"The Rock says who are you two roody poos?"
"You should know by know that we are the D-D-D-D--" Buh-Buh Dudley
"I-I-I-I-IT DOESN'T MATTER..."

"I'll tell you what's easy, your daughter, Vince, is easy."

"Where are you, Triple H?... Maybe you're in the women's bathroom! Well, you're not in here but the Rock knows you pee sitting down!" -- The Rock ranting while searching for Triple H backstage

"Who is booking this crap? The Rock against Billy Gunn. The Rock against Gangrel. I mean, next week the Rock will be laying the smack down on the Brooklyn Brawler, for Chrissakes."

The Rock, after the nWo requests a picture: "I'll tell you what you can do with that camera. You chico, Razor Ramon, you can shine it up real nice. Then give it to your friend, Big Daddy Cool Diesel, you turn it sideways then you give it to Hogan. You Hogan, it's already shined up, it's already sideways, eat your vitamins, say your prayers and shove it up all your candy asses!"

"Hey jabrones! The Rock says this: Badd Ass Billy Gunn, if you got a set of balls; and Chyna, the Rock knows you got some too - then your candyass and your candyass meet the Rock tonight, Handicap match, and then the Rock will take his left boot, take his right boot, turn 'em sideways and stick 'em straight up your candyasses...if you smelllllll what the Rock is cookin'."

"Let the Rock take out his magical, invisible crystal ball. He sees Edge...he sees Christian...good news, you're still WWE tag team champions - but hold on, it's a little foggy....ah there it is, clear as crystal. It's a picture of the Rock whipping both your monkeyasses all over Louisville!"

"Kane, the Rock understands that you've had a hard life growing up, a rough childhood. When you were a little kid, all little kids would come to your house, 'Kane, Kane, come out and play,' what'd you do, you'd come out, 'well, I'd like to play with you but the - but the rage of fire is consuming my soul, and' ahhhh shut your mouth, you little punk!"

"For some particular reason, your breath smells like struddle" Rock to Austin

"Look at him, he's half queer." - The Rock commentating on HHH's match

Rock: "The Great One says you can kiss his ass." Mankind: "Hey, Rock. I gave that up for lent."

"What the hell is wrong with you? Quit rubbin' yourself!" The Rock to Goldust

"FINALLY, the Rock HAS COME BACK to Grand Rapids! Now before The Rock says anything else, The Rock's not gonna be, The Rock is not gonna go ridin' motorcycles with The Undertaker, The Rock wouldn't be caught dead sharing a glass of milk with Kurt Angle, but after what happened last night at Vengeance, the triple threat match at Vengeance, The Rock has got two words to say to The Undertaker and Kurt Angle, quite simply this: thank you. Thank you, The Rock says thank you for makin' that match one of the most electrifying and exciting matches The Rock has ever seen! But that was last night, that was last night, last night, THIS - is tonight. And tonight, The Rock is here, doin' exactly what he said he was gonna do. The Rock told ol', ol' what's his name, Eric Jerkoff, Eric Jackoff, whatever, it doesn't matter what that jabrone's name is...oh yeah, The Rock told him that he was gonna come to RAW live Monday night, stand smack dab in the middle of the People's Ring THE Undisputed champion!"

Eddie Guerrero: "Orale, orale, La Roca. Ese, man, who do you think you are, holmes? You know, man, I gotta problem with you, ese. You see, hey, yeah, you I'm talkin' to you, Rock. You see, I got dos chavalitas at home - I got two little girls, ese, and they WORSHIP the ground that their father walks on, they idolise me, man. And you see, man, the other night when I walked in the room to say good night, for them to show their father the respect that he deserves, ese - I saw something very disturbing. See I looked at their wall and not only did that have a picture of me, but right next to that picture was a poster - of El Rey a la Scorpion, ese - The Rock. OOH, ese, ooh - Mr. Big Shot, ese - the movie star man. You know what, man? In my heart, I *knew* I had to teach my little chavalitas, my little girls a lesson - I had to show 'em discipline. So I got your poster, man, and I got it and I ripped it up and I burned it! And they ran after me going 'Daddy? Papa, papa, por queeee, por que, por que, whyyy, why did you rip that poster?' SHUT UUUUP! Don't disrespect me!"
Rock "Whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa you sick psycopathic FREAK! Man what the hell's the matter with you, you actually talk to your kids like that? You actually talk to your kids like that, well The Rock says this: you come out running your mouth, hey, hey, you get it straight - The Rock ain't no movie star. So what, The Rock's done a couple movies, big deal, The Rock ain't no movie star - Eddie Guerrero - YOU are a movie star. Oh yeah yeah yeah, yeah yeah, we all know that and The Rock will remind every single one o' ya - we seen all your movies, so congratulations, a string of hits, but The Rock was always wonderin', clear something up for The Rock - who were you - were, were you Cheech...or Chong?"

Rock still to Latino Heat "You want a shot at The Rock tonight, you beat The Rock tonight, then you go on next week and get a shot at The Rock's WWE undisputed championship - I tell you what, The Rock doesn't speak Spanish all that well, but let The Rock tell you in a way that maybe you'll understand, it goes like this. (to the tune of "La Bamba") Eddie Guerrero! You want a shot at the great one but there's only one problem, is you never told him whether you were Cheech or whether you were Chong, ah y arriba y arriba - oh yeah whoa whoa whoa whoa no, The Rock ain't done, The Rock has more, it goes like this: Guerrero and The Rock in this ring will meet, and when it's all over, The Rock whoopin' ass on Latino Heat, ah y arriba y arriba. Ah ya ye ya ya ye ya! Ah ya ye ya ye ya ya! Eeeeeeeddie Guerrero! Tell ya what - The Rock says this: Eddie Guerrero, all joking aside. The Rock knows you're one big, bad cat - The Rock knows you can go and you can bring it, so The Rock says this: The Rock'll tell you what he plans on doing tonight. The Rock plans on layeth los smacketh downos on your candy culo, and if you don't understand the Rock just said, if he doesn't understand what The Rock just said, The Rock just said this: tonight, live on RAW, he's gonna whup your candyass IF YA SMELLLLLLLLLLLLL WHAT THE ROCK IS COOKIN'."

"You can have your chants of Rocky Sucks, but the fact of the matter is this - is that tonight in front of thousands and thousands of Rock's fans, and the millions - and millions of the Rock's fans watching live, the Rock will proceed to climb that ladder rung by damn rung by damn rung, reach up, and snatch the Rock's WWF title. So Mankind, the Rock has said it before, he'll say it again, if your fat cellulite ass is feeling salty, then the Rock will be your tequila, so what the Rock wants you to do is sprinkle some salt on your hand, take a lick, and take a shot of the Rock, but don't get drunk, or else you'll wake up with the Rock's foot in your ass and his fist in your mouth if ya SMEEEEELLLL--what the Rock--is cookin'!!!"

"...for the benefit of those with flash photography...the Rock's got a little special treat for ya. And it's not gonna be snappin' pictures for only five seconds - you can snap pictures ALL NIGHT LONG of the Rock, whippin' both their candyasses all over Tacoma!" – Rock to Edge and Christian

(To The Tune Of Happy Birthday) "Happy Birthday To Steph, You're a Ho with Big Breasts, so take the Night off from Hooking... If ya Smell what The Rock's cooking!"

Cole "Rock, with all due respect, shouldn't you be a little more concerned with, say, the Big Show?"
Rock "Well, the Rock says this-- YOU should be concerned with fixing yourself a nice tall glass of shut up juice!"

When Rock was being interviewed wearing just a towel: "Michael Cole! Two words! Eye contact!"

"One brahma bull, two brahma bulls, three brahma bulls... you jabronis hit the jackpot! And then all of a sudden, you're jumping around like a bunch of idiots--Undertaker, with his Mickey Mouse tattoos and his thirty-three pound head, jumping around screaming like a girl! *mimicks a high-pitched whiny scream*... Kane running around doing cartwheels, scaring everybody in the casino... *pretends to put an electronic voicebox to his throat and speaks in his retarded voice* "I won, I won, let's party!" And the biggest goof of them all, the Big Slow, sits there scaring all of the Rock's fans! *imitates the Big Show's in-ring yell* And then, the doors open and the Rock arrives..."

"Take a little walk down Know Your Role Boulevard, hang that right on Jabroni Drive, and then proceed to check your Aunt Jemima, no-pancake-havin' ass di-rect-ly into the Smackdown Hotel!" -- Rock to his home ec teacher

"The Rock would like to take that whistle you got, shine it up real nice, turn that sumbitch sideways, and stick it straight up your candy ass!" – Rock to his old high school football coach

"And now, in front of all the Rock's fans, you want to serve the Rock a great big piece of that poontang pie?" – Rock to his high school sweetheart

"One... two... it doesn't MATTER if the Rock counts to three!" the Rock as guest referee to the British Bulldog

"Oh, dear God... my name's Billy! And I just won King of the Ring! But there's one problem-- everbody still thinks that I absolutely SUCK!" the Rock imitating Billy Gunn

"Big Show, you come on down!" *lifts his hands in the air and makes retarded-sounding screams in imitation of the Big Show* "Undertaker..." *takes his sunglasses off and tosses them aside* "You come on down!" *rolls his eyes up in his head and finishes his imitation of the Undertaker by moaning the following:* "DIE DIE DIE!"

"The Rock has just one thing to say to you... poontang your ass on out of here!" – Rock to his old girlfriend

"I know all the Rock's fans want to know exactly how the Rock feels about President Clinton and Paula Jones. Hey Pres, take some advice from the Rock: when you lay down with a dog, you're going to wake up with fleas."

"The Rock says, you talk about your Y2J plan? Well, the Rock has a little plan of his own, and it's called the K-Y Jelly plan, which, which means the Rock is gonna lube his size 13 boot real good, turn that sumbitch sideways, and stick it straight up your candy ass!"

"The Rock says, you and that jabroni you got with you, Curtis Hughes, come on out here. Jericho, you bend over, and the Rock will take the entire Curtis Hughes, turn that sumbitch sideways, and stick it straight up your candy ass!"

Rock "Nah, you know what, piss on that because as far as the Rock is concerned, there ain't nobody, and the Rock means - "
Crowd: "Nobody!"
Rock: "Don't do that.”

"Now onto 'Badd Ass' Billy Gunn. The Rock understands what took place. The night you won King of the Ring, you got down on your knees, put your little hands together and said a prayer, and it sounded like this: 'Oh Dear God, you see, my name's Billy. And I just won King of the Ring. But there's just one problem: everyone still thinks that I ABSOLUTELY SUCK!' And then at that point Billy, your house started to shake, the heavens opened up and God Himself spoke to you and said: 'Bob...' 'But my name's Billy...' 'IT DOESN'T MATTER WHAT YOUR NAME IS! You are absolutely right. You do suck. But there is one thing an one thing only that you can do. You must go find the man that is simply electrifying. You must go find the Rock.' 'Oh but God, anybody but the Ro..' 'KNOW YOUR ROLE AND SHUT YOUR MOUTH!' And then as fear went through your body, tears went down your cheek and piss rolled down your leg, your house started to shake again, the clouds parted and the heavens opened. And what seemed like millions... of voices said to you in unison, jabronie, 'If ya smelllll what the Rock... is cookin'!"

"The Rock doesn't care about the history of the WCW Title? Well The Rock knows damn well the history of the WCW Title. The Rock knows that the title traces back to Frank Gotch, Lou Thesz, Ricky Steamboat, and WHOOOOOOOO Ric Flair! The Rock also knows damn well, what in recent years the WCW Title has come to... Diamond Dallas Page? Booker T? The guy from Scream 2, the dog from Married with Children, the maid from the Jeffersons! Shane McMahon, this title is just like your sister, everybody gets a turn!"

"Who is The Rock? Who is The Rock? Oh, you should know who The Rock is, you interrupt The Rock, The Rock'll be the guy to get in that ring, tighten his shoes and whup your ass! Or maybe you don't remember, you and The Rock, Triple H and The Rock, well The Rock, let The Rock break it down for you: The Rock, the most electrifying man in sports and entertainment; The Rock...The Rock, brahma bull, great one, People's Champ, and oh - to say the least, The Rock is something you're not, Undisputed Champion, so shut up, bitch."

"Benoit you think it's so special to be Chris Benoit... It's not. Anybody Can be Chris Benoit, the jabroni holding the camera, some hot chick in the corner, even you Kevin Kelly can be Chris Benoit."

"Lets talk about Benoit, Malenko, Guererro, Saturn, Pluto, Jupiter, Uranus....It doesn't matter what planet you are!"

“On to tonight; on to the triple threat match; Kurt Angle and Tazz. Well, the Rock says this—going two-on-one with the Great One is gonna make both your candy asses famous! And Rock says this. Triple threat match, quadruple match. Three-on-one, four-on-one, eight-on-one, call 9-1-1, six one way, half a dozen the other—oh, right up your candy ass!”

"Ain't you that guy that drank pee?" Rock to Regal

"I can't jump high, so I jump from high places." Cactus Jack

"I told Sting that lump in his throat wasn't emotion, it was his liver!" Cactus Jack

"If the Gods could build me a ladder to the heavens, I'd climb up the ladder and drop a big elbow on the world." Cactus Jack

"I think it's time the fans accepted Tommy [Dreamer] for the sweet, sensitive guy he can be, not this guy who's trying to hurt me, then he dragged the hardcore outta me, because I am hardcore."- Cactus Jack

"Those Doritos haunted me and they called me, until I couldn't resist anymore! For God's sakes man, don't you know I have an eating disorder?!" - Cactus Jack to Mikey Whipwreck

"The thing about this Royal Rumble, is that it's not whether you win or lose, but how many people you can hurt along the way." Cactus Jack

"Road Dogg, I have a confession to make... I don't know how to get you down, so I guess your ass better call somebody!" Cactus Jack, after hanging the Road Dogg from the ceiling

Mankind (delighted): "Hey, Rock!" (holds up part of a candy cane) "I kept this part of the candy cane for the People's champ."
The Rock (struggling to remain expressionless): "What do you want?" Mankind "I just wanted to tell you, Al Snow's going off the deep end! I mean, the guy's really... he's not there, Rock; that elbow sent him over the edge!"
The Rock: "Whoa whoa whoa; look at the Rock's eyes! Do you see any fear in the Rock's eyes over a man named AL?!"

MANKIND: "It's a great day because even though we saw the postponement of Test's and Stephanie's wedding, in some ways I feel like we just had a marriage take place right in here!"
THE ROCK: *The Rock's eyes go huge* "Are you implying to the Rock that you are asking for his hand in MARRIAGE?!"
MANKIND: "No, it's a figure of speech, kind of. I just meant that, unlike all those other..."
THE ROCK: "First and foremost, Mick, the Rock is not coom-see coom-saw! And the Rock could care less if you want to offer him a piece of that poontang pie!"
MANKIND: "Rock, I'm not a biology major but I don't think I have any poontang..."

MANKIND: "I've got something important I want to get off my chest... I don't want to mince words, but I'm going to come right out and say it."
THE ROCK *sitting with a hand against his ear*: "Sure, sure."
MANKIND: "I think we should just call it quits..."
THE ROCK: "Absolutely."
MANKIND: "Break up the Connection..."
THE ROCK: "You sure you want to do that, though?"
MANKIND: "It's just that there's so many other kids who need my help, who need my guidance, and you... you're almost there!"
THE ROCK: "Right... Bulldog feels that way as well, too."
MANKIND: "You're going to make it on your own!"
THE ROCK: "Right..."
MANKIND: "You're going to BE somebody!"
THE ROCK: "Hold on one second." *takes the cell phone away from his ear and looks at Mankind* "Who are you TALKING to?"
MANKIND *standing*: "Hey, don't get excited. I just here to say that..." *claps the Rock on the shoulder* "You're gonna be all right, kid! If you ever need me, I'll be there!" *walks out*
THE ROCK *back into the phone*: "It's that Mankind... he's half-retarded; you know that..."

Mankind: How could you do that? HOW COULD YOU!? I give you a present... I give you something I've worked hard on... and you just throw it away?
The Rock: What are you talking about, your book?
Mankind: No it's not my book, it's my life! It's my work, my blood, my sweat, my tears, and you'd take it and you'd throw it away! Goddamn it, it's not about the Rock 'n Sock Connection, it's about the fact that I give, I give, I give, and you keep on taking! And so I say to you, DWAYNE... I say you piss on everything I believe in, I say piss on YOU, you self-centered, egotistical, self-righteous son of a bitch!
Rock: Well, the Rock says you can take...
Mankind: No, I say this! I say this! I say I don't want to know you, I don't want to fight you, Rock... I don't want to work with you, I don't even want to know you exist. So one last time I walk down the aisle tonight, and after that, everything, everything, you and me, no more! You live with that. And grow up.

Mankind: Hi Debra, I'd got something for your breasts!
Debra: Is there something wrong with them?
Mankind: No, in fact I get a tingly feeling whenever I look at them. But I'm afraid you might catch a chest cold which in your case might be fatal. Here's a sweater."

Mankind: "Ken Shamock's interviews are the second leading cause of teenage suicides."

Mankind is singing "He's Got the Whole World in his Hand." He stops to shout into a locker room "Blackman! I'll let you know when I find your charisma, buddy!"

"Of all things I've lost in life, I think I miss my mind the most." Mankind

"Last week, I said 'Suck it' for the first time without saying please." Mankind

"And if you're not down with that, I've got 2 words for ya... no not 'Suck it'... mmmmmm beefy!"

“What’s it like to look out there and actually see people in the audience?” Cactus Jack to the Radicals backstage when they first jumped ship from WCW

"I am the best referee there is, the best referee there was, and the best referee there ever will be."

"You say a McMahon always stands behind his word, well I happen to be a Foley, and a Foley always stands behind his sock!"

"If ya smelllll lalalalala what the sock, is cookin'!"

"Last week I came out here, and I was screwed worse than a White House intern."

"...I've got one more Rock to climb if ya smell what the Sock is cookin'!"

"I got 13 words for the outlaws, 'how much wood could a woodchuck chuck, if a woodchuck could chuck wood?' " Mankind at Summer Slam

"Can I say 'ass' on TV?" Mankind

"Mankind does not like having his testicles grabbed by another man! I didn't like it when I was an altar boy, and I didn't like it last week!"

"Wait, wait - Vince, can't we talk this over a little bit? You're trying to tell me that I, I, I, I can't be a part of WrestleMania? Well Vince, look...I hate to disagree with you, and by golly, I hate to quote the Little Engine who Could, but as the little engine once said, Vince, I think I can, I think I can and I'll tell you why..." Mick Foley

"I think [my] book is a lot about just how ridiculous the lifestyle is. For example, you win the King of the Deathmatch, you're on a cloud, and you've got press all around you and then the press leaves, and you realize there's no ambulance for you, the bus has left, and you walk to the hospital with your bag." - Mick Foley

Mick Foley, accepting his award in MSG surrounded by ECW alumni: “It really is great to be here surrounded by so many great superstars…and Al Snow!”

"While my wife might be his manager, after tonight, Kurt Angle's gonna be my bitch!" - HHH
"I love when you talk dirty" - Mick Foley

"Wow, Randy, I gotta give you credit, you did get it done at WrestleMania, yeah, you got it done. You beat up a Hollywood actor and a guy who writes children's books." -- Mick Foley

"Welcome to Anaheim, California, my fellow broken-down, washed-up wrestler." Mick Foley to Shawn Michaels

Mick Foley: "I sure as hell am not a normal man."

"Power should be confined to those who are not in love with it!"

"You know Alexander Hamilton? You know, the guy on the ten dollar bill? Do you know how he died? He died in a duel with Aaron Burr. If they'd only worked out their differences in a bra and panties match instead of dueling, he'd still be alive today!" Mick Foley talking Trish into doing a B&P match

"Sugar coated testes? Is that a new breakfast cereal?"

"I thought about going to WCW but then I realized I wasn't old enough."

"Triple H, I know why you're so miserable, because you have to live with the fact that Y2J got more action from a 10 second kiss with your wife then you've gotten from her the entire 10 months that you've been together."

"Can I have a word with you Commissioner?" Trish
"But of course you can Trishy Wishy." Foley
"You know I was thinking. Since Triple H left, I don't see a need for a match tonight. I mean it's just not fair after last night. I mean, my body is aching all over."
"Oh...I know it is schnoooky bumps."
"So a handsome fellow like yourself would understand and you wouldn't want to subject poor little me to something like that?"
"Of course not poopy pants."
"So, what do you say we just call it quits on the match?"
"And do something else banana cream pie?"
"Well, yeah we could uh..."
"Like?"
"Uh we could..."
"Like what Trishy?"
"Well, we could just...uh...?"
"What could we do Trish?"
"We could talk?"
"We could talk? Could we? And what would you like to talk about? Sexual harassment! Trish, now I'm getting tired of you coming in and forcing your sexuality on me, harassing me if you will."

"So, you have two choices Trishy-wishy. Either you get out in that ring and wrestle your little butt off or I'm going to sue you for sexual harassment. Because, after all, I feel so violated! So cheap! So used! So get out there and wrestle Trish because that's my ruling....and it's final!"
"Well, you know...I didn't think you were intelligent or handsome anyway!"
"Oooooooh!"

"She went from playing with my little girl to having her neck stretched - her shoulder torn, and I'm telling you right now, as we stand here in this ring, Chris, that that sick little smile on your face...I'm telling you, Chris, that you make me sick!" - Comissioner Mick Foley on Benoit's attack on Chyna

"Anybody who doesn't get a kick out of the Hurricane is not somebody I'd like to talk to." Mick Foley

"Professional Wrestling will never be respected, no matter how many teeth I lose, no matter how many ears I lose, no matter how many brain cells have to die." Cactus Jack

"I can picture you about 10-12 years ago beep-bopping in your room as Vanilla Ice sang Ice Ice Baby!" Foley to Shane McMahon

"I like a white Christmas but I really hate Snow on Thanksgiving." Foley refering to Al Snow

Mick: "It's a pity your ears aren't as big as your nose, because you would have heard me say that the Rock has the night off!"
HHH: "Well at least I've got 2 of them!"

Al Snow is out as Mick Foley "I'm out here in the form of a protest - Vince McMahon, you've been talking about the interest of fairness, when really all you've been about for the past few months is the interest of screwing! And no, I'm not talking about you screwing me, and no, I'm not talking about you screwing Trish Stratus..."
Socko: "Yeah! Who's he think he's fooling?"