Parents set rules for their children, and although the kids might not like the rules, they respect their parents for having set them.  Generally, children abide by their parents’ wishes in order to win approval (teenagers excluded!).  In effect, compliance is an opportunity for children to earn coveted items or privileges.  For example, children are taught to say “please”, and in return, they may be granted such things as a favorite snack, a new toy, or the chance to stay up late.

Why is it that adults have no qualms about setting guidelines for their children, yet they feel guilty doing the same for the family dog?  For instance, Rusty nudges his owner’s arm for a pat, causing his owner to spill a drink.  Yet, the owner reaches out and pats Rusty anyway while saying, “It’s okay, boy.  You didn’t mean it.”  Or Rusty admires the potato chips his owner is munching, so he whines and stares with those big, sad eyes until his owner gives in and shares the whole bag.  Then at bedtime, Rusty jumps in uninvited, and his owner moves over.  Each time, the owner thinks he’s spoiling his pet, but the dog’s perspective is vastly different.  Dogs don’t comprehend feeling spoiled.  Rather, the dog believes he controls his owner, not the other way around.

As pet owners, we’ve all probably said, “This dog is stupid.  He just won’t listen to me.”  Not true!  Dogs are not stupid.  Often, they just don’t respect us as their leaders.  Why should they if we constantly console them and fulfill their every need without ever asking for anything in return?

So what can owners do?  It’s simple!  Begin by insisting that the dog say the canine equivalent of “please”, which is merely to sit before a need or wish is granted.  If the dog nudges you for a pat, tell him to sit.  If the dog doesn’t respond, it’s important that you don’t repeat the command.  Instead, help the dog into the sit position, and then reward him with an ear scratch.  If it’s doggy dinnertime, fix the meal but have the dog sit before you put the bowl. down.  If you feel like sharing your chips, make the dog sit before you hand them over.  The dog wants to get up on the bed, and you like him there?  Have him sit, then call him up.

If all family members, including children (with parental assistance at first), are consistent with this simple rule, your dog will be on his way to becoming a well-behaved companion, and he’ll have a more positive attitude about the rest of his training.