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The Dedication of a Children’s Memorial Garden
On an overcast and slightly chilly morning in early May (the day before Mother’s Day), a crowd of about five hundred people were gathered outdoors in the serene setting of the Winding River Park in Toms River, New Jersey. Ducks could be seen swimming in a nearby pond, and a beautiful garden with fresh plantings and a newly minted gazebo graced the landscape of these idyllic surroundings.
However, this was no ordinary crowd, and this was no ordinary garden. The assembled group was comprised of bereaved parents and siblings, and this was a garden created in the memory of their beloved children and siblings - a children’s memorial garden.
On Saturday, May 7th, the Ocean County chapter of The Compassionate Friends, one of the largest chapters in the state, conducted a dedication ceremony for a garden built on parkland property which the Township of Toms River had designated for its use. Through the hard work and dedicated efforts of many, and the generous financial support of the local community, an idea had come to fruition: a garden dedicated solely to the memory of children gone too soon.
There was a butterfly garden where large stones formed the shape of a butterfly, surrounding fresh plantings of flowers and shrubs. There was a walkway whose paving stones contained the names and pedigree of children, prematurely lost to this world. Granite benches dotted the landscape, on which the bereaved could sit, contemplate, and remember the lives of their loved ones. There was a newly sculpted statue of a mother in mourning , and a gazebo where those weary of grief could sit, think, and gaze at the beautiful surroundings. There was a centerpiece sculpture of two young children reaching out to the sky, as if to question the wisdom of their eternal decree.
The dedication ceremony was a moving one. Spiritual though not liturgical, it provided a sense of peacefulness. Poems were read, songs were sung, and there were kind words from municipal officials whose assistance was critical to the success of this memorial park. The names of all departed children whose parents and siblings were present for the dedication ceremony were then read out loud. As a finale, butterflies were released in the center of the garden, a display of the international symbol of grief in a world graced with both beauty and sadness.
For those wishing to visit, this beautiful garden is open to everyone, whether from Ocean County or not, whether a bereaved parent/sibling or not. It is one of two such gardens located in New Jersey, established by a chapter of The Compassionate Friends as a monument to the memory of our children and siblings. Its spirit can be summed up in words located at the entrance way to the memorial, “The Memories of our Children will be Forever in our Hearts”.
Directions to the park can be found at www.OceanTCF.com or by contacting the chapter at their e-mail address, OceanTCF@yahoo.com . Photos of the dedication ceremony and of the park can be viewed on our own Morris County chapter website, www.angelfire.com/nj4/tcf_nj/ , or on the Ocean County chapter’s website. Mark Adler Link to the pictures Children’s Memorial Garden
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