It is amazing how much of my time has been spent on ‘NSync in the past (almost) two years. Before I get to the "important" message, I’m going to elaborate for a minute or two (or three or four, or ten . . . )
I started to like ‘NSync when my dad was flipping channels, and he stopped on the Disney channel, and the Disney concert was on. He listened to the song ‘Sailing’ until it was over, while I complained about the channel. I desperately wanted him to change it to something else. The only reason my dad was even listening was because he knew Christopher Cross, and he began telling me what the song was about. (If you really want to know, it’s about Lake Austin. My dad has met Chris Cross, and blah blah blah.) At the time, I liked Marilyn Manson, and I didn’t even give a second thought to what was on the TV. I just thought they were a bunch of stupid little boys (and one old one, but I didn’t know that at the time . . . ) prancing around on the stage.
A few nights later, nothing was on TV, except the damn concert, so I decided to watch it. And, as annoying as it was to me, the songs were stuck in my head, and I ended up seeing them on MTV several times, with their new single ‘Tearin’ Up My Heart’. Then I saw them on TRL, with what was called "‘NSync TV". Unfortunately, I was stuck.
I went on the Internet, found out a lot of information about them, thought Justin was a hottie, and started going to sites about them. On October 10, I found a site called "‘NSync World" I printed out some stories that were just beginning, and as interesting as it is, that one story was ‘Fallin’ In Love Can Be A Pain’. And because of that one story, and another which I have lost, I got hooked on ‘NSync fiction. I ended up trying to write it, and got hooked on that, also. I collected quite a few stories, and friends, and one had a webpage. I decided, ‘Hey! I want to do that, too!’ So on Thanksgiving of 1998, while my parents were at a friends’ house, I made my own site.
It’s been the center of my attention for quite some time. I spent quite a bit of 1999 focused on just that. My grades went downhill, as did my social life. And since my social life wasn’t much before, it became practically non-existent after that. All I cared about was writing and updating.
After moving to Austin, losing several best friends, going to camp, starting school again, and meeting a new friend, Adrian, I stopped thinking about it so much (with a brief period in August where I worked on it almost every day and night while I was in Maryland). I actually started to have somewhat of a life. Of course, it didn’t last too long. Around the time of December I got hooked again. Then lost it again around March/April/June.
But after I went and spent some time at my dad’s house in New Mexico during July, I’ve realized there is something seriously wrong, when I’d rather stare at a screen instead of going out into the world, or talk to those who care about me (I pretty much ignored my dad the entire time).
Taking that into consideration, I’m stopping. Kinda for now, at least. I can’t do this anymore. I’m not deleting my site, and I’m not completely STOPPING. Just not doing it like I should normally. I will finish my stories, and most of my open ‘projects’, and periodically update little things. But, and I say this to warn you, once I am done with my stories, once they are all finished, I am done with my page. No more editing, no more writing. Nada. Maybe, if I have spare time later in my life, and I’m not concentrating on my future, I’ll work on it again.
A few things I should say: Right now, my life is in dire need of being fixed. I’m almost 18. And I’ll be living on my own soon. I need to know how to work, how to pay bills, how to, well, live. I’m failing out of school, probably not going to go to college, which won’t help the whole money situation, and that means I’ll have to work twice as hard, and if I keep going at this rate, I’m going to end up serving burgers and fries for the remainder of my pathetic life. And I can’t have that. I refuse to go out like that.
So with that in mind, I’m saying "I’m sorry." But it has to be like this.