mom. She'd've understood.
Todd: It's not easy to talk about. Trust is so hard for me,
Jessica, even with Viki and Tea. I didn't want to upset
Viki. I didn't want her to worry. I thought Tea would
panic, leave.
Jessica: That's silly, Todd. Mom was worried about you when you
took us all hostage, when you went catatonic. She always
worries about you. She worries about our whole family.
Todd: (Registers the "our" with raised eyebrows.)
Jessica: Then, we all ended up thinking you were lying when we
heard the tape.
Todd: Everyone hated me when they found out about the tape.
Jessica: That was before we knew.
Todd: You know I would never hurt you?
Jessica: Yes.
Todd: Ok.... I'm sorry for the things Pete did. I couldn't stop
him.
Jessica: I understand. Now. I was really hurt at the time, and
because of the whole hostage thing at the lodge. Do you
understand?
Todd: Yes. (Pauses. Cautious:) Are you still hurt? Still mad
at me? Do you still have doubts?
Jessica: Yes, yes, and yes. You're still my uncle, Todd. I love
you. As awful as you are at times, it's still hard not to
love you.
Todd: (Stunned, and in awe, he looks at Jessica.)
[Scene ends.]
[Scene: Todd's office. He stands at his window, his forehead
against the glass, staring blankly in front of him, not-seeing,
hands jammed in his pants pockets. Tea arrives.]
Tea: (Calls to him:) Todd?
Todd: (Lost in thought and doesn't hear her.)
Tea: (Crosses to window, touches his arm.)
Todd: (Turns, head still against the glass, twisting his body
slowly to face her. Leans shoulder and head against
window.)
Tea: What's wrong?
Todd: I don't know. (Slowly taps his head against the window
glass.)
Tea: Is it the Paper?
Todd: Me. (Rests his head against the glass.)
Tea: You?
Todd: Something's very wrong. I don't know what it is.
Tea: Physical?
Todd: Emotional.
Tea: Are you sleeping?
Todd: Less and less.
Tea: I thought I was hearing you pacing at night more.
Todd: (Stares into space.) Sometimes I leave the house to go
walking. Sometimes I come here.
Tea: Please, let me in.
Todd: (Looks at her, distressed.) I can't.
Tea: (Reaches up and strokes his face, moves his hair off his face
and behind his ear.)
Todd: (Quietly:) It's all suddenly going wrong somehow. I don't
know how to stop it, Tea.
[They look in each other's eyes, as Tea continues to stroke Todd's hair.]
[Scene ends.]
To be continued in "Todd's Nightmare"......
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