Searching everywhere for something true
You're at the age of not believing
When all the "make-believe" is through
When you set aside your childhood heroes
And your dreams are lost upon a shelf
You're at the age of not believing
And worst of all you doubt yourself
You're a castaway where no one hears you
On a barren isle in a lonely sea
Where did all the happy endings go?
Where can all the good times be?
You must face the age of not believing
Doubting everything you ever knew
Until at last you start believing
There's something wonderful in you
You're at the age of not believing
And worst of all you doubt yourself
You're a castaway where no one hears you
On a barren isle in a lonely sea
Where did all the happy endings go?
Where can all the good times be?
You must face the age of not believing
Doubting everything you ever knew
Until at last you start believing
There's something wonderful in you!
As long as I do it with a flair
What effect a little smoke is with a dash of hocus pocus
And the scent of burning sulfur in the air
I’m a fraud, a hoke, a charlatan, a joke,
But they love me ... everywhere.
For it really doesn’t matter what I do, what I do
As long as I do it with a flair
And it really doesn’t matter what I say, what I say
As long as I say it with a flair!
First I rattle off a ready stock of gibberish and poppycock
And fix you with my best hypnotic stare.
With my moans and groans and soporific tones
They have cheered me everywhere!
For, it really doesn’t matter what I say, what I say
I said it when I tell it with a seamless selabin
The magician’s nursery rhyme
Abra…cadabra! You succumb to it, every time!
Wave a stick, and each trick, will mystify and disarm.
In fact, to coin a fitting phrase, it works, like a charm!
So, it really doesn’t matter what I brew, what I brew
As long as I brew it with a flair.
Though I’ve never cast a magic spell
I make the motions very well
My showmanship is far beyond compare.
I’m a rogue, a rake, a mountebank, a fake,
But I do whatever I dare.
For, it really doesn’t matter what I do, what I do…
You buy my charms and poxes ‘cause they come in fancy boxes!
To improve your ugly daughter, I’ve a vial of colored water!
And my magic incantations can be framed as decorations,
Though there’s really nothing to it, and of course, you all see through it,
You love me cause I do it, with a flair!
But I can speak the jargon
That can give your gift the needed lift.
You possess the know-how
And I command the show-how
Oh, how successful you could be ... with me!
Eglantine, Eglantine!
Oh, how you’ll shine!
Your lot and my lot have got to combine.
Eglantine, Eglantine!
Hark to the stars
Destiny calls us
The future is ours!
As the shine sells the boot,
And the blossoms the fruit
All you need to succeed in your plan
Is the proper ally upon whom to rely
And I'm your man.
For I have an acumen that's nigh superhuman.
I sell things that nobody can!
So I humbly suggest
You accept to my behest
I'm your man!
Eglantine, Eglantine
Oh, how you’ll shine
Your lot and my lot have got to combine
Eglantine, Eglantine
Hark to the stars
Destiny calls us... the future is ours!
With my expert pantomiming
The proper taste and timing
I'll introduce you in the manner grand
I'll whet their appetite for you
I'll set the scene so right for you
We'll have the beggars eating out of your hand.
As the words sell the tune
And the moonbeams the moon,
All you need to succeed in your plan
Is a champion rare, with a flourish ... and a flair
And I'm your man!
EGLENTINE: I have always had a bit of a knack for witchcraft
Common spells and simple charms came naturally
So when the war began, I conjured up a plan
To do my bit in the national emergency.
I enrolled in your Correspondence College of Witchcraft
And I slaved at every lesson as it came.
But the spell I counted on,
Is the lesson that is gone.
It's disappeared, and you're the one to blame!
Your suggestions are rash and your manner is brash
And I've no time to waste, Mister Brown.
If I am to proceed, it's that book that I need.
Don’t let me down!
But if you'll see me through
I'll discuss it with you
Though I've no taste for playing the clown
If I meet with success, then I might acquiesce-
MR. BROWN: I won't let you down!
Eglantine, Eglantine!
Oh, how you’ll shine!
Your lot and my lot have got to combine
Eglantine, Eglantine!
Hark to the stars
Destiny calls us, the future is ours!
Street where the riches of ages are stowed.
Anything and everything a chap can unload
Is sold off the barrow in Portebello Road.
You’ll find what you want in the Portebello Road.
Rare alabaster? Genuine plaster
A filigreed samovar owned by the czars.
A pen used by Shelley? A new Boticelli?
The sniper that clipped old King Edward’s cigars?
Waterford Crystals? Napoleon’s pistols?
Society heirlooms with genuine gems!
Rembrandts! El Greco’s! Toulouse-Letrec’os!
Painted last week on the banks of the Thames
Portebello road, Portebello Road!
Street where the riches of ages are stowed
Anything and everything a chap can unload
Is sold off the barrow in Portebello Road.
You’ll meet all your chums in the Portebello Road
There’s pure inspiration in every creation.
No cheap imitations, not here in me store.
With garments as such as was owned by a Duchess.
Just once at some royal occasion of yore.
In Portebello Road, Portebello Road
The fancies and fineries of ages are showed.
A lady will always feel dressed a la mode
In frillies she finds in the Portebello Road.
“Burke’s Peerage,” “The Bride Book,” “The Fishmonger’s Guidebook,”
A Victorian novel, “The Unwanted Son,”
“The History of Potting”, “The Yearbook of Yachting,”
The leather bound “Life of Attila the Hun.”
Portebello Road, Portebello Road
Street where the riches of ages are stowed
Artifacts to glorify a regal abode
Are hidden in the flotsam in Portebello Road
You’ll find what you want in the Portebello Road
Tokens and treasures, yesterday’s pleasures
Cheap imitations of heirlooms of old
Dented and tarnished, scarred and unvarnished
In old Portebello they’re bought and they’re sold
Portebello Road, Portebello Road
Street where the riches of ages are stowed
Artifacts to glorify our regal abode
Are hidden in the flotsam in Portebello Road.
You’ll find what you want in the Portebello Road
What a chance to get a better peep
At the plants and creatures of the deep
We glide
Far below the rolling tide
Serene
Through the bubbly blue and green
It's lovely, bobbing along
Bobbing along on the bottom of the beautiful briny sea
What if the octopus
The flounder and the cod
Think we're rather odd
It's fun to promenade
Bobbing along, sing a song
On the bottom of the beautiful briny sea
It's lovely, bobbing along
Bobbing along on the bottom of the beautiful briny sea
What a chance to get a better peep
At the plants and creatures of the deep
It's grand
When you're dancing on the sand
Each glance
Bubbles over with romance
It's lovely, bobbing along
Bobbing along through the water where we get along swimmingly
Far from the frenzy
Of the frantic world above
Two beneath the blue
Could even fall in love
Bobbing along, singing a song
On the bottom of the beautiful briny sea
Bobbing along, singing a song
On the bottom of the beautiful briny,
Shimmering shiny, beautiful briny sea.
Substitutiary locomotion
Mystic power that's far beyond the wildest notion
It's a weird so feared, yet wonderful to see
Substitutiary locomotion come to me
Treguna Mekoides Tracorum Satis Dee
Treguna Mekoides Tracorum Satis Dee
I don't want locomotiary substitution
Or remote intrasitory convolution
Only one precise solution is the key
Substitutiary locomotion it must be
Treguna Mekoides and Tracorum Satis Dee
Substitutiary locomotion
Lovely substitutiary locomotion
You may substututiary history
With Treguna Mekoides and a little help from me
With Treguna Mekoides Tracorum Satis Dee
It's a step in the right direction after all
After all, it's a step in the direction
It's a step the right direction after all.
When a baby spider
Tries to trap a fly
Often times, the silken thread
Will come awry
Though a tangled web is all that he can claim
It's a step in the right direction all the same.
All the same, it's a step in the right direction
It's a step in the right direction all the same
All the same, it's a step in the right direction
It's a step in the right direction all the same.
When a little sparrow wants to leave the nest
First he has to put his feathers to the test
Tumbling from a treetop can't be called success
But, it's a step in the right direction nonetheless.
Nonetheless, it's a step in the right direction
It's a step in the right direction nonetheless.
Nonetheless, it's a step in the right direction
It's a step in the right direction nonetheless.
Watch the tiny totters inching up a hill
It may seems to you he's merely standing still
Though the steps he takes are infinitely small
They're a step in the right direction after all.
After all, it's a step in the right direction
It's a step in the right direction after all
After all, it's a step in the right direction
It's a step the right direction after all.
