Finding Jobs and Your Boss

Finding a job (in NJ) is the easy part...
keeping it is the difficult part for a single parent.
Why?
The variables; meaning it all depends upon the stability and/or consistency
of other things. ALL THINGS. Success ALL hinges on everything.
Let me explain.

Job Market

Here in New Jersey, there are jobs. I have read (and heard) that the rest of the nation is not so lucky in that area, for jobs are scarce.

Transportation

Ok, heres an important one. You have to have transportation to get to a job, pick up/drop off kids, pick up kids at school when they are sick, etc. I completely understand the importance of this one. If you live near public transportation, count your blessings. Where I live, none of the public transportation comes through here, so in this area, I'm pretty much screwed, so I HAVE to have a vehicle.

Daycare & Babysitter(s)

In order to have a job (and keep it) you need a babysitter, or (here in NJ) the state child protective services WILL take your kids. As a single parent, this is one of the hardest things to overcome.

Daycare centers and preschools (here in NJ) are $25 dollars per day, per child. I have four children, so you do the math. At Minimum Wage (5.15 per hour), that wont even pay for the daycare. If I take the x back to court, have him held responsible for most of the daycare costs, I could do it. Problem is, he doesnt even pay the child support in a timely manner, so its impossible to have him pay for daycare so I can work. Ah screwed again.

DONT GIVE UP!

Then you will have to FIND a babysitter. Do you have a friend or relitive whom is home during the day? I know, most of them work, but call around and ask. It doesnt hurt to ask. In my case, took a pencil and pad of paper and walked around the entire neighborhood. I knocked on every door explaining who I was, where I lived and asked them if they knew of any little old ladies or teens who babysit. I got a few nibbles, but nothing ever came of it. The babysitters today get $4 dollars per child, per hour. Ah screwed again.

BUT I'M STILL NOT GIVE'N UP!

You have to find one you can AFFORD. This means "you get what you pay" for applies. If you have a cheap babysitter, you already know what I am about to say. THEY DONT SHOW UP HALF THE TIME. You literally GET WHAT YOU PAY FOR. You cant afford a more expensive (reliable one), yet you NEED one. You will go through quite a few babysitters at this rate. They will run up your phone bill like you have no idea. They will COST you money, but you will need to endure it until you find another one. Yet another hurdle some people dont understand... odds are, they never will. Cant change the sheltered mind honey, so dont even try and explain it to them.

CANT CHANGE A SHELTERED MIND

People who dont have a large family, and those suits on capital hill sure dont get it. They have NO IDEA how many problems single parent have. Hell, they dont even know how much a loaf of bread or gallon of milk is today. Why? Because its all done for them, everything. I call this "Sheltered minds". People who either grew up sheltered or are sheltered from reality/life. You cant explain it to them. They just dont get it. DON'T GIVE UP!

Wages

Yet another important variable. You have to be able to make enough to pay the sitter, and all of your living expenses. Here in NJ minimum wage is $5.15 per hour. The rent, food, clothing, transportation, etc. Look on my other pages for ideas that will help in these area's but you more then likely will need to make a decent wage. Most single parents find a second job; they leave their kids alone at night and just do it. They HAVE no choice. Risky? Yes. But they have no choice. Its survival.

Your boss

First of all, try and find a boss who's flexible or the work hours are flexible. Finding one who allows you to work at home is a rare one, but ask just the same. As long as you produce, and do your job, showing you CAN do it at home, he/she may let you. You will know soon enough what kind of mindset they have.

Since I have four children, they go to four different schools. This means, each one is exposed to hundreds of fellow students. This obviously (OBVIOUS to some) that they are exposed to sickness moreso then the 'small' family.

If your boss has only one or two kids... brace yourself. Most boss's dont understand if your kids get sick, and dont care. They just want you there no matter what. If your boss has no kids, or a small small family... your in for it.

The only thing I say, if you have a large family, expect to bounce from job to job to job. Boss's dont put up with an employee who's kids are sick (and constantly at the doctors).

Its just the way things are. Its ok. Lots of jobs are just a neccessary thing right now in your life, and its more common then people think.

Just hang tough... and hang in there.

Working at home

Seen those ad's for 'working at home'?

Well, I am sure you have found out, or shortly will when you inquire, that its all crap. The people who sign you up, they get a kick back from the company, and they get paid extra (for example) if you sell a lot of home cleaning products, etc. If you find one that actually is on the up and up, I'd love to hear about it.

Other ways of making money

Being a single parent of a large family is hard. Not a little hard, very hard. No one wants to babysit that many kids, boss's dont understand your family gets sick more then a small family, etc. But there are other ways of making money. Working at home ad's are usually full of crap. Thats why some single parents turn to 'questionable' means. Its ALL about survival for your family. Thats all I will say about this subject.

If you can overcome ALL the hurdles, and ALL of the right things have stability and/or consistency, you have a job.

Pat yourself on the back. You overcame a great deal, and I, as well as other single parents, know how hard that was.

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