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Rhyno quotes!

"This is Rhino and I'm the best part of this fucking CD, and If you don’t think so I’ll come through them speakers and spear your ass through a fucking table you dirt bag son of a bitch." from the ECW Anarchy Rocks CD

"Rob Zombie must spend a lot of time at home, watching tapes of Rhino, because NO one in the world fits the description, better then me, of the SUPERBEAST." talking about Rob Zombie's song, Superbeast in the linear notes from ECW Anarchy Rocks CD

"Come on Spike! Get up!" Rhyno

WWE.com: And you're doing a little bit of working out?
Rhyno: Oh yeah. I've been training for a while. Actually, I took a couple of weeks off to get some stuff done around the house. I'm an electrician now. I do drywall work. I redid the hardwood floors. You name it. So if Vince McMahon or Linda McMahon need their floors done in their house, don't call anybody. Call me. I take pride in my work (laughs).

“Rhyno is the cure for Jerichoholism.” - Paul Heyman

"I love LA! I love big breasted women! I'm addicted to internet porn... Oh, I guess I shouldn't have said the last one." Rhyno, WWE House Show 11/22/03 LA, CA

  • Bruce Prichard "We have you written in for tomorrow's Raw."
  • Rhyno "Do I get to hug Trish Stratus?"
  • Prichard "Close. Eric Bischoff."
    WWE Confidential August 3, 2002

  • Eric Bischoff (seemingly talking to himself): "You just saw it yourself, The Undertaker! The man is filled with ruthless aggression; he's an icon in sports entertainment! And Rhyno, that's what you're going to be when you hook up with me. I mean, this show is all about momentum, that's what I'm all about. That's what I've been telling you all day long. When you're ready, nine months is a long time, I know that you're filled with ruthless aggression. I know you. I know you inside and out, I've read about you, I've watched you, I know everything about you, which is why I want you here with me, side by side, makin' RAW the #1 show in sports entertainment around the world, whaddaya say?"
  • Rhyno "Thank you for the first class travels."
  • Bischoff "Hey hey hey, my pleasure."
  • Rhyno "You know what - when I'm ready to come back...you know what, let's just keep in touch. The pleasure's been all mine."
  • Bischoff "No...mine. You take care. You take care!"

    February 2004 WWE Smackdown Magazine: "What sports did you play in school?"
    "I wrestled at 189 pounds, and later heavyweight. I played football, too, as a nose guard and tackle. But it didn't matter, I was f***in' crazy, I could switch just like that, in the middle of the game. I also did a little tap dance and ballet. I was in theatre, too, ya know, the XXX movies. But that was after school. Me and a couple of friends got together..." — Rhyno

    ”I never thought I’d see in a million years you not have the, how do you say it, Ca-hones?” - Rhyno to Eddie (Glad to see all those Acting lessons paid off, Rhyno-buddy)

    Christian quotes!

    Christian is seated - so the camera is low enough that we don't see Angle's head as he paces behind him. "Kurt, are you absolutely sure that you wanna do this?"

  • "Christian, I have to. I don't want to - but I have to go out there tonight. Christian, do me a favour. Touch these."
  • "Dude!" Christian looks and sees were his face is close to on Angle
  • "No, no, these." Kurt holds out the medals.
  • "Oh." Sigh of relief from Christian
  • "Feel them, Christian."
  • "I feel it, man, I feel it."
  • "That's real gold."
  • "I know, it's heavy!"
  • "I didn't get the right to wear these babies by backin' down. I mean, I have to treat this tonight as a positive. Going out there tonight will be one of the most courageous things I've ever done - as if I weren't enough of a hero already."
  • "You're right - and if you want to look at this as a positive, at least these people won't be chanting 'you suck!'"
  • "That's right."
  • "...they'll be chanting 'you're bald.' Heh heh heh (sings) 'You're bald/you're bald/' that's kinda catchy, you're - (sees Angle's hands on hips) - I mean, 'you're...bald-ly/hand-some/in a/manly way' - good luck out there, Kurt..."

    "Which brings me to Jeff Jarrett. I've got two things to say to you. One-you should never wear white pants after Labor Day. And two-I've come to TNA to take the one thing that's eluded me my entire career. The one thing we can both agree on is the most important and prized possession in this sport, the NWA World Heavyweight Championship." -- Christian Cage

  • Eric Bischoff: "What do you people say that this Sunday at pay-per-view for the Intercontinental Title, it's Chris Jericho versus Chris Jericho inside of this fifteen foot high steel cage?"
  • Christian: "What do you think about at Unforgiven, one-on-one, for the Intercontinental Championship, Christian versus Chris Jericho in a…wait for it…wait for it…no countout match! Listen to them. Listen to them. They're going Boo-yah!"
  • Chris Jericho: "There's a very, very simple recipe, Eric. You take vacant Intercontinental Title. Suspend it freely. You mix in a large, metal, climbing apparatus. You dump in a big, steaming pile of C.L.B. Then you add a huge helping of freshly squeezed Y2J. You mix it up, you shake it, you bake it. Out comes a tasty little morsel known as the Ladder Match!"

  • Angle: "And who`s the guy that brings happiness and joy to children all over the world every single day?"
  • Christian: "Kurt Angle."
  • Angle: "Exactly."

  • Christian, under breath as he stamps out: "Sucker...."
  • Jericho, annoyed: "I'm gonna ignore that. I'm not a sucker..."

    Coach: "Who would win a match between you and..." Christian: "Me." Coach: "Wait -- but you haven't even heard the question yet..." Christian: "Me." Coach: "...a match between yourself and Conquistador II?" Christian: "Oh, that is a tough guy. A tough contender certainly, former tag team champion, but I think I would come out ahead in that one. Conquistador 1 now, I would kill him."

    "I forgot about the midgets!" - Christian, showing Trish pictures of Jericho and his night out.

    "The fury of the Brood will rage...forever"

  • Christian to Michael Cole "What are you talking about you frosty haired rekazoid"
  • The King "HAHAHA!!"
  • Cole "You love that, don't ya King?"
  • The King "Well, you do kinda reek!"

    "Kevin, I said last week on 'Raw' that Edge and Christian wouldn't settle for anything less than the World Wrestling Federation tag team titles. We beat the Hardy Boyz. We beat the Dudley Boyz, We accomplished a life-long goal, and that was to win these titles... but not without immense pain, and believe me, when I say, I'll go throught it all tommrow, to keep these things." post WrestleMania

    Christian dialing the phone: ‘We rule, we rule, we rule. Sweet, sweet! Yeah call to Edge please (pause). Of course he’ll accept the charges you hose-beast get off the phone!’

  • Christian: "I feel like an idiot."
  • DDP: "You don't look like one!"

  • DDP: "And no, Christian, you don't wanna quit."
  • Christian: "I don't?"
  • Arn: "He doesn't?"
  • DDP: "No, he doesn't. You see, Christian. The reason why you have been losing is because you're harbouring all this negative energy."
  • Christian: "That's a bunch of crap! I'm not negative."
  • DDP: "*hehe* Bro, you're one of the most negative guys I've ever seen. And the only way you're gonna get where you wanna go is to harness that negative energy into something positive and that's the only was that you're gonna start winning."

  • "First of all, I won that match on my own, let's not kid ourselves. And as for why, once I used DDP to get back to my winning ways, I didn't need him anymore and it's as simple as that. Just like after I became a HUGE international star, I didn't need this second-rate city anymore, and I moved to Flordia! Ya know, the fact is, I'm so over those temper tantruems and I'm in touch with my emotions now, and I'm ready to re-take my title as the champion of Europe, cuz I'm the winner and for DDP, that's not a good thing, it's a bad thing!" Christian with a scary DDP-esq smile to the camera

  • "Christian, I gotta tell you something, I'm proud of ya bro! Not only did you lose tonight, but you didn't even lose you temper! And that's pretty impressive! You controlled your anger! Even though you lost in front of 60,000 fans here watching in the Sky Dome, and the millions watching at home!!! And Christian, that's not a BAD thing, it's a GOOD thing!" DDP as Christian throws a tentrum at WrestleMania

  • Christian: "I am a great--(phone rings)...Yeah hello. Well what are you waiting for? Pull the plug? Yeah sooner she goes the sooner I cash in! Chink, chink! (Hangs up) Idiot."
  • DDP: "Cash in?"
  • Christian: "Yeah Grandma Edna, she's about to bite it. Don't worry about it though she's got a sweet will. Anyway, where were we? Oh yeah, I am a great person!"

    "Ya know, everybody makes such a big deal, here in Dallas, about the JFK assassination: Was it a loan gun-men? Or was it some sord of conspiracy? - It so doesn't make a difference! If JFK would have spent five more minuets in Dallas, he would have committed suicide anyway!"

    "Yeah, several times. Well, let me tell you something, we're more focused than we've ever been and our preparation for this match is second to none. And believe me we ARE going into Wrestlemania 2000, we WILL beat the Hardy Boys, we WILL beat the Dudley Boys and we're gonna walk out with the World Wrestling Federation tag team championships. Why? Because we won't settle for any less."

  • Christian: "We're looking FORWARD to it. And you know something - it turns our stomachs to see people like Booker T and Goldust, with their...their jive talking and their freakish behaviour become heroes to millions of American youth. You know, with heroes like that, it's no wonder this country has become the United States of Embarrassment!"

  • Lance: "We perform in cities all over this country, and this Long Island crowd, typifies American. They're lazy, they're unappreciative, unresponsive and spoiled."
  • Christian: "And the sickening part about it is that they'll all be sitting on their hands while athletes like myself and Lance will be performing at a world class level. 'Cause just like greedy Americans, they're always wanting more. Well if they want more, we'll give them more more of the Un-Americans as WWE Tag Team Champions."

  • Lance Storm: "Hey, at least I wasn't screaming like a girl when I got chokeslammed!"
  • Christian: "Hey, that guy's a superhero!!"

    "Yeah Matt and Jeff are great...just ask them they'll tell you."

    "Boys with a 'z', is that supposed to scare us?"

    "We have a pretty good track record too. We beat you guys in the cage match. We beat you guys for #1 contendership. But lately all I've been hearing is Matt and Jeff...oh the Hardy Boyz. You know the last time I check Edge and Christian were in this match too. Not just the Hardy Boyz."

    "I guess I should take the `S' out of Christian and call myself 'Chriztian.' "

    "We've brought a little high octane coolosity with us."

    "We beat them plenty of times and you don't see us rubbing it in their faces." Still refeering to the Hardyz

    "What's that skank doing here?" Talking about Tori

  • King: You guys have anymore of that cool insider lingo like run in that kind of stuff?
  • Christian: It's funny you should mention that cause today we're going to shoot with you.
  • King: Oh they're going to shoot with us JR!
  • Christian: And just relax it doesn't mean we're going to use a gun or ammo. In wrestling terms we're going to shoot from the hip or tell it like it is. Bet you didn't know that one huh JR?
  • JR: Yeah never heard that. Duh.

  • Christian: "They screwed another Canadian! I can't believe it!"
  • Lance Storm "You know what? I can. All the officials in World Wrestling Entertainment - they're prejudiced!"
  • Test: "Whoa, whoa, it's not just the officials - it's all - it's all these friggin' Americans! America likes to stick her ass in the face of the rest of the world, just like Rikishi - just like Rikishi did to me! You know what...just like the rest of the world, I don't like the smell that's on my face, guys. But Lance, you were right aboot something. America....America SUCKS!"
  • Christian: "Damn right it does!"

    "What kind of Doctor do you think perscribes glasses with no lenses such as those that the Dudleys wear? Is that what they do in Dudleyville? IS THAT WHAT THEY DO IN DUDLEYVILLE!?"

    "Rikishi is so gonna pay for inventing that stinky, disgusting, vile move."

    "You know we just want to let our fans know that there is absolutely nothing to be alarmed about because our faces are now 100% ass free!"

    "Why would you dye your hair like a 14 year old girl? What do you mean why? We're the fightenness champions of all time. That's why we do it." To Michael Cole after being asked why they're putting the belts up in a match against two teams

    "Greetings inhabitants of Indianapolis. You know Indiana is so known for two things. It's rich storied basketball history and choking. Whether it be Bob Knight choking his players or as the past as proven the Indiana Pacers choking in the playoffs."

    "Speaking of sore losers how fitting is it that we are in the capitol city of sore losers, Buffalo New York? I'm talking Super Bowls, Stanley Cups Finals, O.J. It so doesn't get any more depressing than right here!"

    "Now before we so beat up the Dudley Boyz I just want to say greetings to all our fans in the Windy City. I guess they call it the Windy City because let's face it this town blows! And like so many other cities in this nation, Chicago you have a serious case of the uglies."

    "Greetings to all our fans here in Memphis. Now as we all know there are two types of Elvis. There was fat Elvis and really fat Elvis. But you know the sad thing is none of us will ever get the chance to find out how fat Elvis would have really been cause he ended up just like this town...dead!"

    Edge quotes!

    "Super heros? Well if memory serves me right you two were bouncing around in a pair of plaid tights before you wrestled us. Why don't you sit here and talk about yourselves all day cause I'm sick of all this bullshit" talking to the Hardyz

    "I'm the reason you're bald!" - Edge to Angle

    "Go back to the indy's, asshole!" -- Edge to Matt Hardy on Raw; July 19, 2005

    Edge: "Albert, A-Train, Big Hairy Ape...whatever he is calling himself now."

    "We have rainbow brite in the ring right now with the multi-colored hair." refering to Jeff

    "Rainbow's upset." Again talking about Jeff after he got hit by Dean Malenko

  • WWE.com: Being a native Canadian, the Fourth of July is just another day to you, but this past Monday was Canada Day, so it is kind of patriotic for you anyway?

  • Edge: Yeah, I almost felt like a sellout holding the American flag in the ring. (laughs) Also, Monday was the nine-year anniversary of my first match too. My first match was July 1, 1993, so nine years later, here we are.

  • Cena: "I could see it out there, man. I could FEEL it. And then Benoit comes in and puts on the Crippler crossface and he just...SNAPS IT IN, WON'T LET GO LIKE SOME CANADIAN HYPERVICE HE JUST--"
  • Edge: "Whoa whoa whoa - whoa! Dude, chill out! If you want that feeling back, that rush back, like when you had Angle beat tonight, well we go out there and we beat them in the six-man tag team match. You know, they say that the three of us are the future of SmackDown!, well I say screw the future...let's make the future right now. You know, I got a bone to pick with - with Benoit and Guerrero after that tag match last week, and when it comes to Kurt Angle, you know he and I--"
  • Rey Mysterio: "Yo, guys...don't sweat Kurt. I got Kurt Angle tonight."

  • Edge with Mark Loyd: “You know when I woke up this morning Mark, my only focus, my only goal, was to become the Number One Contender. But after what Albert did to Rey tonight, I have to admit, my focus kind of shifted a bit.”

  • JR: King quit kissing up. They know what you're doing.
  • King: What do you mean?
  • Edge: Yeah believe me King we don't like you either.

  • King: I'm just saying who I'm picking for the match.
  • Edge: Who are you picking?
  • King: I'm picking you guys.
  • Edge: Is that because we're sitting here?
  • King: Well that might have a little bit to do with it.

  • Edge, to JR... Raw, Feb 19. 2001: "I think you're a little bit jealous of Christian and myself. Is it because of the hair? Is it because of the teeth? Or is it because in Oklahoma, you just don't see teeth?"

    "We want those tag team belts cause we haven't had them and damnit we deserve them."

    "No controversy there JR. We won it fair and square."

    "A lock of my hair went on Ebay for $50. Shipping and handling not included."

  • Edge on the open challenge for the belts: Anyone in the back.
  • King: Wow.
  • Edge: Hey King, if you want to hop in there we can do it.
  • King: Yeah but then I would have to have JR for a tag partner, we wouldn't have a chance.
  • Edge: Weakling.
  • King: JR don't know how to shoot.

    Edge: "Hold on a second Hugh Morrus. You know what? I think I have a better handle for you like Hugh Suck!"

  • Triple H "Chris Jericho needs to understand something - something that I don't think he's gotten yet. This Sunday, Hell in the Cell, there's not gonna be any Kurt Angle, there's not gonna be six other guys, there's gonna be nobody to help. When that cage lowers around us, Chris Jericho is gonna be alone - alone with all of his fears, all his insecurities...and alone with me. Now, if Jericho is wondering what I will do inside Hell in the Cell...he should call Mick Foley - call Mick Foley while he's traveling around on one of his many book tours - you know why Foley's writin' books? Because I put him out of this business - I ended Mick Foley's career inside Hell in the Cell - that's what I do inside that cell. This Sunday will be no different."
  • Edge walks up behind him "You know, just becuase we were interrupted before doesn't mean that you and I still don't have a problem."
  • HHH "You know - while I admire your...guts and bravado...to come out here and get in my face - why don't you go back and win a couple o' world titles before you decide to jump on The Game. All right, pal?"
  • Edge "Well, I guess I could take the Triple H way to the top - marry the boss' daughter and sleep my way to the world championship, couldn't I?"

    "I know you're all disappionted that we didn't do that mysterious running through the crowd thing but it's become a bit much. So for the next five seconds we generously pose for the benefit of those with flash photography."

    "I can't believe we lost the cover of Tiger Beat because of this!! Edge after getting a stink face

    "Some people call it cockiness, some people call it confidence I think it's the latter."

    "We don't do anything illegal we do 'run-ins' "

    "To be perfectly honest we can't stand either team." about the Dudley Boyz and Too Cool

    "Now even though you are sore losers tonight we will unviel a very special new pose. So for the benefit of those with flash photography we call this, "If you had to hit that field goal you wouldn't be national jokes may have won a superbowl instead of losing four in a row but you didn't so too bad" for five seconds only!"

    "I mean think of all the ugly things this city is known for. Roger Ebert, Oprah, the Cubs record. Which is why for the benefit of those with flash photography we graciously offer an extra two seconds to our usual five for a grand total of, you got it Shy Town seven seconds of Edge and Christian!"

    "But the good news is for the benefit of flash photography we offer a brand new pose for five seconds only and we call this one, 'A hunka hunka of Edge and Christian.' "

  • "Edge, you gotta promise me something." Val Venis
  • "What's that?" Edge
  • "Promise me your gonna take that stupid, ridiculous wig off of Angle." Val Venis
  • "You mean Cueball? No problem. I think everyone here in Calgary...deserves to see Kurt Angle the way he came into this world - bald and ugly. But Kurt is trapped inside that cage with me. Nowhere to go, all by himself...no escape...no hiding." Edge

    "That's the last time I suck that paincycle!"

    "Well, I've never technically been *in* Christian" -

    "Now I don't know if my brother mentioned this but this is totally unfair! So for the benefit of those with flash photography we say put it away. Because out of protest of this match there will be no five second pose. And this is totally unfair!"

    "So for the benefit of those with flash photography we call this new five second pose, "Kane we're really sorry we bashed you in the head with chairs on Smackdown and Undertaker you're a pretty cool guy too" and we want this pose to symbolize the ending of this match."

  • "Well Kurt, I'm gonna say something that you don't hear very much, but it's a date." Edge

  • RAW.com: You've been wrestling with Christian since you two were in the sixth grade. how is it to be apart now? Did you know this day would come?
  • Edge: "We knew one day it would happen...We had already experienced so much together that business would never come between us. I think Christian's still a very underrated talent, and I think one day he'll show everybody what he shows me every night."

  • "These people shouldn't chant 'What?' after everything you say. I mean, Stone Cold came up with that and he's on Raw now and besides, you are an Olympic gold medallist. You're a very special man, Kurt Angle. That's why these people should chant something else after you say something. Something...something very special ...something...something very you. I think after everytime that Kurt Angle speaks everyone should show their appreciation by chanting 'You suck'." Edge

  • "I find it strange that someone with the word 'Book' in his name has apparently never read one." Edge to Booker T

  • Kurt: "Yeah, Crisp & Clean with no caffiene."
  • Edge: "What the hell was that? Do you not realise what all these Edgeheads know? You're not the red, white and blue machine. You're just really, really white. Quit trying to be cool, it's just not your thing."

  • "In the meantime, I'd like to queue up Kurt Angle's music so we can all practice our "You sucks"." Edge

  • Edge: So I really don't feel the need for any extreme actions or maneuvers like the "3D" like it says on your shirt there. What do you think?
  • D-Von: You know something Edge you got a point there. I mean uh maybe there isn't any room for any violence tonight. You know and uh you know something as I was thinking maybe you shouldn't get with the 3D tonight.
  • Edge: Thou shall totally not mess with the Dudleys!
  • D-Von: Right.
  • Edge: Testify! Sweet Lady Mcgee!

    "You know, I feel sorry for you Minnesotans...who have nothing to cheer for but freaks! I mean, when your greatest living sports hero is a fat, overrated weeble like Kirby Puckett...and your intercontinental champion has been burned more times than Kevin Garnett in the playoffs...well that can be pretty depressing."

    "Which is why you people are in for a very special treat - a new intercontinental champion that totally reeks of something nonexistant in Minneapolis - and that is awesomeness!"

    "This totally reeks of uncoolness!"

    "Now we usually don't do this but tonight we are going to forfit our five seconds. We are going to forfit it to someone who reeks of awesomeness as much as us. So for the benefit of those with flash photography we call this new five second pose, "The next WWF champion."

  • Vince: "Who the hell do you think you are? You're not even supposed to be here? I heard you had a back injury! I want an explanation! No wait! I don't want an explanation. GET OUT."
  • Edge: "You want me to get out? I'm real close to you Vince now and I see fear in your eyes! IS it fear about what I'm gonna do to your little lap-dog on Sunday? Or is it fear of me? You should be afraid of me. But I'll leave, for now...."

    "You know the ironic thing is, is Christian is really sick. Sick and tired of being in Dallas, Texas! And what is up with Dallas's sports franchises? I mean the Dallas Stars proved that they are not repeat champions and the Dallas Cowboys proved that they are repeat offenders."

    "Moving right along we've all heard the old saying, "Everything's bigger in Texas." Well with that being said fest your eyes on the severe massivity of our tag team partner. He's 7'4", he's 500 pounds he is the totally Big Show!"

    "Oh come on it was totally chairalicious. Jeffery Hardy always had a multi-colored head now it's just a little bit flatter."

    "Masters of the conchairtio!"

    "I don't understand it we beat these two teams (Hardyz and Dudleys) numerous times besides a minor bump in the road we're the most successful tag team in the World Wrestling Federation. It came down to a midget to pop a stick in Christian's gentials but it was a minor bump in the road."

    "I think the Dudleys are mad at us, well, because we're beatiful!"

    "Lita will do a Hardy for anything."

    "Rikishi, you will rue the day that you ever decided to wear a thong to the ring and disgrace the faces that these people love"

    "Now we relize that Long Island - not exactly the best people in the nation! So, so, to appease your appetites for beatiful faces, instead of the customary five seconds, we will now post for... SIX seconds!, for the benefit of those of you with flash photography.... Now, if our friends here can stay sober long enough to fufill their obligations, I say... let the open challange commense."

    "Kurt, Kurt, Kurt, how do I tell you? Your Olympic gold medal win was inspiring, it was uplifting, but more importantly it was *six* years ago."

    "Our nuts are good. Want to try some Lily?"

    "You know, Triple H, that was a very stirring speech. But you failed to mention one very important point...that you came down there and you hit all of us with a sledgehammer. Now being one of those guys that you hit with a sledgehammer, lemme just say that I didn't exactly enjoy it. You know, you're supposed to be a 'good guy,' and I'm supposed to be a 'good guy.' Good guys usually don't have problems with each other - but to be blunt about it...I don't give a crap. Now, on Sunday, you may take Jericho down to hell. And I will definitely shave Kurt Angle bald...but uh, I've been having this feeling in my stomach - it's kinda been boiling, it's been bubbling in the pit of my stomach. I've been feeling pretty competitive since last week - I've been feeling like I wanta PLAY THE GAME."

    "You know, I've been in this business for about nine years now...and in those nine years, when it comes to injuries, I've been pretty lucky...up until now. You see, last week in a cage match with Kurt Angle, I did a spear off the top rope, and....I tore up my shoulder pretty bad - bad enough that the doctors say I'm gonna need surgery, and...I'm not gonna be around for a little while. You know, I've been replaying this match in my head over and over since last week, and I've been thinking about it, and I've probably been thinking about it way too much. But I'm pissed off! I'm mad at myself, I'm mad at my body for giving out on me. I'm mad because now this company has finally put the ball in my hands, and now I can't hold onto it. But if you ask me if I'd take that risk again - would I do that spear off the top rope again? - I'd tell you you're damn right I would. Because that risk helped me beat Kurt Angle's ass 1, 2, 3, right in the middle of the ring. And I'd take that risk again because I love this business. I love everything about this business, and you know what, that's what kills me the most. It kills me to come out here and tell you that I can't do this for a while. It kills me to come out here and say that I can't defend my King of the Ring throne this year. But what kills me most of all is to come out here and forfeit my first round match tonight against Chris Jericho. I don't blame ya, I feel the same way you do, but if you're asking yourself 'Is Edge gonna come back?' ... I'd tell you 'you're damn right I will!' And when I come back, I have one goal in mind - and that goal is to win the Undisputed WWE Championship."

    E-n-C quotes!

  • Christian: "Yeah, why don't you go ahead & grab your nuts there Edge"
  • Both- "Hahaha!"
  • Edge, grabs a bowl of nuts: "You know Lilian, if you wanna sample our nuts later on we'll be cheering The Conquistadors onto victory over The Hardy Boyz"
  • Christian: "Dude, you've got big nuts! Hard nuts rule all!"

  • Edge: You know something last night we became the tag team champions in quite possibly the most fantastic match of all time. And you know what we were great.
  • Christian: Excuse me for one second Edge we were really great.
  • Edge: Ok, Ok. But we're smart enough to admit that as great as we were last night...
  • Christian: One more thing...we were REALLY great.
  • Edge: Touche, touche. You need great opponents.
  • Christian: You know something Edge that's really big of you to admit. That's really good of you to realize.
  • Edge: Why thank you Christian, thank you. I appreciate that. So at this time I would like to bring out one of those great tag teams out here. So Matthew, Jeffery the Hardy Boyz come on out here!
  • Christian: Come on guys don't be shy. Matthew, Jeffery! You know something that's really great to hear. You guys really need to hear that right now. Let's give these guys another big round of applause, they need to hear that.
  • Edge: Don't hang those heads guys. Pick those chins up young bucks, you did a great job last night.
  • Christian: Hey no reason to get hot guys. There's no shame in being (does the Hardy Boyz sign) second best. Or even (does the Dudley Boyz sign) third best for that matter!

  • Christian: Mini-me we so loved you in Austin Powers. I mean you didn't have many lines but god what a presence. You were great.
  • Edge: You complete me Mini-me.
  • Joe C: You guys are dumb assess. I'm Joe C.
  • Edge: Oh don't be bashful.

  • Chrisitan: To be politically correct with our pose we need to know...are you like a midget or something?
  • Edge: No he's a dwarf.
  • Chrisitan: No he's a knome.
  • Edge: You're an Ewok.
  • Joe C: You know I'm very honored but you guys have your match then you guys can go fuck yourselves.

  • Christian: Now we realize British Colombia...so not the brightest province in the country. Which is why we're going to spell this out for you really clear.
  • Edge: Joe C is an overrated midget rapper. So for those with the benefit of flash photography we have a brand new pose for five seconds only that will honor overrated migget rappers worldwide. We call this, "Kicking it Joe C style."

  • Edge: Jeffery Hardy is not looking good tonight. Want me to come down for your King of the Ring match?
  • Christian: No, come on this one is so in the bag. I'm totally quailfied. I mean for you to come down there tonight would be unfair, would be unnecessary, and totally unethical.
  • Edge: So you want me to come down there?
  • Christian: Yeah I want you to come down, let's go.
  • Edge: Cool.

  • Edge: I just got off the phone with Mom. She's so happy about me advancing to the King of the Ring.
  • Christian: She didn't call me after my match.
  • Edge: Yeah I know she told me.

  • Edge: So are you going to the ring with me?
  • Christian: You know I'd like to but see this is the thing. I know this guy who's the friend of a friend of the guy that knows the cousin of the editor of Tiger Beat and I have a meeting with him tonight.
  • Edge: So you're going to miss my match to see some guy who's the editor of Tiger Beat?
  • Christian: Yeah pretty much.
  • Edge: Do what you got to do man, good luck.
  • Christian: Yeah good luck to you to man. That cover is so ours.
  • Edge: Sweet.

  • William Regal "Hullo to all my friends in New York City! Now, there is a lot of things that are lacking in this country - civility, politeness, the washing of one's hands when one uses the lavatory.....how nice. But the thing that is lacking the most is royalty - that is why it is my honour to award the 2001 King of the Ring winner - ladies and gentlemen, may I introduce to you KING EDGE! Congratulations, Edge. Now, while your victory will be forever tainted because of the inconscionable interference of that miserable Shane McMahon, you are still the 2001 King of the Ring winner, and I congratulate you. So, as you chaps say, it is time to 'wreck of awesomeness,' and let's give a very special five second pose to the common folk."
  • Christian "Thank you, Commissioner - and I just wanna start off by saying what an honour it is to be standing here with my brother Edge - the 2001 King of the Ring. But you know, my only regret is that chumpstain Shane McMahon also interfered in MY match and cost me the chance to face Edge in the finals, *despite* the fact that I overcame huge odds by beating both Kane and the Big Show, who combined, weigh more than a thousand pounds. Anyways, I just wanted to say I'm proud of you, and congratulatations are TOTALLY.
  • Edge "Thanks - thanks, Christian. Commissioner, Tajiri, good citizens of the Big Apple, I welcome you to a new era - an era of awesomeness! And you know..."
  • Billy Gunn interrupts "Well, well, well, King Edge, huh? Congratulations, your majesty - welcome to the King of the Ring winners' club. When I won the 1999 King of the Ring, I was really looking forward to defending my crown the next year, but unfortunately I had a shoulder injury. Then I wanted to defend it this year and wasn't even entered in the damn tournament! Then I had the indignity of sitting at WWF New York with a bunch of loud, obnoxious New York City morons. But no no, the topper, the worst of it all, not just sitting through the restaurant was to watch a talentless joke like you actually WIN the damn thing! But congratulations, Edge - I really....really mean it."
  • Edge "Wow, Billy - you sound like a human vaccuum cleaner - managing to both suck and blow at the same time! And Billy, since you're not really doing anything late, I was wondering if you could do me a favour - if in two years' time at the King of the Ring I'm not defending a title, or even in a match, and my very special assignment is to go to WWF New York and eat a meatball sandwich, then please - just shoot me in the head! 1999 is SO two years ago, and it's not my fault if you've done a big pile of nothing since then! That doesn't give you the right to come out and rain on MY parade - and Commissioner, I vow to you that I will not 'Billy Gunn' this King of the Ring title, because Billy...I plan on being entertaining."
  • Billy Gunn "Yeah, you wanta be real entertaining? How 'bout if I kick your royal ass right here tonight?"
  • Edge "Sounds good, Commissioner?"
  • Regal "I suppose it'd be all right, yes."
  • Edge "Great. Then I hereby decree that the first act in the Era of Awesomeness will be to totally annihilate Billy Bitchcakes."

  • Christian: The Rock gets his own locker room. The Facgime gets their own locker room.
  • Mick: Who?
  • Edge: That doesn't matter what does matter is that tonight the tage team champions had to dress with the rest of the "boys" like a bunch of cattle.
  • Mick: Listen guys I happen to be a three time WWF champion and a hardcore legend and I never had my own dressing room.
  • Edge: Mick you never change your clothes.
  • Christian: You just wrestle in what you're wearing.
  • Mick: That's a good point.
  • Christian: Look being the newly appointed commissioner this is so not cool.
  • Mick: Sew a needle pulling thread. I love that movie.
  • Christian: Look can you just get us our own locker room?
  • Mick: I'll tell you what, I'll put my mind to it but these thing must be handled very delicately. Wizard of Oz the castle scene.
  • Christian: What the hell is he takling about?
  • Mick: I'll get you my pretty and your little dog too!
  • Edge: Who hired this guy?
  • Christian: I don't know.

  • Edge: Finally someone is giving the tage team chapions the respect they deserve.
  • Christian: I don't know about you but I'm a little thirsty. Let me get old commissioner Mick to get us a couple of sodas.
  • Edge: Yeah I'm a little parshed and sodas rule!

  • Edge: A little thirsty here.
  • Christian: Yeah if you were any kind of commissioner you'd get us some sodas.
  • Mick: It would be a pleasure to quench your thirst. Hey good luck in that tag team match.
  • Edge: What?
  • Christian: What match?
  • Mick: Hey guys don't worry it's non title.
  • Edge: Well against who?
  • Mick: Just one night only.
  • Christian: Against?
  • Mick: Just a couple of guys having some personal problems. I figure I put them together to smooth things over. Kane and Undertaker.

  • Christian: Mick we've been thinking about this whole Undertaker-Kane thing and um no.
  • Edge: We're not going to do it.
  • Mick: I guess you guys didn't read the shirt.
  • Edge: Miss? Miss who?
  • Mick: Maybe this will clear it up for you, commissioner.
  • Edge: What does that mean?
  • Mick: It means if you don't do the match I'll strip you of the titles.

  • Edge: We realize that the Acolytes are the number one contenders and believe me we would really like to face them tonight but to be quite honest after Monday we're a little sore.
  • Mick: I know you guys got the crap beaten out of you. Listen I've been thinking about that and I feel a little bit guilty for making you team up against Kane and the Undertaker so I'm not going to make you put your belts on the line tonight.
  • Edge and Christian: Yes! Yes!
  • Mick: Maybe a little friendly singles competition instead.
  • Christian: All right.
  • Mick (pointing to Christian): How bout you against Kane.
  • Christian: What?
  • Mick (points to Edge): And you against the Undertaker.
  • Edge: What?
  • Mick: You guys are so going to get the crap beaten out of you!
  • Christian: That's my line.

  • Christian: This totally sucks!
  • Edge: I'll take "duh" for 200 please.
  • Christian: I got to think of something.

  • Christian: Chris Beniot you have no idea how so very proud we are of you.
  • Edge: On Monday you totally reeked of awesomeness. And more than being a former Intercontinental champion and more than being the greatest technical wrestler in the history of the World Wrestling Federation you my friend are a fellow Canadian.
  • Christian: And it fills our hearts with maple leaf pride to see a Canadian that kicks as much ass as you. And besides that the cross face rules! Whoa now Mick I'm sorry if we seem a little winded today but that's because we're tired from carrying our World Wrestling Federation tag team titles all day after successfully retaining them against the Undertaker and Kane Monday night. Nice try though.
  • Edge: And since we're the WWF tag team champions it's only fitting that this man be the WWF champion.

  • Edge: What else is new? This totally reeks of heinousness.
  • Christian: You know Kevin I'd like to defend the tag team titles tonight against the Acolytes but unfortunately I've come down with an acute case of the sniffles.
    Yeah I'm so sniffly right now and I don't want to deprive our fans of anything less than 100% so I think it's in our best interest if you face one of the Acolytes on your own tonight.
  • Edge: Me and one of the Acolytes in a singles match?
  • Christian: Yeah in a singles match. You know where the tag team titles wouldn't be on the line. Due to the fact that you're alone in singles competition with no tag team gold due to the singularity of the situation. Get it?
  • Edge: Singles match. Singles matches rule!
  • Christian: Yeah they do. I mean...yeah they do.

  • Christian: Now being the fightenness champions in World Wrestling Federation history we were so ready to defend our tag team titles tonight against the Acolytes.
  • Edge: Unfortunaly due to the disprofessionality of the Rock I have totally suffered a back injury. As a result of a devasting spine buster and a Rock bottom. I-I am in bad shape. I mean I'm in Golden State Warriors bad shape.
  • Christian: So they will be no tag team title match tonight. There will be no five second pose but I will defend our honor in a good clean 100% non-title singles match.

  • Edge: We'll try and talk them out of it. I mean they're stupid.
  • Christian: Yeah they are.
  • Edge: So I'll try and talk them out of the 3D and you try to talk them out of the tables.
  • Christian: All right.
  • Edge: I mean they have more in common with the Bushwackers than just their outfits.
  • Christian: Yeah and calm discussions rule!

  • Edge: Thank you for asking because we're feeling totally better Mick.
  • Christian: Not ready to defend our titles better but better none the less.

  • Edge: Since we beat the Acolytes on Monday and since we're totally gonna beat them on Sunday at Fully Loaded and since the arena is only five minutes away maybe we should invite the big fellas to partake in a frosty beverage in an act of good will.
  • Christian: Yeah and more than that we're way bigger drinkers than the Acolytes.
  • Edge: Yeah. Barkeep bring one of those drinks with the little umbrellas.
  • Christian: Yeah little umbrellas get the party started right!
  • Edge: Totally.

  • Christian: Speaking of partying I really thought the Acolytes were going to show up. What cowards!
  • Edge: Total act of cowardisty. They totally knew we were going to kick their booty.
  • Christian: Maybe we should give them the benefit of the doubt. Maybe they showed up, got stopped at the door and didn't even make it to the bar.
  • Edge: You know what we should ask somebody and see if they've seen them.
  • Christian: Yeah.
  • Edge: Hey fella have you seen any big beer swilling...
  • Christian: ...cigar chopping...
  • Edge: ...foul smelling...
  • Christian: ...really mean...guys?
  • Man: No but you guys rule.
  • Edge: Awesome! Hey barkeep, some budweisers for our new compadres over here.

    (Christian heard puking his guts out in the background)
    Edge:     Oh hold it in little buddy. (Mick and EMT come in) I told ya. Listen. Did you hear that? I'm so glad you're here. Come on little buddy you ok? See.

  • (Christian joins them) Christian: We have to defend our titles tonight. We're the fightenness champions of all time.

  • Christian: That was so easy.
  • Edge: He is so gullible. Food poisoning rules.
  • Christian: Yeah it does!
  • (Mick comes into the room)
    Mick:     Guys I'm really sorry about the food poisoning...wait a second wait a second I was going to tell you that you had to pass tonight but I was going to make you defend your titles on RAW.
  • Christian: Seriously I'm sick, oh god I think it's coming back.
  • Edge: I think you make him sick. Come on little buddy hold it in.
  • (Christian can be heard puking again.) Christian: Oh Mick don't come in here I'm totally barfing. Oh it's bad! It's really bad!
  • (Mick peeks over the stall and sees Christian pouring fake puke into the toilet.) Mick: You guys are like so totally busted man. I'll give him an "A" for effort I'll tell you that much.
  • Christian: No Mick seriously I don't know who put that bucket in there I was really sick before!
  • Mick: Guys I'm not a medical doctor although I have spent a lot of time in emergency rooms but in my humble medical opinion you guys are going to get your asses kicked tonight when you defend the tag team belts against the Acolytes.

  • Edge: Yeah very funny but look who still has the tag team championship.
  • Christian: Yeah DQs rule.
  • Mick: Indeed they do which brings me to another problem. I don't know weather to match you up with the Hardy Boyz...
  • Edge: What?
  • Mick: ...or the Dudleys.
  • Edge and Christian: What?
  • Mick: So what I've decided to do is have a 3 way tag team contest where the winner of the fall wins the belts. Which means you guys don't even have to lose or be pinned to lose your titles. my rulings rule!
  • Christian: Man that sucks!
  • Edge: What did we do to you?
  • Christian: Man he is being way heinous.

  • Christian: Greetings to all our fans in Hot-lanta. You know we could stand here and so make tasteless jokes about John Rocker but we're not going to do that.
    Because this is the home of the Atlanta Braves winners of countless national league pennants and quite possibly the best damn team in the past ten years. But despite all that the Braves are known for one thing above all else...
  • (Edge takes off his jacket and shows he's wearing a New York Yankees shirt)
    Edge:     ...Being the New York Yankees personal bitches. So for the benefit of those with flash photography... this is a rendition of the past four World Series around these parts. We call this, "The bitch Atlanta Braves"

  • Edge: Do actions speak louder than words? Well you just saw our actions now hear our words. We are out here for one reason only. Due to the unfair treatment that we have received from the hands of the Hardys and the Dudleys and especially Mick Foley. We are totally out here to stage a sit down strike. Why don't you see what we're talking about. Roll the footage of Smackdown. Here we are on our way to another totally successful title retaintion when lo and behold we are brutally attacked by the Hardys and Dudleys. And what does commissioner Mick Foley do about it? Just like the people of this city do with their lives absolutely nothing. He just sat back, ate some cotton candy and scratched himself while we were handed a bucket full of heinousness.
  • Christian: And this is why Edge and I took matters into our own hands and did what we did to poor Matthew Hardy. You see we're not moving from this spot until we're served with a big bowel of justice soup! And Mick Foley himself assures us that we have been receiving unfair treatment and it will end because if it doesn't end they will so be extreme ramaprecussions.

  • Christian: What? Did you hear that Edge? He thinks he knows you.
  • Edge: You think you know me J.R.? You will never know me.

  • Edge: You know those two (Dudley Boyz) are the masters of stinktitude.
  • King: What is that?
  • Edge: Well sinktitude is uh...oh my god! (Jeff Hardy did a summersault plancha on Bubba.)
  • King: Well what's stinktitude?
  • Edge: Well uh you know it's the opposite of...Christian help me out here.
  • Christian: Yeah King there's no time to explain there's a match going on. Look at that move!
  • Edge: Whoa! (Nothing happened)

  • Shane: Pin me! Pin me!
  • Christian: Double gold.
  • Edge: Double gold. (They play rock, paper, scissors)
  • Foley: No need to choose. Why don't you both cover Shane. You can be co-hardcore champions. I'm a WWF official I'll make the count.

  • Christian: Now normally we'd come out here and do our little shtick but after last night's tables, ladders, and chairs that's right the TLC match at Summerslam we just can't do that.
  • Edge: Matt, Jeff, D-von, Bubba we may not always see eye to eye but after last nights match we have more respect for you than you can possibly imagine. Now we realize that the Dudleys aren't here tonight but Matt and Jeff we know you are. So if you don't mind we'd like you two to come on out here so we can shake yourhand. Let's give it up for North Carolina's own the Hardy Boyz. (Hardyz music plays and two short people dressed like the Hardyz come out with step ladders)
  • Christain: You see the fact of the matter is the greatness of the match had nothing to do with the Hardy Boyz or the Dudley Boyz. We could have been in there with the I don't know the Bushwackers or even Techno Team 2000 and it would have been great simply because we were in it. And furthermore what's I'm trying to get across to all of you is this... (Dudley Boyz music plays and two more short people looking like the Dudleys come out with a play table)
  • Edge: 3D! You see we were totally going to use the time honored tradition of shaking our opponets hands after a tough, grueling match but instead we decided to use the time honored tradition of mocking our inferior opponets. Isn't that right Bubba Ray?
  • Fake Bubba: Whassup!
  • Christian: Calm down big fella.
  • Edge: And what about you D-Von?
  • Fake D-von: Testify!
  • Christian: Hey Hardy Boyz how bout you? (They back away making the gun sign to their mouths) I'm sorry I forgot the real Hardy Boyz don't get to talk so why should you?

  • Edge: "You know what, Kurt? How about some music to soothe your frazzled nerves. Hehe."
  • Christian: "Sweet. I call this 'Crash In D Minor'. Hmm, 2,3,4."
  • Edge sings as Christian starts playing a kazoo: "It is Crash, it is Crash Holly
    He is dumb, but otherwise jolly
    Get a scale, but now he doesn't
    Hardcore Holly is his cousin......
    Sometimes they call him Elroy Jetson!"

  • Mick Foley sticks his finger into a cactus: "One, two. Two pricks. Edgester, Christian. Hey, I was just talking about you guys!"
  • Edge: "Yeah, well we wanted to talk to you before it's too late."
  • Mick: "Talk to me about what?"
  • Christian: "Mick, as you know we're friends with Kurt Angle."
  • Edge: "More like acquaintances...casual acquaintances"
  • Christian: "Oh, totally cas."

  • Christian: What we're going to do now is give all you people what you really came to see. I'm going to have to go ahead and ask for 37 seconds up on the Titantron.
  • Edge: So for the benefit of flash photography we present to you our 37 second Tables, Ladders, and Chairs victory pose. Hit the music.

  • Edge: Mick's a best selling author he's not going to fall for that.
  • Christian: Yeah.
  • Edge: What about tourettesyndrome it's a live show we can't be trusted.
  • Christian: Gential warts.
  • Edge: That's disgusting.
  • Christian: Yeah but think about. Rock and Undertaker wouldn't want to touch us and no one's going to want to look down our pants. We're made, we've got it made.
  • Edge: You might just have something there. Gential warts rule!
  • (They give each other a high five) Christian: Yeah they do.

  • Christian: That was quite a spill. I better check if these guys are all right.
  • Edge: Time for an ECRI.
  • King: It's an Edge Christian Run-In!

  • Edge "Hey, big night, huh? Looks like the Rock accepted the challenge? I tell you what - we've been through a lot of strange things recently, but I have to admit - it would still be totally awesome if you walked away with the gold tonight in our home town, T.O.!"
  • Christian "Yeah, dude - it would be awesome, and you know what? I know you want to come out there for support, I know you do, but this is something I gotta do on my own, man, I gotta win this thing by myself, you know? And...another thing, I've been thinking. This thing belongs to you, this trophy belongs to you, it says it right here - Edge - you're the King of the Ring, not me. I don't know what I was thinking, man, I'm soorry. But you know what? After I go out there and totally annihilate the Rock, and become the WCW Champion, just because my title might be a little more prestigious than yours...we'll always be brothers, man. I'll see you later, it's goldage time!"
  • Edge "All righty then...good luck..."

  • Edge after Christian lost his match "Hey, how ya doin'? You gave it your best shot. Maybe after tonight, we can go out and--"
  • Storm "Well well. Nice job, loser. You're almost as big of a loser as this city. At least you're keeping the streak alive - Toronto lost its bid for the Olympics, you lost your match, Edge here, you're making it three for three when you lose the IC title to me later tonight. I guess you guys are living proof, nothing good ever came out of Toronto. This whole place is pathetic."
  • Edge "You wanna know what's pathetic, Lance? Getting beat up by a midget is pathetic. Having the personality of a dried prune is pathetic. Being a thirty year old man who's never kissed a girl, now that's pathetic. But tonight, Lance, you're not going to have to worry about any offbeat shenanigans, because I am going to straight up kick your ass."

  • Edge: "Greetings to all of our fans here in New York City. And congregations on being a part of history, on, on being part of the greatest Sunday Night Heat ever! And that's because Vince McMahon himself asked us to co-host the show."
  • Christian: "And that's right, and we'd like to give a shout out to our boy Tazz - thug in the house, yea!"
  • Tazz: "Glad to see you!"
  • Christian: "Sorry Michael Cole, we think you're a dork."

  • Edge: "On the greatest Sunday Night Heat ever, you people are going to see our buddy, the WWF champion, Kurt Angle take on, in a non-title affair, esssssssa rrrrrrrrrrrrrios."
  • Christian: "Also in action tonight will the Undertaker and Kane. And if they happen to be victorious tonight, I hope they like the taste of victory, because tomorrow night, they're gonna get totally curbstopped, by us on Monday Night Raw!"

  • Edge: "What do we do now?"
  • Christian: "I dunno, let's go throw some firecrackers at the homeless!"
  • Edge: "That's a good one, but we always do that. I have idea, MTV is a block over. Ha ha And you know all those requests we sent in to host TRL that went unanswered?"
  • Christian: "Yea."
  • Edge: "Are you thinking what I'm thinking?"
  • Christian: "You know I am!"
  • Edge: "Let's go kick Carson's Daly's ass!"

  • Edge: "Carson, ready for your beating? Come on little buddy! Come on porkchop!"
  • Christian: "Hey, Edge, look what I found - I was totally tooting through reakaziod dork Caron's wardrobe, and I found this - the guy made a doll of himself, what a freak! '(imitating Carson, badly) Yea, I'm Carson Daly, and I make Steve Blackman look like Robin Williams and I totally suck compared to the real hosts of TRL, Edge and Christian.' "

  • Edge: "Whoa whoa whoa. Hold the phone there a second, pal. The most dominating force in the WWF? That's a lotta big talk for a coupla guys who have had the tag team titles a total of FIVE whole days. Math time, fellas. YOU have been the tag team champions ONCE. WE have been the tag team champions SEVEN times. Oh yeah. So technically, that makes us seven times better than you!
  • Christian: "You know, I think the thin air in this town is starting to affect your brain, just like it does the rest of the reek-a-zoids in Denver. You wanna come out here and show footage? How about showing the only reason you beat us in the first place - by threatening, and setting fire to Commissioner Regal's office! I mean...we didn't have time to prepare, we didn't have time to study tapes, or anything like that! You wanna talk funny? You two claiming to be the most dominant anything - that's funny! Now I know you don't have it in ya to put those WWF tag team titles on the line tonight, but if it's a fight you want...we'll fight you right now."
  • Undertaker: "Well I tell you what - the only thing stopping ya is the space between us, and the fear of gettin' yo ass kicked."

  • Edge: "You know what, I hope we can help Kurt get his medals back from Benoit."
  • Christian: "Yeah, you think they mean that much to him?"
  • Edge: "Well, there's that and then we don't have to hear him talk about it anymore."
  • Christian: "Yeah."

  • Jericho: "Ah, Stephanie, my very favorite person. Here we are, in Washington, DC, and you, without your cigar, how terrible. Speaking of terrible, it was terrible how the Rock both physically and verbally abused you and your brother Shane last Monday night on Raw. No one likes seeing you get put in your place more than Y2J."
  • Stephanie: "Yeah, well the Rock's gonna get put in his place, 'cause the Rock chose the wrong team. The Rock should be with the Alliance!"
  • Jericho: "What, what is that? What is that on your chin?"
  • Stephanie: "What? What are you talking about? (puts hand on chin)"
  • Jericho: "No amount of make-up can cover up that monstrosity! That's a humongous zit!" (Edge and Christian appear and come down the hall)
  • Jericho: "Edge, Christian, come here. You two enjoy a huge zit as much as the next guy. Look at the size of that one!"
  • Edge: "Total zittastrafy!"
  • Christian: "Huge squishy"
  • Jericho: "Not only are you a zit faced loser, there's an arena full of Jerichoholics that think...."
  • Edge: (interrupts Jericho), "There's an arena, full of EDGEHEADS, that think that you are nothing more than a..."
  • Christian: (interrupts Edge), "There's an arena fun, of people, that are, like, totally cheering for Christian, that think that you are a filthy..."
  • Edge: "Dirty!"
  • Christian: "Disgusting!"
  • Edge: "Brutal!"
  • Christian: "Bottom-feeding!"
  • Edge: "Trash bag!"
  • Jericho:"Trampasourous Rex!"
  • Stephanie: "I don't think you three understand. I own ECW, and the WCW/ECW Alliance is full of very powerful superstars who are going to make you pay, for what you just said to me, TONIGHT!"
  • Jericho: "Don't worry, Steph, oxicute 'em!"
    -Edge makes the oxicute noise with his tounge-

    Kurt Angle!

    "You can hug Carlito, he's gay." - Angle to Edge after he asked for a group hug on WWE Unlimited.

  • "Edge, and Christian, it's true, it's true! I do respect the both of you. And I used to think that the only good thing that came out of Canada was Maple Syrup, and Michael J. Foxx. But I was wrong! And I'm not wrong very often. You need to relize that these two are role models for all of us! What is wrong with you people? They are the tag team champions of the world! And what better men to team up with me to avenge my loss from Y2J from Monday Night. And when I do, we will make this twisted world right again... and that my friends is true!" Kurt Angle

    "I am the first co Intercontinental and European champion, except for D'lo Brown,but he doesn't count." - Kurt Angle

  • Christian: "So are you in?"
  • Angle: "Six man elimination table match with Booker T and The Dudleyz? You bet your sweet asses I'm in!"
  • Edge: "Did he just say sweet asses?"

  • Undertaker "You're writin' checks that you can't cash, boy."
  • Kurt "I can cash stuff!"

  • Undertaker "Oh, I'm gonna shake his hand. He's threatened to break my ankle, and you want me to shake his hand!"
  • Kurt "Yeah, you want me to shake HIS hand - he left me high and dry last week, let alone he has a bad attitude!"
  • Undertaker "Well you got a bad wig, and let me tell you what - you wear it out there, I'm gonna take it off and shove it down your throat!"
  • Kurt "You take that back! You take it back!"
  • Undertaker "What you gonna do, cueball?"

  • "Ever since I teamed up with Edge and Christian, your Olympic hero has been noticing that he has been getting alot of extra attention from teenage girls! Oh yeah! Oh yeah! In fact - word on the street is that your Olympic hero is considered to be 'all that!' It's true! It's true! Teenage girls, I have a word of warning for you - in the form of a nursery rhyme - it goes something like this: 'Don't be like the people here, shacking up with other guys! Be clean! Be pure! Be absinence - and follow my three I's!' Thank you! And now, let me introduce you to my tag team partners, who also happen to be 'all that!' And I would like you to show them to same respect and admiration you have given me! Without further-a-dew, Edge and Christian!"

  • "Not to mention our former tag team champions lost their titles after my good friend Christian was hit in the genitals with a hockey stick by a midget! I mean enough is enough!"

  • "Hey, I drank milk that was a DAY past the expiration date. Now THAT is Extreme!" Kurt Angle to the Hardyz

  • "This stuff [Beer] is tasty, when did they start making it?" Kurt Angle to The APA

    Angle, speaking backstage to Edge: "You know, you, me and Christian always used to hang out, but the truth is, I never really liked him, never trusted him. He had these beady little eyes. He kind of reminded me of the world's ugliest pretty boy!"

    Kurt Angle, to Rey Mysterio: “Just because a 12 year old kid stopped mowing lawns, put on a kooky mask and pinned me doesn’t mean it counted! Sorry kid, you know the rules. You must be THIS HIGH to talk to Kurt Angle. Make sure you let Dorothy, the tin man and all the Munchkins know your butt is mine at Summerslam!”

  • Chris Benoit: “I beat you two straight times."
  • Kurt Angle: “Yeah well, I’ve got more teeth than you!"
  • Chris Benoit: “I’ve got more hair than you!

    "There once was a kid who liked to talk a lot of smack
    He’s whiter than me, but he thinks that he’s black." Kurt, rapping to Cena

  • "What the heck are you talking about?"
  • "Edge saying that he's going to remove your wig and expose your bald head."
  • "Well that's funny, 'cause when I look in the mirror, I don't see a bald head - I see a head full of natural, beautiful hair."
  • "Well, we have footage from Judgment Day where Edge shaved your head bald. Here, take a look." (Let Us Take You Back To Judgment Day - but just before Edge puts razor to scalp)
  • "You cut that off right now, don't you EVER show that freakin' footage again! So what. I was bald for 24 measly hours. But as you can see, my hair has grown back. And no, I didn't forget what Edge TRIED to do to me. He tried to embarrass me. He tried to humiliate me. He tried to *disgrace* Your Olympic Hero! And you know something? Tonight in the steel cage, Edge says that *I* have nowhere to run? Well, neither does he. And tonight, I'm not just gonna beat Edge - I'm gonna do something to him that he couldn't do to me - I AM going to embarrass him. I AM going to humiliate him. And I AM going to disgrace him in front of his lousy home country. Oh, it's true - it's damn true."

  • "You know, when I was in the Olympics, which I won - for all of you, by the way, I thought I had seen every single wrestling hold, every single wrestling move that you could possibly see. But you know something? I was wrong. I discovered a wrestling move - well, not so much a wrestling move here in the WWF - that would make the stinkface almost as technical as the German suplex. It is the single most insulting move to all the wrestlers across the country. And that move is...the Worm. People - people! The Worm is not a sanctioned wrestling move - it's true...it's true. If your Olympic Hero were to use the Worm in the 1996 Olympic games, it would be so embarrassing to all the other athletes - and our country, mind you - that the USA would have finished behind Guam - perhaps dead last - and you all would not have an Olympic Hero to look up to - and that would be a shame, and you would be FORCED - you would be forced to cheer for the Detroit Tigers - it's true...it's true."

  • "Now, I know why all of you are down...because, for the first time in my life, it appears Your Olympic Hero is in a slump. For the past week, I've tried to attain Intercontinental and European gold...only to come out empty handed. And sure, all of you people here are used to that...falling short of your goals and dreams time after time, and that's expected - but for me, it's different. Let's face it - I'm a winner! It's true...it's true. So tonight, I say - no, I vow to become King of the Ring. And I am so sure of that, that I didn't even bother to find out who my opponent was tonight - and guess what? I don't even care! Whoever it is - whoever my opponent is, I feel sorry for the poor soul, because tonight, he is going to experience an Olympic lesson that he will never forget." Kurt 2001 KOR semi-finals

  • "Yeah I've got something to say. Look at these gold medals! I'm an Olympic hero - an AMERICAN Olympic hero, and I should be facing a Canadian Olympic hero. But the most famous hero - Olympic hero that Canada has ever had was Ben Johnson. Sure he won a gold medal, only to have it taken away, because he had to cheat to win, just like every other Canadian. And tonight, I'm going to beat not an Olympic hero, not even a Canadian hero...tonight, I'm just gonna beat a Canadian, Chris Jericho. And after tonight, they're gonna rename Gretzky Boulevard ANGLE Boulevard - oh it's true, it's true. And one more thing, I hear that Shane McMahon's limo, his WCW limo is circling the arena - well I want Shane McMahon to try to interfere in my match. I DARE Shane McMahon to interfere in my match. As a matter of fact, I DOUBLE dare him."

  • "What just happened? I'll tell ya what just happened. A WWE icon - a legend just got screwed. That's what just happened! It's a travesty! ...Triple H or Hogan? What the heck are you talkin' about? I'm talkin' about ME, you idiot! I mean, what is this anyway - Screw Kurt Angle Month? Last week on SmackDown!, I beat Edge straight up in a cage match - and Hogan comes down and attacks me from behind, and throws me in a cage, and I get screwed. And then tonight, same thing happens - Hardcore Holly attacks me from behind and throws me over the top rope and I get screwed again! And it ruined my chance at becoming Undisputed Champion at King of the Ring. I mean, what does Hardcore Holly teach these kids at Tough Enough, anyway - how to cheat and use underminded tricks? I mean, PLEASE!"

  • "You want me to team with the Hollys? Well, they did make me mad enough to break Bob Holly's arm once and laugh about it. Ah, I smashed Crash over the head with a chair once, I've physically threatened Molly...but you know what, I forgive them. And plus they get to be with a Hall of Famer! I will do it, thank you."

  • "With your three H's and my three I's, together we can beat the three D's of the Dudleys." Kurt Angle to HHH

  • "The New York Knicks are going down! The New York Knicks are going down in the NBA finals after they defeat the Indiana Pacers. It's true, it's true."

  • Angle talking about Regal, not knowing he is behind him, "....I think he has the mad cow disease or something."
  • Christian: "*cough* right-behind-you *cough*"
  • Angle: "And that fake accent - please, who is he kidding?"
  • Regal: "Excuse me, could I have a word with you?"
  • Angle "Fine, but what's the deal? I mean, I want Benoit, you should want Jericho. What is going on here?"
  • Regal: "That's what I have come to talk to you about. Let's take a little wander to my office and we'll adjourn over some tea."
  • Christian: "*cough* Regal's-tea-is-urine *cough*"
  • Angle: "Hey, Christian - you should see a doctor about that."

    "I KNOW that you people have been laughing at me. I know that the boys in the back have been laughing at me. Oh yeah - I hear you snickering and pointing every time I walk by. But this is no laughing matter! This is SERIOUS! What I'm about to tell you...is extremely difficult. ...I'm bald. I'm bald and I've been wearing a wig! Oh, it's true. Ever since Edge shaved my hair off...at Judgment Day, it hasn't grown back since. I mean, I've tried EVERYTHING, from Rogaine, to hair tonic, heck I've even tried fertilizer! But nothing seems to work. And Triple H and Hulk Hogan...tried to make a joke out of me, by exposing my naked head last week on SmackDown! Well I AM NOT A JOKE! I'm an Olympic Champion! I'm a gold medalist! The real joke around here is YOU, Hogan! I mean, you look like you're a hundred years old...and you can't wrestle! Heck, you can barely move! And you wear red and yellow feathered boas, for Pete's sake! And what the heck is THIS, anyway? Angle cups his ear. I mean, give me a break! Not only are you a joke, Hogan, but this Sunday I'm gonna prove it! I am gonna embarrass you far worse than you did me. I'm gonna slap my anklelock on you, Hogan, and I'm gonna make you cry - right in front of millions of your fans, Hogan, I'm gonna make you cry! And not only that...I'm gonna make you tap, Hogan - you're gonna tap - you're gonna be tappin' right in the middle of this ring - you're gonna be tap - tap - tap - tap - tappin'! But I'm not gonna stop there, oh no, I'm not gonna stop because, Hogan, I'm gonna keep goin' until I BREAK your freakin' ankle! I am going to break your ankle, Hogan. But most of all - I'm gonna break your spirit. And Hogan...in front of all these fans...we're gonna SEE who gets the last laugh. Oh, it's true - it's DAMN true!"

  • Kurt Angle: "I kiss my mom."
  • Kurt Angle: "I wasn't alone...yes...Stephanie was there. And I remember a room...room 814...that was my room...wait a minute, wait a minute, things getting fuzzy...actually, that was Stephanie's room....excuse me."

  • Angle "All you do is talk talk talk talk talk! Well, Undertaker, I'm a man of action, oh, it's true."
  • Undertaker "No, Kurt - you're a punk."

  • Undertaker "You and me...for the title...on SmackDown! Well Kurt, I got a motto, and it goes something like this: why put off kickin' somebody's ass next week, when I can do it right now?"
  • Angle "Well, Taker, I just had a tuneup match and I'm not really ready, you know, for a match tonight - I just had a match before."
  • Undertaker "Wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute...a tuneup match?"
  • Angle "Yeah."
  • Undertaker "That's what you call that?"
  • Angle "Yeah."
  • Undertaker "Hell boy, you almost got beat by a damn rookie!"

  • "Wow. I didn't think it was possible but I think I've found someone in the company who's whiter than I am!" - Kurt Angle to John Cena

  • "How do I feel? I'll tell you how I feel - like a million dollars, lady!... You know, I don't particularly care for the tone in which you asked the question. You know, Florida’s not too far from the Mexican border, Lillian Garcia. If you don’t change your attitude, then all I need to do is make one phone call to the INS, then it’s ‘Lillian Gar - See ya later!’ Comprenda?" Angle to Lillian Garcia

  • Angle: "Justin, you know, if you say your last name immediately after your first name it actually sounds like just incredible?"

  • Kurt Angle: "And Hunter, try to go a week without accidentally hitting your wife, ok?"
  • Triple H: "Ok. Try to go a match without hitting on me, ok?"

  • Angle: "Let me ask you a question, Marc Loyd: Would you like it if someone interfered when you were trying to do your job?"
  • Loyd "No."
  • Angle: "Well, let's say you were doing an interview like this one, and a guy like Coach walks up and punches you in the face. Would you like that?"
  • Loyd "No!"
  • Angle: "I didn't think so. And let's say you politely asked him not to do it again. And while you were doing play by play for Velocity, Coach walked down and kneed you in the groin. Would you like that?"
  • Loyd "No, probably not."
  • Angle: "Of course not, that would hurt. But for the past few weeks, your Olympic hero has trying to do his job. Which is breaking people's ankles, and making people tap. But it's kinda hard when you've got a freaking 12 year old like Rey Mysterio flying around, sticking that mask of his in my business. Well, Rey Mysterio will no longer get involved in my business, because tonight, Rey Mysterio is my business. and I'm not gonna stop till he's tapping on the mat, screaming for mercy. It's true, Ay Caramba, it's damn true!"

    "Does the reality the rest of us live in not reach you down there, little fella?" - Kurt to Rey

  • "Those are some nice medals man, are they gold? What do you think I'd get out of the pawn shop for them esse?" - Eddie to Kurt.
  • "Listen here Cheech." - Kurt to Eddie

    "Whoomp, there it is!" - Kurt

    "Hey Mysterio, don't child labor laws state you can't be here for more than five hours a day? -to Steph- Get it? Cause he's, you know, short." - Kurt

    "Why would you want to involve Mysterio? Cause this is his home town? Cause he was born here, like, eight years ago?" - Kurt

    "Word up, my chicano friend." - Kurt to Chavo

    "I'm a better wrestler than Chris Benoit. I'm much better looking than Edge. And the Guerreros? Well I can actually speak ENGLISH for goodness sakes! And unlike Rey Mysterio, I've been through puberty." - Kurt

  • "Hi Kurt! *waves*" - Rey
  • "You're a punk." - Kurt

    "What the heck does PMS have to do with her Aunt Flow?" - Kurt

  • Kurt: "Canada is lacking two things, it's true. Don't make me say it again. The first is Olympic Heroes... The second thing that Canada is lacking is Memorial Day... We in the States celebrate our war heroes by having barbeques . And I realize here in Canada you can't have barbeques because you'd probably be attacked by a moose or caribou, or even a grizzly."

  • Angle: "I just got pinned by a freakin' twelve-year-old! What the heck is going on around here? People running into my matches, referees screwin' me left and right... Do you even WATCH the matches? Rey Mysterio was the illegal man! He was the illegal man...he's probably an illegal citizen...and if he had any integrity whatsoever, he'd come forth and forfeit the freakin' match! But I guess integrity isn't a part of his extremely limited vocabulary, is it? But I'll tell you something that should be in his vocabulary - broken ankle. Which is something that Rey Mysterio is going to experience firsthand courtesy of Your Olympic Hero. Oh it's true - it's damn true!"

  • Kurt: "How appropriate. We're here in 'Mini' and I have a return match with Rey Mysterio. Pretty funny, huh? Get it? Rey Mysterio being MINI? You know, short? Oh come on, people, that's funny! It's a heck of a lot funnier than me gettin' the stinkface last week! Oh yeah, people were YUKKIN' it up then, they thought it was HILARIOUS! Well, I'll tell you what's NOT gonna be so funny - what I'm gonna do to Rey Mysterio tonight. You people like Rey Mysterio, huh? That figures...since most of you would benefit from wearin' a mask yourselves - oh ya! You betcha! And Chris Benoit...if I even SEE you laugh at me again... Chris Benoit, if I even see you laugh at me again, there's gonna be TWO holy unions tonight - Billy & Chuck...and your face and my fist! And Rey Mysterio...I want you to remember one thing: You're a boy - in a man's world. And I'm a man who LOVES to play with boys - no no no wait a minute, wait a minute, shut up! Hold on, no no no, shut up, hold on a second! Hold on a second! What I meant to SAY...listen! Mysterio! Rey Mysterio, what I meant to say... is you're a boy, and I'm a man, and tonight I'm gonna LOVE to manhandle you. No wait a minute!! Hold on a second, hold on a second, hold on, shut up! Shut up! Shut up! Rey Mysterio! You remember this, pal: you're a boy, and I'm a man! And when you and I get together here tonight, I'm gonna get on top of you and-- Mysterio get your butt out here, 'cause I'm gonna kick your butt!"

  • "I have a little nursery rhyme for all you children out there, something even the Godfather can nderstand... 'You can prance and you can dance, but when it comes to relations, keep it in your pants.'"

  • Kurt to Billy and Chuck "You guys are PATHETIC! Last week was the WORST attempt at a publicity stunt I have ever seen! You know, I generated a little publicity of my own back in 1996 in Atlanta. And you wanna know how? Well I certainly didn't try to make out with Carl Lewis, I can assure you of that, oh no! I won an Olympic Gold Medal with a broken freakin' neck! THAT'S how you get publicity!"

  • "Hey - hey, I don't have a problem with gays...in fact, gay people LOVE me! EVERYBODY loves me! I'm freakin' adorable!"

  • Stephanie: "Okay, Kurt...YOU picked this one. Tonight In This Very Ring, it will be the tag team of Billy & Chuck facing the team of Kurt Angle and his partner...also, his opponent this Sunday at Unforgiven, Chris Benoit!"
  • Kurt: "Whoa whoa hold on a second Steph, come on, Steph...me team up with Benoit? Steph, that's a hard one to swallow - no no, wait, wait a minute, that's not what I meant to say! Hey that's not funny! What I meant to say is...I don't care who I team up with...because I'm gonna be the one to climb on top of either Billy or Chuck for the 1, 2, 3...no, wait - wait! It's not freakin' funny! LISTEN! What I meant to say is...I'm gonna be the one to throw your legs up over your head for the pinfall - no! No, wait a minute, wait a minute...for...I'll see you in the freakin' ring!"

  • Kurt "Regrets? Marc Loyd, I want you to listen to me very carefully. I'm the best wrestler in the WORLD. And bein' the best means never having to say you're sorry. I didn't lose to Rey Mysterio last week - Chris Benoit did. And if I was a betting man, I'd say that Benoit loses to Mysterio again tonight - and why? Because Chris Benoit is a regular person. And regular people make mistakes. But when I'm in that ring...I'm like a....Mozart symphony - or a Renoir painting. I'm as close to pure perfection as you can get. And that's what I want these people to remember. Every time they think about chanting 'you suck' to me, I'm a freakin' work of ART. And when I go...well, if it isn't my opponent tonight. You got something to say to me? Come say it to my face."
  • Edge "You don't suck, Kurt, but you're not perfect."
  • Kurt "Well these shiny gold medals say that I AM."
  • Edge "Yeah?"
  • Kurt "Oh yeah."
  • Edge "Well that shiny bald head of yours is proof that you're NOT."

  • Angle: "Hey, you don't like Big Show, right?"
  • Big Boss Man: "I dragged his daddy out of his grave across the cemetary at high speed!"
  • Angle: "Riiiiiight..."

  • Kurt: "And Essa, congratulations, because after tonight, you will have the honor of telling your future illegitimate grand children you lost to the very best. It's true. Or as they in Spanish, 'El muy true-o, arriba.' "

  • Kurt: "I've made local medical journals by setting a record by becoming the most requested sperm donor in all of Pittsburgh."
  • “...My re-enactment will, as you crazy Canucks say, reek of awesomeness." Kurt telling E&C how good his reenactment will be

  • "Now Kurt, you have your three I's but Kurt, I also have three letters. And those letters are WCW. And Kurt, a lotta rumours have been going on so, basically what I wanted to come out here to say is that WCW is starting very soon, and it's starting sooner than everyone thinks." Shane O’ Mac
  • "So what? The WCW's starting soon? Nobody cares! What people care about is my awards ceremony! So do you mind?" A mad Angle
  • "Actually, Kurt, I was finished, but - why don't we take this time and let's get into maybe, maybe you just don't understand what WCW means. Let's take the first letter. The first letter, W, meaning world. Now Kurt, we live in a world, we live on the planet Earth. But there are also many other planets. There's Mars, there's Jupiter, there's...Pluto, and those planets also have many moons." Shane
  • "Hold on a second - do you mind, I'm in the middle of my awards ceremony, okay? You're gonna come out here and do this." Kurt
  • "Kurt, before I was so rudely interrupted, I just wanna make sure that you understand, again, what WCW means. Now we're onto the letter C. C stands for championship, which obviously you do not have any currently at the moment. C has many other meanings, too. C can stand for crayon, coyote, and C also stands for cookie, which is good enough for me....Kurt, you said time is precious. Let me get down to, make sure you understand again, to the last W. W stands for Wrestling, which obviously you are very good at that. But W also stands for, I don't know - water, whatever - um...and, in some cases, *fakes tears*, wussy." Shane gets smacked around by the angry Kurt

  • Kurt Angle about Tazz: "It has to do with honor - you see, I have documents - documents, and written letters from wrestling officials, not to mention the International Olympic Committee, and even doctors that state that last night was an illegal hold by my so-called unnamed opponent - it was. Now, it is to my understanding that it's not really his fault. I mean, he appears to be some sort of street thug that, perhaps, was not brought up the right way, and, in turn, lacks integrity - one of my three I's. So all I wanted to do tonight is clear the air, and say that no apologies are needed for last night, and to also say to all of you not to worry, because your Olympic hero's undefeated streak is still intact."

    ”See this title? I’m married to this title. See these gold medals? These are my children. When you get into the ring with me you’re messing with my wife and kids. You’re messing with my life.” - Kurt Angle, to Chris Benoit, 2-6-03 Smackdown.

  • ”Stand up kid. Oh, you are standing. I’m sorry.” - Kurt Angle, to Brian Kendrick

    ”There’s two words I take exception to. Next week. Next week is for wimps. Next week is for crybabies. Next week is actually the polite way of saying We have no balls! Kurt Angle doesn’t represent next week. Kurt Angle represents Right Frickin’ Now!”

    ”Sometimes in business you have to work with people you absolutely detest to achieve a common goal.” - Kurt Angle explaining to Benoit why he chose John Cena to be the fifth member

    "Y'know, Luna... sometimes you're just too weird for me." Gangrel to Luna backstage after Luna wanted to become one of Godfather's ho's ^__^